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Buttchin the Clown
hobs707
Registered User new member
Registered User new member
Hey everyone, I'm new, so please don't hit me! 
My friend and I have been working on starting a webcomic, and it's not posted anywhere, its just an idea at this point, so hopefully this won't be considered advertising. I would just like to get the opinion and critique of people who appreciate good webcomics.
The style of it is very loose, so the color coming out of the lines and whatnot is intentional.
The main character is Buttchin the Clown, who is incredibly cheap to the point that he won't let the kids hit the pinata because he has a deposit on it, and it's filled with sand anyway. He also has flashbacks to 'nam in which he is still dressed as a clown. He also has a Mandrill, which ironically hates kids and remains creepily silent and still, except when something pisses him off and causes him to overturn a table and run out. Buttchin also insists on parking his van in the yard of the family he's entertaining at, and takes the kids for a ride in which he burns out and does donuts in the yard. The format we intend to keep is three small panels with a large one underneath in which something epic happens. Hopefully it will make sense as we go along, but constructive criticism would be great!
My friend and I have been working on starting a webcomic, and it's not posted anywhere, its just an idea at this point, so hopefully this won't be considered advertising. I would just like to get the opinion and critique of people who appreciate good webcomics.
The style of it is very loose, so the color coming out of the lines and whatnot is intentional.
The main character is Buttchin the Clown, who is incredibly cheap to the point that he won't let the kids hit the pinata because he has a deposit on it, and it's filled with sand anyway. He also has flashbacks to 'nam in which he is still dressed as a clown. He also has a Mandrill, which ironically hates kids and remains creepily silent and still, except when something pisses him off and causes him to overturn a table and run out. Buttchin also insists on parking his van in the yard of the family he's entertaining at, and takes the kids for a ride in which he burns out and does donuts in the yard. The format we intend to keep is three small panels with a large one underneath in which something epic happens. Hopefully it will make sense as we go along, but constructive criticism would be great!
hobs707 on
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You've got an idea so far, but it needs a little more time to bake.
Is this guy like, a displaced factory worker who got into clowning to make the rent and everything goes wrong? Did he come from a long line of clowns but just doesn't "get it?" Figure out why he does what he does, and in each strip figure out what part of his personality is motivating him.
And running jokes need time to run. If the mandrill is always flipping over tables, then he'll need to flip a few over before he does an "epic table flip" and produced one out of nowhere. Even professor farnsworth had to say "good news, everyone" a few times before they started playing on it.
Thanks for the input! I think for his backstory, we planned never to reveal it other then one panel textless flashbacks, and make his reasoning for a clown be left a mystery. We want it so that the readers are like the kids, "who the heck is this guy, why is he in my house?" But I understand what you're saying about his motivations and personality. We've spent time coming up with how he responds to situations and what his personality is going to be. For instance, he is a jerk to the kids, but he doesn't hate them or wish them harm in any way. His attitude comes more from his laziness and cheapness.
As for the table flipping, I don't know if tables will be a running joke. The joke will be more his creepy stillness followed by a random act of violence. He also gets outraged when he sees his reflection. But right now we aren't trying to start any schtick or come up with running jokes. We'll let those form over time.
Also, we plan to keep the 3 small panel/ 1 big panel from now on since it leaves room for a set up, punch line, and something epic at the end
Did you find it funny at all? Thanks again for the advice.
The elements of humor are there, they're just not put together into good, solid jokes.
make a four panel strip with one solid joke and chances are good that it'll get a chuckle at least.
but the darell the mandrill page made me laugh
particularly at the final panel in the third row.
that guy's face is awesome
but yes, metal has some points
you definitely have potential with this
I feel like this can really go somewhere. Its nice that you have an actual story instead of an autobiographical comic or just two guys+videogames like most everyone else that posts on here.
Also, I read his name at first as "Butchin'" I dunno if that matters but I thought it was amusing