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Sent fucked up text message while stoned
Stickly
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
I’m having a hard time organizing all of this into something that looks decent so please bear with me. Ok. So I’ll start off with some basic info about myself. I’m 27 years old. Male and I recently moved in with my two best friends. I’ll call them “Chris” and “Christine”.
Right. So two days ago I was out driving around town with Christine helping her check out prices for a Christmas gift to Chris. We got back home around 4pm and Christine decided that she wanted to get high before having to go to work at 5. After she parked she took out some pot and started smoking it in her car. I am not a fan of drugs at all but it’s her choice if she wants to do that every now and then. I’m not her dad.
She smoked a little of it and then offered it to me. I said no and then she smoked some more. She offered it to me again and for whatever reason I tried it. I really didn’t even think about it and I am not someone who caves to others easily. This is completely out of character for me and the only explanation I can think of why I would do that is my “Borderline Personality Disorder” coming into play. Though saying that makes me feel like I’m just trying to duck responsibility.
The fact that I tried pot is no real big deal for me, I guess. But what ended up happening later is why I’m typing this up. I was a little high for a while but then things started to change after Christine left for work around 4:30 or so. The top of my head started feeling really worm and I started to not feel so good any more. My hair smelled like smoke and I started feeling light headed and I decided to take a shower. While taking the shower that’s when everything just starts to crash. My vision is zoomed in. Everything looks way closer than it really is. The edges of my vision are fading to black or grey. I can’t remember witch. By now I have barley any motor skills and no balance. My legs keep letting out underneath me and I can’t stop moving around. It’s like my muscles have an on off switch and that it and my whole body feel five times heavier than normal. I know things aren’t right but my head to completely blank.
I remember getting out of the shower after realizing that I don’t have a towel in the bath room. So head to my room as best I can. I’m falling and pretty much walking like those nurses in the Silent Hill movie and that I think about it. Only worse. Sometime when I was still in my room I ended up on the floor in front of my door frame and sent two texts to Christine.
One was me telling her something about how it’s really hard for me to keep my balance and I remember something else in there too. It’s not on my phone any more so I can’t check. The one after that is the problem:
“feel light heded and good. You shuld come home so we can’ have sex. H and deat yhjul out”
That is exactly as it shows on my phone. I have NEVER said anything like that to anyone. That is not like me at all and god I feel so horrible for sending that to her. Now Christine is really mad at me and I don’t blame her! Chris I’ve been avoiding as much as I can the past two days. I don’t even want to look them in the face right now. Chris I have no idea how he’s taking this whole thing but he sent me a text telling me we need to talk. I told him that I fucked up bad and that it makes me want to cry and that whenever he wants to talk is fine with me.
I’ve been on antidepressants for a long time and I’m currently on 40mg of Celexa. I’m positive that the pot and Celexa mixed REALLY badly for me and I don’t even know why I didn’t think of that before trying it. Chris and Christine are the best friends I have and have made a huge impact in my life. Chris has been training me at the gym and in three months I’m down from 271 pounds to 240.5. He just offered to help me with that and never asked anything in return. Because of him I am looking better, feeling better, and for the first time my life I am starting to like what I see in the mirror.
They mean to much to me and what I did was creepy, pathetic, and just fucked up and I really don’t know what to do with all of this. I’ve cried more in the last two days than in the last three years.
I’m sorry for the wall of text but I wanted to make sure I recalled as much as possible and thank you for any help that you can give.
Right. So two days ago I was out driving around town with Christine helping her check out prices for a Christmas gift to Chris. We got back home around 4pm and Christine decided that she wanted to get high before having to go to work at 5. After she parked she took out some pot and started smoking it in her car. I am not a fan of drugs at all but it’s her choice if she wants to do that every now and then. I’m not her dad.
She smoked a little of it and then offered it to me. I said no and then she smoked some more. She offered it to me again and for whatever reason I tried it. I really didn’t even think about it and I am not someone who caves to others easily. This is completely out of character for me and the only explanation I can think of why I would do that is my “Borderline Personality Disorder” coming into play. Though saying that makes me feel like I’m just trying to duck responsibility.
The fact that I tried pot is no real big deal for me, I guess. But what ended up happening later is why I’m typing this up. I was a little high for a while but then things started to change after Christine left for work around 4:30 or so. The top of my head started feeling really worm and I started to not feel so good any more. My hair smelled like smoke and I started feeling light headed and I decided to take a shower. While taking the shower that’s when everything just starts to crash. My vision is zoomed in. Everything looks way closer than it really is. The edges of my vision are fading to black or grey. I can’t remember witch. By now I have barley any motor skills and no balance. My legs keep letting out underneath me and I can’t stop moving around. It’s like my muscles have an on off switch and that it and my whole body feel five times heavier than normal. I know things aren’t right but my head to completely blank.
I remember getting out of the shower after realizing that I don’t have a towel in the bath room. So head to my room as best I can. I’m falling and pretty much walking like those nurses in the Silent Hill movie and that I think about it. Only worse. Sometime when I was still in my room I ended up on the floor in front of my door frame and sent two texts to Christine.
One was me telling her something about how it’s really hard for me to keep my balance and I remember something else in there too. It’s not on my phone any more so I can’t check. The one after that is the problem:
“feel light heded and good. You shuld come home so we can’ have sex. H and deat yhjul out”
That is exactly as it shows on my phone. I have NEVER said anything like that to anyone. That is not like me at all and god I feel so horrible for sending that to her. Now Christine is really mad at me and I don’t blame her! Chris I’ve been avoiding as much as I can the past two days. I don’t even want to look them in the face right now. Chris I have no idea how he’s taking this whole thing but he sent me a text telling me we need to talk. I told him that I fucked up bad and that it makes me want to cry and that whenever he wants to talk is fine with me.
I’ve been on antidepressants for a long time and I’m currently on 40mg of Celexa. I’m positive that the pot and Celexa mixed REALLY badly for me and I don’t even know why I didn’t think of that before trying it. Chris and Christine are the best friends I have and have made a huge impact in my life. Chris has been training me at the gym and in three months I’m down from 271 pounds to 240.5. He just offered to help me with that and never asked anything in return. Because of him I am looking better, feeling better, and for the first time my life I am starting to like what I see in the mirror.
They mean to much to me and what I did was creepy, pathetic, and just fucked up and I really don’t know what to do with all of this. I’ve cried more in the last two days than in the last three years.
I’m sorry for the wall of text but I wanted to make sure I recalled as much as possible and thank you for any help that you can give.
Stickly on
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PSN: TheScrublet
honestly if they hold a single text message that you sent while high against you permanantly, they're not really good friends...
Also I would skip recreational drugs while on medication, unless her pot was laced but if she didn't have an issue it probably wasn't.
edit: @scrublet: It doesn't sound like pot was pushed upon, just offered. It's the same thing as offering someone half of your sandwich. If you don't take it, I'm not offended, that just means more sandwich for me.
The second part, the main part, I'd say just be an adult about it, rationally explain what happened and that you were completely fucked out of your tree. Apologise and clarify that you're not like that at all and that how you were acting when high doesn't reflect your true feelings.
Maybe tell them to either:
a) Never take you seriously after you're high (if you plan to get high again).
b) Never let you get high.
It seems awful now because you haven't had the talk and resolved everything, just handle it maturely, tell the truth and you will be fine. In fact, it'll probably make a funny story later.
Best bet, laugh at it. It sounds like your roommates will be totally cool with a whole "I got so messed up..." story. Give it some time, stay away from the substances and show the remorse you show here. Above all, laugh.
Frankly, your friend should be more understanding. If you've never tried pot before, even a tiny amount can pack a whallop, especially depending on the variety. It sounds like you got kicked in the head by whatever you tried and acted like a bit of an idiot.
You know what? It happens. I don't do drugs myself, but I know people who do, and if I had a penny for every borderline offensive or stupid thing they said or did while under the influence, I'd be able to fashion some sort of elaborate penny gown. The first time a friend of mine tried pot in high school, he spent fifteen minutes trying to convince me to let him brush my hair because it was "so soft and beautiful, why aren't we dating?" You didn't do anything wrong. I'm a big fan of the "no blood, no foul" rule, and you didn't hurt anybody. You just acted stupid and goofy.
If I were you, I'd contact your friend (e-mail, text, whatever you're comfortable with) and say, "Look, I'm sorry if what I said upset or worried you, but I don't even remember saying it. Obviously that stuff is not for me and it was a strange and unsettling experience for me too. You should know that you're my friend and I would never actually say anything like that."
If they're going to blow you off because of a social misstep that happened while you were in a (what sounds to me like) very altered mental state, then maybe they need to be reminded that not everyone has the tolerance that Christine has apparently built up to it. (For that matter, do they know you sent that while you were high and on medication, and it wasn't just you randomly propositioning her?)
Stop beating yourself up. You tried pot, and now you know what it does to you. And now you DEFINITELY know that mixing drugs and medication is a bad, bad idea. It was a learning experience and it's not the end of the world.
oh, and it was me that sent the txt. I feel really bad about it but I'm not going to lie or bail because i did something stupid to a friend.
That is all you can do, the rest is up to them.
I'm pretty sure that if you expressed the same sincerity to them that you displayed here, any reasonable person would forgive you.
Telling them yourself is better imo - I know it's hard to do it in person or over the phone, but the former is better than the latter, and the worst is just pointing them to this forum post.
Shit man, I could build a whole damn arcade with those pennies.
Seriously though dude, shouldn't be a big deal if your friends are mature. Just tell them that the pot+celexa fucked you up and you should be fine. If they're still mad, that's their problem.
Although he will have to deal with awkward roommateness for a while after that then.
I would definitely not advise trying it again with how it affected you, though.
Maybe you're an honest to god decent guy and dont harbor those kinds of thoughts.
But the way it looks to Chris/tine is that this is the shit that's on your mind, and you're either hiding it or repressing it.
I just don't see how you can hang around them without any awkwardness...
edit- i've done a lot of dumb shit high, but conveying sexual interest is a game changer...
If you don't remember I recommend stating it, that way if it ever comes up later you don't have to remember that you lied about that.
By the way, has this been resolved? It's been nearly 24 hours and you did say you were going to talk to them soon (being roommates).
These two are my best friends and I'm not going to lie to them. Honestly, the most I can remember about the text that I sent is that while taking a shower I realized that I didn't have a towel in the bathroom so I got out and did the best I could to get to my bedroom without falling over too much. I picked up a towel and the next thing I know I'm laying on the floor in front of the door going "ouch" My phone must have been nearby when I was trying to pick myself up because I vagly remember having it in my hand and texting Christine.
That text comes of way more than just creepy and I feel really awful for doing this. I talked to Christine last night a little while before I had to go to work. It was only for about 2 minutes or so. I was starting to tear up while telling her just how sorry I was. She gave me a hug and said that she excepts my apology but that she just feel to uncomfortable to talk about all of this right now. This is totally understandable and she tells me that she will come to me when she's ready to talk about this.
I plan on talking to Chris in a little while. I'm going to see if I can explain everything that I can remember about what happened the other night and just go from there. I want to make it clear to him that I was really fucked up that night and I was not myself when I sent that text. But I still take full responsibility for what I did. This is one of the dumbest things I've done but I'm not going to just run away from it.
This is going to come across as rationalizing, but what did you do? What did you really do? Was anyone physically harmed by your actions? Killed? Permanently disfigured? If they're close friends, I really have a hard time believing that emotional scars would run that deeply over a clearly messed up (in that the end becomes barely readable) text message.
Now, granted, I've never called or texted someone to proposition them while high or drunk, but I've gotten some weird texts and calls from people who were high or drunk, and it's usually something to laugh off. If they become terribly abusive, vulgar or personally insulting, it's more of an issue, but I can't really see holding a friendship threatening grudge over one text message.
Perhaps there's a deeper issue wherein one or both of them has always been a little threatened by your potential interest/intentions with Christine (imagined or otherwise), but outside of such extenuating circumstances, this just sort of sounds like it's being made a big deal because people are making a big deal out of it.
If Chris/tine (one or both) are truly that deeply offended, hurt and betrayed, that's their perogative, but at the same time, recognize that by the story we've been told, you didn't really do anything wrong. You tried a drug, and apparently found out that either due to medication you're on or other factors, it's not for you. Lesson learned, one embarassing text message sent, mistakes were made and shall be learned from. Try to hold perspective and accept responsibility for your actions, but only what you actually did. Apologize, be contrite, but don't be anyone's doormat either.
Christine: "Hey...uhh..Stick. Did you send me a text message last night?"
You: "Oh yeah, sorry about that, I was really messed up."
Christine: "Hahaha, I figured! I just wanted to make sure you knew about it."
You: "Yeah, it was a pretty embaressing thing to text."
Chris: "Oh hey, we talking about that messed up text you sent last night? You must've been screwed up royally."
I dunno, man. That's the thing about behavior under the influence. Usually the problem is that your standard inhibitions went down, not that you behaved in a way which simply did not fit your way of thinking.
That isn't to say that it can't be salvaged, but it'll probably be more like:
Christine: "Hey...uhh..Stick. Did you send me a text message last night?"
You: "Oh yeah, sorry about that, I was really messed up, because I'd never chemically lowered my inhibitions before. It won't happen again, I promise."
Christine: "That's pretty awkward, man."
Chris: "Yeah, have you been harboring a secret attraction for my girlfriend, combined with some sexual frustration? Is this something we need to talk about?"
You: "It's not specific to your girlfriend, and I sincerely apologize. I've been sexually frustrated lately, and I just got really messed up. I'm going to avoid abusing substances in the future, because it seems pretty clear I don't handle them well. This isn't an issue with you guys specifically, so we really don't have to worry about it."
This will be followed up by several weeks of awkwardness, during which if you manage to contain your behavior perfectly and not doing anything weird everyone will eventually move past this incident.
Well that sounds about right. Sexual frustration? God yes. Relationships are the hardest thing for me to "do". Mostly 'cuz of being a Borderline. But I don't want to get off topic. I'll post how things went after I talk with Chris. After giving myself and them a while to calm down I honestly don't think that this is going to destroy our friendship just as long as I'm open and honest about all of this to them. Which I will be, because they deserve that much.
Since no one is actually laughing and blowing this off, all the well intentioned advice about them laughing and blowing it off is not helpful unless OP wants to laugh and blow them off (and start looking for a new place to live).
When a trusted friend and room mate vulgarly hits on another roomie who's already in a relationship with the third roomie? That's the issue here: violation of trust and boundaries, not naughty words.
One: Yeah, he actually did do something wrong. He sent an inappropriate text. Grabbed phone, found name, typed text, hit send. You don't get a pass on your actions for drinking or drugs. He decided to try a brand new mind altering substance randomly, knowing he has mental health issues. Bad move and look what happened. Fact is he did the action, just like if he had drove drunk and hurt someone.
Two: It's not up to you or him what they feel. Minimizing the hurt and pain his actions caused and ignoring the people who were actually hurt by these actions is the height of indifferent arrogance. It's a supremely shitty thing to do.
Luckily OP is engaging them on their terms in an effort to make up for his inappropriate actions. OP: You've violated a pretty big boundary but you're doing the right thing so far taking responsibility for your actions.
This sounds like a poorly executed joke. It's nonsense dude. Don't beat yourself up over it. If your friends want to be all butt hurt about it, give them space, but don't apologize any more over it.
Of course, if it's on the "nasty" side of the scale you may have touched on insecurities, making the issue less about the text itself and more about the reaction and history behind the whole ordeal.
I mean, if that text had been received by my partner, I'd be a little concerned but nothing close to what you're describing as reactions.
You got high and did something stupid. We're all there at some point. Hell, take a peek in the S&E Stories thread in D&D if you want to put it all in perspective.
Shit happens, it'll roll over. Don't beat yourself up. Moral/ethical bounds range wildly, but in the end it is rather minor as an event itself.
This is the wild spectrum. Talk to them, but more than anything else I'd note that (and this is my own moral/ethical line) getting pissed over the text when your roommate was getting high before work seems a little off.
A substance which he took after repeated offers from the person who ended up being subjected to said text.
Giving someone a joint isn't a "send me booty call text without reprecussion" card, but as the person who may have at least in some fashion led to his being in an altered state, you'd think she'd be a little more understanding about it.
Which, to kill a looming argument, isn't to say "she gave him weed, she totally asked for it" or any such bullshit. I just look at it this way; chatting with a drunk friend can be trying at times. If I personally gave them the alcohol, however, I do share some of the responsibility for when they puke on my shoes. I don't want them to puke on my shoes, but, well, I was present and assisted them in achieving the state in which shoe-puke occurred. It doesn't make me entirely responsible, and doesn't remove their culpability, but it becomes more of a joint effort (pardon the pun) than them being entirely at fault, at least in my eyes.
I'm not trying to minimize their pain, but seriously, read the OP's posts and tell me like it doesn't sound as though he murdered their dog or something. More people should take responsibility for their actions in life, but he seems to be crucifying himself over what, as discussed, really doesn't seem to warrant it. Unless there's further extenuating circumstances we don't know about.
As true as it is that people are allowed to feel hurt, angry or betrayed over whatever they wish, it is entirely possible to overreact to something as well.
That's what a few of us have sort of disagreed with. There are few occasions in which suggesting you might like to sleep with a friend's SO, even in a light-hearted manner, is particularly acceptable. Especially when it's not obviously a joke, and all the parties are not present. It's an area folks get touchy about.
Also, I'd say it's clear to everyone that it's not a joke. Dude wishes he could sleep with his roommate. Obviously this is a no go, so he doesn't talk about it, everyone deals. We've all dealt with a sexual compulsion that we couldn't act on toward someone who was off limits. It's a big deal that we generally don't discuss that shit.
So yeah, its a big deal even though it was a tiny thing. I live with a couple, hang out with both of them together and separately a lot, and can't imagine anything worse than damaging their trust even a tiny bit.
Yes, it definitely should. I've had girls text me random sexuality explicit messages while they were drunk and I was never like "I'm avoiding you like the plague and mad at you". I'm going out on a limb here and saying OP is leaving something out. Something very important that he's not telling us. Reactions like that aren't normal from people, especially after they find out you had a fucked up reaction with pot.:?:
So, the question is; What aren't you telling us?
The OP is either 1) neglecting a history, or 2) unaware of the other parties' insecurity.
No, you're assuming incorrectly. The guy was on celexa and pot. Combined neuromeds AND pot definitely moves the discussion away from the standard inhibitions. Hell, the complete MOA of most neurological meds isn't even known. Pharmaceuticals look for a target, see if it hits, see if it's a significant improvement in the clinic and market/sell. Celexa falls rightly under that category and could lead to a completely unknown/unmeasured/untested secondary sensory reflex that somehow completely screwed with his amygdala/hippocampus or even frontal cortex. Point is, jumping to the conclusion of "Oh, he/she was high/drunk and that was the truth he/she was saying". No, it could be presented insanity or any other varying complications that we don't know about.
With that, I'm saying that it should really be stressed that you were taking pot while on celexa; which has NO published data saying what it can do.
This is what im getting too. I get drunk/high sex texts and booty call type phone calls all the time on weekends, or just inappropriate sexual comments from said peoples. I always blow it off and laugh about it. I tend to never do it myself, because i dont get drunk very often at all, and i dont get high at all anymore. Even so, the "ha ha ha i was so messed up when i sent you that" and then you all laugh about it and move on, is generally what happens with most normal people, especially people who regularly get high, like that Christine. She should understand what happened, she gave you the pot and you'd never tried it before.
The fact is it hit you hard, it happens. She should be a little more understanding than that if what happened in the OP is all that happened. I mean that text was 45% incomprehensible nonsense. That should say instantly that you weren't in your normal state of mind.