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Girl advice, of course

SacriliciousSacrilicious Registered User regular
edited February 2010 in Help / Advice Forum
So I met this really cute girl at a coffee shop. She seemed into me for the hour or so we talked, and I got her number. She gave me a nice long hug when she was leaving.

This happened Friday, and Saturday afternoon I send her a text asking if she wanted to hang out, and she said, "not tonight : )"

She seemed pretty eager to give me her number, and she was a lot of fun to be around, so I don't want to assume she's no longer interested.

How should I approach this business? I don't want to seem too eager, especially after I already asked to hang out, maybe too soon. Do I text her at some point and just ask how things are going? Do I call her up and just chat?

Normally I don't stress much about this kinda thing, but I don't wanna lose touch with this girl.

Sacrilicious on

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    billwillbillwill Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    Never text to ask a girl out.

    Call her later on and ask her out again. If she is "busy" again, I'd give up.

    billwill on
    I hate you and you hate me.
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    EshEsh Tending bar. FFXIV. Motorcycles. Portland, ORRegistered User regular
    edited February 2010
    So I met this really cute girl at a coffee shop. She seemed into me for the hour or so we talked, and I got her number. She gave me a nice long hug when she was leaving.

    This happened Friday, and Saturday afternoon I send her a text asking if she wanted to hang out, and she said, "not tonight : )"

    She seemed pretty eager to give me her number, and she was a lot of fun to be around, so I don't want to assume she's no longer interested.

    How should I approach this business? I don't want to seem too eager, especially after I already asked to hang out, maybe too soon. Do I text her at some point and just ask how things are going? Do I call her up and just chat?

    Normally I don't stress much about this kinda thing, but I don't wanna lose touch with this girl.

    Think of something to do with her. Wait till Monday or Tuesday (since you JUST texted her). CALL. Do NOT text.

    Esh on
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    DeebaserDeebaser on my way to work in a suit and a tie Ahhhh...come on fucking guyRegistered User regular
    edited February 2010
    call her. ask if she's free for coffee on "X".

    Deebaser on
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    ZombiemamboZombiemambo Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    So I met this really cute girl at a coffee shop. She seemed into me for the hour or so we talked, and I got her number. She gave me a nice long hug when she was leaving.

    This happened Friday, and Saturday afternoon I send her a text asking if she wanted to hang out, and she said, "not tonight : )"

    She seemed pretty eager to give me her number, and she was a lot of fun to be around, so I don't want to assume she's no longer interested.

    How should I approach this business? I don't want to seem too eager, especially after I already asked to hang out, maybe too soon. Do I text her at some point and just ask how things are going? Do I call her up and just chat?

    Normally I don't stress much about this kinda thing, but I don't wanna lose touch with this girl.

    Really? Come on man, maybe she's honestly not available. Call her in a day or two, chat a bit and then ask her out.

    Zombiemambo on
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    SacriliciousSacrilicious Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    What if I call her and she doesn't pick up? Should I just give up if she doesn't return my call?

    Sacrilicious on
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    ZombiemamboZombiemambo Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    No! People have lives, you know. :? She might not even be there. Sheesh, calm down.

    Zombiemambo on
    JKKaAGp.png
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    EshEsh Tending bar. FFXIV. Motorcycles. Portland, ORRegistered User regular
    edited February 2010
    What if I call her and she doesn't pick up? Should I just give up if she doesn't return my call?

    Leave her a message then. Ball is in her court. Stop spazzing.

    Esh on
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    ZombiemamboZombiemambo Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    She definitely sounds interested. First of all, you talked for an hour after you met in a coffee house. If she didn't like you, she mostly likely wouldn't have done that. Then she gave you a hug. She definitely wouldn't do that if she wasn't interested, or didn't care about you in some form. And when you asked her out, she responded in a very kind, open-ended way. You shouldn't be discouraged in the least, but you have to understand that she has a life outside of your little meeting and you're going to be working around it.

    Zombiemambo on
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    DodgeBlanDodgeBlan PSN: dodgeblanRegistered User regular
    edited February 2010
    wait at least two days then call her then ask her out. If she doesn't answer, call again in an hour. If she doesn't answer or call you back after the second call give up. These are the rules.

    DodgeBlan on
    Read my blog about AMERICA and THE BAY AREA

    https://medium.com/@alascii
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    EshEsh Tending bar. FFXIV. Motorcycles. Portland, ORRegistered User regular
    edited February 2010
    DodgeBlan wrote: »
    wait at least two days then call her then ask her out. If she doesn't answer, call again in an hour. If she doesn't answer or call you back after the second call give up. These are the rules.

    Who doesn't have voicemail in this day and age? There's no reason to call an hour later.

    Esh on
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    mythagomythago Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    What they all said. Don't overthink this. You call, ask if she would like to go out for coffee, offer a choice of times so you don't bump into her schedule. I don't mean sound desperate, just something like "I'd really like to meet you for coffee, I've got Tuesday evening, Thursday lunch and most of Saturday, if you're free."

    If she can't make any of those times BUT offers a counterproposal ("gee, I'm at my grandma's all week but how about next Friday?") you're good. If she just says no, or no, not this time, forget it.

    mythago on
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    JansonJanson Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    Esh wrote: »
    DodgeBlan wrote: »
    wait at least two days then call her then ask her out. If she doesn't answer, call again in an hour. If she doesn't answer or call you back after the second call give up. These are the rules.

    Who doesn't have voicemail in this day and age? There's no reason to call an hour later.

    I, for one, never listen to my voicemail. I always figure if something's important, they'll call again.

    I like mythago's advice. Offer a selection of evenings when you are free.

    Janson on
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    SacriliciousSacrilicious Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    Thanks for the advice / encouragement guys, I've got a glass ego. I'll call in a day or two and see how things go.

    Sacrilicious on
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    rfaliasrfalias Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    Janson wrote: »
    Esh wrote: »
    DodgeBlan wrote: »
    wait at least two days then call her then ask her out. If she doesn't answer, call again in an hour. If she doesn't answer or call you back after the second call give up. These are the rules.

    Who doesn't have voicemail in this day and age? There's no reason to call an hour later.

    I, for one, never listen to my voicemail. I always figure if something's important, they'll call again.

    I like mythago's advice. Offer a selection of evenings when you are free.

    rofl that's a ridiculous policy... Most people leave a message if it's important....

    rfalias on
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    mechaThormechaThor Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    This is all good advice. But as stated if she flakes or bails after the second attempt, I would put it behind you and get over it. Of course if she ends up making contact with you and attempts to set something up you should do it, but otherwise, yeah.

    As for the calling back an hour later debate, I would definitely leave a message instead. Seeing as its been made relatively clear that any contact with her would entail you asking her out (since you both seemed to vibe off each other), I'm pretty sure she would understand this and listen to the message and/or just call back. Calling back a second time just seems desperate in my opinion.

    mechaThor on
    "I sent an e-mail asking why wood elves get +2 Str when other dwarves did not. My response from customer service consisted of five words: 'Wood elves are really strong.' "
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    SacriliciousSacrilicious Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    That's kind of what I was thinking. Was wondering if I should leave a message or not, so that helps

    Sacrilicious on
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    DodgeBlanDodgeBlan PSN: dodgeblanRegistered User regular
    edited February 2010
    I personally wouldn't leave a message. You will probably sound lamer and more akward asking a messagebank out. I would just call back once in a couple of hours, she might have been busy or something.

    And if she doesn't answer the second time, she has two missed calls in her phone recently after she gave some guy her number. She will know it was you, and will call you back if she wants to.

    DO NOT call her more than twice.

    DodgeBlan on
    Read my blog about AMERICA and THE BAY AREA

    https://medium.com/@alascii
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    ihmmyihmmy Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    My vote is yes, leave a message. If someone doesn't leave me a message, I assume it's not that important and they'll just call back. Messages are nice, they clarify why you're calling and give the opportunity for the called person to call you back, with more to discuss than "um, hey, you called?"

    ihmmy on
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    Sir CarcassSir Carcass I have been shown the end of my world Round Rock, TXRegistered User regular
    edited February 2010
    DodgeBlan wrote: »
    I personally wouldn't leave a message. You will probably sound lamer and more akward asking a messagebank out.

    No, don't ask her out over a message. Just say, "Hey, this is <guy from coffee shop>. Give me a call whenever you get this.", then when she calls back, do some small talk and then ask her out. If she doesn't call you back, move on.

    Sir Carcass on
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    hawkboxhawkbox Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    What Carcass said.

    Then Shag her, tell her it meant nothing, and shag her again. ;)

    Or marry her, depending on how much you are trying to freak yourself out about this.

    hawkbox on
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    SimpsoniaSimpsonia Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    Whatever you do, don't ever do this.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0PUrNwvvBk

    Simpsonia on
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    SacriliciousSacrilicious Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    Just an update, I called, went to voicemail, so i waited and she called me back. Said we could hang out the weekend after next. She also mentioned she just bought a bong so that's a bonus?

    Sacrilicious on
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    rfaliasrfalias Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    Just an update, I called, went to voicemail, so i waited and she called me back. Said we could hang out the weekend after next. She also mentioned she just bought a bong so that's a bonus?

    If you are in to that it's a bonus.
    Would be a huge turn-off for me *shrug*

    rfalias on
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    DixonDixon Screwed...possibly doomed CanadaRegistered User regular
    edited February 2010
    That is a bonus...awesome dude

    Dixon on
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    mere_immortalmere_immortal So tasty!Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    If you smoke too it can be a fantastic social activity.

    mere_immortal on
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    DodgeBlanDodgeBlan PSN: dodgeblanRegistered User regular
    edited February 2010
    OMG POT ALL ABOARD THE JUDGEMENT TRAIN

    no wait a minute. This thread had a happy ending. Congratulations.

    Penny Arcade, nay, the world, could do with more endings like this

    DodgeBlan on
    Read my blog about AMERICA and THE BAY AREA

    https://medium.com/@alascii
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    bikkibikkibobikkibikkibo Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    You could always run into the situation where she cannot carry a conversation when she's stoned, which can be a problem. I typically won't smoke with a girl on a first date. I am typically a talker when I smoke, but i've met plenty of people who don't say shit and that can make for awkward times on a first date.

    bikkibikkibo on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    THEPAIN73THEPAIN73 Shiny. Real shiny.Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    Thanks for the update OP.

    She seems nice and into you.

    Mission accomplished.

    THEPAIN73 on
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    MalkorMalkor Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    You could always run into the situation where she cannot carry a conversation when she's stoned, which can be a problem. I typically won't smoke with a girl on a first date. I am typically a talker when I smoke, but i've met plenty of people who don't say shit and that can make for awkward times on a first date.

    Not just awkward, depending on the person and their experiences it could freak them out. Save the ganja for after you hang out for a bit and make sure you don't overdo it.

    If that's your thing of course.

    Malkor on
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    bikkibikkibobikkibikkibo Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    Malkor wrote: »
    You could always run into the situation where she cannot carry a conversation when she's stoned, which can be a problem. I typically won't smoke with a girl on a first date. I am typically a talker when I smoke, but i've met plenty of people who don't say shit and that can make for awkward times on a first date.

    Not just awkward, depending on the person and their experiences it could freak them out. Save the ganja for after you hang out for a bit and make sure you don't overdo it.

    If that's your thing of course.

    Agreed. I remember having a second date with this girl and afterward we just sat in her car and listened to music for like an hour while we were blazed outta our minds. I talked to her about it later and no, she wasn't waiting for me to make a move - she was just really high.

    bikkibikkibo on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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    DryesiasDryesias Registered User regular
    edited February 2010
    Success. Go you.

    Glad I waited to read the entire thread before adding my advice, was tempted to respond before I saw that everything went well.

    Dryesias on
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