The new forums will be named Coin Return (based on the most recent vote)! You can check on the status and timeline of the transition to the new forums here.
The Guiding Principles and New Rules document is now in effect.
Condom Sex
Willeh Dee
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Iv recently started sleeping with a girl fairly regularly, only im having some issues with not being able to sustain an erection, and considering im 20 years old, this is quite a problem I think.
I think the main issue is using condoms, I got used to, with my ex, not having to use them cause she was on the Pill so it wasn't a worry, we stared off useing condoms and I didnt have any problems back then, but now I seem to with them, to the point where I can have sex with one on, just...
Its quite the effort and the concentrating on so much on staying hard and feeling pleasure down there myself that my performance is suffering. I all ways thought i was pretty good in bed, but not with this new girl and the problem. When we stop to put one on I loose it, if I do manage to keep it going, the sensation down there is so little, unless im focusing purely on my pleasure, it goes soft whilst inside, and the idea of changing position halfway through is a no go cause it literally wont stay up that long
I thought id found a solution by moving to the Durex elites, the thin ones, but alas whilst it makes things better, im still no where near myself.
Now im guessing some of its to do with it being a new girl and nerves and stuff, and then worrying about it when its actually going on etc etc, but, I dunno, any advice would be much appreciated.
TL'DR - Condoms suck
I think the main issue is using condoms, I got used to, with my ex, not having to use them cause she was on the Pill so it wasn't a worry, we stared off useing condoms and I didnt have any problems back then, but now I seem to with them, to the point where I can have sex with one on, just...
Its quite the effort and the concentrating on so much on staying hard and feeling pleasure down there myself that my performance is suffering. I all ways thought i was pretty good in bed, but not with this new girl and the problem. When we stop to put one on I loose it, if I do manage to keep it going, the sensation down there is so little, unless im focusing purely on my pleasure, it goes soft whilst inside, and the idea of changing position halfway through is a no go cause it literally wont stay up that long
I thought id found a solution by moving to the Durex elites, the thin ones, but alas whilst it makes things better, im still no where near myself.
Now im guessing some of its to do with it being a new girl and nerves and stuff, and then worrying about it when its actually going on etc etc, but, I dunno, any advice would be much appreciated.
TL'DR - Condoms suck
Willeh Dee on
0
Posts
Do you guys do any oral play? For me having my girl go down on me then put the condom on keeps me rock hard. Also the spit inside the condom will keep it more lubricated, which could make it feel beter for you. You could also put some of your own lube on your penis then put the comdom over it.
The lubricated condoms dont seem to have the same effect to me though FYI.
(I am not talking about platinum and diamonds here)
fairly regularly?
'cause that might have an effect on your libedo as well, so if its often, cut it out and try then.
condoms do take away the sensitivity, which is a sad thing
safe > sorry
but i'ma hypocrite and rarely use one myself
The only advise I have is Beyond7 condoms. Their the closest you'll get to being raw that I know of.
You have to somehow not think about it.
I've had this problem before too. The only thing that has ever worked for me is keeping my mind off of it, and doing everything I can to allow her to arouse me.
Tis one of the sucky things about condoms.
Also, even some of the ultra thin or extra sensitive condoms can sometimes contain a chemical that desensitizes the penis, allowing sex to go longer, it starts with "Benz", but I can't remember the name, you should avoid these condoms at all cost.
Wearing a condom will decrease the sensitivity and feeling, but there is a solution. Local adult video stores/toy stores sell creams to make you more sensitive, if you have a problem sustaining an erection or ejaculating and also have pills/creams to keep you erect. Conversely, they also have creams to keep you from being too sensitive and ejaculating too quickly. This is only a temporary solution at best, until you and your partner trust each other and progress to that next step.
The best advice I can give is just to relax and let it flow, keep the condoms nearby and try not to make a produciton out of it. Also, you may want to cut down on your masturbation or start masturbating with a condom on, as was already suggested.
---edited for grammar
Also, you can try doing exercises for your PC muscles and doing regular cardio to make sure your circulation is strong.
I agree with the opinion that if you plan on using condoms, don't ever stop using them.
It's the exact opposite of bicycles. Once you stop, you'll never be able to pick it back up.
Don't get me wrong, Iv asked her to go on the Pill, but the pull out method simply makes me cringe, the condoms are right by the bed and as soon as we get to the stage where were in the position for me to go in, I stop, put a condom on, and try and get back to where i was quickly enough that I stay hard, or at least hard enough. Its horrible for me to be honest, the idea theres this hot girl and your in between her legs, only to have your penis go down rather than up has to be one of the worst feelings ever.
Ill look out for this Benz ingredient, im guna try the feather light ones next I think because the elites might not be as thin. Wankings stopped full time for now which is making me horny as hell and severely frustrated, especially as I cant see this girl as often as id like to.
As far as her going on the pill, aside from the obvious of me telling her ill come with her to the Dr's when she asks to go on it, is there anything else I can do to ease her feelings on it, I think she worried her parents will find out shes taking it or something, which I believe is a no no, or at least she doesn't want her parents knowing she isn't quite the angel she lets on.
Make it like foreplay. If its not so, routine. It might be more arousing. Even if it doesn't work the first time. Try to make it into a game, a sex game mind you.
Also, this same erectile problem happened to me once. I was in a bad sate for literally one time. Then I did what everyone here suggested, don't think about it. Yes, easier said then done. The real answer...
Think about the times you had a rock hard cock from hell, bent on the destruction of life as we know it.
Helps for me...
Not that I ever have this problem.....
Baby I swear its the first time....
Also you might want to give polyeurythane condoms a try (trojan Supra's > Durex Avanti IMO). They warm to body heat much faster and are not damaged by many of the lubricants that destroy latex... so you can use that stuff inside the condom to increase sensation.
Best advice I can give you on condom sex is to have her on top, and rocking her hips hard. This should hit the area under the head of the penis that's super sensitive. If you keep this up, eventually you should orgasm, baring any unresolved mental blocks.
All sexual lubricants are water-based, not petroleum (which is what destroys the latex). They do nothing to the condom.
Though, I always recommend polyurethane condoms for the same reason--they do feel a lot better than latex.
No kidding. Sex for an hour and a half to 2 hours, while great, is tiring as hell. And even then, its not a guaranteed ejaculation.
For the first 2 years of my sexual life with my wife we didn't use a condom, but due to birth control issues we moved to condoms. The only thing that got me to stay hard was having her put it on unexpectedly. While you two are in the foreplay stage hand her the condom and tell her to put it on you, but to be random about. Plus this will put the control in her hands and some woman absolutely love that kind of control.
And then after a while you get used to the feel and are able to put it on yourself. The added bonus to this though, is that once you go back to not using a condom, sex feels so much better.
While you could do this, spermicide is much less effective, even when used properly, than a condom.
Secret Satan
If you get some water-based lube and lube up your entire penis then put on a thin condom, then lube up the entire condom, it increases the feeling like a MILLION times.
Not as good as raw but it's alot better.
Gah! Unwrapping condoms and then figuring out which end is which SUCKS. Definitely do that before hand.
Also, oral is very good for ED, as you don't need an erection to have an orgasm via oral. Maybe have her give you oral through the condom she just put on you? This might get you past some mental blocks about condom=no orgasm.
just an idea, I don't have experience wearing a condom to help you out.
Ever since I met my wife I have not used condoms, she had her tubes tied so pregnancy was not an issue and neither of us had multiple partners or any STDs.
That said, I did have a short period where I started failing to get an erection. Or more to the point, I was losing it as the exact wrong moment. Similar to your problem but without the condom complication.
What really was happening is that I had a physical problem ONCE, and then mentally I sabotaged myself for a week and a half. It only has to happen once, and then you freaking cannot NOT think about it. And once you do, down goes the ship. Sex is extremely mental.
What got me over it was that we stopped deciding to have sex and instead just 'played around'. Basically extended foreplay with no expectation of sex on either side. After a few times having orgasm again with her but without penetration the mental block dissolved.
This does not take into effect your condom issue of course. Best suggestion I have is put that in her hands so you don't have to think about that.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
MMOG Comic, Quests, and News. www.thebrasse.com
Thanks guys, you've all been a real good help in confirming that I aint got problems down there (which i was worried about), and it is a common condom conundrum.