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There is this hobo who lives in Austin...

TheSonicRetardTheSonicRetard Registered User regular
edited January 2007 in Social Entropy++
His name is Leslie, and he runs for mayor ever year.
Leslie is a tranvestite male who wears high heals and a thong.
He campaigns out of a local burger king every year.
He came in 3rd in the Austin mayoral election last time.

n432149_31447758_5033.jpg

Thats a picture of Leslie.

I know lots of interesting hobos, oddly enough.

There is this one hobo who lives in Nasa named Dancing Dave. I mean, litterally, he changed his name to Dancing Dave in the 1990's. He's an vietnam vet who screams when he talks. He always tells people that 1986 was the best year, because thats the year his wife left him.

He wears a cowboy hat, chaps, a belt with turn signals on it, a bleach-white vest, a small cape, cowboy boots, tons of gold chains, a small pink tutu, and a zorro mask every day.

there's a club near nasa called the hop. they only play music from the 1950's, and only old, old, old women go. Like, 70-80 year olds. He goes every night, at 5 (so he can avoid the cover charge) and dances all night long. By himself.

His catchphrase is "Everybody let's get dancing now!"

Share some of your more memorable hobo experiences.

TheSonicRetard on
«13

Posts

  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    3rd of how many

    Faricazy on
  • ScrumtrulescentScrumtrulescent Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    I have the feeling this has been done

    Scrumtrulescent on
  • GunstarGunstar Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    If the topic was just interesting city dwellers, I enjoy the asian guy with long hair who skateboards around wicker park, and stop occasionally on a corner to do aerobics. Did I mention he's wearing shiny gold spandex-shorts and high tube socks and no shirt?

    On topic there's a hobo by my school who has 2 shopping carts, and he pushes one shopping cart a block, walks back and pushes the other to catch up.

    Gunstar on
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  • J. GrantJ. Grant Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited January 2007
    I met a hobo in downtown Los Angeles in 1994 at 4 am.

    I'm almost totally convinced that if there is a devil, he was it.

    J. Grant on
  • TheSonicRetardTheSonicRetard Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Faricazy wrote:
    3rd of how many

    A lot. I can't remember how many people ran, but I know he defeated a lot of people.

    TheSonicRetard on
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator Mod Emeritus
    edited January 2007
    onamotherfuckersass


    eccentric hobos shall inherit the earth, mark my words

    Rankenphile on
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  • ShimShamShimSham Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    The thread title sounds like the beginning of a great song.

    There is, a hobo in Austin TX.
    they call, the hobo, Leslie
    he campaigns out of a local Burger King
    and God bless, he's fun


    I'll stop.

    ShimSham on
  • GABBO GABBO GABBOGABBO GABBO GABBO Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    J. Grant wrote:
    I met a hobo in downtown Los Angeles in 1994 at 4 am.

    I'm almost totally convinced that if there is a devil, he was it.

    You don't know hobos until you know a battle hardened downtown LA hobo.

    GABBO GABBO GABBO on
  • FaricazyFaricazy Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Faricazy wrote:
    3rd of how many

    A lot. I can't remember how many people ran, but I know he defeated a lot of people.
    good show

    I once met a hobo who strongly felt that people with homes should in fact be in their homes and not outside walking around, because if he had a home, for example, he would occupy his entire day with eating, sleeping, watching TV and fucking.



    He had a point.

    Faricazy on
  • designMcGeedesignMcGee Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Our hobos just eat at Panchero's and hang out in front of campus all day.

    Literally there was some homeless dude sitting on a bench for about 8 hours straight. I suppose he didn't have anything better to do, though.

    Cops here found a hobo dead in the river that runs through campus.

    designMcGee on
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  • mackingtheknifemackingtheknife __BANNED USERS regular
    edited January 2007
    during "homeless awareness week"

    jermaine and i stole things from this group of college students who were
    "pretending to be homeless for a night in order to better sympathize with the homeless"
    while they were inside a theater eating free popcorn and watching RENT

    it was quite possibly the worst thing i had ever seen

    mackingtheknife on
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  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Baltimore hobos are fun. Give them a cig and they regale you with awesome stories.

    D.C. hobos are just lazy and dangerous

    lostwords on
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  • The Otaku SuppositoryThe Otaku Suppository Bawstan New EnglandRegistered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Atlanta hobos are fucking insane. They will follow you for blocks trying to convince you to give them money.

    The Otaku Suppository on
  • TheSonicRetardTheSonicRetard Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    lostwords wrote:
    Baltimore hobos are fun. Give them a cig and they regale you with awesome stories.

    D.C. hobos are just lazy and dangerous

    Our hobos suck. They're either crazy, or they're a part of this weird, city-wide clique of trendy homeless people called the Drag Rats.

    Drag Rats are really weird. Like, they'll follow you around for long periods of time asking to be your friend. Or they'll tell you that you can punch them in the face for $20.

    TheSonicRetard on
  • Dely AppleDely Apple Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    San Francisco Hobos are like the kobolds of the hobo world. Plentiful, annoying and do not let you take candle.

    Dely Apple on
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  • mackingtheknifemackingtheknife __BANNED USERS regular
    edited January 2007
    Atlanta hobos are fucking insane. They will follow you for blocks trying to convince you to give them money.

    last time i was in atlanta there was a female hobo crapping on the sidewalk

    i was like, "oh, atlanta hobos"

    mackingtheknife on
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  • CalliusCallius Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    lostwords wrote:
    Baltimore hobos are fun. Give them a cig and they regale you with awesome stories.

    D.C. hobos are just lazy and dangerous

    Man, Baltimore has the highest percentage of mental illness among their homeless population than any other city. Or, at least, I've read as much.

    PS: Hobos are train riders, not homeless people. You all suck.

    Callius on
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  • TheSonicRetardTheSonicRetard Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Callius wrote:
    lostwords wrote:
    Baltimore hobos are fun. Give them a cig and they regale you with awesome stories.

    D.C. hobos are just lazy and dangerous

    Man, Baltimore has the highest percentage of mental illness among their homeless population than any other city. Or, at least, I've read as much.

    PS: Hobos are train riders, not homeless people. You all suck.

    There's a train that runs through austin. I'm more than sure that these hobos ride the train occasionally.

    TheSonicRetard on
  • redimpulseredimpulse Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    There was a hobo in my hometown named Charles. It was a small town, so everyone knew Charles.

    He'd walk around screaming anti-everything sentiment at top volume. Usually it was hilarious. One day, he walked up to the gas station I was in, screaming as usual. He stepped inside, calmly walked up to the attendant and purchased a pack of Marlboro reds. Then calmly walked back outside and continued on his tirade.

    This was the last time Charles was seen. He may have been hit by an oil truck.

    redimpulse on
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  • The Otaku SuppositoryThe Otaku Suppository Bawstan New EnglandRegistered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Callius wrote:
    lostwords wrote:
    Baltimore hobos are fun. Give them a cig and they regale you with awesome stories.

    D.C. hobos are just lazy and dangerous

    Man, Baltimore has the highest percentage of mental illness among their homeless population than any other city. Or, at least, I've read as much.

    PS: Hobos are train riders, not homeless people. You all suck.

    So everytime I ride Metro or the T, I'm a hobo? Sweet.

    The Otaku Suppository on
  • MenaceMenace regular
    edited January 2007
    when i went to a Stones concert i had to park far away and walk a few blocks along with a lot of people

    this one hobo walked along with us, claiming mick jagger probably had laryngitis and that he was a better singer now

    then he began loudly singing a stones song (i believe it was honky tonk woman)

    good times

    Menace on
  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Callius wrote:
    lostwords wrote:
    Baltimore hobos are fun. Give them a cig and they regale you with awesome stories.

    D.C. hobos are just lazy and dangerous

    Man, Baltimore has the highest percentage of mental illness among their homeless population than any other city. Or, at least, I've read as much.

    PS: Hobos are train riders, not homeless people. You all suck.

    There's a train that runs through austin. I'm more than sure that these hobos ride the train occasionally.

    On the DC Metro one day, a hobo was talking to himself in an angry voice. All of a sudden, he turns to a nearby mother holding an infant and starts yelling at the baby for a good two minutes. Baby starts crying, mother is just stunned into silence, and the metro police is called to our car, where he makes his hasty getaway, calling every person he sees racist as he exits. It was awesome.

    lostwords on
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  • TheSonicRetardTheSonicRetard Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    redimpulse wrote:
    There was a hobo in my hometown named Charles. It was a small town, so everyone knew Charles.

    He'd walk around screaming anti-everything sentiment at top volume. Usually it was hilarious. One day, he walked up to the gas station I was in, screaming as usual. He stepped inside, calmly walked up to the attendant and purchased a pack of Marlboro reds. Then calmly walked back outside and continued on his tirade.

    This was the last time Charles was seen. He may have been hit by an oil truck.

    Thats sad

    TheSonicRetard on
  • RaneadosRaneados police apologist you shouldn't have been there, obviouslyRegistered User regular
    edited January 2007
    lostwords wrote:
    Callius wrote:
    lostwords wrote:
    Baltimore hobos are fun. Give them a cig and they regale you with awesome stories.

    D.C. hobos are just lazy and dangerous

    Man, Baltimore has the highest percentage of mental illness among their homeless population than any other city. Or, at least, I've read as much.

    PS: Hobos are train riders, not homeless people. You all suck.

    There's a train that runs through austin. I'm more than sure that these hobos ride the train occasionally.

    On the DC Metro one day, a hobo was talking to himself in an angry voice. All of a sudden, he turns to a nearby mother holding an infant and starts yelling at the baby for a good two minutes. Baby starts crying, mother is just stunned into silence, and the metro police is called to our car, where he makes his hasty getaway, calling every person he sees racist as he exits. It was awesome.

    was he black?

    Raneados on
  • mackingtheknifemackingtheknife __BANNED USERS regular
    edited January 2007
    Callius wrote:
    lostwords wrote:
    Baltimore hobos are fun. Give them a cig and they regale you with awesome stories.

    D.C. hobos are just lazy and dangerous

    Man, Baltimore has the highest percentage of mental illness among their homeless population than any other city. Or, at least, I've read as much.

    PS: Hobos are train riders, not homeless people. You all suck.

    they don't have to ride trains
    just as long as they travel and work they are considered "hobos"

    but i'm pretty sure the culture is too dead to be arguing about it

    mackingtheknife on
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  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Faricazy wrote:
    3rd of how many

    A lot. I can't remember how many people ran, but I know he defeated a lot of people.

    Which political party was he?

    Drez on
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  • The Otaku SuppositoryThe Otaku Suppository Bawstan New EnglandRegistered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Drez wrote:
    Faricazy wrote:
    3rd of how many

    A lot. I can't remember how many people ran, but I know he defeated a lot of people.

    Which political party was he?

    National Socialist Workers Party

    The Otaku Suppository on
  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Raneados wrote:
    lostwords wrote:
    Callius wrote:
    lostwords wrote:
    Baltimore hobos are fun. Give them a cig and they regale you with awesome stories.

    D.C. hobos are just lazy and dangerous

    Man, Baltimore has the highest percentage of mental illness among their homeless population than any other city. Or, at least, I've read as much.

    PS: Hobos are train riders, not homeless people. You all suck.

    There's a train that runs through austin. I'm more than sure that these hobos ride the train occasionally.

    On the DC Metro one day, a hobo was talking to himself in an angry voice. All of a sudden, he turns to a nearby mother holding an infant and starts yelling at the baby for a good two minutes. Baby starts crying, mother is just stunned into silence, and the metro police is called to our car, where he makes his hasty getaway, calling every person he sees racist as he exits. It was awesome.

    was he black?

    yes. The highlight, other than the baby crying, was seeing this huge suave black guy in a business suit that costs more than my car being physically restrained from going after the dude after his whole racist tirade. DC Metro: where the fun never stops.

    lostwords on
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  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Drez wrote:
    Faricazy wrote:
    3rd of how many

    A lot. I can't remember how many people ran, but I know he defeated a lot of people.

    Which political party was he?

    National Socialist Workers Party

    But I thought the Nazis already control Texas (and the US).

    Drez on
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  • IpseDixitIpseDixit Treat me like a pirate And give me that bootyRegistered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Dely Apple wrote:
    San Francisco Hobos are like the kobolds of the hobo world. Plentiful, annoying and do not let you take candle.
    I was eating at a McDonalds in SF (I know diabeetus M I RITE, fuck you I was hungry and couldn't find anything better) and there was a homeless guy with crutches and a cast on his foot in the restaraunt. He ordered but couldn't carry his food to his table so he asked me and my friend if we could help so we did. He then proceeded to tell us how he was sleeping on the sidewalk and a bus ran over his foot which is why he had the cast on his foot. He then told us how he was sleeping and when he woke up ants were crawling into his cast. He was actually a nice guy and didn't seem completely insane like most homeless people.

    IpseDixit on
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  • CalliusCallius Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Callius wrote:
    lostwords wrote:
    Baltimore hobos are fun. Give them a cig and they regale you with awesome stories.

    D.C. hobos are just lazy and dangerous

    Man, Baltimore has the highest percentage of mental illness among their homeless population than any other city. Or, at least, I've read as much.

    PS: Hobos are train riders, not homeless people. You all suck.

    they don't have to ride trains
    just as long as they travel and work they are considered "hobos"

    but i'm pretty sure the culture is too dead to be arguing about it

    I'm pretty sure you're wrong.

    Callius on
    tonksigblack.png
  • TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Boston Hobos don't last long. Unless they are on the T or it's summer. This has been a warm winter though so we may see a surge in the hobo population.

    Other fun name for homeless:
    Transients

    What's yours?

    TankHammer on
  • CalliusCallius Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Boston Hobos don't last long. Unless they are on the T or it's summer. This has been a warm winter though so we may see a surge in the hobo population.

    Plus, Boston deals with the homeless problem by categorically ignoring it.

    Callius on
    tonksigblack.png
  • TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Callius wrote:
    Boston Hobos don't last long. Unless they are on the T or it's summer. This has been a warm winter though so we may see a surge in the hobo population.

    Plus, Boston deals with the homeless problem by categorically ignoring it.
    It worked for Ted Kennedy's drinking problem. Went away on its own.

    TankHammer on
  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited January 2007
    Man, placing 3rd in an election doesn't really mean much. It's easy to beat out a bunch of faceless nobodies that haven't a chance of winning either as long as you're memorable because there are always the dumbshits who will vote for some oddball freak because they think it's funny rather than voting for the candidate that they actually think would be best. I could probably place third in a local election if I was willing to act really eccentric so I could get some free publicity and get people to remember me.

    Druhim on
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  • Darth WaiterDarth Waiter Elrond Hubbard Mordor XenuRegistered User regular
    edited January 2007
    Druhim wrote:
    Man, placing 3rd in an election doesn't really mean much. It's easy to beat out a bunch of faceless nobodies that haven't a chance of winning either as long as you're memorable because there are always the dumbshits who will vote for some oddball freak because they think it's funny rather than voting for the candidate that they actually think would be best. I could probably place third in a local election if I was willing to act really eccentric so I could get some free publicity and get people to remember me.

    RE: Kinky Friedman of Texas.

    Darth Waiter on
  • J. GrantJ. Grant Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited January 2007
    Manifest wrote:
    J. Grant wrote:
    I met a hobo in downtown Los Angeles in 1994 at 4 am.

    I'm almost totally convinced that if there is a devil, he was it.

    You don't know hobos until you know a battle hardened downtown LA hobo.

    That one... he's come to end us all.

    J. Grant on
  • As7As7 Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    I'm not sure if he was homeless but there was a guy in one of my childhood neighborhoods who would walk up and down the talking to himself.

    He would put his hand in his shirt, like a sock puppet and say weird things to it.

    One day I see him doing this and he is quite irate.

    He is essentially talking very loudly and cursing out the shirt puppet.

    I think I walked away swiftly and hid.

    I hope that guy got some help.

    As7 on
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  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited January 2007
    My family moved to the Seattle area back in '78 when I was 12. We lived across Lake Washington in what is locally just called the Eastside, although we lived even on the edge of the Eastside out in Woodinville, which was very rural back then. Didn't spend much time in Seattle proper most of my teen years but I remember my first experience downtown quite vividly. It was just a few months after we had moved here and the whole family went into the city for the day.

    My parents gave us a lot of independence as kids so the three of us were walking around near Pike Place Market while our parents were off doing something else. My older brother and sister were with me and I'll never forget standing on a street corner waiting to cross when this very drunk guy that I remember being Native American and seemed to be 8 feet tall (again I was 12) walked up to us, reared his fist back like he was about to punch one of us, and loudly exclaimed to us as a group, "I'm tough!"

    My brother, the second oldest, promptly scooted across the street while my sister and I just froze in shock as he repeated a few more times that he was tough, in case we didn't believe him the first time. Then, like most drunks, he lost interest and meandered off.

    Druhim on
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  • WezoinWezoin Registered User regular
    edited January 2007
    I once paid a hobo in Toronto to sexually molest my teacher.

    Also, I once met a hobo named Jesus Christ, who shouted awesome lines like "I EAT THE FOOD THAT MAKES ME POOP!"

    Wezoin on
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