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Gay things to do in NYC
Deebaser
on my way to work in a suit and a tieAhhhh...come on fucking guyRegistered User regular
on my way to work in a suit and a tieAhhhh...come on fucking guyRegistered User regular
My gay roommate had a relationship explode this weekend and is in the motherfucking dumps right now. My girlfriend and I want to take him out for some fun to settle his mind and calm him down. He's into 'bears', can't stand 'twinks' and is pushing 30 so the kiddie clubs are out.
Any recommendations?
Any recommendations?
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My thoughts exactly, but maybe the OP is specifically looking for a "bear bar" or something?
Your snark (witty as you think it is) isn't very helpful. I'm looking for cool places that he can meet dudes. I didn't think I had to spell that out in the OP.
And this is also probably going to blow your mind, but there might be some gay dudes at those other places.
GAY PEOPLE AND STRAIGHT PEOPLE LIKE DIFFERENT THINGS (MENS BUTTS BEING A PRIME EXAMPLE)
https://medium.com/@alascii
You're better off including him in things like going out for a bit to eat, going out to the movies, game night, etc. This is what Metal was getting at, but, was a bit snarky with it.
I host a podcast about movies.
I don't think you should generalize your own experiences with relationships to this. I don't know much about gay culture to be truthful, but I remember reading up somewhere a study that found many gay men perceive sex somewhat differently than straight men and are more open and 'not a big deal' about it.
I don't know if OP's friend falls under that category but I figure OP probably knows him better than we do so if this is the sort of thing he's asking for then it's worth considering OP isn't being insensitive but is rather being more sensitive to cultural differences (would that be the word?) than we are.
That's a pretty gay time.
Seriously though, I wouldn't advocate the rebound fling unless that's how he usually gets over break ups. Try just getting out, like everyone else has said.
If he likes showtunes. there's a bar in the west village called Marie's Crisis that has a piano player and a singalong every night. On the weekend it is full of straight girls on bachelorette parties, but on a wednesday or thursday it is quieter and has a wide age range of gay men singing their fool heads off.
You do realize that you just inferred that gay men are all promiscuous? Speaking of generalizations...
It sounds like the OP is planning on surprising the roommate. Maybe he should just say "Hey. How's it going? Wanna go somewhere tonight? You pick."
That is the GAYEST time if it's anything like the Eagles in Portland and Seattle.
Most people, regardless of sexual preference, would prefer not to get wasted/hook up/go to strip clubs/bars but do so out of anguish and depression about the event.
I was speaking to from my relative naïveness of my gay friends and what they prefer. People are still people and some people think of sex as fucking, and some think of it as making love. The absolute best way, in my experience with both gay and straight friends, to get them past a bad breakup is to do what they like to do. If they like to play tennis, take them to the park and play some motherfucking tennis.
I guess if your friend likes gay bars, more power to them, but I can't think of anyone in my life that has said, "Fuck yeah one night stands are a blast and I really don't regret decisions like this!" Besides married-CEOs, but they're not human anyways.
It's not just like them, it's the original of them.
I don't know NY City all that well, but I imagine just wandering about Chelsea for a bit might lead to an entertaining night anyway. I was not aware of its neighborhood's reputation last time I was there, and accidentally walked into a gay S&M bar while looking for an Italian restaurant. It was awkward.
OMG. You aren't kidding lol. Judging by the NSFW website and yelp reviews, I think that joint is a wee bit outside both our comfort ranges. We're young(ish) professional, white collar, j-crew wearing types.
I can understand the hesitation about rebounds and the like and I appreciate the concern, but my boy subscribes to the belief that "the best way to get over someone is to get on top of someone else". He is also terribly unmotivated right now, so it isn't so much a surprise as it is a "Dude. We're getting off the couch and going the fuck out." which has been done before to great success. He really got dicked over bad by a former mutual friend and simultaneously burned bridges with our circle of friends that includes the dudes that like other dudes.
Basically, I need to get him out of the "Im going to die alone" funk that he's worked himself into.
Marie's Crisis sounds like a good time. Neither of us are into showtunes, fuck it, pretend you're going 'ironically'. My company also has an LGBT networking happy hour that Im digging through my outlook to find the next event.
Thanks for the suggestions all.
You know what else gay people do? Spread AIDS right? That's the kind of stupid thinking that perpetuates stupid myths. They are normal people, that look for normal relationships. I can rattle off more straight friends that are into promiscuity than the gay friends. Does that mean that straight people or gay people are more likely to sleep around? No.
They're people like me and you, they enjoy activities and doing things with friends like you or I do. If OP's friend wants to be taken out to meet people, that's fine. If the OP wants to help his friend get over a breakup, OP should stick to things that you'd do to help any person get over a breakup.
That is, do things with them, include them, have fun.
Not bring them to a gay-bar and hook them up with some hot stud bear. Unless the OP's friend specifies that.
If he's SAID he's on the prowl, then feel free to ignore my advice and gay it up.
Well, I'm a young, clean-cut professional / graduate student, and the two gay blokes I went with are both the same.
It was still a good time. People were really friendly (for a gay venue) and the music wasn't so loud that you have to scream to converse. The rooftop bar was great. Booze was "reasonably" priced for Manhattan.
Also, it's right next to Scores. Hello, clashing of worlds!
As long as you don't mind the leather daddies walking around..
Desperado ...
New Kid in Town ...
I guess the signs were there the whole time.
3DS FC: 4699-5714-8940 Playing Pokemon, add me! Ho, SATAN!
So they go out to bars for much the same reason straight guys do, except looking for dudes who are DTF rather than women. The Gay-Straight similarities continue, shockingly.
/sarcasm
Anyways, seems like you have it under control, taking him out places and just getting him active.
Wasn't aware this was a chain or whatever. There's one in San Diego too.
Wow, thats just offensive. I'm glad to know I'm completely different based on my sexual orientation. Thanks for being the SME for us gays though.
I would be more long-winded in this post, but I'm due to go have some more promiscuous sex with strangers. For what it's worth, in attempts to help your rash generalization, you find people interested in no-strings sex everywhere, homo and hetero communities. But hey, thanks for perpetuating this social stigma against the gay community!
Hi -- first time poster, a friend pointed me to this.
I don't think it is offensive. I'm a promiscuous gay male, and many/most of the gay men I've known in my life (even outside of the gay bars and clubs, where you'd expect a level of promiscuity) are too. It's pretty simple. Men want sex, there's no pretense, or concerns about a woman's virtues, or whatever, when two men want to do it.
Also, generalizations exist because they describe things that are generally true, not universally true. I think it is generally true that most guys are willing to whip it out on the first date, homo or hetero. Thing is, a lot of times, the partner doesn't really appreciate that on the straight side of things. On the gay side, there are rarely complaints (unless someone is a size queen). So, maybe there is an issue of semantics here: gay men aren't promiscious -- men are -- it's just that gay men get to act on it. But until you settle that issue, I'm still going to say that generally, gay men are promiscuous.
As to the OP, there's nothing quite like rebound sex (as long as he doesn't cry like a baby or babble about his ex). Take him for some drinks and leave him with a nice bear somewhere, if that's his cup of tea.
Way to be sexist.
Men can want love in a relationship without it boiling down to retarded levels of primal urges. Both sides of the fence share this, and both sides of the fence can have the type of people who use one night stands to get over it.
It's still pretty terrible advice to give. My only issue is that I used to think like you guys do and it's annoying me. If anyone was here back in 2004, you'll remember that.
I'm in a long(ish) term monogamous relationship right now. Were I single, I'd be getting around. Because I'm a guy, and I like sex. Like all normal guys.
Really, though, this is just how guys are. Its science.
It's not so much the promiscuity portion of his statement that I take offense to, it's the portion where he claims to stop saying that gays are "just like us" in reference to the hetero community. I'm exactly like "one of the guys" in every sense of the word, except one small factor--I like men. No you can't pick me out of a lineup based on appearance, personality, or social interaction as being gay. My sexuality doesn't define me, nor will it ever--my personality, integrity, and character do. I'm in a stable, loving relationship like many straight friends I have. I do the exact same job as many of my straight friends do. I frequent the same sporting events, bars, restaurants, stores, etc as many of my straight friends do. Telling me I'm not "just like you" purely based on one tiny factor that comprises me as an individual is offensive. The gay community deals with the same issues as the hetero community. We are all human beings, we're all the same. The sooner people realize that we're all the same, the sooner these childish antics of bigotry and prejudice can stop.
Generalizations really piss me off though, I don't care if you sleep around--it's not my business. I'm not going to judge you for it as it isn't my place or anyone elses place for that matter. However, you'd damned well better not place that label on me. My viewpoint on sex is different and I don't casually hop into bed with everyone I find sexually attractive, I would appreciate not having this label slapped onto me just because the social majority view my community this way.
For the OP, just ask your friend what he wants and offer to take him out to do whatever it is... your treat. He could be wanting to just go out with some close friends and relax to attempt to get his mind off things, or he could be wanting some attention from another guy. You won't really know unless you ask him, and there's no harm in asking!
Events, bars, or clubs.
As far as the bar/club scene, the only two places I've been in NYC are Marie's Crisis and Posh--both were a blast.
Related links: http://www.dannytenaglia.com/ and http://pachanyc.com/
Classic DT song:
You can even take him to Victor Calderone next weekend (April 17) at the same place.
Right now, I'm so jealous of NYC. Darn New York to HECK!
Edit: Also, I wouldn't worry about taking your friend out to meet guys yet. Just take him somewhere to have fun, really. Base it on around what he likes to do.
Some people like going to clubs. Going to a club doesn't mean you are going to go fuck a stranger. It just means you are going to drink and dance and have some fun. to some people this sounds like a good way to deal with a break up.
gay people tend to like to go to gay clubs. straight people tend to like to go straight clubs. When people go out to dance and have fun they like to have people who are attractive to them around. This is shocking I know.
now if you think clubs are a cesspool of sin I respect your opinion but maybe you should stay out of the thread because OP specifically asked for gay club advice.
Actually you are just a bigoted goose who should probably fuck off and die.
https://medium.com/@alascii