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Yet another request for Relationship Assistance
TheMadHuntsman
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
OK, here's the situation, forum homies. I'm a minor, under 18. However, I appear much older than I actually am. I happen to own geckos, which requires me to buy crickets for them frequently. I've been chatting up the cashier girl a lot recently, who's in her 20's, and I can't quite tell if she's flirting with me or just being friendly. I consider our relationship to be a personal one, given that we talk so much, but I'm weighing the benefits and risks of making a move. On the one hand, I'm desperately single, my parents have, for the most part, given me the go ahead, and she seems like a nice enough girl. On the other: I risk alienating someone I speak to frequently, as well as losing a good friend and getting her in trouble at her job. Can I get some counsel on this matter?
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Don't make it an imperative to say yes. Just ask her if she would like to go do a thing with you. Or maybe invite her to a party or something, so it starts as a group thing and then move it to a non group situation. Just suggest it and if she says no then forget about it.
but they're listening to every word I say
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Face it, while you may look older, you're young as shit. Personally, I even look at 18-year-olds as crazy young. Maybe she wants that, or maybe she thinks you're older, but... there's so goddamn much that goes on 18-21. Like a billion thing. If she thinks you're older? Well, that'll last 'till she finds out your age. If she know how young you are? Well... things may change when you're older.
I mean, fuck... I almost was going to tell a story about how going for it can't hurt, but that's an age difference to kill all age differences. You're young, find another young person. Crush on/fuck her. It'll really end up better probably.
That is completely aside from any interest or lack thereof on her part, and if you're turning 18 in a week or the laws in your state don't give a fuck, you can feel free to ignore it.
If you've spoken with her a lot, you'll have a better idea of what she's into. Just ask her when she gets off work and if she wants to go do something.
Yeah, but as a rule girls generally don't date younger men. Especially pre-18 men.
This is very probable, I'm 20 and once got very friendly with a girl at work who seemed roughly about the same age, we went out for drinks, discovered we actually had nearly a ten year age difference and things felt a little wierd so we left it at that.
I'd second asking her to some group event, and see what she says. Or invite her to your 18th birthday party
Listen, you're asking the girl out on a date, not asking her to marry you. And I'm not saying you should lie to her, but if you don't mention the age thing until the third date or so, I don't think anyone is going to say you're a terrible person.
Of course, that's assuming there is even a first date, let alone a third date. As for the sex thing, worry about that bridge when you come to it. I say you ask her; odds are, she's going to shoot you down, anyway, and it won't be an issue.
I'm going to disagree on this one. He'd at least better mention it before ANY physical contact is initiated.
Well, dating younger men isn't a big deal, and there certainly is not 'rule' (obviously no literal rule) that women go by that says or makes them think they can't or shouldn't date younger men. In fact, a female friend of mine (who is nearly 21) is dating an 18 year old, and they're really happy, but the OP is under 18 (minor) and she's over 20 by god knows how much. She may or may not be into younger guys, and I doubt she's into guys younger than her by several years.....especially when it's illegal to have sex since he's under 18.
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I dunno, almost all of my friends are women and they never date younger. I think it's a fluke with your friend, although they are both pretty young. Most of my friends are in their mid 20's to early 30's.
Yeah, that's not a good sign. Sorry. :P
My girlfriend is two years older than me and we are in a very serious relationship. Women do date younger than themselves, it is just not common, as most guys lack the maturity they seek. Given the right guy however, I bet your friends would date younger.
Also considering statutory rape laws vary state to state you can't say it'd be illegal for them to have a physical relationship without more info.
My girlfriend is 6 years older than me, so I'll chime in to the "older girls will date younger guys" choir. But as Comahawk said, maturity gets you far.
Did you read his update? Her and her friends call him "Cricket Boy". They think he's a cute kid. That's it. :P
My Fiancee is 5 years older than me, my mom is 5 years older than my dad.
As for the OP,
Cricket Boy is not a good sign. They prolly think you are just a "cute kid" as someone pointed out.
Stay in your age bracket and you will have much better luck.
However; I'd say go for it.. you never know.
Just don't hold your breath.
The difference in ages is a lot larger the younger the two people are, and almost immaterial the older you are.
Someone 12 dating someone 17 would be all sorts of wrong, but someone 22 dating someone 27 wouldn't be wierd in the slightest. You arn't quite over that hump yet.
('Age of older person'/2) + 7 = minimum age of younger dating partner.
However there is a WIDE gulf between college and high school.
Seriously. Forget all the rules and stuff - this is the kind of thing that could indicate an issue. There can be a big maturity difference between 17 and 20. I dont know anything about you, but the above statement made me wonder whether you would have much in common with someone older.
Having saind that - I know nothing about this girl either.
I am also the younder man by four years - so I'm not just being closed minded.
Are you above the age of consent in your state? If not, don't even think about it. You could get this girl arrested, which would be a traumatic start to your romantic career.
If anything, I'd say asking them first shows more maturity.
I don't think asking her out can hurt. All those dudes bringing up consent are kind of jumping the gun in my opinion, she hasn't even been given the oppotunity to say yes or no yet much less risk going to jail.
If she can't say yes without breaking the law in a very serious fashion (welcome to the sex offenders register), why even ask?
If the boy is legal, then he might as well ask - nothing ventured, nothing gained.
That actually might be a problem, but you guys could still have a pretty good time if she says yes.
Twenties is waaaaaayyyy out of your ballpark at the moment.
So you are under 16? Then unless your state is quite unusual, you are not above the age of consent. Which means "no way". Ain't going to happen.
If she dates you, she risks jail and the sex offenders register, which would ruin her life. Would you do that to someone you like?
Would the people on this board advise a 15 year old girl to date a 22 year old guy if the genders were reversed? I don't think so.
Bet he's 14. He got balls even thinking about asking her out, I'll give him that.
OP, stick to girls your own age.
EDIT - I don't think you look as old as you think you do if they're calling you cricket kid.