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When to call a girl
spacerobot
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
I'll tell you the whole story.
I attend a bi-weekly class at a "local" vet school for a sea turtle nesting project. There are many women in this class, but the first week one caught my eye. I didn't think anything of it though, mostly because many women catch my eye. This week (last night's class) this girl sat right across the aisle from me. Cool, but I didn't think anything of it. After the class we had some sea turtle tracking and tagging exercises in the back of the classroom. While I was looking at some of the tags, she is standing next to me. I made a joke and she laughed. A few minutes later, we were chatting and I find out a little bit about her. She also introduces herself to me. We chat a few minutes longer then finish up the exercises. Afterwards I start to leave, tell her it was nice to meet her and I'll see her next time. As I'm walking out of the classroom I hear "Hey Spacerobot!" And she's walking behind me. We chat as we walk towards the edge of campus. I find out that she has a car and she offers me a ride to town, which is out of her way, so I can catch a bus to my house (I suspect she would have given me a ride home, but I live on the opposite side of the island).
Anyway, were having a good chat about the type of stuff you talk about when you meet someone for the first time. She asks me if I've ever been to the strip, which is a stretch of road with a lot of bars. I told her I had not because I don't have a car. She tells me that sometime after her exams she'll take me out there and we can have a drink together. Nice! I think I was just asked out! We get to the bus stop, and I ask her if I can give her my number, and she reciprocates. We both say "bye" and "see you next class" then she heads back home.
So now it's the next day, and I have her number. I'm fairly positive she is interested. At what point do I call her? I know I'll see her for sure in two weeks at the next class. We already talked about going and getting a drink together after her exams are over in a couple weeks. If/When I call her, do I chat with her? Do I ask her on a date/confirm our plans? I'm awful at just chatting on the phone. Please, give me some advice!
Also, most of the cell phones here are pre-paid, and it costs about a dollar per minute... maybe slightly less. I am extremely poor. Should I text her instead?
Thanks!
I attend a bi-weekly class at a "local" vet school for a sea turtle nesting project. There are many women in this class, but the first week one caught my eye. I didn't think anything of it though, mostly because many women catch my eye. This week (last night's class) this girl sat right across the aisle from me. Cool, but I didn't think anything of it. After the class we had some sea turtle tracking and tagging exercises in the back of the classroom. While I was looking at some of the tags, she is standing next to me. I made a joke and she laughed. A few minutes later, we were chatting and I find out a little bit about her. She also introduces herself to me. We chat a few minutes longer then finish up the exercises. Afterwards I start to leave, tell her it was nice to meet her and I'll see her next time. As I'm walking out of the classroom I hear "Hey Spacerobot!" And she's walking behind me. We chat as we walk towards the edge of campus. I find out that she has a car and she offers me a ride to town, which is out of her way, so I can catch a bus to my house (I suspect she would have given me a ride home, but I live on the opposite side of the island).
Anyway, were having a good chat about the type of stuff you talk about when you meet someone for the first time. She asks me if I've ever been to the strip, which is a stretch of road with a lot of bars. I told her I had not because I don't have a car. She tells me that sometime after her exams she'll take me out there and we can have a drink together. Nice! I think I was just asked out! We get to the bus stop, and I ask her if I can give her my number, and she reciprocates. We both say "bye" and "see you next class" then she heads back home.
So now it's the next day, and I have her number. I'm fairly positive she is interested. At what point do I call her? I know I'll see her for sure in two weeks at the next class. We already talked about going and getting a drink together after her exams are over in a couple weeks. If/When I call her, do I chat with her? Do I ask her on a date/confirm our plans? I'm awful at just chatting on the phone. Please, give me some advice!
Also, most of the cell phones here are pre-paid, and it costs about a dollar per minute... maybe slightly less. I am extremely poor. Should I text her instead?
Thanks!
spacerobot on
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Posts
Look, you said you were never great at chatting on the phone, but this can be pretty simple.
Sounds like you have plans to hit up the strip after exams are over, which is great. But do you have anything else you might like to do in her company? Something that isn't the strip?
Give her a call! "Hey, I know we talked about going to the strip after exams, but I was just wondering if you'd like to <fill in the blanks here> next weekend."
Grab lunch, coffee, breakfast (an underrated date activity)....that kinda thing.
She came after you, you both swapped number and really, there is no harm in asking!
Also, I only know of one island that has a sea turtle nesting project...where are you located cause it sure as hell isn't Naperville.
And don't text to ask someone out. Ever.
Edit: and if you're bad at chatting on the phone just call her up and ask her out.
It'll probably go like this:
You:"Hey, I know we talked about going to the strip after exams, but I was just wondering if you'd like to <fill in the blanks here> next weekend?"
Her: "Yeah, that sounds great!"
You: "Does [whatever time] sound good?"
Her: " Yep!"
You: Alrighty, cool! I gotta go do laundry right now (or whatever), so I gotta go, but I'll see you then! Bye!
Short and to the point with out the awkwardness of trying to hold a conversation over the phone.
Check out my art! Buy some prints!
She's my girlfriend now.
So yeah, go for it and good luck.
Definitely call instead of text, but only when you have something to invite her to do. Calling just to talk happens later after you know each other.
I suggest a mini-inexpensive-date to somewhere laid back, but interesting. While going out to the bars/clubs is fun, I don't think it's very good for the getting-to-know-you phase since it can be loud and difficult to talk to each other.
PSN: Beltaine-77 | Steam: beltane77 | Battle.net BadHaggis#1433
The only people I chat on the phone with are my parents because they live over 1000 miles away. Everyone else I talk to on the phone it's for a specific purpose. If I have a pressing need to chat with them I'll coordinate a get together.
You already know her, you already talked with her, and she already talked about going out. So there you go. She said you'd get a drink after exams because that's a common thing for people in classes to do -- take a test and then meet up at a bar to commiserate together. In your case, you don't want to wait until exams because that's boring. So you say "Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to hit up the strip, or maybe just meet up for coffee, this weekend instead of waiting until after exams. I'm free on [day you're free]; what do you say?"
If she says she's busy, then just be cool and say "that's cool that's cool, my [day you're free] just had some free time and I thought it'd be cool to meet up, but I'll see you in class on [day of class]."
Takes 2 minutes if you're shot down, at worst, and during the next class you can bring it up again. Since you're going to be seeing her during this class for a while I would suggest the "be friendly" approach -- as in, don't be pushy.
It's nice to hear that people don't typically expect to hold a conversation in this type of scenario. Just like some people can't stand public speaking, I can't stand talking on the phone (but I enjoy public speaking). It's something I've just got to get over, but am able to make calls when I have to.
It sure as hell isn't Naperville (thankfully). I'm living in the Federation of St. Kitts and Nevis, in the West Indies.
I'm a Peace Corps volunteer, which she is aware of. We're not allowed to drive vehicles, and I think it also alerted her to my financial situation (PC volunteers live in poverty). It also means I know the island better than she does and will give me the opportunity to show her some of the really cool places she probably doesn't know about.
edit: I shouldn't plan a date too far in advance, should I? What is typically acceptable?
Get coffee (/whatever simple meeting place you'd like). If things go well there, say, "Well I was thinking we could..."
Don't front load. If things don't go well it will force her (or you) to make an awkward excuse or, even worse, awkwardly keep going.
On the plus side, she was eager to tell me when her exams were finished and that she would love to get coffee and chat once they are over (in a couple weeks).
She also asked me if i was on facebook so she could add me and chat through that.
I guess this is a happy ending to the scenario? It certainly isn't a failure, but two weeks is a ways off. Oh well, I can wait.
Question about facebook: The majority of my current friends are women, and my wall is filled with posts from women. Some posts sarcastically describing my relationship with my female friends, which to the untrained eye, it may seem like I am in a relationship. An example of this might be "i love going halvsies on things! especially babies. but that's irrelevant. OR ISN'T IT?" Is this something I should worry about? Remove said posts? I don't want this girl to be scared off by my bold female friends.
Psh, you can always tell her that they're just fuckin' with you.
Be honest, up front, and once you hang out for the first few times I'd go out of my way to let her know that the friends on Facebook are just that, friends.