Neighbors have a squeaky bed for fucking

HyperAquaBlast

So my newish upstairs neighbors tend to fuck a lot on their free time. Thats cool for them.

Thing is my ceiling and their floor are shit for noise reduction and this couple has the classic squeaky bed. This thing is easily heard in my bedroom over the droan of cooling fan. Thankfully the dude up there lets me know when they're done by letting out a loud groan.

The little reasons why I have told myself not to tell them straight up is becuase I'm a stranger and its sex. I don't want to come off as the guy whos single and a prude or the creepy guy who has been listening in to their sex acts for the past two weeks. Which I'm not on both of those!

So how should I introduce myself to this couple and let them know their bed is in need of repairs due to fucking? Or do I go the aparment offices and let them know?

Sipex

Confront them but just say you keep hearing squeaking noises coming from their apartment at x time (night?) and you wanted to make sure they knew so they could check it out in case it's serious.

THEPAIN73

Tell the landlord.

They can usually be more tactful with things like this.

Of course a bed brochure couldn't hurt haha.

Tag

Slip a brochure for new beds or with the bed section tabbed under their door :P It's a little passive aggressive I guess, but it at least saves you both the embarrassment.

The landlord idea is good but I've seen people really overreact to that, where they think you're trying to get them kicked out or something.

Edit: Of course, it could be an issue of no rug in their bedroom more than the bed itself. That would be an easier way to confront them directly. Just knock on the door, introduce yourself and say something like "Oh by the way, do you guys have carpet in your bed room? The floor makes noise." That *should* clue them in without directly forcing the "have quieter sex" issue.

Darkewolfe

Don't do anything and cope with the fact that this is a problem people have faced for ages. It's not really their fault, if anything it's just a symptom of living in a place with shoddy sound proofing. Move out if it really bothers you. Bed squeaking, even at its squeakiest, is not a noise level that people should have to worry about their neighbors over.

Protein Shakes

I had the same problem in my old place, and I got around it by wearing earplugs when I sleep.

Incidentally, that also improved my quality of sleep even on days when my nextdoor neighbors weren't having sex. I was no longer woken up by other things like car alarms or a crow landing next to my window and screaming its ass off.

VisionOfClarity

Just mention it to them. They probably don't know.

Sipex

We've pretty much given you every possible answer...heh.

Read them over and figure out which one you like the sound of better (and could deal with).

VisionOfClarity

We had neighbors who we could hear (moans and all) faintly in the bathroom from my last apartment. Since we only heard it once a week at most it became more of a joke than anything. We also felt odd doing our business while someone was moaning away when you're trying to pee, but we lived.

If it were right over my bed that'd be a different story.

matt has a problem

Moan back in response. Make the exact same noises you hear. It works every time.

GungHo

Just listen in and have fun.

Ask her how she liked the Aztec Warrior last night, or whatever she calls it.

Protein Shakes

jesus christ guys

joshofalltrades

Michael J. Fox has the answer

It's the secret of his success

Zeromus

As a person that lives and has frequent sex in an apartment, I'd be pretty stressed if a neighbor came to my door and told me they could hear. I mean, it would make me sweat it every time I had my girlfriend over, and there isn't exactly something I could do about it apart from spending money on a carpet (which might not even help) or consciously having to be quieter, which would blow.

Just saying, I think this is something you could probably get over with some headphones or something.

adytum

Zeromus wrote: »

As a person that lives and has frequent sex in an apartment, I'd be pretty stressed if a neighbor came to my door and told me they could hear. I mean, it would make me sweat it every time I had my girlfriend over, and there isn't exactly something I could do about it apart from spending money on a carpet (which might not even help) or consciously having to be quieter, which would blow.

Just saying, I think this is something you could probably get over with some headphones or something.

Sounds like your problem.

I live with 4 other people, myself and 2 others have rooms adjacent to one another, and all 3 of us have long-term girlfriends. The other two guys rooms are directly below ours.

We laugh about the noises after the fact.

Zeromus

adytum wrote: »

Zeromus wrote: »

As a person that lives and has frequent sex in an apartment, I'd be pretty stressed if a neighbor came to my door and told me they could hear. I mean, it would make me sweat it every time I had my girlfriend over, and there isn't exactly something I could do about it apart from spending money on a carpet (which might not even help) or consciously having to be quieter, which would blow.

Just saying, I think this is something you could probably get over with some headphones or something.

Sounds like your problem.

I live with 4 other people, myself and 2 others have rooms adjacent to one another, and all 3 of us have long-term girlfriends. The other two guys rooms are directly below ours.

We laugh about the noises after the fact.

All I was trying to say was complaining will maybe piss the neighbor off but result in no change. I mean, I also don't really give a fuck if people hear me, and for this reason and the aforementioned, I think he's better off just doing his best to ignore it.

Forar

I have a couple of neighbours that do this from time to time. Look, if I'm woken up at 3am by cries of animal passion, I'd damned well better be involved is all I'm saying. Though much more confusing was when they changed up the routine. Hearing two people moaning wasn't all that surprising for them. The third voice joining in, however...

Luckily they haven't been particularly active in a while, but I now have what sounds like two people having conversations between rooms (which is to say, loudly) and walking around in steel shanked boots (which is to say, loudly) upstairs.

To drag this back even glancingly on topic, living in apartment buildings can be a mixed blessing, and the noises of other people is part of what can make it a trying experience. I like the suggestions that have been made, and hope that one of them works for you.

I'm pretty sure my bedroom is adjacent to the living room of my next door neighbour, and their talking at all hours (thin walls, it seems) was kind of annoying me, so I shifted the room around to put my bed (and thus, head) on the opposite wall, giving me another 10 feet or so of space from that source of noise. Obviously this isn't going to help much with them being upstairs, but you never know how a shift to the positioning of your head/bed or the acoustics of the room might help.

Maybe get a fan? Something to generate a little white noise while you sleep?

adytum

Zeromus wrote: »

All I was trying to say was complaining will maybe piss the neighbor off but result in no change. I mean, I also don't really give a fuck if people hear me, and for this reason and the aforementioned, I think he's better off just doing his best to ignore it.

You made it sound like knowing that someone could hear you having sex would turn you into a nervous wreck.

OP, if it's constant and obnoxious I'd personally mention it to them in as non-confrontational of a way as possible, they might not have any idea. Different people would react to that news differently, so you'd have to gauge if you should tell them about it after you meet them.

KiTA

I like the leave a brochure thing. Maybe with a CD recording of the noise. And a case of WD40.

Anonymously, of course.

GungHo

I sleep with one of these "whirr machines".

It's fantastic and it's mechanical. The electronic machines have a little "reset" of their sounttrack, which I can pick up on and will keep me up. The mechanical machines, however, make their noise with a little motor, so no soundtrack "reset". I'm a very light sleeper with go-go gadget hearing, so passing cars, barking dogs, and fucking neighbors will keep me up unless I run the whirr machine.

Again, though... I'm a big pervert, so I usually listen in if the neighbors are going at it. Might as well have my fun too.

Beltaine

Get a super sensitive microphone, record it and put it on Youtube.

Improvolone

To hell with Michael J Fox, Gary Coleman has the answer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPqOx-Smqrc&feature=fvst
audio nsfw

Al_wat

Crank metal when they fuck.

worked for me and my roommate. Pretty sure every time he hears Slayer now it induces a sexual response.

Sojorn

I've had the same problem before. At first I thought I might do something messed up like yell at them through the ceiling, encouraging them to hump harder because it was *really* getting me off (figured it would weird them out to the point they'd stop...but could potentially backfire dramatically).

I ended telling some friends about the problem and we came up with a scheme to all go to my apartment and wait for the magic to happen. So like twelve of us pile into a cramped room with beers and popcorn and waited until they really got going and the noise was loud enough to hear over the crowd of people with me. Then we all started clapping and cheering and hooting...and the noise stopped for a few minutes. It picked back up again, we waited for it to cresendo, and then started the cheering again. Noise stops, picks back up a few seconds later....so we started shouting out suggestions and style pointers.

I think they got the point and stopping being such noisy fuckers after that. lol Never had the problem again.

musanman

Put on some marvin gaye or barry white and just crank it. They might figure out your message, start laughing hysterically and quit.

Or they'll bang harder and finish quicker, either way you win.

Dunadan019

1) walk up stairs

2) knock on door.

3) whoever answers the door, introduce yourself as the guy living in the apartment below theirs (skip this if they know you by sight)

4) hand over a small bottle of WD40

5) tell them they'll know what to do with it.

6) wink

7) turn on your heel and walk back to your apartment while humming 'let's get it on'

seriously, just go talk to them. usually being made aware that other people can hear you is a deterent to repeating the behavior (unless they're into that). its really not a big deal, just be polite and don't be tactless.

Improvolone

Sojorn wrote: »

I've had the same problem before. At first I thought I might do something messed up like yell at them through the ceiling, encouraging them to hump harder because it was *really* getting me off (figured it would weird them out to the point they'd stop...but could potentially backfire dramatically).

I ended telling some friends about the problem and we came up with a scheme to all go to my apartment and wait for the magic to happen. So like twelve of us pile into a cramped room with beers and popcorn and waited until they really got going and the noise was loud enough to hear over the crowd of people with me. Then we all started clapping and cheering and hooting...and the noise stopped for a few minutes. It picked back up again, we waited for it to cresendo, and then started the cheering again. Noise stops, picks back up a few seconds later....so we started shouting out suggestions and style pointers.

I think they got the point and stopping being such noisy fuckers after that. lol Never had the problem again.

Thats a total goose move. Unless they are fucking into 4am and you can't sleep, let them fuck for fucks sake.

Sojorn

4am was often the case. And so were the weekends my folks would visit, or I'd have a date in the apt cooking dinner or when people would come over to watch a movie, etc. Those two didn't really have a set fucking schedule I could work around and not have company come over.

Getting your groove on is fine with me...but those people were loud and knew it. They lived in the same type of shitty apartment I did with noise coming through the walls, ceiling, and floor. You'd have to be some kind of back-birth not to realize you were potentially bothering the neighbors with it. And of all my neighbors, they made the most noise the most often.

And goose move or not, it was hilarious for all of us, and it worked to stop the problem. Lighten up Francis, it was just a little harmless fun. ;-)

mully

this has actually happened to me, in my old building, the people over us had a super squeaky bed.

i know this is probably posted on "passive aggressive" notes somewhere, but i left a note because i didn't know how some people would react to "i can hear you having sex and it keeps me awake". i just said, "hi, i live below you and i sometimes hear a lot of squeaking coming from the room above ours".

the squeaking stopped within a few days.

funny thing happened though, there was a lot of loud stomping and running around upstairs the day before we moved out, and i got annoyed and pounded on the ceiling.

a dude came downstairs. he apologized. i decided, being that it was our last day there and i didnt have to worry about running into them anymore, i would tell him what else i could hear - so he could take that into consideration for the next tenants. i told him i could hear everything going on in the bedroom over ours.

turns out that this was the girl's boyfriend, and yesterday was his first day back after being gone for 3 months. HMMM. he went a little bit red.

dispatch.o

This seems pretty inconsiderate if they're slamming the headboard into the wall. All you have to do is put a pillow in the gap between the bed and the wall and the problem is almost always solved. It's not rocket science.

If it's just squeaking, you should be able to tolerate it a day or two a week. Welcome to apartment living?

Personally I try to make the head of my bed isn't on a shared wall with someone above or below my bedroom.

Then again, I stopped using a bedframe and sleep on a box spring and mattress directly on the floor, so there's almost no noise even if I do jumping jacks on the thing.

Dead Computer

When you hear them doing it just get a broom and hit your ceiling repeatedly. Fast, effective, and you won't need to confront them directly.

Draco_Auric

As someone on the other end of this problem, does anyone have tips for stopping a bed squeaking? I've got a wooden frame bed and can't tell where the noise is coming from. It's a total turn off and I'd hate to be causing this problem for someone else.

HyperAquaBlast

Well actually talked to the dude last night but didn't bring up the squeaky bed. Just a small chat about my dog. So I guess baby steps and try to get friendly with neighbors for once.

Dude looks like a tiny Vin Diesel and his girl looks like a late 90s GAP ad girl. So yeah its all understandable now.

I hate passive-aggressive notes with a passion and also despise banging on walls. I'm pretty big on treat people how you want to be treated which is why I want talk face to face about issues.

I understand apartment life and have been at this place for almost two years and will be for another year till I transfer. The previous neighbor had late night video game anger issues where you could hear yelling and stomping every time he died in Modern Warfare 2. On 3 different occasions around 3am I would go to his front door and knock which would cause him to turn off his lights and be quiet. I didn't like how I never talked to him about it though. I will put up with noise but come midnight you shouldn't be a noisy dick anymore.

But yeah totally going to rent a house or town home where ever I move to next.

DarkWarrior

See but if they banged on the walls you wouldn't have a problem.

I don't know why you didn't just bring up straight away to be honest, just explain you're not eavesdropping but you're disturbed because you can hear the bed going away and it inconveniences you. You're putting no pressure on tehm but if there is something they could do about it then you'd appreciate it. Bam, done.

mully

The unfortunate truth is that a lot of people WILL NOT open their doors if you knock on them - they will just stop what they're doing at that point in time and be quiet and hide. We had neighbours like this in our previous building. I knocked, on 3 or 4 occasions, they refused to come to the door, so I left a note. What else would I do in that situation?

Darkewolfe

Improvolone wrote: »

let them fuck for fucks sake.

Javen

Most everyone has had sex and knows how loud it can get. Many people have had sex in squeaky beds. Many people have heard others have sex in close proximity to them.

It's a common situation that most people can empathize with on some level. Bring it up in a non-confrontational, non passive-aggressive way, or just deal with it.

Esh

Wow, there's a lot of really terrible advice in here. You have two options.

1. Say something.
2. Get over it. You live in an apartment building. This happens.

HeavyVillain

Yeah pretty much

Sure it's intimate time for them, but if its causing difficulties (disturbing sleep or anything?) you shouldnt feel too awkward about it. It's an apartment block, someone is going to have to adapt. This happens!


My neighbours used to do it, but it was more... them being vocal than a squeaky bed

When my roommate had his girlfriend around one night, on his way out he bumps into those neighbours

And the neighbor guy makes a kind of snarky smarmy remark along the lines of "sounds like you had a lot of fun lastnight"

and my roommate says "damn.. sorry thats inconsiderate of me, I shouldve realised that if I can hear you guys, youd be able to hear me"

And I never heard the neighbours going at it ever again.

HyperAquaBlast

Darkewolfe wrote: »

Improvolone wrote: »

let them fuck for fucks sake.

I have no problem with people getting their fuck on alright guys.

The main issue is that there is this loud annoying sound that occurs late which is my neighbors bed when the springs are compressed and decompressed repeatedly. It just so happens that sex causes it and I wanted some help coming up with a tactful way to bring it up to some strangers since it isn't exactly a great greeting/complaint opener.

I couldn't think of a way to say it with out coming out completely awkward compared to asking them to not play the violin at 3am for example.

Delzhand

DarkWarrior wrote: »

See but if they banged on the walls you wouldn't have a problem.

I'm not sure if a or a :winky: is more appropriate here.