Quick question about drug tests

planters

In the last 3 weeks I smoked about quarter of an ounce, the test is tomorrow, so far, I drank 2 gallons of water yesterday and 2 today, then I'm planning on drinking half a gallon tomorrow before the test. What are the chances of me passing it?
I'm 185 Lbs. if that matters.

TrippyDK

Its impossible to say for sure. It depends how much you've smoked within like the last year, and how fast your body processes. There are drugs out there like Niacin that are supposed to help, but that seems out of the question now that the drug test is tommorow.

Menthol

You sound like a heavier dude... weed takes longer to pass out of a bigger body than a skinnier one, being all soluble and all.

See if you can't find some powdered bleach, and if you can put a pinch of it in your sample cup (on the low, of course) that'll increase your chances of passing, too.

God, I need to stop hanging around so many stoners. :?

milehigh

Note that sometimes drinking a ton of water prior to the test will trigger alarms and they may ask you to take it again or flat out deny you employment (or whatever your seeking) though it should give you some extra time assuming they're not total jackasses.

Another theory (I looked into this a few months ago, it never became relevent though) is loading up on greasy food before the test, hamburgers, pizza and such. No idea if it works. Honestly I don't think there's much of a science to the whole thing. If you look online you'll see like 100 different methods and 1000 different products that claim they'll get you past your test. I think every body is unique and it works it's way out according to that, with not so much effect from the so called methods referenced above.

Unless you're getting a hair test. Then you're pretty much fucked.

Feral

Menthol wrote:

See if you can't find some powdered bleach, and if you can put a pinch of it in your sample cup (on the low, of course) that'll increase your chances of passing, too.

Or it could cause him to automatically fail, because they test the urine for common adulterants (like bleach).

planters

Sooooo, is there ANY chance of me passing or is like impossible, I think I drank a SHIT LOAD of water, my kindeys actually hurt.

Feral

planters wrote:

Sooooo, is there ANY chance of me passing or is like impossible, I think I drank a SHIT LOAD of water, my kindeys actually hurt.

There really isn't any way to know right now. Best thing you can do is stop stressing about it.

Is this for a job, or probation, or what?

Bionic Monkey

planters wrote:

Sooooo, is there ANY chance of me passing or is like impossible, I think I drank a SHIT LOAD of water, my kindeys actually hurt.

Again, it really depends on how frequent a user you are. If you're a very infrequent user, it can pass out of your system in a handful of days. If you smoke up regularly, it will accumulate in your system and take forever to dissapate.

supabeast

Drinking water isn't likely to make you pass a drug test if you've been smoking regularly for three weeks straight. Plan on failing, but good luck anyway.

planters

Yeah, it's for a job, I was seasonal but they decided to keep me so they gotta test me. I'm not a frequent smoker, I only started smoking those 3 weeks cuase I had money. I smoked probably a total of 5 or 6 times in those 3 weeks.

Blake T

You are more than likely boned.

If you look around you can find things you can take which mask it.

For a piss test I'm pretty sure the average time for you to get clean from it is one and a half to three weeks.

Blood tests are six months +

yotes

http://www.erowid.org/psychoactives/testing/testing_faq.shtml

Seeing as you've only got a day, look into substitution.

WeeSneak

Blaket wrote:

You are more than likely boned.

Could not of put it better myself.

Thanatos

Yeah, you should have taken something to clear up your test before now.

Don't exercise. Sit on your ass between now and your test, do as little physical activity as possible. Not much else you can do.

Locust76

Thanatos wrote:

Don't exercise. Sit on your ass between now and your test, do as little physical activity as possible. Not much else you can do.

I think that's a more than reasonable demand from a stoner

Menthol

Feral wrote:

Menthol wrote:

See if you can't find some powdered bleach, and if you can put a pinch of it in your sample cup (on the low, of course) that'll increase your chances of passing, too.

Or it could cause him to automatically fail, because they test the urine for common adulterants (like bleach).

From what i understand, they primarily check for common diuretics.

But again, what I know about it is entirely second hand. I have never had the slightest concern about being unable to pass a drug test; the only things i partake of are perfectly legal (alcohol and occasionally morning glory or Salvia)

Poyndexter

OK, I may be chiming in a little late here, but let me clarify:

Putting bleach in your sample will cause the PH to be off from normal urine, immediate fail. Also, drinking too much water will make your urine too clear, this is also a red flag for the lab and they will make you re-test.

The only for sure way to pass would be a substitution, something like synthetic urine. I don't know if I'm supposed to give this advice or not, so if not I will remove it from this post.

Endomatic

I've read that taking some B-12 before your test helps. That might be entering the realm of all the bullshit clean-out stuff like Goldenflower or whatever.

No experience personally. I got a test 6-7 weeks from now, and I just smoked a J last night. I figure if I stop now, I should be okay.

Slungsolow

my secret has always been cranberry juice. gallons of it starting at least a week before the test. I'd never take a supplement and I'd never put any additives in my urine since the testing centers are trained to look out for that shit.

so... remain calm, don't get stressed out, lots and lots of cranberry juice, a good amount of rest, 3 meals a day is good too, lots of raw veggies

Endomatic

Okay, but how long before your test did you stop smoking?

Slungsolow

Endomatic wrote:

Okay, but how long before your test did you stop smoking?

I usually got about a weeks notice, so I would stop as soon as i got the notice. Suffice to say, I don't have many sober days.

Feral

Slungsolow wrote:

my secret has always been cranberry juice. gallons of it starting at least a week before the test. I'd never take a supplement and I'd never put any additives in my urine since the testing centers are trained to look out for that shit.

That's not a bad idea.

This is my understanding from somebody who works in a testing lab - if your urine is too dilute they'll send the results back as inconclusive. According to my friend, they will check three things to make sure you haven't been drinking fucktons of water to dilute your urine: pH, creatine levels, and color. Cranberry juice will lower the pH, reducing the chances of an inconclusive result. (Creatine levels you can tinker with just by taking creatine powder for a couple days prior, and you can intensify color by taking vitamin B6.)

That said, overdoing it can screw you. If your creatine levels are abnormally high or your pH is abnormally low, that can cause an inconclusive result, too.

And of course, all this is anecdotal from one guy who works at one lab. I'm pretty sure it differs from lab to lab.

planters

Well I drank some more water today, I took 5 aspirins, my piss was coming out crystal clear, so I took some Vitamin B complex, but I think I took too much cause my piss was like neon, anyway if I fail do they tell the cops or my parents? (since I'm a minor)

DynamiteKid

I would suggest that since you're a minor they would tell your parents. I mean even if they tell the cops they'd have to tell your parents too, surely.

Spackle

Hmm when they make you re-test (uber clear piss) is it scheduled the next day? the next week?

It might work to buy him some time to really clean the system out.

Thanatos

DynamiteKid wrote:

I would suggest that since you're a minor they would tell your parents. I mean even if they tell the cops they'd have to tell your parents too, surely.

They can't tell the cops. While I'm no expert, I'm fairly certain they can't tell your parents, either.

Failing a drug test is not conclusive evidence of drug use. It is merely evidence that certain biological markers are too high or too low, and that you are likely to have used drugs.

planters

Thanatos wrote:

They can't tell the cops. While I'm no expert, I'm fairly certain they can't tell your parents, either.

That's what I thought, cuase of doctor/patient privacy?

Thanatos

planters wrote:

Thanatos wrote:

They can't tell the cops. While I'm no expert, I'm fairly certain they can't tell your parents, either.

That's what I thought, cuase of doctor/patient privacy?

I think it's actually more related to employee/employer confidentiality, but, like I said, I'm no expert.

fforde

If you fail, have you thought about saying "Oh shit, I ate a poppy seed muffin the other day!" And then see if they will let you retest the next week? A long shot but as a last resort..

Thanatos

fforde wrote:

If you fail, have you thought about saying "Oh shit, I ate a poppy seed muffin the other day!" And then see if they will let you retest the next week? A long shot but as a last resort..

A poppyseed muffin won't cause you to test positive for marijuana. :P

planters

fforde wrote:

If you fail, have you thought about saying "Oh shit, I ate a poppy seed muffin the other day!" And then see if they will let you retest the next week? A long shot but as a last resort..

Yeah I did actually, and I also thought about "my friend was smoking and I was with him" but that's a really last resort.


EDIT for Thanatos: does it show up what drugs you did or is it just positive or negative?

Orogogus

planters wrote:

fforde wrote:

If you fail, have you thought about saying "Oh shit, I ate a poppy seed muffin the other day!" And then see if they will let you retest the next week? A long shot but as a last resort..

Yeah I did actually, and I also thought about "my friend was smoking and I was with him" but that's a really last resort.


EDIT for Thanatos: does it show up what drugs you did or is it just positive or negative?

My company makes rapid tests, and pretty much any test will indicate the drug or class of drugs (opiates/morphine, in the case of poppy seeds) that turned up positive or negative.

Also, our adulteration tests measure the following parameters, which are fairly standard:

Oxidants/PCC
Specific gravity
pH
Nitrite
Glutaraldehyde
Creatinine

Invisible

planters wrote:

fforde wrote:

If you fail, have you thought about saying "Oh shit, I ate a poppy seed muffin the other day!" And then see if they will let you retest the next week? A long shot but as a last resort..

Yeah I did actually, and I also thought about "my friend was smoking and I was with him" but that's a really last resort.


EDIT for Thanatos: does it show up what drugs you did or is it just positive or negative?

That won't work. From what I was told by a lab worker, the levels you would have from second-hand smoke would be far too low to show up on a test.

sark

planters wrote:

fforde wrote:

If you fail, have you thought about saying "Oh shit, I ate a poppy seed muffin the other day!" And then see if they will let you retest the next week? A long shot but as a last resort..

Yeah I did actually, and I also thought about "my friend was smoking and I was with him" but that's a really last resort.


EDIT for Thanatos: does it show up what drugs you did or is it just positive or negative?

i think it does show what drugs you tested positive for.

i've had discussions with various managers and such about this, and a lot of them said they'll over look occasional pot usage for a good employee. now, if they find cocaine or something, there's no way... but from a lot of the conversations i've had, some employers don't really give a shit about a little pot usage.

poppyseeds will make you test positive for opium. if you use that as an excuse, they'll just laugh at you.

Thanatos

planters wrote:

fforde wrote:

If you fail, have you thought about saying "Oh shit, I ate a poppy seed muffin the other day!" And then see if they will let you retest the next week? A long shot but as a last resort..

Yeah I did actually, and I also thought about "my friend was smoking and I was with him" but that's a really last resort.


EDIT for Thanatos: does it show up what drugs you did or is it just positive or negative?

Yeah, the drug test definitely shows what drugs you tested positive for. Opiates and marijuana have totally different biological markers.

Thanatos

sark wrote:

planters wrote:

fforde wrote:

If you fail, have you thought about saying "Oh shit, I ate a poppy seed muffin the other day!" And then see if they will let you retest the next week? A long shot but as a last resort..

Yeah I did actually, and I also thought about "my friend was smoking and I was with him" but that's a really last resort.


EDIT for Thanatos: does it show up what drugs you did or is it just positive or negative?

i think it does show what drugs you tested positive for.

i've had discussions with various managers and such about this, and a lot of them said they'll over look occasional pot usage for a good employee. now, if they find cocaine or something, there's no way... but from a lot of the conversations i've had, some employers don't really give a shit about a little pot usage.

poppyseeds will make you test positive for opium. if you use that as an excuse, they'll just laugh at you.

Most managers probably don't have the kind of authority to overlook even occasional pot usage. It's generally the insurance companies who are pushing them to drug test in the first place.

Raggaholic

Thanatos wrote:

planters wrote:

That's what I thought, cuase of doctor/patient privacy?

I think it's actually more related to employee/employer confidentiality, but, like I said, I'm no expert.

There is no employee/employer confidentiality. Doctor/patient wouldn't apply because you're not saying it in an effort to seek treatment. Confidentiality laws don't apply nearly as wide as people believe. That being said, I'm sure that they can't tell the police nor the parents due to privacy rights.

There was a similar thread like this on another site that I'm not sure that I'm allowed to link, but there is a LOT of misinformation out there. Things that you buy online that claim to beat the tests DO NOT WORK. The only person I knew who beat a test did it by substituting someone else's urine and warming it at test time.

It was a lot more involved than that, but you get the idea.

Thanatos

Raggaholic wrote:

Thanatos wrote:

planters wrote:

That's what I thought, cuase of doctor/patient privacy?

I think it's actually more related to employee/employer confidentiality, but, like I said, I'm no expert.

There is no employee/employer confidentiality. Doctor/patient wouldn't apply because you're not saying it in an effort to seek treatment. Confidentiality laws don't apply nearly as wide as people believe. That being said, I'm sure that they can't tell the police nor the parents due to privacy rights.

There was a similar thread like this on another site that I'm not sure that I'm allowed to link, but there is a LOT of misinformation out there. Things that you buy online that claim to beat the tests DO NOT WORK. The only person I knew who beat a test did it by substituting someone else's urine and warming it at test time.

It was a lot more involved than that, but you get the idea.

Actually, there are a lot of things that are confidential that employers aren't allowed to disclose, any medical information being one of them. It's not criminal, but it does open them up to liability.

Feral

Thanatos wrote:

Raggaholic wrote:

Thanatos wrote:

planters wrote:

That's what I thought, cuase of doctor/patient privacy?

I think it's actually more related to employee/employer confidentiality, but, like I said, I'm no expert.

There is no employee/employer confidentiality. Doctor/patient wouldn't apply because you're not saying it in an effort to seek treatment. Confidentiality laws don't apply nearly as wide as people believe. That being said, I'm sure that they can't tell the police nor the parents due to privacy rights.

There was a similar thread like this on another site that I'm not sure that I'm allowed to link, but there is a LOT of misinformation out there. Things that you buy online that claim to beat the tests DO NOT WORK. The only person I knew who beat a test did it by substituting someone else's urine and warming it at test time.

It was a lot more involved than that, but you get the idea.

Actually, there are a lot of things that are confidential that employers aren't allowed to disclose, any medical information being one of them. It's not criminal, but it does open them up to liability.

I don't know about employment law, but I can tell you that pre-employment drug screening results aren't protected by HIPAA. The privacy of that information is covered by a different, and much looser, set of standards and I'd be lying if I said I knew the specifics.

yotes

I don't think just the fact that you failed a drug test isn't something that opens you up to criminal prosecution unless you're on probation. Besides, employers shouldn't have any reason to tell the cops or parents unless they're just being dicks. Besides, it probably costs them money to type up and mail a letter to the authorities, so why would they bother?

Descendant X

Invisible wrote:

planters wrote:

fforde wrote:

If you fail, have you thought about saying "Oh shit, I ate a poppy seed muffin the other day!" And then see if they will let you retest the next week? A long shot but as a last resort..

Yeah I did actually, and I also thought about "my friend was smoking and I was with him" but that's a really last resort.


EDIT for Thanatos: does it show up what drugs you did or is it just positive or negative?

That won't work. From what I was told by a lab worker, the levels you would have from second-hand smoke would be far too low to show up on a test.

I'm seconding that you don't bother telling them it was second hand as well. I work in corrections, and the old second hand smoke story is old and tired in addition to being scientifically impossible. I've had guys tell me that a positive hit for cocaine was from second hand crack smoke and one guy said it was from putting a crack pipe in his mouth. If you're going to lie about your drug use, at least attempt to make it a plausible lie that doesn't insult their intelligence.