Graphic Novel WIP

HanSagan

Hi all,

Been a while since I've posted anything here, so I thought I'd get started with some illustration work I've been doing. These are illustrations is a graphic novel I've been commissioned to do, and it's in a very different tone and style for me....I just wanted to get some thoughts on how it's turning out?







Thanks in advance

Projeck

That's looking pretty good, but the broken...glass? in the first picture is really flat

Kendeathwalker

post the actual pages. critiquing individual panels out of context wont be too helpful to the finished product.

earthwormadam

I'm no expert on hands by any means, but the boys thumbs in the first one looks like a sixth finger.

Spectral Swallow

Couple of things in the first picture:

The drooling(?) chick has some problems with her boots, they seem to be contorted in a weird angle.
She also seems to have some shading issues with her right leg (the jacket above has a dark gray shading, but her leg is entirely dark, it looks unnatural).
She also seems to be really flat looking, where the boy is above her, holding her hand and his other hand on her leg have no indication he's touching her, which may be part of the flat feeling. It almost looks like he's looking down on a painting.
Her entire left arm is hard to identify and from the angle her arm is, with her wrist and hand it looks like her arm is broken.

Granted those are all really really minor things and the picture as a whole is actually quite good. The second one has some light source issues, but I think those can be chalked up to style.

Fugitive

You should do some more hand/foot studies. They aren't rendered with the same level of confidence and finesse as the rest of the figures. Especially the guy's hands in the first panel, which look more or less like paper cutouts. Same goes with the girl's boots, which just seem kind of unfinished.

You could also work more on interaction between figures. The hands on the first guy give the impression that he's not so much leaning on a corpse as he is leaning on a painting on the floor. If he were gripping her hand, or if his fingers were more convincingly rolling over her leg, that could help a lot with the depth issues some people are talking about. The second one has a similar problem, in that the right hand is just sort of resting gingerly on the log, which makes her look more passive and less action-y than you probably want.

They're still pretty solid, though.

HanSagan

Thanks for the feedback, all good stuff I'll need to keep an eye on.

NibCrom

Kendeathwalker wrote: »

post the actual pages. critiquing individual panels out of context wont be too helpful to the finished product.

Tubesteak Samurai

I love a lot about the girl posing in the second panel however the position of her right leg does not reconcile with her hip as implied by the position of left leg. It's sticking out way too far. Also the black space between her left leg and left arm is does not make sense in accordance with the lighting. You should actually be able to see her other leg and foot through there. This can actually be pulled off without drawing any naughty bits, if that's what you were trying to avoid.

HanSagan

Here's the busiest page so far....a little more crowded than I usually prefer, but it's what the client wants...no speech bubbles added yet, but hopefully the story tells itself (The comic is called 'Seizure' if that helps

earthwormadam

Pretty cool, that second panel is disgusting! (but cool)

Kendeathwalker

in the panel where the guys breaking the frame and sticking his hand in her mouth. I feel you took the stylization of his forearm to far, even in hugely musceled people there is more of a taper towards the wrist, youve got an ant body type segmentation thing going on.

The third panel with just the hand doesnt seem to add anything as you dont really show her hands doing much of anything in the rest of the page. My immideate notion was to push the second panel(glass into cheek) into the place of the third panel and add a tension shot in the second panel. Say a silohette showing her in mid fall and the broken glass waiting below.

Im assuming the page before this or after establishes the enviroment they are in?

I dont know how strict your writer is being about making you draw exactly what is dicated in the script panel for panel.

Mustang

If I didn't read the title I would've been a bit lost as to why he was sticking his hand in her mouth.
It's cool though, I really like the layout.

ZEROID

In the second panel, the girl's hair is quite shorter(and less volume) than how it is portrayed through out the page.

The scene where the guy is putting his hand down, it's his left hand. When the girl is biting, she's biting his right hand.


oh yea and what is WIP ?

JLM-AWP

ZEROID wrote: »

oh yea and what is WIP ?

Work in progress.