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The heck is wrong with me? (long)
Grandaddy Delicious
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
When I was a kid, I went to a small church. I was the only guy in the youth group and the other youth consisted of five girls, all four years older than me. These girls were like my sisters. They allowed me to hang out with them all the time, and I grew up with them. When I was thirteen and they were seventeen, a new guy their age started coming to church. He systematically played each of them, and slept with each of them, and broke each of their hearts before he got the last one pregnant. Each of the girls left the church, I assume because they felt ashamed, and I haven't seen any of them since.
I hate players, have ever since.
I haven't been in a ton of serious relationships. I've been in a few, but none that lasted longer than a few months, that is, until a couple years ago. I started dating this girl and we ended up dating for around a year. Her parents got divorced while we were dating, and it kinda shook her whole foundation. I've mentioned her in h/a before, about having trouble getting over her.
Since we broke up, I have "screwed around" with around twelve or thirteen girls, nothing less than using them. I'm a dick, I realize that I'm a dick, and I feel terrible about myself for the most part. I've used these girls, and I've really screwed them over. I'm so emotionally detached about it. How did I go from being the anti-player to the player? How do I fix myself?
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I hate players, have ever since.
I haven't been in a ton of serious relationships. I've been in a few, but none that lasted longer than a few months, that is, until a couple years ago. I started dating this girl and we ended up dating for around a year. Her parents got divorced while we were dating, and it kinda shook her whole foundation. I've mentioned her in h/a before, about having trouble getting over her.
Since we broke up, I have "screwed around" with around twelve or thirteen girls, nothing less than using them. I'm a dick, I realize that I'm a dick, and I feel terrible about myself for the most part. I've used these girls, and I've really screwed them over. I'm so emotionally detached about it. How did I go from being the anti-player to the player? How do I fix myself?
What the fuck is wrong with me?
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Grandaddy Delicious on
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Next, you're only "using" someone if you cultivate--or even just ignore--widely differing perceptions of what is going on. To wit, if you're just wanting some sex, and you encourage her to think there's something more behind it, one might say you're "using" them. You're not a "player" unless you are exercising deception to achieve selfish ends. If you're just hooking up with like-minded women, the word you're looking for is "hedonist."
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If not, you didn't use anybody, if they felt they were played, it was by their own doing.
You sound like you want to feel bad, but it doesn't sound like you've done anything wrong.
If you want to have sex with different girls, don't lead them to think you want more and maybe actually tell them you just want sex. Some girls are cool with just sex.
If you want a realtionship, pursue a realationship.
It's pretty simple. Just don't lie or lead anybody on.