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    nexuscrawlernexuscrawler Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Arch wrote: »
    Arch wrote: »
    Internet rule 527: any sexual reference made in Cass' presence will be taken to the worst most descriptive extreme possible

    i love this rule

    Arch said, making sure his family members weren't around before surreptitiously trying to hide his erection. The erection was like a baby kitten: fierce, but small and not capable of much, though you had to be careful to avoid the pointy bits.

    that video pretty much describes my sex life, yes

    protip: cut a hole in the watermelon first

    nexuscrawler on
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    Dread Pirate ArbuthnotDread Pirate Arbuthnot OMG WRIGGLY T O X O P L A S M O S I SRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    In that situation, just go for the gusto and forget about the condom. If you end up surviving, there's the morning after pill.

    What the fuck is this common sense shit

    Also what if Asian girl has hepAIDStis.

    Then you're FUCKED.

    Dread Pirate Arbuthnot on
  • Options
    WashWash Sweet Christmas Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Choco I am not going to stalk hot asian bassist and insure she consume the pill

    it's out there at that point

    my mans in her vagoo

    the balls are in her court

    Wash on
    gi5h0gjqwti1.jpg
  • Options
    LawndartLawndart Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Ludious wrote: »
    you guys are waaay too unashamed of sex and sex related things

    I cover my naked body at all times

    I have sex wearing a large knitted sweater with a picture of angry Jesus sown in

    He shows the disapproval for the carnal acts my flesh is too weak to resist

    Hopefully it's a double-sided sweater so angry Jesus can have two different facial expressions based on the position you find yourself in while he watches you make him cry.

    Lawndart on
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    ArchArch Neat-o, mosquito! Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Arch wrote: »
    I make sure that I am never more than 5 ft from a condom at any time

    its like that movie speed sort of

    occasionally someone will startle me and I'll have one on before I even get over the surprise

    its like a puffer fish kind of

    Arch on
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    TL DRTL DR Not at all confident in his reflexive opinions of thingsRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    I don't mind condoms

    TL DR on
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    Dread Pirate ArbuthnotDread Pirate Arbuthnot OMG WRIGGLY T O X O P L A S M O S I SRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Lawndart wrote: »
    Ludious wrote: »
    you guys are waaay too unashamed of sex and sex related things

    I cover my naked body at all times

    I have sex wearing a large knitted sweater with a picture of angry Jesus sown in

    He shows the disapproval for the carnal acts my flesh is too weak to resist

    Hopefully it's a double-sided sweater so angry Jesus can have two different facial expressions based on the position you find yourself in while he watches you make him cry.

    Doggy style is for whores

    and dogs

    I guess

    Dread Pirate Arbuthnot on
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    PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    I never liked condoms, made it too difficult to get off.

    Preacher on
    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
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    ThomamelasThomamelas Only one man can kill this many Russians. Bring his guitar to me! Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    BobCesca wrote: »
    do condoms really change sex that much for guys?

    This is something I wouldn't really know about, though I was always told (by the people telling you to use condoms) that it doesn't.

    A little. Not so much as to justify not using them.

    Thomamelas on
  • Options
    WashWash Sweet Christmas Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Lawndart wrote: »
    Ludious wrote: »
    you guys are waaay too unashamed of sex and sex related things

    I cover my naked body at all times

    I have sex wearing a large knitted sweater with a picture of angry Jesus sown in

    He shows the disapproval for the carnal acts my flesh is too weak to resist

    Hopefully it's a double-sided sweater so angry Jesus can have two different facial expressions based on the position you find yourself in while he watches you make him cry.

    Missionary upsets him, but cowgirl straight up enrages him

    Wash on
    gi5h0gjqwti1.jpg
  • Options
    Rear Admiral ChocoRear Admiral Choco I wanna be an owl, Jerry! Owl York CityRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    BobCesca wrote: »
    do condoms really change sex that much for guys?

    This is something I wouldn't really know about, though I was always told (by the people telling you to use condoms) that it doesn't.

    The way I've heard some people go on about it in the past apparently they must, but the odd time we tried it while using birth control I found it was better but in no way worth the risk, and ultimately it made my contempt for the sort of person who begs their girlfriend to go without grow that much higher.

    Rear Admiral Choco on
  • Options
    nexuscrawlernexuscrawler Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Lawndart wrote: »
    Ludious wrote: »
    you guys are waaay too unashamed of sex and sex related things

    I cover my naked body at all times

    I have sex wearing a large knitted sweater with a picture of angry Jesus sown in

    He shows the disapproval for the carnal acts my flesh is too weak to resist

    Hopefully it's a double-sided sweater so angry Jesus can have two different facial expressions based on the position you find yourself in while he watches you make him cry.

    jesus likes the reverse cowgirl

    nexuscrawler on
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    NocturneNocturne Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    I don't mind condoms

    Same here. I mean don't get me wrong, it feels better without one, but it's like comparing a piece of delicious chocolate cake to a piece of delicious chocolate cake with a bit less icing on top.

    Wait what were we talking about?

    Nocturne on
  • Options
    skippydumptruckskippydumptruck begin again Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Arch wrote: »
    Arch wrote: »
    I make sure that I am never more than 5 ft from a condom at any time

    its like that movie speed sort of

    occasionally someone will startle me and I'll have one on before I even get over the surprise

    its like a puffer fish kind of

    2vmwknl.jpg

    ladies

    skippydumptruck on
  • Options
    ElendilElendil Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Lawndart wrote: »
    Ludious wrote: »
    you guys are waaay too unashamed of sex and sex related things

    I cover my naked body at all times

    I have sex wearing a large knitted sweater with a picture of angry Jesus sown in

    He shows the disapproval for the carnal acts my flesh is too weak to resist

    Hopefully it's a double-sided sweater so angry Jesus can have two different facial expressions based on the position you find yourself in while he watches you make him cry.

    Missionary upsets him, but cowgirl straight up enrages him
    it also turns him on a little

    but that just makes him angrier

    Elendil on
  • Options
    nexuscrawlernexuscrawler Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    remind me to never surprise skippy's penis

    or order it at a sushi place

    nexuscrawler on
  • Options
    ArchArch Neat-o, mosquito! Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
  • Options
    BobCescaBobCesca Is a girl Birmingham, UKRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Thomamelas wrote: »
    BobCesca wrote: »
    do condoms really change sex that much for guys?

    This is something I wouldn't really know about, though I was always told (by the people telling you to use condoms) that it doesn't.

    A little. Not so much as to justify not using them.

    coolio.

    Personally, I always prefer using condoms to getting pregnant.

    BobCesca on
  • Options
    nstfnstf __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2010
    Nocturne wrote: »
    I don't mind condoms

    Same here. I mean don't get me wrong, it feels better without one, but it's like comparing a piece of delicious chocolate cake to a piece of delicious chocolate cake with a bit less icing on top.

    Wait what were we talking about?

    But do you use a dental damn?

    nstf on
  • Options
    skippydumptruckskippydumptruck begin again Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    but seriously I do loves me some puffer fishes

    skippydumptruck on
  • Options
    Rear Admiral ChocoRear Admiral Choco I wanna be an owl, Jerry! Owl York CityRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Choco I am not going to stalk hot asian bassist and insure she consume the pill

    it's out there at that point

    my mans in her vagoo

    the balls are in her court

    You're just going to hit it and quit it? No contact afterwards?

    Just get her number and straight up tell her that pill needs taken. Offer to pay for it if she won't go half in half.

    This is a strange hypothetical.

    Rear Admiral Choco on
  • Options
    LawndartLawndart Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    nstf wrote: »
    Nocturne wrote: »
    I don't mind condoms

    Same here. I mean don't get me wrong, it feels better without one, but it's like comparing a piece of delicious chocolate cake to a piece of delicious chocolate cake with a bit less icing on top.

    Wait what were we talking about?

    But do you use a dental damn?

    What is this, the Clinton administration?

    Lawndart on
  • Options
    PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    BobCesca wrote: »
    Thomamelas wrote: »
    BobCesca wrote: »
    do condoms really change sex that much for guys?

    This is something I wouldn't really know about, though I was always told (by the people telling you to use condoms) that it doesn't.

    A little. Not so much as to justify not using them.

    coolio.

    Personally, I always prefer using condoms to getting pregnant.

    What did they outlaws stairs and coat hangers in england?

    Preacher on
    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • Options
    nexuscrawlernexuscrawler Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Lawndart wrote: »
    nstf wrote: »
    Nocturne wrote: »
    I don't mind condoms

    Same here. I mean don't get me wrong, it feels better without one, but it's like comparing a piece of delicious chocolate cake to a piece of delicious chocolate cake with a bit less icing on top.

    Wait what were we talking about?

    But do you use a dental damn?

    What is this, the Clinton administration?

    lisa needs braces!

    nexuscrawler on
  • Options
    YamiNoSenshiYamiNoSenshi A point called Z In the complex planeRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Lawndart wrote: »
    Ludious wrote: »
    you guys are waaay too unashamed of sex and sex related things

    I cover my naked body at all times

    I have sex wearing a large knitted sweater with a picture of angry Jesus sown in

    He shows the disapproval for the carnal acts my flesh is too weak to resist

    Hopefully it's a double-sided sweater so angry Jesus can have two different facial expressions based on the position you find yourself in while he watches you make him cry.

    jesus likes the reverse cowgirl

    Reverse cowgirl is awesome.

    ...


    Am I sharing too much?

    YamiNoSenshi on
  • Options
    ThomamelasThomamelas Only one man can kill this many Russians. Bring his guitar to me! Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    BobCesca wrote: »
    Thomamelas wrote: »
    BobCesca wrote: »
    do condoms really change sex that much for guys?

    This is something I wouldn't really know about, though I was always told (by the people telling you to use condoms) that it doesn't.

    A little. Not so much as to justify not using them.

    coolio.

    Personally, I always prefer using condoms to getting pregnant.

    I preferred using them to getting a nasty disease. But I'm also someone who gets an STD screen every six months.

    Thomamelas on
  • Options
    BobCescaBobCesca Is a girl Birmingham, UKRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Lawndart wrote: »
    nstf wrote: »
    Nocturne wrote: »
    I don't mind condoms

    Same here. I mean don't get me wrong, it feels better without one, but it's like comparing a piece of delicious chocolate cake to a piece of delicious chocolate cake with a bit less icing on top.

    Wait what were we talking about?

    But do you use a dental damn?

    What is this, the Clinton administration?

    Trying to suggest to people they might want to include some dental dams with their bag of free condoms was always impossible.

    Kind of like the whole always use lube thing which we had to say (orders from the management, or something).

    BobCesca on
  • Options
    ElendilElendil Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Lawndart wrote: »
    Ludious wrote: »
    you guys are waaay too unashamed of sex and sex related things

    I cover my naked body at all times

    I have sex wearing a large knitted sweater with a picture of angry Jesus sown in

    He shows the disapproval for the carnal acts my flesh is too weak to resist

    Hopefully it's a double-sided sweater so angry Jesus can have two different facial expressions based on the position you find yourself in while he watches you make him cry.

    jesus likes the reverse cowgirl

    Reverse cowgirl is awesome.

    ...


    Am I sharing too much?
    no

    keep going

    Elendil on
  • Options
    Rear Admiral ChocoRear Admiral Choco I wanna be an owl, Jerry! Owl York CityRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Oh man, you know what would really suck? If you were in that hypothetical trapped-in-an-elevator-with-a-lady scenario and you two went at it, and then you came early.

    Rear Admiral Choco on
  • Options
    ArchArch Neat-o, mosquito! Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Lawndart wrote: »
    nstf wrote: »
    Nocturne wrote: »
    I don't mind condoms

    Same here. I mean don't get me wrong, it feels better without one, but it's like comparing a piece of delicious chocolate cake to a piece of delicious chocolate cake with a bit less icing on top.

    Wait what were we talking about?

    But do you use a dental damn?

    What is this, the Clinton administration?

    That reminds me, I found this book in the local goodwill the other day

    in the same bin as the bob jones university biology "textbook"

    i almost bought them both for the lulz

    Arch on
  • Options
    nexuscrawlernexuscrawler Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Lawndart wrote: »
    Ludious wrote: »
    you guys are waaay too unashamed of sex and sex related things

    I cover my naked body at all times

    I have sex wearing a large knitted sweater with a picture of angry Jesus sown in

    He shows the disapproval for the carnal acts my flesh is too weak to resist

    Hopefully it's a double-sided sweater so angry Jesus can have two different facial expressions based on the position you find yourself in while he watches you make him cry.

    jesus likes the reverse cowgirl

    Reverse cowgirl is awesome.

    ...


    Am I sharing too much?

    pics or it didn't happen

    nexuscrawler on
  • Options
    Dread Pirate ArbuthnotDread Pirate Arbuthnot OMG WRIGGLY T O X O P L A S M O S I SRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Choco I am not going to stalk hot asian bassist and insure she consume the pill

    it's out there at that point

    my mans in her vagoo

    the balls are in her court

    You're just going to hit it and quit it? No contact afterwards?

    Just get her number and straight up tell her that pill needs taken. Offer to pay for it if she won't go half in half.

    This is a strange hypothetical.

    and then when you have her address smear nutella over her windows and lick erotica messages in the creamy hazelnut concotion and watch her sleep

    Dread Pirate Arbuthnot on
  • Options
    DaxonDaxon Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Soooo civilization is pretty fun. I can see why people lose weeks to this game.

    Daxon on
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    NocturneNocturne Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Oh man, you know what would really suck? If you were in that hypothetical trapped-in-an-elevator-with-a-lady scenario and you two went at it, and then you came early.

    Well I figured we could die any minute sooooo

    Nocturne on
  • Options
    ArchArch Neat-o, mosquito! Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Choco I am not going to stalk hot asian bassist and insure she consume the pill

    it's out there at that point

    my mans in her vagoo

    the balls are in her court

    You're just going to hit it and quit it? No contact afterwards?

    Just get her number and straight up tell her that pill needs taken. Offer to pay for it if she won't go half in half.

    This is a strange hypothetical.

    and then when you have her address smear nutella over her windows and lick erotica messages in the creamy hazelnut concotion and watch her sleep

    wh...what

    Arch on
  • Options
    PotatoNinjaPotatoNinja Fake Gamer Goat Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Lawndart wrote: »
    Ludious wrote: »
    you guys are waaay too unashamed of sex and sex related things

    I cover my naked body at all times

    I have sex wearing a large knitted sweater with a picture of angry Jesus sown in

    He shows the disapproval for the carnal acts my flesh is too weak to resist

    Hopefully it's a double-sided sweater so angry Jesus can have two different facial expressions based on the position you find yourself in while he watches you make him cry.

    It needs something on the inside of the sweater, upside-down, like a picture of scary Raptor Jesus saying "give it to me baby!"

    So when they're just about finished you can lift up the sweater and go "SURPRISE JESUS ATTACK!"

    And really it would be useful for them too because after that they will never need to "think about baseball" ever again

    Although one of you might need therapy.

    PotatoNinja on
    Two goats enter, one car leaves
  • Options
    WashWash Sweet Christmas Registered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Choco I am not going to stalk hot asian bassist and insure she consume the pill

    it's out there at that point

    my mans in her vagoo

    the balls are in her court

    You're just going to hit it and quit it? No contact afterwards?

    Just get her number and straight up tell her that pill needs taken. Offer to pay for it if she won't go half in half.

    This is a strange hypothetical.

    Originally this was all for the lols but I now find it strange how trusting you would be of someone you'd just met

    I can't think of a scenario where I'd sleep with someone and trust them to be on/take a birth control pill, if that person wasn't a long time partner who felt the same about having children as I did. And has been tested alongside me and shared the results.

    Otherwise, condom all the time.

    Wash on
    gi5h0gjqwti1.jpg
  • Options
    ShivahnShivahn Unaware of her barrel shifter privilege Western coastal temptressRegistered User, Moderator mod
    edited June 2010
    I have... an intense dislike for condoms. I've never had sex, partially because the idea of wearing one makes me want to throw up, so I have to wait for a monogamous long-term disease-free relationship with someone who is on the pill.

    So yeah. I know it's extremely irrational, but as I've just chosen not to have sex, it works out well enough.

    Shivahn on
  • Options
    NerdgasmicNerdgasmic __BANNED USERS regular
    edited June 2010
    Choco I am not going to stalk hot asian bassist and insure she consume the pill

    it's out there at that point

    my mans in her vagoo

    the balls are in her court

    You're just going to hit it and quit it? No contact afterwards?

    Just get her number and straight up tell her that pill needs taken. Offer to pay for it if she won't go half in half.

    This is a strange hypothetical.

    and then when you have her address smear nutella over her windows and lick erotica messages in the creamy hazelnut concotion and watch her sleep

    did

    did you once do this to choco? :shock:

    Nerdgasmic on
  • Options
    BobCescaBobCesca Is a girl Birmingham, UKRegistered User regular
    edited June 2010
    Thomamelas wrote: »
    BobCesca wrote: »
    Thomamelas wrote: »
    BobCesca wrote: »
    do condoms really change sex that much for guys?

    This is something I wouldn't really know about, though I was always told (by the people telling you to use condoms) that it doesn't.

    A little. Not so much as to justify not using them.

    coolio.

    Personally, I always prefer using condoms to getting pregnant.

    I preferred using them to getting a nasty disease. But I'm also someone who gets an STD screen every six months.

    This is awesome.

    Before japan I used to get one before potential sexings with a new person and the regular 6 month checkup. The clinic in Glasgow is pretty awesome for this, and yet so many of my friends never really thought about it.

    BobCesca on
This discussion has been closed.