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Mirroring personalities?
MindLib
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Sometimes I find myself mirroring personalities. For instance, when I'm on the phone with someone I'll use their vernacular and tone of voice when I recognize who they are, almost automatically. I think it disturbs people, but I'm not sure how not to do it. I find myself cringing afterward, thinking; goddamn, did I just use the phrase 'okie-dokie'? Is this a psychological problem, or is it relatively normal?
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I was working a month-long run with a tech from Cork and realised that by the end of the first day, I was mimicking his accent and speech patterns
He never mentioned it though, so I'm hoping he didn't notice/wasn't offended.
Just make sure you aren't crossing the line into mockery. Unless it's really funny.
Fun fact, it works both ways. if you dislike someone you tend to unconciously display it by talking less like them.
Wow that's really interesting. Think I'll google up 'convergence'.
I also feel that I do this quite often--but sometimes it can be important to keep in mind how more acute these changes seem to you than to the people you are interacting with.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
I actually do this with IM conversations, which is what made me aware of it. My usual grammar is pretty strict, but I have one friend who rarely capitalizes and avoids punctuation at all costs. Sometimes I think part of the reason I like talking to him is entirely because I can relax and not give a shit.
That's human interaction 101 right there. Speech + body language mimicry between strangers is a huge indicator of attraction, willingness to cooperate, or just a sign of non-aggression.
OP: I know it's been said by many others already but everyone mimics to some degree. It's a good thing, part of typical social phenomena.
Edit: shit I just remembered that we're not allowed to mention pick-up artistry in here. I DO NOT RECOMMEND ACTUALLY USING THIS, I WAS SIMPLY ILLUSTRATING HOW POWERFUL CONVERGENCE IS.
this is a really good practice for job interviews though (convergence, not mimicking accents)
This is also pretty normal. My mother has a weird variation, though -- she doesn't copy the other person's accent, she just thickens her own.
When she's speaking to me or another close family member/friend, she barely has any accent at all; she has this very neutral, generically British accent with the mildest, slightest, whisper of Ulster in it. You wouldn't notice it unless it was pointed out to you.
When she's speaking with a stranger, however, her accent goes hilariously thick. She starts using expressions she'd never normally use. "Auk jizzus, hau ar ya luv? Aye I'm nat too bad mi'self."
All I can add is that it can be used for good, and obviously evil. I find myself doing it sort of consciously to have the person I'm speaking to let down their guard. Not as a PUA, but mostly as basic human interaction with people that I like or want to talk with.
I also am seeing when people do it to me, and it bothers me. So I start doing things and watch them mimic me, in ridiculous ways - and often times they don't know it....
Check out my art! Buy some prints!
I don't think it enters my speech, but after I watch or listen to stand-up comedy my mental voice uses the speech patterns and timing of the comedian. It is awesome.
....anyone?
Check out my art! Buy some prints!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gyef-BItce8
I do the toe tap, but with my finger nail, let's people know I'm thinking.
A friend and I have been doing basically what the OP is talking about for years. Thank god its natural because people just assume we're twins half the time because of how much we act like each other. It scares us too actually.
We also laugh at almost everything one another says, which disturbs and irritates my housemate to no end.
edit: By the way, I'm the same as the OP. Let me tell you, it can be frustrating when you move to Texas and within a week, to your horror, you find yourself saying "y'all" like you mean it.
The first time I ever met my British friend's British step-mother, I realized that I was losing the "stop imitating" battle, and doing a kind of half-British accent. Later, my friend told me that her stepmother asked her where I was from, after I left...
I also did that once to somebody at my old college who had a thick Jamaican accent. I accidently said "thank you" with his accent and, horrified, I tried to walk away really quickly, hoping he hadn't noticed...but he crossed his arms slowly and asked with a slight smile, "where are you from?"...he was a really nice guy though, and I apologized and admitted that I imitate accents when I hear them, without meaning to...and he had absolutely no problem with that. He said, "you confused me!!". :P
Ah man, and this too. Especially after watching a movie or reading a book like Pride and Prejudice. :P I totally mimic the speech pattern in period dramas.
To the OP - I really, really wouldn't worry about it. If you feel bad if you start doing it, and the person notices, sometimes I've found it de-stressing to just flat-out tell the person: "btw, I do this thing with mimicking accents when I hear them, without meaning to" and people have seemed perfectly understanding about it.
TL;DR - Men like to talk like berks, Women like toffs.
For example after reading some Proust, I tend to dwell on particular things in conversations, sometimes being more inquisitive than usual. Surprisingly it has in the past spiced things up if I start to get deep into conversations that sends people into thinking about things they tend to overlook.
Edit: didn't see your post up there Spacemilk, glad I'm not the only one. And yes I found my thought patterns really irksome after I read Naked Lunch for the first time.
Schlitz!
Given this is a topic about speech and language, I cannot help myself.
THE WORD YOU ARE LOOKING FOR IS "LOSE"
Loose relates to TIGHTNESS
Lose relates to POSSESSION
I swear that mistake is a cancer infecting the internet.
xbl - HowYouGetAnts
steam - WeAreAllGeth
That's impressive. I never really thought of a laugh as something that could be controlled without sounding fake.