Sex questions

tuscloud311

Instead of bumping my other thread and derailing it, ill just make a new one for a different issue....

Same girl, the one who does everything to make me happy, and sacrifices her own free time to please me. I want to make it up to her, but theres some problems...

This may be detailed, and if it is, feel free to censor it, but otherwise, here we go:

1. She cannot cum by being fingered. She said shes only done it once to herself, and no one else can do it for her.
2. She cannot cum by being eaten out. She said the only time that has happened, is from a girl (she is bi).
3. She only gets wet when she knows im enjoying whatever she is doing to me. IE: giving me a handjob will get her wet. This makes it difficult for any foreplay on my end.
4. She has cum every other time we have intercourse. Every time i go down on her in the middle of sex, she tells me to not worry about making her feel good, she just wants me to.

so to the questions....is she serious? or is there some hidden meaning...you know how girls are: "yeah, you dont HAVE to do this..." means "i really want you to do this". And ive tried...ive fingered her everywhere we go....sometimes she will get wet (depends on scenario...public, spa, etc.) but she wont ever cum from it. the most i will do is turn her on even more to basically get me off.

I want to make it up to her. Before she moved in, i jokingly said i could wake her up every morning by eating her out....an orgasm for breakfast really. And it seems like i have no shot at that. I dont feel *that* bad because she told me its normal for her....and our sex is based soley around getting me off...she loves it. But is it sufficient to be healthy in this relationship?

Malkor

Wow.... wow. Sometimes sex isn't just related to the physical act. When there's a real connection, it can be just as good if not better than the feeling you get from nerve endings.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_sexual_arousal_disorder

Im not sure if this is exactly what I was looking for, but some women just are just built that way. From the other things you've said, it sounds like she can have orgasms which is always good. I don't think you really have anything to worry about though.

ChopperDave

I'd say so - different strokes, you know? I know that I can't get it off to a handjob (or even masturbate well using my own hands, for that matter), sometime I need oral just to get it up for sex, and a lot of times knowing that the girl is enjoying it gets me going faster.

People have different preferences and react differently, and sometimes not at all, to sexual stimuli. As long as she says she enjoys what you do for whatever reason, however unbelievable it is to you, just work with it. Don't worry about getting her off with everything, because she knows how to do it much better than you and will point you in the right direction if need be.

tuscloud311

well another thing that kind of gets to me, is that im kind of self conscious when i want to try something new. The best way for her to get off (and me, actually) is if she is on top. so when i want to try something else, its like i have to make sure its going to be worthwhile for her. basically, i want her to lead. if shes very limited on what gets her off, then i would like her to show me....

hmm, should i just ask her? last time i did that, she had this damned..DAMNED sexy grin saying "whatever you want to do baby, i want you to feel incredible".....who can say no to that right?

i just dont want to bore her....i dunno, not much more to it really.

ChopperDave

tuscloud311 wrote:

hmm, should i just ask her? last time i did that, she had this damned..DAMNED sexy grin saying "whatever you want to do baby, i want you to feel incredible".....who can say no to that right?

I'm sorry, what exactly is the problem here? Do you want our permission or something? YES, ASK.

tuscloud311

haha, i dont need permission...but im just saying...every time i DID ask, i got the same response. I want to know if theres a workaround. fuck, i dont know...its kind of frustrating having her ONLY want to please me...

god that sounds so weird

Malkor

Maybe you should talk to her about sex before your clothes are off. Have an actual conversation and see what you can find out.

Serphimera

Wow! You have pretty good thing going there. Don't worry about her only coming every other time--as women go, she's above average in that respect. She knows what she wants, even if she has trouble telling you. Just let her direct things and it'll turn out fine.

All in all, I'd say don't worry, you seem to be doing a great job. Just the fact that you care so much about her enjoyment is a huge turn-on.

Zonkytonkman

it sounds like she may have some submissive tendencies, her pleasure is directly related to yours. She also tells you that you can do whatever you want, and as long as you're enjoying it, she's enjoying it.

She may very well have submissive/slut fantasies that revolve around being used for sex/treated like a sex object. It's not uncommon.

You obviously don't want to just start calling her a whore and slapping her face while shes giving you head or anything, but you can experiment with taking a more firm hand in the bedroom, telling her what you want her to do(there's a distinction between telling her what to do, and what you want her to do, one is subtle, the other isn't). You might also want to talk to her about what she fantasizes about, stressing the fact that you won't judge her no matter what she says.

I was with one GF for months and months before I found out exactly how submissive her fantasies were, and after i'd found out the sex was mind blowing for both of us. All it really took was me asking in a way that made her feel safe to confide in me.

I could be completely wrong, but it really is worth looking into.