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Crazy dude threatens and follows me

khainkhain Registered User regular
edited May 2010 in Help / Advice Forum
So the title is a little vague, story is in the spoiler and questions are below.
About a year ago the crazy dude in the apartment below me banged on my door one day about a year ago and accused me of hacking his wireless connection and screwing up his internet after talking to him for 15 to 30 minutes which included him threatening to call the FBI I decided he was crazy and politely shut the door. Fast forward to today where I'm walking out of my apartment and he utters a few threats, something about beating me up if he finds me someplace else and other stuff, I ignore him and jump in my car, turns out he's following me and at a stop sign he taps the back of my car though he causes no damage, after I get out, which probably wasn't the smartest move, a cop happens to pull up and tells us to follow him off the road. I give the cop my story and then the crazy dude goes on about me hacking his internets and admits to following me from the apartment. The cop let me go after a little bit advising me to get a no contact order from the courthouse and saying that he probably won't be able to do anything about the crazy guy though he did mention something about medical help.

just in case it matters, I'm a guy but have never been in a fight in my life so I'm not to confident about standing up to a vet if things somehow got violent.

I'm probably going to end up moving since I don't really feel safe living above this guy, but for the time being is there anything other than getting a no contact order that would improve my situation or anything I can do to keep myself safe since the guy seems like he's off the deep end?

khain on

Posts

  • GoodOmensGoodOmens Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Talk to your landlord, if you haven't already. Document any contact with Mr. Crazy if at all possible.

    GoodOmens on
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  • chromdomchromdom That's not actually my head Oh yeah, I movedRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    I would say file a report on the no-damage bump. Be sure to include that when requesting the no contact order. You want to create a trail, a mountain of evidence, so that if/when anything ever happens, it can be shown that this guy was already harassing you and it wasn't just a guy having a bad day.
    Besides that, keep your doors and windows locked, try not to be in the same area as him (hard when you're living in the same place, I know), and try to keep your self and your car/belongings in safe, well lit areas.
    Oh! Definitely let your apartment manager know what's going on. It's entirely possible you're not the only he's doing this too, and the manager may just evict him. Be especially sure to mention that if something doesn't change so that you feel safe, you will be leaving.

    chromdom on
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  • Raif SeveranceRaif Severance Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Hmmm... that's really a bad situation. Can you talk to the landlord at all? Maybe you can move to another location that they own. I would definitely let them know there's a crazy person downstairs and I would definitely get the police involved. Getting something down on paper with them is the first step. I would also make sure you have the name of the officer that witnessed the dude being crazy at the stop sign because his testimony might help you later.

    This guy is obviously troubled. If he is a vet then he's probably being seen at your local VA hospital. I'm not sure of a way to let his doctor know of his actions without a HIPAA violation but it sounds like he needs some help. I would avoid direct confrontation if at all possible since this guy seems a bit fixated on you. You may want to carry some mace with you just in case and try not to go out alone after dark.

    Raif Severance on
  • Roland_tHTGRoland_tHTG Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    "Look dude, I don't even have anything wireless but I've read online before that you can do awesome things with wireless, like securing it. And I'm pretty sure wireless works in more directions than up so go bug somebody else."

    Roland_tHTG on
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  • SliderSlider Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    I'd inform your landlord stat.

    I wonder if law enforcement would be able to run a check on that guy...

    Slider on
  • DhalphirDhalphir don't you open that trapdoor you're a fool if you dareRegistered User regular
    edited April 2010
    I'll second getting the no-contact order, and definitely get the name of that police officer who was at the stop. If it ever comes down to getting this crazy guy in trouble for something he might do to you, establishing a pre-existing pattern goes a long way to getting this guy punished for a lot more than just the one act.

    Dhalphir on
  • Blake TBlake T Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    "Look dude, I don't even have anything wireless but I've read online before that you can do awesome things with wireless, like securing it. And I'm pretty sure wireless works in more directions than up so go bug somebody else."

    In all honesty while I am a big proponent of actually addressing problems by addressing the people.

    The guy is a nutjob, he'll just accuse you of god knows what else.

    Blake T on
  • KalkinoKalkino Buttons Londres Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Sounds like this has gone on long enough that the reason probably won't matter, he doesn't like you and wants to do something about it. Some people are just like that, or possibly he has some sort of mild mental illness. Either way, I don't think he sounds like the kind of person you will be able to reason with

    Kalkino on
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  • LachrymiteLachrymite Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    My wife and I ran into a similar situation about five years ago. Our downstairs neighbor was a very mildly retarded middle aged man who had been living on his own since his mother died a few years previous. It was a pretty small town so everyone knew him. He started to go a little crazy, and began causing trouble for us because we were supposedly clomping around so heavily that the pictures were falling off of his walls. He lodged a complaint against us with the apartment manager, who didn't take him very seriously since he had done so multiple times with every previous tenant above him.

    I attempted to go down and confront him about it, and he hid in his apartment, called up the manager, and told her I was outside and was going to beat him up if he came out (which is hilarious when you consider the guy had 6 inches and 50 pounds on me). After this, he started to get crazier/more demanding about it, and then he started following us around, culminating with him getting caught trying to take pictures of my wife at work.

    We talked to the apartment manager (who had known him growing up) about filing a complaint and possibly getting police involved at this point, but we were planning on moving away and out of state in a few weeks anyway. The manager told him that if he didn't leave us alone we'd talk to the police, and she told us if we wanted she'd start working on evicting him if he did anything again. He left us alone for the remainder of our lease.

    Based on my experience, I wouldn't really try talking to the guy about it again, it just set our guy off more and escalated the crazy. The apartment manager was incredibly helpful and nice about the whole thing, and I'd strongly recommend talking to yours. We probably would have gone the no contact order route as well if we were going to be in the same area instead of moving across the entire country.

    Lachrymite on
  • FantasmaFantasma Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Something I cannot understand is why can't you defend yourself and beat the shit out of this crazy people?

    Fantasma on
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  • SatanIsMyMotorSatanIsMyMotor Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Fantasma wrote: »
    Something I cannot understand is why can't you defend yourself and beat the shit out of this crazy people?

    Because that would be retarded?

    Definitely flag this to your landlord. Personally, I'd also try explaining the situation to Mr. McCrazy. If he's bonafide nutszo though moving may be a better alternative.

    SatanIsMyMotor on
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  • GothicLargoGothicLargo Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Fantasma wrote: »
    Something I cannot understand is why can't you defend yourself and beat the shit out of this crazy people?

    Because the castle doctrine doesn't take effect until they escalate the situation. Aside from the one sentence that brings the secret service down on you, you can say just about anything in this country and it's just talk*. That's a good thing even if it's sometimes inconvenient.

    *Well, it was. After NYC and Columbine I'm not so sure that's still the case but it was.

    GothicLargo on
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  • truck-a-saurastruck-a-sauras Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Fantasma wrote: »
    Something I cannot understand is why can't you defend yourself and beat the shit out of this crazy people?

    while I'm a big fan of kicking ass, this won't end the situation. Say he does get in an altercation and kicks mr. Crazies ass.... Mr. Crazy will just come back next time with a bat or knife to get an edge.

    This guy is already testing the water so to speak by that car bump incident. He is going to escalate things from there without a doubt. Be prepared to defend yourself if necessary, or more importantly have your cell on you charged, call the cops, get away.

    and yeah, move.

    truck-a-sauras on
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  • stahstah Registered User
    edited April 2010
    Like others have said, I'd contact the building manager and explain the situation to him/her. I'd also get that No Contact Order, too.

    This guy sounds a little off and I'm not sure I'd feel safe living around him. Even if you do get him evicted, you might as well move because he may just escalate further. The guy does know when you live.


    As a side note, I'd def. consider enrolling in some kind of self defense class. Don't get me wrong, it's not going to make you Jet Li or anything like that and I'm def. not telling you to fight this guy! It's just, to me, I like to know how to handle myself if I needed to. That confidence in knowing where your strengths lie is def. worth the time/money investment.

    It's also a great workout.

    stah on
  • DarkewolfeDarkewolfe Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    The police officer already gave you good advice, I assume you are pursuing that with full speed? Because that's good advice, better than anything you'll probably get around here.

    Darkewolfe on
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  • SipexSipex Registered User
    edited April 2010
    I've had some crazy neighbours before and the best thing I did was move away (our landlords lived in another city and were largely useless, but we notified them anyways only to have nothing done).

    Escalating it physically will never pan out for you for so many reasons.
    - If they're truly crazy there's no guarantee they'll excercise the same constraint as you during a fight. IE: Going for the deathblow.
    - If you win they'll just get pissed off, nobody likes losing. And if the individual is alive and free chances of a second confrontation (in less your favour) get higher.
    - If you win and move away and this guy has enough free time on his hands he might try to find you. That'll be awesome, right?

    Sipex on
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  • KidDynamiteKidDynamite Registered User
    edited April 2010
    Disclaimer: *Not a serious answer*

    Next time you see him,

    "Look man, I'm sorry I wasn't able to tell you earlier, I wasn't sure you could be trusted. I had to change the frequency with which you were broadcasting and mask a couple of ports. This way the FBI can't watch in on us so easily."

    KidDynamite on
  • DirtyDirtyVagrantDirtyDirtyVagrant Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    ...

    Anyway, you want to make sure that all of this is well documented with the police. Creating a paper trail is very important. If he were to attack you and you killed or injured him while defending yourself (even by accident), this paper trail would be essential to your defense in court. So just make sure the police and your landlord know what's going on, at the very least.

    E: As for fighting, it kinda comes naturally when it happens. And there are no rules. Crush his balls, bite his flesh off, gouge his eyes, whatever you gotta do. Just remember that in a self defense situation, your priority is to escape and nothing more. You can't teach the guy a lesson or anything like that. That'll get you in a lot of trouble. This is assuming that it comes to this though, which is pretty unlikely.

    That said, getting a no contact order may serve to aggravate him even further. Also, if he's already committed himself to trying to hurt you, then he's already either accepted the consequences in his own mind, or he's oblivious to them. In either case, he probably gives less than a shit about the no contact order.

    Whatever you do, don't start carrying a knife or a gun, because #1 you don't want to risk those things being used against you, and #2 Pulling one out only serves to escalate the situation.

    DirtyDirtyVagrant on
  • CabezoneCabezone Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    A no contact order is good because if it does come down to a self defense type of situation there's more to charge him with.

    Cabezone on
  • claypoolfanclaypoolfan Registered User
    edited April 2010
    Sorry but I didn't see this stated or implied anywhere so I have to ask, were you in fact pirating his wireless?

    claypoolfan on
  • DirtyDirtyVagrantDirtyDirtyVagrant Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Cabezone wrote: »
    A no contact order is good because if it does come down to a self defense type of situation there's more to charge him with.

    Just saying. If I was gonna kick someone's ass. Like I wanted to hurt them, then basically I've already reserved myself to an assault/battery/willful injury charge. That's jail time. The no contact order is a small amount of icing on the proverbial cake.

    DirtyDirtyVagrant on
  • WulfWulf Disciple of Tzeentch The Void... (New Jersey)Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    Cabezone wrote: »
    A no contact order is good because if it does come down to a self defense type of situation there's more to charge him with.

    Just saying. If I was gonna kick someone's ass. Like I wanted to hurt them, then basically I've already reserved myself to an assault/battery/willful injury charge. That's jail time. The no contact order is a small amount of icing on the proverbial cake.

    But it does build history so he can't get it passed off as not pre-meditated. At least I would think :?:

    Wulf on
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  • DirtyDirtyVagrantDirtyDirtyVagrant Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    That's true, but you have to balance "building history" with "potentially further enraging already crazy guy."

    DirtyDirtyVagrant on
  • 3drage3drage Registered User
    edited April 2010
    You don't happen to be in AZ do you? If so my apologies for the wireless. :D

    3drage on
  • khainkhain Registered User regular
    edited April 2010
    So slight update, I talked to the apartment manager right after the incident though she didn't seem that helpful. Maybe I'm just thinking about this to much, but eviction doesn't really seem like it would help since it's going to piss the guy off and he still knows where I live so at this point I'm pretty much resigned to moving though it happened to come at a good time with family events giving me a place to stay. I got the police officer's name and I'm going ahead with filling the no contact order. And for those who asked I have no clue what's wrong with his wireless ad I highly doubt anyone would take the time to try and screw around with it.

    khain on
  • BloodySlothBloodySloth Registered User regular
    edited May 2010
    It doesn't really take any time to get your internets stoled if you're not taking any measures to secure your wireless network. Shit, from where I'm sitting right now, my laptop is picking up three networks I have nothing to do with, and I'll bet you that at least one of them isn't password protected or has a crummy password like "password" or "1234" or something retarded like that.

    But all of that is entirely beside the point that you're not doing anything to this guy and it's good to hear that you're going ahead with the no-contact.

    BloodySloth on
  • DhalphirDhalphir don't you open that trapdoor you're a fool if you dareRegistered User regular
    edited May 2010
    Disclaimer: *Not a serious answer*

    Next time you see him,

    "Look man, I'm sorry I wasn't able to tell you earlier, I wasn't sure you could be trusted. I had to change the frequency with which you were broadcasting and mask a couple of ports. This way the FBI can't watch in on us so easily."

    I thought posts like this were supposed to get infracted in H&A.
    Its really not appropriate in this subforum.

    Anyway, OP, sounds like you're on the right path. As long as moving is a financially possible decision, go for it. Just...if he is genuinely crazy, try to avoid leaving any sort of trail that could help him find your new address.

    Dhalphir on
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