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Improvisation Monologues/Dialogues Critiques?
Katrinonus
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Katrinonus' Improvisation Monologues (With the Occasional Dialogue)
For a while, I've hosted some improvisation monologues just for fun on my YouTube channel. I figured that now might be a good time to actual post them up on the forums for some review. Mind you there were a few really bad ones when I was first starting out, but at least one has been redone. I also have done one dialogue. Each of these has an intro to it to kind of describe what is going on, but I think in the future that I will cut out these intros entirely because to me they seem obnoxious and awkward. Who knows, I may reupload them without the Intros someday.
Katrinonus, what is an improvisational monologue (or dialogue)?
Now, what do you base these off of?
Are any of these original?
Are there spoilers?
Now, without further adieu:
THE MONOLOGUES/DIALOGUES
FANBASED MONOLOGUES
AMERICAN MCGEE'S ALICE (3 Monologues)
After the Fire
Character: Alice
Intro End: 1:39
Music: Late to the Jabberwock from American Mcgee's Alice
Music Chosen By: Myself
Premise: Takes place before the actual game, directly after the fire. After she's gotten out of the house. Shows her thoughts and disbelief at her parents death.
Thoughts on this Monologue: Yes, the accent isn't proper British. I know. I'm terrible at accents to be absolutely honest. I was far too consumed in the emotion that I lost the accent. I might have been a bit too screechy in this but overall I'm happy with it.
Fractured World
Character: Alice
Intro End: 1:27
Music: Flying on the Wings of Steam from American Mcgee's Alice
Music Chosen By: Myself
Premise: During her stay at Rutledge Asylum while Alice is piecing herself back together, she reviews the truth of what everything within her mind is. Lots of this is taken from the Casebook, at least, the ideas of who I think is who is.
Thoughts on This Monologue: One of my personal favorites, the first video I tried with effects and I probably went a bit overboard. At least I had fun, eh? Again, BAD British accent but overall I love the curious tone of it. The exploring of self. I felt that I gave off that tone very well.
My World Now
Character: Red Queen
Intro End: 0:52
Music: Queen Battle from American Mcgee's Alice
Music Chosen By: Helloween4545
Premise: The Red Queen's thoughts of the child Alice, and how she's 'fixed' Wonderland.
Thoughts on this Monologue: Overall, I like the arrogant tone, but I honestly feel I could do a lot better now on this particular piece. The laugh at the end definitely could use work.
RESIDENT EVIL 5 (2 Monologues)
What Have I Done?
Character: Jill
Intro End: 1:26
Music: Ofelia from Pan's Labyrinth
Music Chosen By: Myself
Premise: Jill still isn't quite free from Wesker's Control. It's just too easy.
Thoughts on this Monologue: Originally not my intention for this monologue, but I did enjoy it. It's got a much more somber tone than the anger I had been going for. I did end up redoing it with the anger, however I just couldn't take this one down.
What Have I Done? (REDUX)
Character: Jill
Intro End: 1:09
Music: Selina Transforms [Cont.] from Batman Returns
Music Chosen By: Myself
Premise: Jill still isn't quite free from Wesker's Control. It's just too easy.
Thoughts on this Monologue: The beginning is gold. I love how I kept it completely in the dark for that twist that I so wanted to do. I noise removed too much in this one though. And she's just so calm throughout all of it. I'm moving too much in this one.
SHIN MEGAMI TENSEI I
Serafina Looking Back
Character: Heroine (Serafina)
Intro End: 1:13
Music: Karma from Shin Megami Tensei: Digital Devil Saga 2
Music Chosen By: RaidouFrost
Premise: The Heroine looks on all they've gained at lost at the end of Shin Megami Tensei I. Really more based off the LP done by RaidouFrost.
Thoughts on this Monologue: I love the emotion in this one. Very subtle. Only thing I really dislike in this is that it really is based off that LP. Music might be a tad too loud in this one. Overall happy with this one though.
FINAL FANTASY VII
The Failings of a Mother
Character: Lucretia
Intro End: 1:08
Music: Sorrow from Folklore
Music Chosen By: RaidouFrost
Premise: A detailed version of Lucretia's thoughts on what is happening to her son Sephiroth.
Thoughts on this Monologue: I felt like I was a little lost. I feel I could do this better, however I can't help but love it all the same. I think that's just because I love Lucretia's character so much.
HAUNTING GROUND
Inside, I Feel
Character: Daniella
Intro End: 3:01
Music: The Finale from Batman Returns
Music Chosen By: Myself
Premise: Daniella cannot feel taste, feel pain, or experience pleasure, but on the inside she is so much more.
Thoughts on this Monologue: My absolutely favorite monologue. This was a redo of the original because I was not happy with how I did it with a cut tongue originally. So here I am reading from a script. I played so much with the emotions and the laugh. Again, not perfect but I was getting there. Not an easy laugh at all. I don't think I've heard anyone pull off as good a laugh as the original VA.
THE PATH
NOTE: Really these are my theories on the girls from The Path about their personalities because The Path is such an open game. I have no idea how to describe the Premise of these monologues.
Music is Everything
Character: Scarlett
Intro End: 1:01
Music: Nocturne in C# Minor by Chopin
Music Chosen By: RaidouFrost
Premise: Just kind of my thoughts on Scarlett from The Path.
Thoughts on this one: Well, this one a lot of people have liked. Also, this was actually done off a script from the original improv because I wasn't happy with how the acting turned out. Again, here I tried to give off the selfish person I feel Scarlett is. I like it because it also shows my thoughts on music as well. This one got chosen to be featured in a musical type thing which was very interesting and beautiful.
Link to the song:
Hello, I'm Robin
Character: Robin
Intro End: 1:00
Music: Safe Song from The Path
Music Chosen By: RaidouFrost
Premise: My thoughts on Robin from the Path. Also, breaking the fourth wall XD
Thoughts on this Monologue: This was more my experiment at me playing a child. I don't know how well that went over.
FINAL FANTASY X
Memories for You and Me
Character: Yuna
Intro End: 1:04
Music: In the Beginning, There Was... from Xenosaga II
Music Chosen By: RaidouFrost
Premise: I watched the ending of FFX and just was not happy with how they portrayed her in X-2. Not at all. These are my thoughts on how Yuna felt.
Thoughts on this Monologue: Honestly, I have no idea. I really just wanted to portray how I felt about it and this was the best way to me.
ORIGINAL MONOLOGUES
SHADOW OF DEATH (Radioplay in Writing Process)
Freedom to Live
Character: Azrael
Intro End: 0:45
Music: Albedo's Theme from Xenosaga I
Music Chosen By: RaidouFrost
Premise: Just a kind of expansion on Azrael's feelings at the end of Chapter 15.
Thoughts on this Monologue: Love it! I few minor problems though. I did have one puff and I moved away from the mic once. Other than that. I loved it.
FANBASED DIALOGUES
ETERNAL DARKNESS
The Offer I Couldn't Refuse
Characters: Alex and Xel'lotath
Intro End: 2:07
Music: A Journey into Darkness, The Somme, A Purpose, and the Chosen One from Eternal Darkness
Music Chosen By: Myself
Premise: In the first ending of Eternal Darkness, Alex talks this way and I had to wonder. What happened to the Ancient that got left behind?
Thoughts on this Monologue: This was my first experiment with video editing. Not too bad for a first try I thought. I captured the footage myself. I'm happy with my Xel'lotath voice but overall I felt my Alex was really weak. I'm hoping in the other two with the other Ancients that it will turn out a fair bit better.
The Offer I Couldn't Refuse
Characters: Alex (Me) and Ulyaoth (TheShadowCookie - http://www.youtube.com/user/TheShadowCookie )
Music: A Journey into Darkness, The Somme, The Penchient, and the Chosen One from Eternal Darkness
Music Chosen By: Myself
Lines: Ulyaoth (Written by TheShadowCookie) and Alex (Rewritten by Myself)
Premise: In the first ending of Eternal Darkness, Alex talks this way and I had to wonder. What happened to the Ancient that got left behind?
Thoughts on this One: It was wonderful to work on with TheShadowCookie on this. He was a joy to work with and I had a lot of fun. I made a few mistakes as far as editing goes and two cutscenes weren't muted. So I hate that!
PLANS FOR THE FUTURE
The Offer I Couldn't Refuse - Chattur'gha Version
I would love critiques on these pieces of work.
For a while, I've hosted some improvisation monologues just for fun on my YouTube channel. I figured that now might be a good time to actual post them up on the forums for some review. Mind you there were a few really bad ones when I was first starting out, but at least one has been redone. I also have done one dialogue. Each of these has an intro to it to kind of describe what is going on, but I think in the future that I will cut out these intros entirely because to me they seem obnoxious and awkward. Who knows, I may reupload them without the Intros someday.
Katrinonus, what is an improvisational monologue (or dialogue)?
Well, this is really simple. What I do is I'll take whatever track that I'm planning to use and play it in the background while I just get into the mood of whatever character I'm doing. Then, after I've got the idea in my head. I'll start recording for the tracks length. Just what comes to mind as far as the idea of the character goes. In dialogues it works a little different, if I'm doing it solo. I just do whatever comes to mind for each character until the idea concludes. If I'm doing it with another person, I do one line and then they do another.
EXCEPTION: The Eternal Darkness dialogues. I actually had to script the last two (when they come out) due to the fact that it was very minor changes in speech. Also, I redid two of these particular monologues because I was not satisfied with the performance.
EXCEPTION: The Eternal Darkness dialogues. I actually had to script the last two (when they come out) due to the fact that it was very minor changes in speech. Also, I redid two of these particular monologues because I was not satisfied with the performance.
Now, what do you base these off of?
Well, as far as that goes, I really base them off an idea I've had about a particular character and what they are thinking. Normally, something obscure or something never touched on. Sometimes, it's just a minor character I felt never truly got to express their full thoughts.
Are any of these original?
Actually, yes. At the moment, I have one original monologue that I'm extremely proud of that's from a radioplay that is currently in the writing phase.
Are there spoilers?
In most cases, yes. In any case, I wouldn't suggest watching these without knowing what they come from before hand (normally games)
Now, without further adieu:
THE MONOLOGUES/DIALOGUES
FANBASED MONOLOGUES
AMERICAN MCGEE'S ALICE (3 Monologues)
After the Fire
Character: Alice
Intro End: 1:39
Music: Late to the Jabberwock from American Mcgee's Alice
Music Chosen By: Myself
Premise: Takes place before the actual game, directly after the fire. After she's gotten out of the house. Shows her thoughts and disbelief at her parents death.
Thoughts on this Monologue: Yes, the accent isn't proper British. I know. I'm terrible at accents to be absolutely honest. I was far too consumed in the emotion that I lost the accent. I might have been a bit too screechy in this but overall I'm happy with it.
Fractured World
Character: Alice
Intro End: 1:27
Music: Flying on the Wings of Steam from American Mcgee's Alice
Music Chosen By: Myself
Premise: During her stay at Rutledge Asylum while Alice is piecing herself back together, she reviews the truth of what everything within her mind is. Lots of this is taken from the Casebook, at least, the ideas of who I think is who is.
Thoughts on This Monologue: One of my personal favorites, the first video I tried with effects and I probably went a bit overboard. At least I had fun, eh? Again, BAD British accent but overall I love the curious tone of it. The exploring of self. I felt that I gave off that tone very well.
My World Now
Character: Red Queen
Intro End: 0:52
Music: Queen Battle from American Mcgee's Alice
Music Chosen By: Helloween4545
Premise: The Red Queen's thoughts of the child Alice, and how she's 'fixed' Wonderland.
Thoughts on this Monologue: Overall, I like the arrogant tone, but I honestly feel I could do a lot better now on this particular piece. The laugh at the end definitely could use work.
RESIDENT EVIL 5 (2 Monologues)
What Have I Done?
Character: Jill
Intro End: 1:26
Music: Ofelia from Pan's Labyrinth
Music Chosen By: Myself
Premise: Jill still isn't quite free from Wesker's Control. It's just too easy.
Thoughts on this Monologue: Originally not my intention for this monologue, but I did enjoy it. It's got a much more somber tone than the anger I had been going for. I did end up redoing it with the anger, however I just couldn't take this one down.
What Have I Done? (REDUX)
Character: Jill
Intro End: 1:09
Music: Selina Transforms [Cont.] from Batman Returns
Music Chosen By: Myself
Premise: Jill still isn't quite free from Wesker's Control. It's just too easy.
Thoughts on this Monologue: The beginning is gold. I love how I kept it completely in the dark for that twist that I so wanted to do. I noise removed too much in this one though. And she's just so calm throughout all of it. I'm moving too much in this one.
SHIN MEGAMI TENSEI I
Serafina Looking Back
Character: Heroine (Serafina)
Intro End: 1:13
Music: Karma from Shin Megami Tensei: Digital Devil Saga 2
Music Chosen By: RaidouFrost
Premise: The Heroine looks on all they've gained at lost at the end of Shin Megami Tensei I. Really more based off the LP done by RaidouFrost.
Thoughts on this Monologue: I love the emotion in this one. Very subtle. Only thing I really dislike in this is that it really is based off that LP. Music might be a tad too loud in this one. Overall happy with this one though.
FINAL FANTASY VII
The Failings of a Mother
Character: Lucretia
Intro End: 1:08
Music: Sorrow from Folklore
Music Chosen By: RaidouFrost
Premise: A detailed version of Lucretia's thoughts on what is happening to her son Sephiroth.
Thoughts on this Monologue: I felt like I was a little lost. I feel I could do this better, however I can't help but love it all the same. I think that's just because I love Lucretia's character so much.
HAUNTING GROUND
Inside, I Feel
Character: Daniella
Intro End: 3:01
Music: The Finale from Batman Returns
Music Chosen By: Myself
Premise: Daniella cannot feel taste, feel pain, or experience pleasure, but on the inside she is so much more.
Thoughts on this Monologue: My absolutely favorite monologue. This was a redo of the original because I was not happy with how I did it with a cut tongue originally. So here I am reading from a script. I played so much with the emotions and the laugh. Again, not perfect but I was getting there. Not an easy laugh at all. I don't think I've heard anyone pull off as good a laugh as the original VA.
THE PATH
NOTE: Really these are my theories on the girls from The Path about their personalities because The Path is such an open game. I have no idea how to describe the Premise of these monologues.
Music is Everything
Character: Scarlett
Intro End: 1:01
Music: Nocturne in C# Minor by Chopin
Music Chosen By: RaidouFrost
Premise: Just kind of my thoughts on Scarlett from The Path.
Thoughts on this one: Well, this one a lot of people have liked. Also, this was actually done off a script from the original improv because I wasn't happy with how the acting turned out. Again, here I tried to give off the selfish person I feel Scarlett is. I like it because it also shows my thoughts on music as well. This one got chosen to be featured in a musical type thing which was very interesting and beautiful.
Link to the song:
Hello, I'm Robin
Character: Robin
Intro End: 1:00
Music: Safe Song from The Path
Music Chosen By: RaidouFrost
Premise: My thoughts on Robin from the Path. Also, breaking the fourth wall XD
Thoughts on this Monologue: This was more my experiment at me playing a child. I don't know how well that went over.
FINAL FANTASY X
Memories for You and Me
Character: Yuna
Intro End: 1:04
Music: In the Beginning, There Was... from Xenosaga II
Music Chosen By: RaidouFrost
Premise: I watched the ending of FFX and just was not happy with how they portrayed her in X-2. Not at all. These are my thoughts on how Yuna felt.
Thoughts on this Monologue: Honestly, I have no idea. I really just wanted to portray how I felt about it and this was the best way to me.
ORIGINAL MONOLOGUES
SHADOW OF DEATH (Radioplay in Writing Process)
Freedom to Live
Character: Azrael
Intro End: 0:45
Music: Albedo's Theme from Xenosaga I
Music Chosen By: RaidouFrost
Premise: Just a kind of expansion on Azrael's feelings at the end of Chapter 15.
Thoughts on this Monologue: Love it! I few minor problems though. I did have one puff and I moved away from the mic once. Other than that. I loved it.
FANBASED DIALOGUES
ETERNAL DARKNESS
The Offer I Couldn't Refuse
Characters: Alex and Xel'lotath
Intro End: 2:07
Music: A Journey into Darkness, The Somme, A Purpose, and the Chosen One from Eternal Darkness
Music Chosen By: Myself
Premise: In the first ending of Eternal Darkness, Alex talks this way and I had to wonder. What happened to the Ancient that got left behind?
Thoughts on this Monologue: This was my first experiment with video editing. Not too bad for a first try I thought. I captured the footage myself. I'm happy with my Xel'lotath voice but overall I felt my Alex was really weak. I'm hoping in the other two with the other Ancients that it will turn out a fair bit better.
The Offer I Couldn't Refuse
Characters: Alex (Me) and Ulyaoth (TheShadowCookie - http://www.youtube.com/user/TheShadowCookie )
Music: A Journey into Darkness, The Somme, The Penchient, and the Chosen One from Eternal Darkness
Music Chosen By: Myself
Lines: Ulyaoth (Written by TheShadowCookie) and Alex (Rewritten by Myself)
Premise: In the first ending of Eternal Darkness, Alex talks this way and I had to wonder. What happened to the Ancient that got left behind?
Thoughts on this One: It was wonderful to work on with TheShadowCookie on this. He was a joy to work with and I had a lot of fun. I made a few mistakes as far as editing goes and two cutscenes weren't muted. So I hate that!
PLANS FOR THE FUTURE
The Offer I Couldn't Refuse - Chattur'gha Version
I would love critiques on these pieces of work.
YouTube Channel:
http://www.youtube.com/user/katrinonus
http://www.youtube.com/user/katrinonus
Katrinonus on
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http://www.youtube.com/user/katrinonus
Are you improvising in the moment or writing ahead of time? Improvising monologues is incredibly difficult. I only listened to your first Alice monologue because lets face it, you posted a ton, and the big issue that pops out is you are not only repeating yourself a lot but you aren't telling a story or moving plot forward. Like, if this was a play, that entire bit could get cut and we probably wouldn't lose anything.
And also, this would probably be better served at the Writers forum.
3DS Friend Code: 2165-6448-8348 www.Twitch.TV/cooljammer00
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I'm improvising on the spot and in the moment in character just something for fun.
http://www.youtube.com/user/katrinonus
Ok, well it sounds like you're focusing on things that you've read rather than creating additional content on top of it; aka repeating with different words. Do you do any other improv work?