Spiders, the life, times, and deaths thereof.

Xaviar

So, there is a spider living in my bathroom garbage can.

Normally, I'm super cool with spiders, like, whatever. But I live in the northern midwest, and most spiders I have to deal with are of the itsy-bitsy variety, or the "Yeah, you might be big, but it's because you've got super long legs even though your body is still super tiny" variety.

This spider living is my garbage can is super huge.

I want it to die so I can get rid of it.

I refuse to put more (eheh.) refuse in my bin until it does, lest it be able to climb atop the pile and escape.

It refuses to die, which would create a situation in which I would be comfortable disposing of it.

I might be slightly drunk, so feel free to lock this and let it die if need be.

Why the hell won't it die, and will someone come and take it away for me?

admanb

Define "super huge"

Xaviar

Okay.. Maybe not super huge.

Super huge for me though.

Maybe half-dollar sized, averaging the body and the legs.

As in the legs extend slightly past that, whereas the body is slightly under that.

Macro9

Pour some alcohol or bleach on it.

Alternatively you could wrangle it into something and let it loose outside your home.

Tef

surely you can just bludgeon it to death with something?

Raneados

is it in a garbage bag?

just zip that sucker up and run with it, screaming, from the house to the trash can outside

JohnnyCache

hit it? with a rolled up magazine? shoot it with some bugspray?

Darkewolfe

This is a really odd question. Spiders aren't THAT resilient. Just to be safe, though, I'm going to go with the "fill your garbage can with gasoline and light it. The only safe way is purging with righteous fire.

Don't actually do that.

Unless you have someone else video tape it and put it on youtube. We'll miss you.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

Skeith

Pummeling works great, unless it's a wolf spider. Post a picture so that we know whether or not to tell you if a brick should be dropped on it.

Tejs

I can tell you from experience that liberally applying a fresh coat of Raid to the entire spider every 2.5 seconds generally does the trick.

In my case, I dual wielded the Outdoor Fresh and Industrial strength cans to dispatch my formidable foe.

Sojorn

Saran wrap tightly over the top, walk outside, turn it upside down over the grass or sidewalk or whatever, separate the saran wrap, lift the can and sprint back to the door of your home screaming in the highest possible pitch you can manage whilst flailing your arms and crying.

This is the only humane way deal with spiders.

L Ron Howard

NUKE IT FROM ORBIT


It's the only way to be sure.


Personally though, I'd just Raid the shit outta the garbage can.

SwashbucklerXX

If no Raid is available, Windex usually works.

MetroidZoid

Skeith wrote: »

Pummeling works great, unless it's a wolf spider. Post a picture so that we know whether or not to tell you if a brick should be dropped on it.

Because they hunt in packs, you know. Kill off the alpha, and they'll come for you.

All joking aside, hit it with some Windex or wasp-killer or hell hair spray, beat it severely, possibly insult it's mother if you feel the need to do so, and you're golden.

Unless it's a wolf spider. Heaven help you if it's a wolf spider.

see317

MetroidZoid wrote: »

Skeith wrote: »

Pummeling works great, unless it's a wolf spider. Post a picture so that we know whether or not to tell you if a brick should be dropped on it.

Because they hunt in packs, you know. Kill off the alpha, and they'll come for you.

All joking aside, hit it with some Windex or wasp-killer or hell hair spray, beat it severely, possibly insult it's mother if you feel the need to do so, and you're golden.

Unless it's a wolf spider. Heaven help you if it's a wolf spider.

You can tell it's a wolf spider if it howls. You'll have to get really close to hear it though.

Trillian

Why not just move the garbage can outside and tip it over and let the spider out?

Scosglen

see317 wrote: »

MetroidZoid wrote: »

Skeith wrote: »

Pummeling works great, unless it's a wolf spider. Post a picture so that we know whether or not to tell you if a brick should be dropped on it.

Because they hunt in packs, you know. Kill off the alpha, and they'll come for you.

All joking aside, hit it with some Windex or wasp-killer or hell hair spray, beat it severely, possibly insult it's mother if you feel the need to do so, and you're golden.

Unless it's a wolf spider. Heaven help you if it's a wolf spider.

You can tell it's a wolf spider if it howls. You'll have to get really close to hear it though.

But that's how they jump in your ear and lay eggs in your brain!

MetroidZoid

Not if you're wearing a wolf-spider shirt.

They respect that.

L Ron Howard

Three Wolf-Spider Moon T-shirts get all the chicks, man.

MetroidZoid

Also, did you successfully kill the spider?

MrMonroe

murder it

this is not a terrifically difficult question

Arrath

Bug spray? Pffft.

JohnnyCache

relevant and awesome enough for bump

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnKJzCUy9Tw

Sir Headless VII

I was hoping that would shoot spiders.

L Ron Howard

No. Those guns are saved for bees. Spiders, while terrifying in their own right, have nothing on bees when it comes to being fired as a projectile.

Also, I can't believe I missed that vid. That's awesome.

BlindLinus

a little late to the party but here's my take on the situation (if it still exists):

get a good look at it and find out what it is.

if it's anything that turns out to be harmless, i would go with taking the garbage can outside and dumping the contents into a larger bag, then tossing the larger bag into whatever you do with your trash for the week. if it can get out of that predicament, then good. if not, oh well. survival of the fittest.

if it's a wolf spider or something ridiculous i would go with the idea that it needs to die. fast. i would say either disposing of the garbage can entirely (and yes, fire is okay) or putting the can outside, knocking it over and then beating the spider into the ground with a boot. again... survival of the fittest.

i've seen wolf spiders take a solid hit from a thin phonebook, heard the crunch over the impact, felt the smug superiority of vanquishing one's enemy... and watched in horror as it went scurrying off as soon as the phonebook was pulled away.

cooljammer00

Clearly the spider has taken over OP's body as a host.

Disrupter

Lack of response from the OP tells me what we all feared...

the spider won.

see317

Disrupter wrote: »

Lack of response from the OP tells me what we all feared...

the spider won.

I'm terrified at this prospect.
Terrified, but not really suprised.

pogo mudder

get a can of hairspray, aim in direction of spider, press down.

reach in, pick up solidified spider, shatter against wall.

OnTheLastCastle

Disrupter wrote: »

Lack of response from the OP tells me what we all feared...

the spider won.

He and the spider talked it over and are now both super drunk on the bathroom floor.

Also, just put a book over the top of the trash can and go outside. Dump the spider out then pick up your trash when it waddles off. You'll feel better.

edit: Because if you kill it there will be revenge taken by the other spiders. That's how my mind works.

Ziac45

I am gonna guess that the spider moved to the bathroom and that the OP took the advice of the hairspray. Turns out he made the news.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/7973024/Man-blows-himself-up-trying-to-kill-a-spider.html

THEPAIN73

Photos of the spider?

MetroidZoid

The suspect was not caught on film, and remains at large.

Police are monitoring the area for suspicious activity.

As of now, no one has heard from the abducted.

Slider

Back in the day, my friend would grab a cigarette lighter and a can of hairspray. You get the idea.

Underwhelming

R.I.P. Xaviar.

Let this be a reminder to us all that we must be ever vigilant in the face of these demons. Xaviar underestimated his foe and was probably dead before standing from his computer desk.

Don't take your eyes off these bastards. Collateral damage is acceptable if it means the spider is engulfed in flames, screaming and dying.

L Ron Howard

Underwhelming wrote: »

R.I.P. Xaviar.

Let this be a reminder to us all that we must be ever vigilant in the face of these demons. Xaviar underestimated his foe and was probably dead before standing from his computer desk.

Don't take your eyes off these bastards. Collateral damage is acceptable if it means the spider is engulfed in flames, screaming and dying.

I hear that's the worst though. If they're on fire, screaming and dying, they're more likely to try to take you with them. Those crazy-assed maniacs.

Spider: 1
Xaviar: 0

R.I.P.
You will be missed.

see317

L Ron Howard wrote: »

Underwhelming wrote: »

R.I.P. Xaviar.

Let this be a reminder to us all that we must be ever vigilant in the face of these demons. Xaviar underestimated his foe and was probably dead before standing from his computer desk.

Don't take your eyes off these bastards. Collateral damage is acceptable if it means the spider is engulfed in flames, screaming and dying.

I hear that's the worst though. If they're on fire, screaming and dying, they're more likely to try to take you with them. Those crazy-assed maniacs.

Spider: 1
Xaviar: 0

R.I.P.
You will be missed.

This.
Didn't you learn anything from Arachnophobia, Underwhelming?
That movie wasn't supposed to be entertaining, it was supposed to be a warning to always be wary of the 8-legged true overlords of the Earth.

Underwhelming

I learned spiders are in every helmet, shoe and 70 year old corpses nasal cavity.

Samir Duran Duran

BlindLinus wrote: »

if it's a wolf spider or something ridiculous i would go with the idea that it needs to die. fast. i would say either disposing of the garbage can entirely (and yes, fire is okay) or putting the can outside, knocking it over and then beating the spider into the ground with a boot. again... survival of the fittest.

i've seen wolf spiders take a solid hit from a thin phonebook, heard the crunch over the impact, felt the smug superiority of vanquishing one's enemy... and watched in horror as it went scurrying off as soon as the phonebook was pulled away.

Why oh why do people mind wolf spiders? They are just eight-legged puppy-dogs, never bothered me in my life.