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Time-Traveling
Zonugal
(He/Him) The Holiday ArmadilloI'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User, Transition Team regular
(He/Him) The Holiday ArmadilloI'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User, Transition Team regular
"Man ... can go up against gravitation in a balloon, and why should he not hope that ultimately he may be able to stop or accelerate his drift along the Time-Dimension, or even turn about and travel the other way," H.G. WELLS, The Time Machine
Within this thread I will instruct you in how to, in a single night, time travel across vast planes of existence while maintaining an awesome time. This process is known to a few great individuals but is practiced by many others. Only through careful practice & training can one hope to achieve ease of traveling through time itself.
First, let us start off with definition
Time-Traveling' wrote:A blackout is a phenomenon caused by the intake of alcohol or other substance in which long term memory creation is impaired or there is a complete inability to recall the past. Blackouts are frequently described as having effects similar to that of anterograde amnesia, in which the subject cannot create memories after the event that caused amnesia. 'Blacking out' is not to be confused with the mutually exclusive act of 'passing out', which means loss of consciousness.
Blackouts can generally be divided into two categories, "en bloc" blackouts, and "fragmentary" blackouts. En bloc blackouts are classified by the inability to later recall any memories from the intoxicated period, even when prompted. These blackouts are characterized also by the ability to easily recall things that have occurred within the last 2 minutes, yet inability to recall anything prior to this period. As such, a person experiencing an en bloc blackout may not appear to be doing so, as they can carry on conversations or even manage to accomplish difficult feats. It is difficult to determine the end of this type of blackout as sleep typically occurs before they end.[6] Fragmentary blackouts are characterized by the ability to recall certain events from an intoxicated period, yet be unaware that other memories are missing until reminded of the existence of these 'gaps' in memory.
With that said you want to try to achieve a "fragmentary" blackout instead of an "en bloc" blackout. "Fragmentary" blackout is going to let you achieve the all the positive aspects of an evening while cutting out the negative parts such as traveling, urinating in the street or any other numerous 'filler' between your great moments.
Just think of "fragmentary" blackouts as removing all those lame scenes you never want to watch in a film. When you are time traveling every moment is going to be like a Michael Bay summer blockbuster!
Next ally yourself.
Within the process of time-traveling you're going to want to have allied yourself with a trusted and reliable individual to accompany you on your adventure. While friends are suitable the position is easily filled by sort-of-known colleagues and honest looking strangers. This is crucial as while you will be jumping over the lame scenes of the night you need some one to keep you on your mission and properly navigate.
All of these are perfect time-traveling companions:
Finally provide the proper fuel.
The final stage is preparing the very personal-fuel which will sky rocket you into the galaxies between our galaxy. This can take a while and I'm not going to lie will be expensive. Some may get lucky while other search their entire lives looking for the perfect combination. You want to find the specific drinks and order in which you consume them to create your own time-traveling gasoline. Mine just so happens to be two Long Island Ice Teas followed up by a Double Caribou Lou within maybe 30-45 minutes. This typically will cost me $15-20 which seems steep but remember you aren't just paying for alcohol but for an adventure!
While your friends wake up the next morning with stiff knees and a rough stomach, you will awake with the amazing gift of having endured a terrific night as well as the soon to be process of piecing together what you in fact achieved the previous evening. Its a great night with a mystery novel thrown in for free!
In closing, let us discuss our favorite methods for time-traveling, our favorite stories concerning jumping through time and where we hope to jump next.
Zonugal on
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Posts
makin out with Eloi
shootin Morlocks
YES
THE BAKULA DRACULA RISES AGAIN
and yes this is a legitimate nickname, he plays a "vampire" in one episode
never again
so much shit could go on that could go bad
quite a few college students have wandered into the mississippi
i also bothered a couple folks on the internet
never let me near a bottle of jack again
i'll try and brush my teeth with it
THOROUGHLY EMBARRASSED MYSELF
you have learned your lesson though, that is what is important
right?
The ideal black out is where you lose a portion of the evening but you remember book-ends to the lost memory.
And why do I like them? Because the next morning I get to play detective and I love a classic mystery.
drank a bunch of wine, like, a lot, at about 9:45 at night. woke up on a couch at 7:30 in the morning, don't remember any of the party.
at breakfast,
"hey, dwyer, did you... come into my room last night?"
"I don't think so?" A sudden fragment of a memory, me, in the dark, kind of scared. "...maybe."
"You came into my room, fell over, and then crawled back out, apologized, told me I had a nice room, apologized again, and closed the door."
"Sorry."
she was cool with it, though! and soon I got to go into her room invited and not blindingly drunk and I stayed for a while too
it has a certain charm, sometimes you just wanna get retarded
themoreyouknow.jpg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3Yp_gdAHHE
???
I just sit in the corner with a damp rag on my head until the desire to start a clothing line goes away.
I always remember everything
Honestly, I like being the only person that remembers exactly what happened the night before. Makes for interesting conversations the next day.
yes this is the reference i was making
I'm telling you... You have to find your perfect time-travel fuel.
Oh god we've got to get to a club!
But it's 11AM!
Doesn't matter!
inject everclear right into your veins
To be fair, it saved you from having to watch more of Beerfest.
but but...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7g0AJPqKybs
ever heard of Wild Zero?
the movie has its own drinking game that you can turn on while you watch the movie
it gets ridiculous though when they start killing tons of zombies and blowing things up
Yeah but to do this you would have to watch Wild Zero...
I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!
like, a LOT
I've bought so many white suits, Ipse.
So many.
It wasn't that bad
ok maybe a little
still was ridiculous enough to be funny
Oh really I didn't know you had to
never yacked neither
guess i'm just not a baby
Everything i'm about to tell you is secondhand knowledge I learned the day after from my friends at the party.
This is the last thing I remember from that night.
And here's what i'm told happened. I became, savagely, belligerently, and dangerously drunk. My friend russell is/was one of my dearest friends, I'd known him all throughout high school. He was also an army ranger with a very pretty girlfriend. For some reason, and don't ask me because I can't fucking remember, I thought he'd look better at the party...naked.
So, drunker than i've ever been, I proceeded to tackle an army ranger, and strip him. While i'm doing this, his girlfriend is sitting in the background giggling. Apparently, this enraged me. So, while i'm in the middle of ripping my friends shirt off, I proceeded to call his girlfriend every vile synonym for "prostitute" I could think of before ending my vile tirade with going up to her, grabbing her breasts, and saying that she felt like a wicker chair.
Because you see, when fedora taunts the bull, he really really taunts the bull.
I don't know what happened after that, but I have a feeling it has something to do with why my wrist felt sprained in the morning, and why no one would tell me how I got hurt.
After that, there was a half naked dance party and I vomited on three different rugs in my friends house.
At about 3 in the morning, half naked, on the cold hard floor covered in my own vomit my friends decided to "wake me up" to make sure I wasn't going to die. My friend russell even offered to give me an IV drip with some sort of solution he said all his buddies in the army used to avoid hangovers. I'm actually proud of what I did next.
Because even in my completely wasted state, I knew somebody whose girlfriend you just sexually harassed shouldn't be sticking needles in you. So I replied, "No, I need to learn."
And then I passed out.
I have not gotten that drunk since. Because good lord.