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Lack of motivation
Chen
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
I'll try to make this as short and clear as possible. Thanks in advance.
Over the past years my motivation to study has been waning. I find the courses overall a bit dull, but that's not why I'm here asking for advice. I'd have switched to another major if I wasn't in my fifth year.
It goes a bit deeper than that. My mother has passed away for a year now and I can't get my mind away from the times I spent with her. I'm not sure if it's depression, but my motivation has hit a low point since the dreadful news hit me. My father's mood has changed too which likely has affected me. A part of me says I should have fun and stop worrying about the future, but my heart tells me it's irresponsible, immature, basically not the right thing to do. It isn't what she'd have wanted. I have to graduate, but something tells me it isn't going to happen soon.
One solution to keep me on track are time schedules, but I never keep them. Truthfully, it's never really worked on me before. I just go from book to book and stop when I think it's enough. It's become worse now since I can't keep concentrated on things that isn't remotely interesting to me. I'm thinking I need to change my lifestyle to accommodate my study needs, but it can't work if all I say is "Fuck it" and slack off.
The college I attend to has courses that help with motivation problems, but I fear it's just some round table talk with "Hi, my name is Billy and I have a ...", nothing to actually motivate me. To make matters worse, college told me I don't have many chances left, presumably to keep the pressure on. And my student loan is building up to big proportions.
I'm in a bad situation, aren't I?
Over the past years my motivation to study has been waning. I find the courses overall a bit dull, but that's not why I'm here asking for advice. I'd have switched to another major if I wasn't in my fifth year.
It goes a bit deeper than that. My mother has passed away for a year now and I can't get my mind away from the times I spent with her. I'm not sure if it's depression, but my motivation has hit a low point since the dreadful news hit me. My father's mood has changed too which likely has affected me. A part of me says I should have fun and stop worrying about the future, but my heart tells me it's irresponsible, immature, basically not the right thing to do. It isn't what she'd have wanted. I have to graduate, but something tells me it isn't going to happen soon.
One solution to keep me on track are time schedules, but I never keep them. Truthfully, it's never really worked on me before. I just go from book to book and stop when I think it's enough. It's become worse now since I can't keep concentrated on things that isn't remotely interesting to me. I'm thinking I need to change my lifestyle to accommodate my study needs, but it can't work if all I say is "Fuck it" and slack off.
The college I attend to has courses that help with motivation problems, but I fear it's just some round table talk with "Hi, my name is Billy and I have a ...", nothing to actually motivate me. To make matters worse, college told me I don't have many chances left, presumably to keep the pressure on. And my student loan is building up to big proportions.
I'm in a bad situation, aren't I?
Chen on
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If you're this close to graduating, I'd focus on the rewards of being done with school and a potentially high paying career. Those that graduate with a college degree earn on average $2,000,000 in their life time more than someone with a high school degree.
I wouldn't focuse on your student loans, if they're merit based. Merit based student loans are sponsored by the government (in the us, no idea about other countries) and are not reported to your credit bureau, if you don't pay them off in time, the company or organization will turn over your debt to the government. The government is going to get their money one way or the other, wether they have to take it out of your tax return or garnish your wages.
You may not be motivated by school right now and you may be suffering and slacking off because of the death of a loved one. I'd just like to point out however, that your loved ones are always with you wether in your memories or if you believe in an afterlife and that they might be watching over you. If you're suffering in school because of the death of your mom, think about how she would feel knowing that you're not doing well. She would want you to do your best and graduate and wouldn't want for you to be failing or dropping out because you miss her. You know how good moms are at guilt trips? Imagine she was right beside you and laying it on because you weren't performing well, also I'm sure she'd want you to be happy and be successful (I believe in the afterlife and I'm sure she's cheering you on). Imagine if you got to Heaven and your mom was pissed because you were only a step away from graduating and gave up.
I hope this is some help to you and I've been sufficiently sensitive enough and open minded in my post.
You have to find your inner strength, your father's mood may have changed, but to put it bluntly, when all of your family and friends are gone, it's just you. Slipping up now and quitting will affect you for the rest of your life, while you will in time get over those you have lost.
I think it would be good for you to look into one of those support groups, even if it's just "Hi, my name is Billy...", it will do you good to talk about it and you can pick up tips from listening to other people talk about going through the same thing and how they're coping with it.
If you're really stressed out about the loss of a loved one, working hard can be good medicine as long as you don't ignore the sypmtoms. You should have fun and enjoy your life, you only have one to live. However, don't use this as an excuse to fuck off, but rather, use it to motivate you and encourage you to finish school so you can have a higher paying job, a nicer home, a better car, and not worry about living paycheck to paycheck.
If you work hard now and understand the concept of delayed gratification (when you give up something you want now for something better later and taking the hard road and applying yourself when it's easier to just quit and party) then your life will be much richer in the future.
If you have any other questions or comments, or would like me to go more in detail, feel free to pm me, just make sure that you reference the topic or this thread.
Reading some good motivational stuff has done wonders for me lately. I've been slogging through Atlas Shrugged and Capitalistm: The Unknown Ideal for a while now, and they're great reminders that the world is full of worthless morons and it's up to individuals to just rise above it all.
Before you sit down to study, try and figure out what you want to learn in this session. That way you can tell when you have had enough because you've managed to do stuff.
It's good to set aside time for work, but you need to know what you are going to do.
Satans..... hints.....
Life is short, I want to enjoy it a little more, even though it's at the expense of my studies. Studying doesn't seem like a top priority anymore. I'm only 21 years old, the time to study will come or so I think.
I'm worried if that time never comes. Today was supposed to be a test, but I didn't go because I know there's a zero chance if I haven't done the proper preparations. It doesn't help that it's the same test I've been doing for the last four years. Confidence isn't exactly booming.
There is a sense telling me I'm an idiot for not trying, which makes me a bit guilty, but I shrugg it off after a while. It is true that if I had graduated I would be working right now, so it's basically lost income the longer it takes. Although I've been told that work in the business isn't exactly stress free, so it goes both ways. Enjoying life vs. Raking in the dough, or both if possible. That's some deep shit.
Im a student, but I barely went to school last few weeks. I'm really thinking about quitting and finding another study. I'm having a little difficulty with telling my parents though.
Changing your major to something you like, or switching schools, would be preferable to not going to class and getting kicked out of your current school.
Consider taking a year of absence from school to work and travel. In Europe it's pretty common to take a year off after high school to prepare for college, and Harvard is now encouraging it's students to do so. You can read more about it here.
Work to live, don't live to work. If you make more money, your life outside of work will vastly improve. You shouldn't love your job so much that the main attraction in your life is work. However, if you end up working at McDonald's as a burger flipper, you're going to find that you have to work constantly just to keep a roof over your head, won't be able to enjoy the finer things in life, because you won't have the time, the energy, or the resources to do so.