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High School Drama
hoganman22
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
So. I am a senior in high-school, I'm a bit distant and i don't particularly care for the advice my friends give me, which is why I would like to ask you guys for your advice. I have one or two dilemnas, but ill start with the basic: Ex-Girlfriend.
So I was recently asked to Sweet Sixteen* by my ex from awhiles back, I had said no and said that, "It's not that I don't want to go with you, it's that I don't want to go at all", which was a lie. I didn't want to go with her, because she's my ex girlfriend and I really didnt want t spark an old flame, which we did, a lot. (Highschoolers, amirite?)
Recently, ex-gf had been bothering me about something, so I went off on her and told her the truth, that I didn't actually want to go to sweet sixteen with her because she was an "Expletive", along with a couple other things i had bottled up. I had been pissed off about my brother riding my ass for some obscure thing, and my parents getting on my case. I know it was teenage angst, but just because you know your pissed, doesn't mean you're going to stop being pissed. She got mad/sad/hormonal, and did what every angry teenage girl does: defriended me on facebook, sent me an angry text and bitched about me to her friends, so I got cold shoulder for awhile from a lot of girls. Today, in the only class we have together, she walked in and was crying, not crying, rather bawling. I felt bad. I thought about it for a second, why she would be crying, and asked a friend of hers, if it was about her friend who had leukemia. I suppose now would be a good time to tell you that this ex- girlfriend of mine has/had(not sure if she's still alive) a family friend that was/is sick with leukemia. The friend is about 14 years old and has lived in a hospital for the past year, she talks about her and visits her alot. Anywho, her friend just nodded, and I didn't want to pry, so I sat around like a dumbass twiddling my thumbs until I couldn't stand it and I walked over, apologised, and hugged her. She was happy and later came over to my house with a cupcake and a hug. She started talking to me about cuddling and how her cat doesn't suffice. I know this is her coy way of asking for me to try and get her back, and I really dont want to go back to her but I can't say precisely NO, because, OH YEAH she's also slightly masochistic and was a cutter when I first dated her. I feel she'll relapse if I straight out rebuked her, but I can't go on with a charade of acting interested.
TL;DR: Crazy ex gf's bff died of cancer and I feel guilty for giving her false hopes of a relationship.
(end of problem one, beginning of problem 2)
*Where I live sweet sixteen is one large formal dress party hosted by the 11th grade girls and their parents in a hotel ball room. It sounds droll but it's really just a big dance party with chaperones.
One of my friends, let's call him David, is a really cool guy, but he's also quite a player. No one really KNOWS that he's a player, which is why he's so damn good at what he does. I envy his ability I'm not going to lie, and I hate that I can't be so cool around women. Dave likes to "keep tabs" on at least 3 or 4 girls at a time, meaning that he manages them into time zones and what-not and makes sure that the each girl doesnt know about the other 3. I don't mind him doing this because he usually does his "macking" outside of our school and away from the normal people I hang around with. I don't know how recently, but dave has begun a tryst sort of thing with a girl who i know, and I have a crush on, let us call her Mavery. Now I really don't want to meddle, and I know Mavery is a smart girl, but she has no idea what she's getting into. She's fairly innocent, she focuses a lot on school-work and never really gets out a lot and shes younger than us, just by a year, but still. She isn't a good friend of mine, just someone who I think is interesting and cute. I feel like I'm only seeing that I have a problem with this because I like her and I'm jealous of Dave. I know she likes him, and I bet you she thinks he likes her just as much. I think I should tell her, warn her, do something, but I know it won't be good in the long run. Seeing as how I'm a senior in high-school and I most likely won't be seeing these people for awhile, I might risk my friendship with Dave to save Mavery from being used.
TL;DR: I like a girl but my friends a complete douche and is going to run train on her and ruin her innocence if someone doesn't do something.
I'm not entirely sure, but this is stuff I can't share with my friends or family, or anyone I can really think of, so i confide in you, internet savvy beings of the mysterious forums, PLEASE FOR GODS SAKES HELP ME GET THROUGH MY LAST SEMESTER OF HIGHSCHOOL.
EDIT: I apologise for typos, errors, and the like.
So I was recently asked to Sweet Sixteen* by my ex from awhiles back, I had said no and said that, "It's not that I don't want to go with you, it's that I don't want to go at all", which was a lie. I didn't want to go with her, because she's my ex girlfriend and I really didnt want t spark an old flame, which we did, a lot. (Highschoolers, amirite?)
Recently, ex-gf had been bothering me about something, so I went off on her and told her the truth, that I didn't actually want to go to sweet sixteen with her because she was an "Expletive", along with a couple other things i had bottled up. I had been pissed off about my brother riding my ass for some obscure thing, and my parents getting on my case. I know it was teenage angst, but just because you know your pissed, doesn't mean you're going to stop being pissed. She got mad/sad/hormonal, and did what every angry teenage girl does: defriended me on facebook, sent me an angry text and bitched about me to her friends, so I got cold shoulder for awhile from a lot of girls. Today, in the only class we have together, she walked in and was crying, not crying, rather bawling. I felt bad. I thought about it for a second, why she would be crying, and asked a friend of hers, if it was about her friend who had leukemia. I suppose now would be a good time to tell you that this ex- girlfriend of mine has/had(not sure if she's still alive) a family friend that was/is sick with leukemia. The friend is about 14 years old and has lived in a hospital for the past year, she talks about her and visits her alot. Anywho, her friend just nodded, and I didn't want to pry, so I sat around like a dumbass twiddling my thumbs until I couldn't stand it and I walked over, apologised, and hugged her. She was happy and later came over to my house with a cupcake and a hug. She started talking to me about cuddling and how her cat doesn't suffice. I know this is her coy way of asking for me to try and get her back, and I really dont want to go back to her but I can't say precisely NO, because, OH YEAH she's also slightly masochistic and was a cutter when I first dated her. I feel she'll relapse if I straight out rebuked her, but I can't go on with a charade of acting interested.
TL;DR: Crazy ex gf's bff died of cancer and I feel guilty for giving her false hopes of a relationship.
(end of problem one, beginning of problem 2)
*Where I live sweet sixteen is one large formal dress party hosted by the 11th grade girls and their parents in a hotel ball room. It sounds droll but it's really just a big dance party with chaperones.
One of my friends, let's call him David, is a really cool guy, but he's also quite a player. No one really KNOWS that he's a player, which is why he's so damn good at what he does. I envy his ability I'm not going to lie, and I hate that I can't be so cool around women. Dave likes to "keep tabs" on at least 3 or 4 girls at a time, meaning that he manages them into time zones and what-not and makes sure that the each girl doesnt know about the other 3. I don't mind him doing this because he usually does his "macking" outside of our school and away from the normal people I hang around with. I don't know how recently, but dave has begun a tryst sort of thing with a girl who i know, and I have a crush on, let us call her Mavery. Now I really don't want to meddle, and I know Mavery is a smart girl, but she has no idea what she's getting into. She's fairly innocent, she focuses a lot on school-work and never really gets out a lot and shes younger than us, just by a year, but still. She isn't a good friend of mine, just someone who I think is interesting and cute. I feel like I'm only seeing that I have a problem with this because I like her and I'm jealous of Dave. I know she likes him, and I bet you she thinks he likes her just as much. I think I should tell her, warn her, do something, but I know it won't be good in the long run. Seeing as how I'm a senior in high-school and I most likely won't be seeing these people for awhile, I might risk my friendship with Dave to save Mavery from being used.
TL;DR: I like a girl but my friends a complete douche and is going to run train on her and ruin her innocence if someone doesn't do something.
I'm not entirely sure, but this is stuff I can't share with my friends or family, or anyone I can really think of, so i confide in you, internet savvy beings of the mysterious forums, PLEASE FOR GODS SAKES HELP ME GET THROUGH MY LAST SEMESTER OF HIGHSCHOOL.
EDIT: I apologise for typos, errors, and the like.
hoganman22 on
0
Posts
Either ask the new crush out or get out of the way.
that's why we call it the struggle, you're supposed to sweat
this. Don't do the bullshit highschool "well but..." just listen.
No more contact is the only way to deal with this if you actually want to be rid of that.
So call someone to get her help, you're not a shrink and aren't equipped to handle that.
Problem 2: Sounds like you are jealous of your buddy. Sorry bud, but you should have moved faster if you liked this girl. If you REALLY like her I guess you could talk to your buddy about it but only if you plan on following up on it. There will be plenty of other girls in life but few good friends. All you're going to do is alienate yourself from your friend/friends.
I don't really want to get into, I haven't had any experience with cutters, but from all that I have read here, the only thing you can really do is suggest help. It's not your problem really.
Problem #2
If this guy is your bro, don't talk to her, talk to him. Really, if he is a good friend, he'd probably understand. Or maybe not, I don't know him. But you do, and you say he's your friend. Friends don't usually look for ways to hurt other friends. And talking to her is a quick way of making him not your friend.
The biggest thing to take away from all of this is that not a lot of really matters anyways. Of all the people I hung out with in high school, I think I talk to 10, and about half of them are family. Even the really shitty things that happened in high school get laughed at now, even though it was the end of the world then. I know reading this for probably the umpteenth time doesn't really do you any good, (it didn't do me any good when I was there), but honestly, high school, at least in a social way, in not way carries on with you when you are done, unless you let it.
High school drama is just that - high school. You have half a semester left? Enjoy it. Don't sweat the small stuff, have fun with your friends when you are all still hanging out for 6 hours a day, and get some good memories. Cause really, all the rest of that drama is just going to be laughable.
okay, listen to me. My boyfriend (of nearly 6 years now) had a girlfriend right before me who was a cutter and who kept guilting him into a relationship with that stupid high school bullshit. don't fall for it! if she hurts herself, that is her own problem, you can't be her crutch forever, and it makes you look like a fool.
what my man had to do eventually was just stop talking to her. he wanted to talk to her because he is a nice guy and felt bad, but it caused too much shit, seriously. and I almost left his ass for being such a dumbass regarding her and trying to be her crutch after she used and abused him.
So, stop. Just stop talking to her. Tell her (if you must) that you're just not interested, and stop talking to her, and stick to it!
As for the girl you like, make a move or get out of the way. If you think your friend will be receptive, tell him you like her and want to make a move, and if he is a good friend he'll understand (if he is such a player as you claim, he shouldn't mind having a bit of competition.)
also stop being a goddamn white knight.
2 - Just ask her out.
If you're just jealous and sabotaging him because you like her and you resent him, that's easily solved. Ask her out or let it go. There's no point silently pining for someone.
ITT future murder-suicide victim
2)
Tell girls 1 through 4 about each other, let them tear him a new one. You don't have to worry about retribution from Dave because of 1)
2) I say tell your buddy you dig the girl and see what he does. If he says he likes her too, then you just gotta bow out, he moved first. If he says he doesn't, hopefully he'll let you try your luck.
This. The friends you had in high school are the friends you had from the choices at hand. The friends you have in college are your friends for life.
Second issue, man, fuck that guy. If you like the girl and want to make a move, go for it. And definitely use his own bad behaviour against him.
It's highschool, you will never see these people again after you graduate.
Very few people continue contact. You might try, but real life just takes over. Hell even friends from college I hardly keep in contact with.
Just finish school and meet real people that aren't immature and have a purpose in life besides "Oh man check out me and my bitches, everyone thinks I'm so popular. Too bad I'll be bagging groceries for the rest of my life"
Walk away buddy.
Just graduate and move on dude
2) Talk to your friend, if you're not going to ask this girl out AT LEAST ask him to respect her.
Seriously, it isn't even worth thinking about - a year from now you'll feel very silly about this whole thing.
#2) Guy is a douchebag. If you value your friendship, tell him you'd like a chance at this one because you want a real relationship. This is assuming that you're actually going to pursue her and that you're actually interested. Otherwise, who gives a shit. Let them do what they want. Your life is going to change drastically over the next several years. This is just small potatoes in the grand scheme of things.