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Trying to start a webcomic
Temporalvision
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
2-Thumbsdown
I started drawing these last year and unfortunately life got in the way and I had to put it all on hold. I now have some extra time on my hands and am hoping to pick up where I left off.
Here are a few samples of my comics. I only have 10 of them up on my site right now but I am working on more.
All comments a criticisms are welcome.
I started drawing these last year and unfortunately life got in the way and I had to put it all on hold. I now have some extra time on my hands and am hoping to pick up where I left off.
Here are a few samples of my comics. I only have 10 of them up on my site right now but I am working on more.
All comments a criticisms are welcome.
My Webcomic :arrow: www.2-thumbsdown.com
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Apologies that this may seem like harsh criticism but I will summerise the major issues here with three points.
1) Lack of polish - Comic Sans (a cheap, nasty font which instantly nullifies anything positive about your work); spelling errors; stretched type.
2) Lack of originality - this just look just like every other webcomic.
3) Lack of humour - unfortunately, these aren't funny in the slightest.
Obviously you're just starting out, so faltering on your first few steps is a given. My advice would be not to unduly worry about it at this stage - if you're serious about producing good three panel gags then just keep at it, taking in the areas in which you can improve, working on your writing and comedic timing, etc. and if you work hard things will start to fall into place.
Keep at it, have fun and good luck.
i know they are an easy way to put something extra in the background, but they stick out like a sore thumb
if you don't feel like drawing a background i'd honestly suggest leaving it blank (or a solid colour); gradients are so overused in webcomics that i'm pretty sure they cause me physical pain
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in the three comics above, there are three spelling mistakes (re-fryed, burritoes, completly) and three incorrect apostrophes (so what's with, white spots on it's back, he's good and tender)
it can be irritating to have people focus on the writing when you spend way more time on the art, but the writing is a visual thing too!
the writing is incredibly important in joke-based comics; however pretty the artwork is, your comic will come off looking amateur if the writing and grammar isn't up to scratch
edit: also another extraneous apostrophe in "let's see"
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The big problem I have, aside from those already mentioned by others, is that the characters don't appear to be aware of each other's existence, apart from in the second comic. Their eyes are always looking somewhere else, on a completely different plane.
The fat lines on your speech bubbles are too much, also.
What grenn said though, good start, keep at it.
The only incorrect apostrophe usage is "it's". "Its" is for ownership. The rest are fine, they are contractions.
Make some actual gutters instead of black bars. It looks really weird, especially with the tangents from the shelves.
"There hasn't been much work for me lately." Don't talk about employment, talk about lack of funds. The paragraph is clunky.
Why is the other guy mad at him for buying burritos and corndogs? They are food. People eat that. If he was buying a bunch of beer and an over-sized cowboy hat, then I could see why the other character would be upset. I don't think a background that close to the characters would be blurry.
No one would ever ask about the spots on the deer. People read left to right and top to bottom. Your bubbles should reflect this. The radial gradient makes no sense. Why is the smoke on top of the bubble?
"I actually wore this to go out in public on more than one occasion." Take this out. No one cares if it's based on a true story or not until they care about the comic itself.
"You were dropped on your head as a child, weren't you?" This is not original or funny. Why not think of a comment that would be reaction to the specific pieces of strange articles of clothing that he is wearing?
It's admirable that you have shading on the comic, but your basic shapes and anatomy are very bad in parts. Work on going back to the basics.
Indeed; in the case of "what's with", and "he's good" the apostrophe contracts the phrases "what is with" and "he is good" respectively, but "It's" cannot be used as a possessive.
Anyway, on to advising. What has been said here before is true, vis-a-vis improving your art and joke-writing ability. However, these are both long-term improvements that may take many months to come about. An art style doesn't develop overnight, let's be honest.
There are some cosmetic changes you can make to improve it immediately:
Read my crappy comic. Oh man, it just sucks so hard.
If at first you don't succeed, pretend you weren't trying.
Here is a quick mock-up. You can see the big difference in changing a couple of small things.
Read my crappy comic. Oh man, it just sucks so hard.
If at first you don't succeed, pretend you weren't trying.
I guess it can be hard to see your own mistakes till someone else points them out. :oops:
@Phorcys - That is all incredibly helpful. Thanks.
No worries, dude. Glad I could be of assistance!
Read my crappy comic. Oh man, it just sucks so hard.
If at first you don't succeed, pretend you weren't trying.
The guy with the purple jacket looks like he's smuggling tires under there.
He's like the lovechild of grimace and the michelin man.
oh my GOD how the hell have i been living this lie for so long
oh god all my comics are wrooong oh jesus no
sorry for the bad advice, temporalvision!
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For #1, use higher values. For the BG, draw a window and a wall or something. For the crazy incline, you should be using perspective lines to set everything up.
Dark gray room with doorway void
Gray void
Gray gradient void
and then Gray apartment void with the same 4 books in the case.
Please draw a real background.
First off, you're off to a much better start than most we see around here.
And we see a lot.
So kudos to that.
So now if you really wanna stand out, just make some of the changes people around here have been suggesting! (they're all smart people, most of whom in here are stellar artists with loads of experience under their belts. Check out fletcher's comic, he's a great guy to be taking comic advice from.)
I have a few suggestions of my own to add to the pile
In the most recent one you started drawing in individual neat and tidy little strands of hair. Don't do that. It's really distracting and it's the only thing that you've really detailed.
If you get a friend to stand a bit back from you and examine their hair you'll notice that you can't actually pick out individual strands, unless they have very long hair that wisps out at the sides. Even those people, you'll rarely see tiny strands standing apart, you'll see clumps and shadows. Drawing hair is tricky, and with this style you've chosen, you can completely avoid it and achieve better results, I think.
So good effort in trying to cut in details, but it just doesn't fit with the rest of the style.
also your characters are all made up of basically rounded lines with consistent line widths.
I made an animated gif to explain the rounded lines bit:
as for line widths, try thinking about the variation in your lines
right now you're using bold lines to show foreshortening, but also think of varying the lines between say, the strong curve of a person's back and the tiny lines in their ear.
that's it
Also please no more metalic gradients. Guns don't look like that. The gradients do not match the surface. To improve your painting I would suggest looking at real guns. There's also a painting guide in the Tips and questions thread.
And you dont have to draw each hair, it just makes the comic look weird because everything is cartoony. Look at how they draw hair in kim possible. Stephen Silver is a good guy to study.
Also check your anatomy. I know it's cartoony but things should still be in the right places.
Gesture is also something you need to work on. There is a book called "Force" by Mike Mattessi. Take a look at that.
Understanding the concept of weight and balance will greatly improve your character work.
artistjeffc.tumblr.com http://www.etsy.com/shop/artistjeffc
I am trying to implement the advice given. Please be patient. I have never been to good with drawing and really struggle with getting the pose I want for my character onto paper. I'll just keep practicing and hopefully get better at it. It's been about 6 years since I attended a live drawing session and I really should start going again. I do notices my drawing skills always seem to improve substantially after doing a few life drawings.
Anyway.....
Please don't let up on the criticism. It's very helpful.
Here is my latest comic. Did it yesterday.
Also, if you stand outside in the sun, you'll notice your shadow isn't just a blurry blob of dark grey. Often times a shadow's edge can be quite sharp.
And the last panel in the cat-shooting comic looks very much like you were doing whatever possible to avoid drawing his feet. Don't ever cut out a subject at the feet or ankles!
I know it gets old hearing it and it probably isn't what you want to do, but draw from life. You can easily keep drawing the way you want AND draw from life too! Whatever you do, just don't stop drawing and practicing! (:
But it's also like any other skill, and will get easier with practice. The easier it is, the less you'll want to avoid it.
In retrospect I was the creepy guy looking at peoples children and making security nervous.
Maybe I shouldnt recomend doing that.
Cry.
Here is my latest comic.
It seems no more vile in subject matter than Polkster's comics to me, unless you're talking about the art.
Anyway, two things that kind of stand out to me at random: first, I don't think speech bubbles should go behind people, generally - it just feels odd. Second, the guy's pose in the last panel doesn't really do it for me. It's like an obviously framed punch line sort of pose, like vaudeville. I feel like he should be more relaxed, something to show no activity to stop them on his part.
Also sort of feels like a Simpsons gag, like I saw Homer do this at some point.
I apologize if my criticism isn't constructive, but I am just disturbed by the imagery.
Try playing with your jokes a bit more too, the whole thing was fairly obvious.
The name of your comic is spelled wrong?
Keep in mind the closer your art gets to realism the more difficult it becomes to deal with unsettling imagery and concepts
Pollster works because it's easy to disassociate the actions from the human element because it's just stick arms on potato bodies
This is hardly approaching realism, but it's close enough to make the joke tasteless
Another thing is that it is too obvious that the toys have been copy, pasted, rotated, resized etc. I realize it is not necessarily fun to redraw everything in every panel but it helps with line consistency and overall quality of the comic. For example you want the girl's hand line to be comparable to the doll's line, not as obviously aliased as it is. You could also add little touches this way too, like the doll's arm being bent after hitting the kid in the head etc.
To me "I am watching them. This is some entertaining shit." is over-explaining the joke. A better line might be "What do you think I've been doing?!" as he just sits in the couch with a grin.
But the joke is already something that feels too obvious, like who hasn't jokingly referred to that at some point. And I agree that the violence is too much. It seems like a rookie mistake of thinking violence and swearing is enough to make a good comic, when the one with the ice fishing felt much more like a decent webcomic, despite being simple and tame.
Read my crappy comic. Oh man, it just sucks so hard.
If at first you don't succeed, pretend you weren't trying.