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Advice on Dealing with annoying Characters

KistraKistra Registered User regular
edited August 2010 in Critical Failures
So I am having a situation that is making gaming less fun than it used to be for me. There is another player in my gaming group(s) that likes to play arrogant pricks and has an uncanny knack for making characters that make my character significantly less useful.

He has done this in three different games now in two different systems (the fourth was arrogant but in no way similar to my character's playstyle). The first time he knew what my character was, the other two times apparently it was random dumb luck. The characters are objectively worse than mine, but they still take over my role for plot related reasons: ie my pilot skill is higher, but he gets to be the pilot because his background says he is good friends with the owner of the ship.

The DM finds his characters amusing and we are specifically not allowed to kill them anymore unless we ourselves are in mortal danger. I don't really know this guy outside of gaming - he is a friend of some friends I game with, he seems nice enough, but any time I bring this topic up he shrugs and says "that is just what my character would do". If I bring it up IC the rest of the group looks uncomfortable and lets us argue for a few minutes before just trying to smooth it over - and for "background reasons" we have repeatedly gone with his plans.

Is there anything I can do? Other people in the group have commented that he enjoys playing assholes, but they seem to find it more amusing that irritating. At the same time he isn't displacing their characters repeatedly. I do really like the rest of our play group and don't know of any others around.

Animal Crossing: City Folk Lissa in Filmore 3179-9580-0076
Kistra on
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    Edith UpwardsEdith Upwards Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    A DM's pet situation like this quickly goes up in flames if you start shit.

    Find out what he's playing and play something else, I suggest some sort of support role dedicated solely to helping the other dudes and easily breezing past the parts of the game that nobody likes. Eventually he'll stop being such a jackass, it'll just take time.

    Edith Upwards on
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    ThanatosThanatos Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Yeah, swapping characters sounds like your best option.

    Thanatos on
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    fadingathedgesfadingathedges Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    This is sort of general - but can you outshine him in some specific area? That might help.

    I would also advise that your character start playing pranks on his character. Keep it in game, but embarrass the shit out of his character.

    edit: I'm thinking, keywords: oiled halflings, bacchanalia, town guard, mayor's wife, detailed sculpture

    fadingathedges on
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    KistraKistra Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    This is sort of general - but can you outshine him in some specific area? That might help.

    I would also advise that your character start playing pranks on his character. Keep it in game, but embarrass the shit out of his character.

    edit: I'm thinking, keywords: oiled halflings, bacchanalia, town guard, mayor's wife, detailed sculpture

    Swapping characters makes me kinda sad but I will look into it.

    Most of those keywords won't actually help at the moment. The two active games are a SAGA game and a Rogue Trader game so no town guards or halflings.

    Thanks for your suggestions.

    Kistra on
    Animal Crossing: City Folk Lissa in Filmore 3179-9580-0076
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    psolmspsolms Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    then you just need to do a little creative word replacement:

    oiled [strike]halflings[/strike] wookies, [strike]bacchanalia[/strike] crowded cantina, [strike]town guard[/strike]imperial garrison, [strike]town[/strike]grand moff's wife, detailed [strike]sculpture[/strike]holopad recording

    psolms on
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    HamHamJHamHamJ Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    1) Play an even bigger asshole.

    2) Tell your group to go fuck themselves.

    HamHamJ on
    While racing light mechs, your Urbanmech comes in second place, but only because it ran out of ammo.
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    TerrendosTerrendos Decorative Monocle Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Have you tried discussing it with him out of the game?

    Pulling pranks on him may give you relief, but if he is nursing some grudge then it's only going to make things worse. I'd try an open, honest conversation first.

    Terrendos on
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    KistraKistra Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Terrendos wrote: »
    Have you tried discussing it with him out of the game?

    Pulling pranks on him may give you relief, but if he is nursing some grudge then it's only going to make things worse. I'd try an open, honest conversation first.

    I have, but only before/after a game. This has resulted in him just saying "that is what my character would do".

    Kistra on
    Animal Crossing: City Folk Lissa in Filmore 3179-9580-0076
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    WhytherWhyther Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Is the "what my character would do" line only in defense of being an asshole or is he using that to explain why he is taking over duties your character is better equipped to handle? I think the best thing to do is tell him that you are frustrated when you guys end up playing similar characters and he outshines you, and then suggest that you both work hard to not play similar characters.

    Whyther on
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    Jam WarriorJam Warrior Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Ignore the people telling you to turn it into in game conflict. That is unless you want your relative level of unfun at the game to be lowered by making everyone else in the game miserable as well.

    If talking to the player hasn't helped, try the DM.

    Jam Warrior on
    MhCw7nZ.gif
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    ChanusChanus Harbinger of the Spicy Rooster Apocalypse The Flames of a Thousand Collapsed StarsRegistered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Ignore the people telling you to turn it into in game conflict. That is unless you want your relative level of unfun at the game to be lowered by making everyone else in the game miserable as well.

    If talking to the player hasn't helped, try the DM.

    Yeah. Passive Aggressive bullshit isn't going to solve the problem, and if dude gets off on being a dickwad, then it's just going to make things worse.

    If talking to the guy doesn't change things and addressing it with the group doesn't change things, you have two options:

    1>Deal
    2>Leave

    Chanus on
    Allegedly a voice of reason.
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    OptimusZedOptimusZed Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    First off, disclosure: I'm married to the OP and we play in the same groups.

    I think the issue of being "overshadowed" is largely a manufactured one, and I have expressed this multiple times. To use the current Saga game as an example, she plays a Twilek Soldier/Noble who has spent her considerable wealth on tons of incredibly damaging weaponry and she has the best ranged combat skills in the game. Oh, and she happened to train pilot. The other guy plays a Gungun Scoundrel/Scout who, while he owns a blaster, can't hit the broad side of a barn. He did, however, train Pilot, take Vehicular Combat and Fool's Luck, so he's pretty focused on piloting.

    And her beef is that he pilots and she doesn't. Because her Pilot skill, thanks to a marginally higher Dex, is a little higher than his, her view is that the pilot gig is hers to turn down. When she could just take the gunner seat and blow the everloving fuck out of everyone in this quadrant.

    The reality is that the two characters don't actually have that much crossover, it's largely an imagined slight. The two characters don't have much in common at all, and the gungun certainly isn't overshadowing her in any way shape or form. She just needs to focus on the things her character does well (and in fact better than anyone else in the party) and stop worrying about getting to do everything that she could potentially do.

    As for the intraparty conflict angle, I was the one that suggested it. One specific instance she brought up in conversation about this was the gungun pushing her out of the weapons command station after she'd fixed it, and proceeding to use the weapons that she was better qualified to use. My replay was something to the effect of; "You're a noble-born twilek asskicker and this plebe just had the gall to muscle you out of the way? I'm pretty sure that's when you deck the commoner and get back at the guns."

    OptimusZed on
    We're reading Rifts. You should too. You know you want to. Now With Ninjas!

    They tried to bury us. They didn't know that we were seeds. 2018 Midterms. Get your shit together.
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    KistraKistra Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    I would like to point out that your actions are the reason we aren't allowed to kill this player's characters anymore.

    Yes, the current SAGA game isn't the best example. But it was the straw the broke the camel's back. In Rogue Trader he came in and took over in a really assholish manner and most of us got to do nothing at all last session. And in the other SAGA game he would tell me how poorly I played a Jedi at least every half hour. It got to me eventually. All of it together.

    Kistra on
    Animal Crossing: City Folk Lissa in Filmore 3179-9580-0076
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    ChanusChanus Harbinger of the Spicy Rooster Apocalypse The Flames of a Thousand Collapsed StarsRegistered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Be honest... Zed is the assy guy, isn't he?

    It's okay. You can tell us. :P

    Chanus on
    Allegedly a voice of reason.
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    OptimusZedOptimusZed Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Chanus wrote: »
    Be honest... Zed is the assy guy, isn't he?

    It's okay. You can tell us. :P
    Well, I did sell her last Saga character into slavery.

    Repeatedly.

    OptimusZed on
    We're reading Rifts. You should too. You know you want to. Now With Ninjas!

    They tried to bury us. They didn't know that we were seeds. 2018 Midterms. Get your shit together.
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    SipexSipex Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    I've got a player like this, and a couple of my other players have come forward and said "We don't have fun when he does X." or whatever. I can't stop him from doing everything, he's naturally charismatic and creative so he takes charge easily and comes up with good ideas, this is how he has fun.

    As a compromise I see to it that everyone gets their plans heard at the table (telling other members to be quiet while people voice their opinions), when ideas get scoffed at I'll ask him 'Why is this a bad idea?' instead of letting his charisma take over and I give them situations where he can't automatically take over (ie: The party splits up for alternate research and I party him with a character who doesn't mind his attitude or the contact is more receptive to the other players).

    Also, I talked to him about it and he agreed to be reasonable, so that helped.

    I guess what I'm saying is, your DM should be helping with this too. It's his job to make sure you're all enjoying the game after all just as much as it's your job to handle the situation maturely.

    Sipex on
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    Jam WarriorJam Warrior Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    From my experience on the player's side, the frustration can be when the DM goes with the actions of the first player to declare rather than taking in everyone's intentions before determining what happens. This often results in the loudest player stealing the spotlight while someone who is a bit quieter and likes to think a bit before acting never gets a chance to contribute.

    Jam Warrior on
    MhCw7nZ.gif
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    OptimusZedOptimusZed Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    This guy is a bit of an instigator, and he rarely takes the time to think through his actions.

    Kistra on the other hand always takes a few extra seconds to try and find the "right" course of action.

    The guy who GMs our Saga game doesn't necessarily take the first person to respond, but he does assume that characters are acting independently of each other which means that the poorly thought-through actions of one player can cause a lot of cascading issues for everyone else. And the player in question has been the genesis of a lot of those issues because of his style.

    Whereas the rest of us generally just kind of roll with it (or leave him to his fate when he makes a particularly poor decision), when it gets in the way of doing things the smart way it grates on Kistra quite a bit I think.

    OptimusZed on
    We're reading Rifts. You should too. You know you want to. Now With Ninjas!

    They tried to bury us. They didn't know that we were seeds. 2018 Midterms. Get your shit together.
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    SipexSipex Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    I can respect that way of playing as it's how life would work. If you had an impulsive character who didn't think things through before acting that's how it would go down in real life.

    Maybe a better solution for you guys would be to give you sections where you have the time to plan beforehand, that way when he gets his less than thought out ideas on the table the group can look at them and say "That might work in a pinch but we have time to come up with a more thorough plan."

    Sipex on
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    OptimusZedOptimusZed Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Well, we tend to spend a lot of the games reacting to stuff that happens.

    But we also split up quite a bit, which means that we don't have to deal directly with it a lot of the time.

    As a forinstance, my character and his character were separated from the rest of the party when he decided to start a hostile takeover of his clan by stabbing one of the guys in charge. Which I just watched (him fail at), after which I helped the clan secure him and eventually exile him (I kicked him off the barge myself).

    Apparently my Destiny was to save him, but that just wasn't my style. So I didn't. And we both laughed about it while his character shuffled away from the barge and into the desert.

    I'm pretty sure the guy just likes doing crazy things and watching the fallout, both from the GM and the players. Most of us just don't take it as personally as Kistra does.

    OptimusZed on
    We're reading Rifts. You should too. You know you want to. Now With Ninjas!

    They tried to bury us. They didn't know that we were seeds. 2018 Midterms. Get your shit together.
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    fadingathedgesfadingathedges Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Ignore the people telling you to turn it into in game conflict. That is unless you want your relative level of unfun at the game to be lowered by making everyone else in the game miserable as well.

    If talking to the player hasn't helped, try the DM.


    I dunno, this still sounds good to me. It was stated that the issue is with the character not the player, and I would specifically avoid escalation beyond that in the spirit of avoiding drama.

    I'm not supported sowing chaos and angst - but rather humor. Be his foil.



    ps lol oiled wookiees.

    fadingathedges on
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    HamHamJHamHamJ Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    If someone uses the "it's just what my character would do!" defense, you are perfectly justified in having your character react appropriately and without mercy.

    HamHamJ on
    While racing light mechs, your Urbanmech comes in second place, but only because it ran out of ammo.
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    OptimusZedOptimusZed Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    HamHamJ wrote: »
    If someone uses the "it's just what my character would do!" defense, you are perfectly justified in having your character react appropriately and without mercy.
    This has universally been my response, and it's worked just fine.

    OptimusZed on
    We're reading Rifts. You should too. You know you want to. Now With Ninjas!

    They tried to bury us. They didn't know that we were seeds. 2018 Midterms. Get your shit together.
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    Jam WarriorJam Warrior Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    OptimusZed wrote: »
    Most of us just don't take it as personally as Kistra does.

    Well I hope you like sleeping on the couch!

    Seriously though. Without assigning any rights or wrongs, if someone is as unhappy with the situation as Kistra clearly is, then talk needs to be had and compromise needs to be found or she's going to stop playing, and you don't want that now do you? Telling someone to 'find this more fun!' just doesn't work :P

    Jam Warrior on
    MhCw7nZ.gif
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    HorseshoeHorseshoe Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    OptimusZed wrote: »
    Chanus wrote: »
    Be honest... Zed is the assy guy, isn't he?

    It's okay. You can tell us. :P
    Well, I did sell her last Saga character into slavery.

    Repeatedly.

    Was she a Twi'Lek or a Wookie?

    Because... heck why not sell them into slavery.

    :P


    aw dammit TOTP suggests Horseshoe once again is a fantasy bigot.

    Horseshoe on
    dmsigsmallek3.jpg
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    OptimusZedOptimusZed Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Horseshoe wrote: »
    OptimusZed wrote: »
    Chanus wrote: »
    Be honest... Zed is the assy guy, isn't he?

    It's okay. You can tell us. :P
    Well, I did sell her last Saga character into slavery.

    Repeatedly.

    Was she a Twi'Lek or a Wookie?

    Because... heck why not sell them into slavery.
    Twi'lek. Dressed like a dancing girl, in fact.

    OptimusZed on
    We're reading Rifts. You should too. You know you want to. Now With Ninjas!

    They tried to bury us. They didn't know that we were seeds. 2018 Midterms. Get your shit together.
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    HorseshoeHorseshoe Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Man, that is some top dollar Twi'Lek right there.

    I mean you could run like a "Good the Bad and the Ugly" style capture/rescue scam with that kinda angle.

    Horseshoe on
    dmsigsmallek3.jpg
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    SipexSipex Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Christ, slavery is basically her neutral state then.

    Sipex on
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    HorseshoeHorseshoe Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Yeah, unfortunately if you're a Twi'Lek your options in life are:

    a) Slavery

    b) Slavery

    Horseshoe on
    dmsigsmallek3.jpg
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    OptimusZedOptimusZed Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Her character progression was basically; Slave -> Runaway Slave -> Inquisitor Trainee -> Fugitive Jedi

    Most of the time when I sold her it was part of a scam. Once, though, I'm pretty sure it was just to make a buck and be rid of her.

    OptimusZed on
    We're reading Rifts. You should too. You know you want to. Now With Ninjas!

    They tried to bury us. They didn't know that we were seeds. 2018 Midterms. Get your shit together.
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    OptimusZedOptimusZed Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Horseshoe wrote: »
    Yeah, unfortunately if you're a Twi'Lek your options in life are:

    a) Slavery

    b) Slavery
    Her new character added an option;

    c) Be born a noble and have your own slaves.

    OptimusZed on
    We're reading Rifts. You should too. You know you want to. Now With Ninjas!

    They tried to bury us. They didn't know that we were seeds. 2018 Midterms. Get your shit together.
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    HorseshoeHorseshoe Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    OptimusZed wrote: »
    Horseshoe wrote: »
    Yeah, unfortunately if you're a Twi'Lek your options in life are:

    a) Slavery

    b) Slavery
    Her new character added an option;

    c) Be born a noble and have your own slaves.

    Oh yeah I forgot about that one.

    A Twi'Lek noble at least has a chance not to be sold into slavery... as slim as that might be.

    Horseshoe on
    dmsigsmallek3.jpg
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    KistraKistra Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    And I didn't care when Zed or one of the other characters took turns selling me into slavery. Even if we hadn't had a chance to plan as a group (IC or OOC) beforehand I knew that they weren't going to place my character's life in extra danger just for lols.

    We all get a chance to be heard at the table. But all the plans in the world don't matter when this guy's character walks away in the middle of the planning and does his own thing (generally start trouble). Or he has a backstory that says he is in charge so when he and I disagree his plan is always the one that happens.

    And this isn't one character. He's made 4 in a row like this.

    Kistra on
    Animal Crossing: City Folk Lissa in Filmore 3179-9580-0076
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    HorseshoeHorseshoe Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Kistra wrote: »
    We all get a chance to be heard at the table. But all the plans in the world don't matter when this guy's character walks away in the middle of the planning and does his own thing (generally start trouble). Or he has a backstory that says he is in charge so when he and I disagree his plan is always the one that happens.

    And this isn't one character. He's made 4 in a row like this.

    Dang.

    This doesn't sound like an "annoying character" problem.

    This sounds like a player problem.

    I mean, for all I know, this may be a guy who is perfectly cool away from the table.

    But those last couple of sentances sound like he makes characters this way, whether or not he realizes that such a character can make problems.

    Horseshoe on
    dmsigsmallek3.jpg
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    fadingathedgesfadingathedges Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Sell him into slavery



    Or maybe his character. :P

    fadingathedges on
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    HamHamJHamHamJ Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Kistra wrote: »
    And I didn't care when Zed or one of the other characters took turns selling me into slavery. Even if we hadn't had a chance to plan as a group (IC or OOC) beforehand I knew that they weren't going to place my character's life in extra danger just for lols.

    We all get a chance to be heard at the table. But all the plans in the world don't matter when this guy's character walks away in the middle of the planning and does his own thing (generally start trouble). Or he has a backstory that says he is in charge so when he and I disagree his plan is always the one that happens.

    And this isn't one character. He's made 4 in a row like this.

    I would just let him get himself killed.

    Or in the later case, arrange a mutiny.

    HamHamJ on
    While racing light mechs, your Urbanmech comes in second place, but only because it ran out of ammo.
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    TerrendosTerrendos Decorative Monocle Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    Also, your next character should specifically state that (s)he is that player character's boss. (S)he was brought in for this because of the other guy's general gross incompetence.

    Maybe you shouldn't phrase it like that though?

    Terrendos on
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    HeavyVillainHeavyVillain Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    I can totaly sympathise with kistra here, something really similar used to happen wit our games (and it didnt help that my groups first GM wa sa bit of a jerk himself).

    I asked the DM how i should be handling it, as a sort of way of pointing out i had a problem with the behaviour, and then got confirmation that I could basically give him whatever he gave us without repercusion

    This guy made two party kills by constantly being an impuslive assbafg character, and constantly ruined our rep (in one instance he got us all killed really far along in a campaign by attacking the superpowered NPC whod been giving us missions)

    So... next time he started being a dick to an important diplomat i backstabbed him with a hypo full of sedative and we all dragged him off discretly

    (He failed a bunch of checks so he was out for hours. He woke up in our cargobay to find himself without pants and missing his robotic eye.)

    After that he began making less dickheadish characters :P

    So yeah, if hes being disruptive, give him what he deserves

    HeavyVillain on
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    OptimusZedOptimusZed Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    She's got a follower. He usually carries her arsenal, but all she's got to do is give him a stun baton. Let the minion knock the jerk unconscious just once to let him know it's a possibility. He is seriously the least combat capable Saga character I've ever seen, the porter slave could totally take him. It would be worth it just for the expression on his face.

    OptimusZed on
    We're reading Rifts. You should too. You know you want to. Now With Ninjas!

    They tried to bury us. They didn't know that we were seeds. 2018 Midterms. Get your shit together.
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    The EnderThe Ender Registered User regular
    edited August 2010
    I'm with Zed. Annihilate him (but do it with a smile on your face!).

    No, seriously. If he wants to try and justify being a dick by shrugging and saying, "Hey, I'm just being in character," then you should be able to justify atomizing his ass for the same reason.

    The Ender on
    With Love and Courage
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