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New Comic! I need your eyes, please.

tonjiboytonjiboy Registered User new member
edited August 2010 in Artist's Corner
catfancy.gif

So I took some of the critique from my last comic effort Too Deep to heart and tried a couple of new things to make somethings less obtuse and more varied. The first effort is called Nate and Jackson and is an insider look into the publishing process, loosely based on the real life happenings at Verbicide magazine. The second is The Front based on an idea i had years ago about what would happen if the media (and the world at large) was controlled by aliens who were ironically not that much different than us.

these are meant to be short runs but I'm hoping to do something long form next so i'd like some critiques to get the bugs out now.

so gimme your eyes (figuratively) and let me know what you think. also, literally give me your eyes.

tonjiboy on

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    NickelsFireforgeNickelsFireforge Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    My eyes have been permanently confiscated by my wife, so I'm afraid I've no longer got them, but I like the drawerings on this. Personally, I'm more conservative so the subject is humorous, but I could live without reading it... Good work though! POST MORE!!! Btw if you could downsize that joint, I'd be easier for me to view, but that's just me being selfish...

    THANKS!!!

    NickelsFireforge on
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    Jupiter SporesJupiter Spores Registered User new member
    edited August 2010
    I just registered to tell you I like it, both the humor and your drawing style.

    If you want some nit-pickyness, I'd shorten the punchline to "That would be like fucking a work of art!" To me a single line sells outrage, as opposed to four where the first two lines over-explain the joke a little. (and the rest of the strip pretty clever)

    Aside from that, good times! I'm checking out the rest on your site.

    Jupiter Spores on
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    rtsrts Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Wow, why even bother having three panels? They are exactly the same except for some unbelievably fast moving clouds. In general, you want the character to change and the clouds to stay the same for this type of situation I think.

    Copy/pasting the art over and over again speaks to a sort of unprofessionalism that will prevent something like this from ever succeeding. Put in the time, draw all three panels.

    rts on
    skype: rtschutter
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    JLM-AWPJLM-AWP Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    cakemikz wrote: »
    Wow, why even bother having three panels? They are exactly the same except for some unbelievably fast moving clouds. In general, you want the character to change and the clouds to stay the same for this type of situation I think.

    Copy/pasting the art over and over again speaks to a sort of unprofessionalism that will prevent something like this from ever succeeding. Put in the time, draw all three panels.

    I completely agree. On occasion this is okay, but I clicked on the links to your other series, and you do this constantly. In fact, the "Too Deep" strip barely changes at all. I noticed this right away and had a hard time not looking for it in every strip.

    I understand if you don't have time to draw or whatever...maybe this is the format you're going for, but that makes me kinda wonder what you'd like the people in an art forum to critique about it, beyond this one drawing.

    JLM-AWP on
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    melting_dollmelting_doll Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    There's also a tangent in panel 3, and it made me think the image was cut off at the end...

    melting_doll on
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    iglidanteiglidante Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    For some reason, I really like the way you angled your text a little. It makes me happy. And the font is decent, too.

    As for the art, I guess I'd like to see a bit more intention. Maybe stronger lines. The creature is a little hard to interpret.

    Oh, and melting_doll, I see that you are from Maine. This surprises me. I am also from Maine. It's a Maine party.

    iglidante on
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    earthwormadamearthwormadam ancient crust Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    not a comic

    3 identical pictars in a row

    earthwormadam on
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    VeromVerom Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    I looked at your too deep site that you linked too.
    Same thing, just the same drawing copy and pasted over 3 panels, over all your comics.

    Verom on
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    MagicToasterMagicToaster JapanRegistered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Verom wrote: »
    I looked at your too deep site that you linked too.
    Same thing, just the same drawing copy and pasted over 3 panels, over all your comics.

    Oh God, I went there too. Every comic is the same drawing... over and over again. The only thing that changes is the text. It feels beyond lazy.

    MagicToaster on
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    shovelkid001shovelkid001 Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Yeah, this reminds me of a Calvin and Hobbes strip. Xeroxed talking heads:

    http://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/2008/12/24/

    ?fh=140279c1f2aeed0ba63efb156293b675&w=900.0

    shovelkid001 on
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    AimAim Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Of course, the cool thing about that strip is that he actually redrew each individual pane. You can do a self organized find the differences :)

    Aim on
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    notactualjerknotactualjerk Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    haha, very nice, your general sensibly reminds me of Scenes From A Multiverse (by the guy formally of the webcomic Goats)

    But anyway, a bit sparse, but that's the only crit i can think of, so that's really not bad at all! :P

    notactualjerk on
    these are comics which I do... Jerk-Off: comics about jerks and whatnot!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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