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Sleeping with my girlfriend
billwill
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Sorry, I mean it literally. No confused sex questions here (not yet, at least).
The problem is as follows: I move a lot while I'm trying to fall asleep. Switch to laying on my stomach, switch to on my back, to on my side, dozens of times. I'm also 6'4, so I generally take up the whole bed. I don't sleep in some tight little fetal position, no, I sprawl my legs out to both corners and my arms are usually hanging at some weird angle too.
Enter my girlfriend, who slept over for the first time last night. We fell asleep cuddling, but it took about three hours for me to finally nod off and a lot of willpower to not move my arm out from under her or shift my body. I then woke up a few hours later (detached from her somehow) and I had an even harder time trying to fall asleep. It's like someone just sliced my bed in half.
I know for sure that many other guys have gone through this, so I ask for advice on how to deal with it. Any technique I can use to go to sleep faster? Some strange chant from the Orient? Take some sleeping pills? Or just try and get used to it?
I'm hoping that the last solution I presented comes quickly, and I know I'm running to the interwebz for help after only one night, but I want a solution now. I can't take another sleepless night (especially since it looks like she's sleeping over again in the very near future).
Thanks!
P.S. I also really appreciate all your help in the other thread concerning her. Things are going absolutely great, and the political/height difference doesn't matter in the slightest.
The problem is as follows: I move a lot while I'm trying to fall asleep. Switch to laying on my stomach, switch to on my back, to on my side, dozens of times. I'm also 6'4, so I generally take up the whole bed. I don't sleep in some tight little fetal position, no, I sprawl my legs out to both corners and my arms are usually hanging at some weird angle too.
Enter my girlfriend, who slept over for the first time last night. We fell asleep cuddling, but it took about three hours for me to finally nod off and a lot of willpower to not move my arm out from under her or shift my body. I then woke up a few hours later (detached from her somehow) and I had an even harder time trying to fall asleep. It's like someone just sliced my bed in half.
I know for sure that many other guys have gone through this, so I ask for advice on how to deal with it. Any technique I can use to go to sleep faster? Some strange chant from the Orient? Take some sleeping pills? Or just try and get used to it?
I'm hoping that the last solution I presented comes quickly, and I know I'm running to the interwebz for help after only one night, but I want a solution now. I can't take another sleepless night (especially since it looks like she's sleeping over again in the very near future).
Thanks!
P.S. I also really appreciate all your help in the other thread concerning her. Things are going absolutely great, and the political/height difference doesn't matter in the slightest.
I hate you and you hate me.
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Although I've had some weird dreams when I took the stuff.
I never finish anyth
Best part!
I was the opposite way with an ex: I would fall asleep pretty immediately in whatever position, while she would toss and turn and fuck around with the blankets and so on. What we eventually realized is that I should get into a position where I'm not trapping her arm or tying up all the blankets or something and just fall asleep, and then she could do what she liked.
that's why we call it the struggle, you're supposed to sweat
Sleeping in the same bed rarely means cuddling all night.
In short, it's something you probably will get used to over time. Kinda like sleeping in a new bed, first few days are strange and sleepless, but you get over that quick.
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As for me, I'm a fairly heavy sleeper. She, on the other hand, is quite light.
Yeah, exactly this. It takes time and adaptation, especially if you haven't done it before. It was hell for me. I mean, it's nice sleeping with someone, but it's just different
Going to have to invest in a bigger bed.
Going to have to get used to sharing your bed with another person.
It's an adjustment since you've been sleeping by yourself for some time, but eventually you'll feel comfortable.
when we slept in the same bed, I didn't notice any of his sleeping behavior. Maybe he tried really hard not to move around, maybe I slept deeply enough not to notice
point is, the bed we slept on was tiny
If your bed is not an extra long twin made for one person and one person only, just move away from her when you're done cuddling and being cute. Fall asleep doing your normal stuff, she probably wont notice unless your flailing limbs hit her in the face. My little sister is guilty of this, I just push her away in the night and then complain the next morning.
uh... hopefully it wont turn out with complaining...
Ya. I thought this at first, but quickly learned that that isn't how it worked. :P We start cuddling, then when we're relaxed we separate to actually sleep. Or, we'll just plop into bed and skip the cuddling.
If this is your first time sleeping with someone else, it'll take some time to get used to. Hang in there!
A bigger bed is your best bet.
So yeah, the bigger the bed, the better. Also allows more room for pre-sleep gymnastics.
If this is going to be a long term thing - I haven't read your other thread - get a king bed. I am tall myself, and nothing short of a king is going to be suitable.
Don't feel obligated to cuddle/touch/whatever. You go to bed to sleep for multiple reasons. You need rest, you need to recharge, you need to relax. Part of doing that is being comfortable for *you*. Everyone has a different sleeping style and position and compromises will need to be made.
My wife and I have been in the same bed for years, but we have different needs. I cannot have her touching me, and I am a stomach sleeper - both are not conducive to cuddling. Her only requirement is that we be in the same bed for her to sleep soundly. She agrees to not touch me, I agree to stay in the same bed - we agree to be content and happy.
That's how I see it - take it however you want.
I usually cuddle for a few minutes the roll over and do my thing.
Also if don't stick your arm under her it wont get stuck.
Satans..... hints.....
Funny, I'm the exact same way. To the point that when I was living with a girlfriend last year, during the middle of the winter I would sleep outside the covers curled up with her, as I would simply roast and couldn't sleep at all if I were under them with her.
This is how we do it and we have a queen as well.
Also you shouldn't cuddle all night.
Pull a part after a bit and relax your body.
Sleep will come.
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but they're listening to every word I say
Learning to do that in a single bed in residence means however I can now fall asleep on pretty much anything with anyone.
And then roll over on them. And then get mad when you pull them out from under them at 3:00 in the morning and then they put a pillow between you so you feel guilty for hours and then they don't even remember it the next day.
My wife and I manage to get by with a Queen bed, my toes dip over occasionally if I don't scoot up since I'm pretty tall. Half of the problem is definitely just getting used to having another mass there.
Possibly just the tiniest bit NSFW.
That website is hilarious!!!
I am a really heavy sleeper to the point where I sleep through fire alarms and earthquakes, but put me in a bed with another person and I'll wake with a jolt several times a night. It's scared several partners and I still haven't quite learned to deal with it, but I think it's partly due to not being able to be my childish kick-the-covers-around self and partly due to taking a long time to trust someone sleeping in the same bed as me (although that's probably an issue for another thread).
EDIT: What did help (and what I originally meant to post) was her moving slightly down the bed and resting her head on my chest, with her fitting into the crook of my arm. It leaves you with a fairly neutral and comfortable lying position and if she needs to move away she can and you can slide out from under her without disturbing her much.
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Myhusband is 6' and I am 5'3" hovwever I am a large person (read fatty) but we started on a double bed. How we do it since I perfer to sleep on my tummy and him on his side is that he spoons me for a bit (getting in some boob grabbing) then rolls over. I then get to lie beside him with my side snuzzled up against his back. Mind you I suggest that If you ever have children get a KING. I love our king and going from the double to it was like heaven. It is also a godsend if you have children. No matter how good your intentions are that child will eventually be able to hike themselves into your room at o'dark hundred and claim both your sides of the bed.
I echo what others are saying in that you don't really cuddle all night long. We start that way but by the next morning we are facing oposote ways and I have a good amount of space between us since he gives of heat like a neuclear reactor and I hate to sweat while sleeping.
Another plus to the king is if/when your other half is preggers it will give you lots of space in that last month or so when she needs 10 thousand pillows to be even a little bit comfy.
We used to try do do that whole "cuddle all night" thing, but it doesn't happen. I just can't stay put all night. So normally I wait for her to fall asleep and then go to sleep however I can. I generally wake up before her so I just start cuddling before the alarm goes off and boom the illusion of all night cuddling is complete lol.
We've found the best thing to do is use different blankets. We use a common comforter but have different sheets and blankets, this way we don't steal each others blankets or sheets.
I too feel your pain though, about the tossing ant turning before sleep; especially when it's really humid. On those nights, she can frikkin' well have the bloody sheets, but it doesn't help.
Learning to will yourself to sleep might be of use, though when I'm really tired I often forget how, or that I even can, so this one is of marginal utility.
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You will never get a good night of sleep if you fall asleep cuddling.
I presume you do have a queen or king-size bed?
If you have a queen, try upgrading to king-size if money permits. And if you do have a queen or king size, you're being unreasonable if it feels like you don't have enough room. Tell your girlfriend that you can't fall asleep cuddling, and you need to fix the "sprawling on the bed" thing.
And if you don't have a queen or king-size, don't expect a good night sleep with two people in one bed. Double beds are useless and terrible.
Sex is hit and miss, more times than not it wakes me up.