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Steven Seagal: Lawman [out for justice?]
RUNN1NGMAN
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
You may know Steven Seagal, world famous recording artist.
In his spare time, he became a master of aikido—an ancient martial art that is based on breaking guys' faces with cue balls, waving sticks around, slappy-hand fighting, bending other guys' elbows the wrong way, and repeatedly asking if anyone knows why Richie did Bobby Lupo.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMu2xNBpyQc
He has also concentrated his awesome might and ability to imitate dialects into an energy drink.
What you might not know about Steven Seagal is that for the last 20 years he has been a deputy with Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Office in Louisiana. Now his escapades will be documented by A&E in the hopes that all criminals will finally realize who they are up against and just give up. This promises to be the television event of the decade, or possibly the century if no one remakes The A-Team. Don't believe me? Check it out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uji0bcMbUaQ
http://www.aetv.com/steven-seagal-lawman/
The show premieres tonight, Dec 2, at 10 PM. Join me here to discuss the latest awesome instances of slappy-hand fighting each week.
In his spare time, he became a master of aikido—an ancient martial art that is based on breaking guys' faces with cue balls, waving sticks around, slappy-hand fighting, bending other guys' elbows the wrong way, and repeatedly asking if anyone knows why Richie did Bobby Lupo.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMu2xNBpyQc
He has also concentrated his awesome might and ability to imitate dialects into an energy drink.
What you might not know about Steven Seagal is that for the last 20 years he has been a deputy with Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Office in Louisiana. Now his escapades will be documented by A&E in the hopes that all criminals will finally realize who they are up against and just give up. This promises to be the television event of the decade, or possibly the century if no one remakes The A-Team. Don't believe me? Check it out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uji0bcMbUaQ
http://www.aetv.com/steven-seagal-lawman/
The show premieres tonight, Dec 2, at 10 PM. Join me here to discuss the latest awesome instances of slappy-hand fighting each week.
RUNN1NGMAN on
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I don't know how I feel about it being real.
They tried to bury us. They didn't know that we were seeds. 2018 Midterms. Get your shit together.
I'm debating whether to stay up for this and it's 3.37....
I get the impression that the theme of this show is Seagal rolling with two SUVs full of production crew and cops to keep him from getting killed, and arriving at already resolved situations so he can walk around and look like he's doing something.
Still TV gold though.
Watching the show while knowing it's going to be I'm not going to ever get a chance to see Steven Seagal get murdered on my TV is just not as much fun as the anticipation I'd have otherwise.
This is ridiculous and insane.
I don't know how great a martial artist Seagal is, but he's widely renowned as being a world-class fucking asshole, and my sincere desire is that, at some point, Steven Seagal is shot several times on camera, preferably during some kind of live episode. That I would tune in for.
Battle.net
First off, if I was being chased by Steven Seagal, and I turned around to get punched in the face by STEVEN FUCKING SEAGAL I'd flip my fucking shit.
Second, it's clear that his coworkers aren't reaaaaal enthused about him being all zen buddist at them. And the neighborhood that they're in frequently, which looks a lot like Agrestic from Weeds, doesn't look especially frightening at all.
Oh, also, HE'S PSYCHIC.
This show is ridiculous.
I'm particularly a fan of the Martial Arts display involving the guy in the gi who pretty clearly flipped himself over and functioned more like an actor playing the fall guy in a fight scene than anything else.
Segal's "teachings" look like they might get those guys hurt in a real life situation.
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Well what are we supposed to do now that Life is cancelled?
Salmon'd
Also, I get the feeling that Steven Seagal will be the new Chuck Norris, beard replaced by ponytail...
Steven Seagal Lever?
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Are they going to throw this up on Hulu or anything?
It already looks like it's been thrown up once.
Also, here's a video of Seagal running like a girl.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkskuSXqUD0
Or tell him how much I liked Hard Target.
He'd hit you so hard you would shit teeth...
For a cop that might actually be some fairly decent shooting. You just have to remember that most cops are terrible shooters.
I don't know, depending on how fat he is these days, I'd expect his flab to dissipate a good part of the blow.
Yeah I remember most stuntmen don't like working with him because he tends to hit full strength in fight scenes. Well and the fact he's batshit insane and thinks he works for the cia.
pleasepaypreacher.net
What was most startling was that when the time came for the deputy's proficiency test, he was just shooting at a solid silhouette with no scoring rings. All he had to do was hit the body SOMEWHERE to pass.
IIRC, Seagal already had his internet meme phase.
It didn't last very long.
Yes. Most departments don't exactly have the strongest standards for shooting qualification. I always find it funny when someone mentions "I only people with guns I feel safe around is cops" in the gun control threads because those tend to be the people I feel least safe around when they are carrying. Most cops only shoot a couple of times a year and that really isn't much practice at all.
Maybe I should drive over to Jefferson parish and see if I can spot them shooting. Combine it with the DARPA balloon day for that matter. :P
Steven Seagal appeared on the Today Show, and they aired a clip. Its a carjacking that the real cops have under control, and Steven arrives on the scene late. The suspect appears to be under control, but they still scream TAZE HIM TAZE HIM TAZE HIM. I can't tell if he was actually tazed, but it didn't appear necessary at all.
Classy.
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Dude was the first American to be given permission to open up a dojo in Japan for his martial art, and aikido isn't exactly a small time deal. He may be an asshole, but he is absolutely one of the world's greats in his martial style.
Yeah, probably. I remember seeing him hit someone pretty hard in Time Cop.
That scene reminded me a lot of my time in the army with those terrible fucking shooters. I didn't care so much in the Army as I figured they'd at least be mostly shooting at all enemies and accuracy wasn't so much an issue.
He did seemed to be practicing at the range that sorry qualification was held at. Regardless, it's not so easy to hit a q-tip even at that age.
Yes. But most cops are terrible shooters at the range. Under stress the safest place to be is where ever they think they are aiming.
First, that wouldn't make him one of the greatest martial artists in the world.
Second, no he didn't. He married into a dojo which was run by his mother-in-law and wife. Its pretty well established that as well as being an ass hole he's a pathological liar.
QEDMF xbl: PantsB G+
And, the whole thing with the family he abandoned in Japan (only after getting in good with the family in order to get all their techiques in order to come back to the states and open up aikido dojos) to practice bigamy with some soap opera actress. And then he cheated on that chick with Kelly LeBrock. Who he cheated on with his nanny.
He married into a famous family in order to get the training... and then as soon as he got the training, he abandoned his wife and kids and left to come back to the US.
The only thing he's mastered is the art of finding attractive but dumb chicks who are willing to accept his penis.
Which truth be told looking like Seagal, is kind of a feat worthy of rememberance.
pleasepaypreacher.net
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