The new forums will be named Coin Return (based on the most recent vote)! You can check on the status and timeline of the transition to the new forums here.
The Guiding Principles and New Rules document is now in effect.
help with men
republic of me
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Does any one have a fool proof system of decideing between an undesclosed number of men? I am at the point where i realy have to choose one. I havent had sex with any of them im not a whore but i have a number of male friends who want to take things further. i dont actualy know how i arrived at this situation.
and also why do men all arive in your life at once?
a point scoreing questionare would be idillic but anything else you have to offer would be kindly appreciated
and also why do men all arive in your life at once?
a point scoreing questionare would be idillic but anything else you have to offer would be kindly appreciated
republic of me on
0
This discussion has been closed.
Posts
How old are you?
EDIT: Nevermind. 19.
Do you even want to take things further with any of these male friends? If you do not, you need to make it clear to them. It's cool to have male friends. It is not cool to have male friends that are only your friends because they want to sleep with you and you have somehow implied to them it might be possible if they stick around and do your bidding long enough.
Do you want a boyfriend? A friend with benefits (or three)? A makeout buddy(or six)? A guy that you go to parties with and only touch/fuck when you are both plastered?
Do you want to have sex? Do you want to have sex with any of these male friends? Do you want to have sex but only if you are boyfriend/girlfriend and have declared some sort of undying love for each other?
Do you even know what you want? If you can't articulate your own needs/wishes/desires, no boy on earth is going to be able to magically fulfill them for you.
All that being said, I've found that when I have been in the position where I am dating more than one boy at a time, it often becomes very obvious which one turns my crank more. Start going on dates, if that's what you want. Have a good time. And when you start feeling feelings, you'll know.
you then have hussan, hes sexy, kind, romantic and not that it matters but hes indian, but i dont feel masivly for him in the sense of love
then you have brendan. tall, blonde, quiet, respectful. but he is too quiet to talk to times unless hes had a few drinks. and i have kissed him but he is terrible at it (and that only happened because we were both drunk but he now wants me to be his girlfriend and go to his brothers wedding with him)
Alan, very goodlooking if he cut his hair (has very curly hair) came to me when he found me crying over eddie when we had a row, thats when we first met. he was a kind stranger who tourned into more, but he is involved with another woman.
and lastly jonathan, nice to me, kind, generous but i think he just wants me to have a shot at getting custody of his daughter sofia
look, all you can do is hang out with all of them as friends and see who clicks best with you. no one has to be "the one" in this case, you don't have to date anyone.
don't pressure yourself, don't pressure any of them.
i advise strongly against sex because some people see that as an intimate and romantic venture and you don't want one dude to think he has you because of that - unless you're very, very clear that is just a physical activity at that point. try not to hurt any one, though in this case, you probably will regardless.
it sounds like you're looking for someone to stay with long term and the sad truth is that whichever dude you pick could be terrible for you - at the same ratio that he could be perfect for you, in the long run.
i agree with what lone said - try and imagine scenarios with each of them - who would be most open to talking about problems in the relationship? that's very important, and a necessary part of a relationship. who has similar views/values to you when it comes to future goals? kids? big house? small apartment?
in the end you should be with whomever you love and screw all the rest of it - but yeah, it can be really hard to gauge who you might fall in love with ... because sometimes you just can't tell.
alan is great except he wants me to wait until himself and his gf break up. hes waiting until she gets a job and can support herself. she lost hers recently
theres something good about each of them
You said you feel mostly for him, but you think it still won't work. What does that say about the other guys?
You're not supposed to feel love yet. You're not even dating, nor can you decide on a guy, so really, love should be the last thing on your mind at all. If anything, go on a date and see how it goes. It seems like you have the least to complain about with this guy, besides the fact that he's Indian (was this even a complaint? It seems like one, but I can't tell), and you don't think you love him/could love him (???). See where it goes is my advice for this one.
He's bad as kissing, he's too quiet. You've already made up your mind that you don't want to date him, it seems.
He's involved with another woman. Case closed.
That's creepy.
Check out my art! Buy some prints!
Yeah, well you can't do that. And there's something good about everyone. It doesn't make them worth being with though. Who says you have to pick any of them anyway? You do realize how many people there are on the planet?
EDIT: All you're really doing is rambling on about these guys. You're not really presenting anything to us. It's like you're just using this to muse. You should probably come up with a more definite question. This is all really vague.
Limed for the straight up fuckin' truth. Do you really want to start a relationship that began with deceit?
Check out my art! Buy some prints!
If you don't want to go out with any of them, then don't. Someone else will come along eventually that you'll be head over heels for, and you won't remember why you wanted any of these guys.
That limed part so hard. My last girl was like that, fuckin horrible.
Seriously.
Also, you have yet to say what you are actually looking for? Do you want a boyfriend? A fuckbuddy? Someone to cuddle with and watch movies?
Based on this lack of info, it seems more likely that you should just stick to being friends with all of these guys,. If you were really into one of them you wouldn't be on this board asking for advice about this.
This topic seems grossly immature, anyway.
Save you and them trouble and keep the arrangement you have or find a new guy and try to stick to one.
And telling her to go ahead and sleep with everyone is a mature way of responding?
Out of all these blokes, he seems the winner if you have too have anything, but bad kisser...THAT CAN BE IMPROVED, but talk to him about the being his girlfriend thing just don't leave him hanging.
That said, from your list there are two I would stay far away from.
Alan - "Involved with another woman." BZZZT! Strike him from the list.
Eddie - You're 19? Getting involved with someone "much older" than you at 19 is usually a horrible idea.