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Making the move
chainsaw willy
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Hey everyone, I have never really posted on the forums much but have been a lurker for a long time. I feel like this is my best bet for some solid advice though. Anyway, about a month ago this girl from work had a mutual friend of ours give me her number. I had a crush on her for quite some time before this and was pretty shocked that it actually happened. A couple days later I sent her a message just saying hey and we ended up texting pretty much all day. I asked her if she wanted to go for drinks on the weekend and she said yes. The date went pretty good we talked for about 6 hours at the taphouse and then went somewhere else to play pool. Had a really good time and all that jazz. So we decided to go out the next weekend, I took her to a museum that she had mentioned being interested in and then we went for a late dinner and drinks. Once again all was good and we had a blast. Last weekend she wanted to meet my friends so we met up with them at a pub and ended up getting a little bit drunk. On the walk home I managed to work up the courage to put my arm around her waist and she didn't pull away or anything so that was good. This is pretty much the only move I have made thus far and my question is what is the best way to make a more serious move without scaring her off. Also I get super nervous with this stuff and second guess myself a lot. I am not sure how to make it not awkward as I have not dated in 3 years and the last girl I was with was kind of easy and turned out to be a not so good person. Anyway this girl is different, she's classy, smart and really easy to talk too. We share a lot of the same interests and whatnot, and I have a good feeling of the way things are going. Thing is the past 3 times we have hung out I have wanted to make a move but have chickened out. So H/A....Whats your advice?
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This makes it much easier to read. (Now reading and replying)
So, other than the easy chick, do you have any experience with women? If all you've done is been with a "slut", it can drastically change how you foresee "making the move" and, if anything, not teach you it at all.
That being said, it can happen pretty naturally and remember that if someone is mutually interested they'll do their part to make it happen, too. Unless they are super passive. Then you're screwed.
Fake edit: She's clearly into you, so just find an appropriate time (pretty much anytime, besides mid-conversation) and lean in, and kiss her.
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"Did you know the distance from here (touch her nearest shoulder) to here (touch her nearest elbow) is the same as from here (come around behind her back and touch her far shoulder) to here (touch far elbow)?" When done let your arm drop smoothly around her.
Difficult to describe in text. Usually ends up with girl looking at you, amused at the cheesy move. She smiles, you lean in, magic ensues.
Standard disclaimer: Use with extreme caution, don't use without prior interactions, your mileage may vary.
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edit: and even if she doesn't cuddle up to you go for it. As long as she doesn't pull away and seems slightly comfortable. You went to a bar, a museum, and she's met your friends. Any guy who has done all this and hasn't sealed the deal is getting really close to the friend zone.
^As a guy who has been friend zoned before, this is essential info to take into account.
This is a mangled version of the advice I was given in a similar situation, but it holds up pretty well: if love is a game, then it's your turn and you are stalling for time when there's only one move you can make.
I guess the real answer to this is just man the fuck up and go for it.
See you answered it yourself.
In terms of making it smooth I would just make sure that it is awesome. I would recommend kissing her good.
Satans..... hints.....
She already likes you.
We know this. It is a thing. Her liking you is a tangible object.
Now your job is don't fuck it up.
To be honest once you get to this stage it is pretty hard to fuck it up. Unless you make a joke about banging your mother you don't need any moves. In fact the only damn move you need to make is closing that gap to her lips and making sure you aren't going to lay down something so wet her face will look like it is covered in a mornings dew.
Satans..... hints.....
I never ended up experiencing much shyness, and to me it sounds a little bit weird and there's no way the girl wouldn't see right through your "graceful" retreat, but if you're having a hard time you can always give it a go. Its a way to give yourself a plan at least, which might help you feel more reassured than just doing it.
Plus, its fun.
Also, while in my experience there is absolutely, categorically no such thing as the "friend zone", you really ought to make a move before she decides that you simply aren't interested and moves on.
If it makes you feel better, you won't be making the first move: it's already been made. She made it when she had a friend give you her number, and again when she asked to be introduced to your friends. Even if you don't count either of those, you put your arm around her, so you should pretty much consider moves made and interest expressed at this point.
As Alyce says, just kiss her already.
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Also, my current girlfriend thought it was cute when I asked her if it was ok if I kissed her. We're both well out of high school and college.
Just balls up and do it
You like her, she seems into you. Invite her over, cook her dinner or cook dinner together, pour some wine, and for the love of all that is holy, KISS HER BEFORE THE CHANCE SLIPS AWAY!
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The worst thing she can do is say "no", in which case you will have saved yourself an assload of wasted time.
DO IT!
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Or something
Just go for it
Just don't trip when you move toward her and accidentally grab a boob.
I know, laughing kinda kills the mood. Especially if you're kissing watching a Comedy Central stand up... then you catch a joke mid kiss... and you can't stop laughing....
Total mood killer.
Though once you're a lot more relaxed having something funny playing in the background can make for fun laugh breaks.
Psht, laughing during makeouts/sexy times is the best thing.
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