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Red Dead Banana
Jakesully
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
So Im playing Red Dead Redemption online last night, and a guy starts singing "I'm a banana, I'm a banana." Some nutty ass people play that game lol. It is quite fun though. Please share your encounters with online crazy people. "I'M A BANANA!!!!!"
Jakesully on
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"Nothing is gonna save us forever but a lot of things can save us today." - Night in the Woods
Whoops, sorry, i suck dicks.
A group of friends and I were playing online team based slayer and we got a game against a pretty generic group with one member called "Grannyof5".
We start joking ala party chat and wondering if this person is actually a granny or if they just like their CRAAAAAZY names. You know.
So the round goes by and most of the team is utter trash except granny who pulls them through and gets 1/2 the kills. She wins the game for them.
At the end of the round via game chat we hear an elderly female voice go "These guys suck."
We laughed so hard.
At which point someone asked if we could go for an achievement.
Immediatly, our tank drops. We're confused, so re-queue and wait for a replacement tank. One shows up! And then a DPS drops. Our tank walks in the instance, doesn't say a word, falls off the platform to his death, then drops group.
We then re-queued. Seriously, who joins a group, suicides, then leaves?
I preceeded to back out into spectator mode instead of playing against him, then spent the whole round omnisciently stalking him while offering "helpful" suggestions. "You really can't get off a good shot from that hiding place." He'd move. "Your elbow is sticking out from behind that cargo cotainer, it'd be really easy to shoot you." "I don't think I'd have have brought that gun." He lost the ability to form words from the hate-stroke, and eventually rage-quit.
This guy started playing with his safety way the fuck back there and I was like... why? Then I realized he was a cheeser on his next offensive play. First two drives I passed it only once, ran it down his fucking throat. Told him to quit being a bitch and play like a man (text message on XBL.) He got up a score on me after I fumbled it, essentially giving him a win unless I forced a turnover... which I did twice and scored promptly and sat on it to end the game.
His messages were of, "You pussy ass bitch kept crying so I let you win." "You suck so bad." "You're trash."
I don't get the appeal of cheating to win. Granted I did use the trick to keep myself in the game at halftime, but it's justified then right?
Her grandkids must love her.
I also like whoever it is that plays as Sean Connery. I remember playing Zombie Panic, and he was named Sean Connery, and always in character as Sean Connery. Good times.
I instead focused on winning the match and he settled on cursing every time he did anything
*jump* Bitch
*whiffed srk* Bitch
*wake up ultra* shit snorkeller
*loses a round* FUCK!!
Every time he did Anything and it was a five round matchD:
One guy started repeating the words "Jemima PuddleDuck". He stopped attacking anyone and just started following people around repeating the words "Jemima PuddleDuck". Some people started laughing, others told him to shut up. But some people started joining in. Following him around while he followed others around, all repeating the words "Jemima PuddleDuck".
Now there's a group of six or seven people, all running around in a group, looking for people who aren't joining in, so they can follow them around, all repeating "Jemima PuddleDuck". Jamping around them, sprinting along behind them, even getting into the same car as them so they can repeat the words from the backseats, or following behind them in cars. Not caring if they get gunned down, they would just respawn, find the group again and go back to "Jemima PuddleDuck"
Curiosity is the only thing that is keeping me in this game, because there is no shooting going on anymore, at least nothing competative. It's just a crowd of people following others around and saying "Jemima PuddleDuck" and being shot, ran over or blown up by the person who is being followed.
Eventually I am the only one left who isn't part of the PuddleDuck horde. And they all turn on me. A giant crowd of players, all running at me repeating the words "Jemima PuddleDuck" is actually pretty unnerving. I decide to run. I am not joining in.
They follow me through water, over fences, across busy highways (some of them being struck down), they drive behind me in convoys of mopeds and taxis, one of them managed to get into my passenger seat - I gun it towards a river and bail out, sending him to his watery grave, still repeating "Jemima PuddleDuck" as he sped off into the distance, and right up until I heard the splash.
I eventually got into a chopper. They take so long to start up that the passenger seats were immediately filled with these PuddleDuck zombies. Other choppers filled with them started firing up - taking off I swiftly started pulling crazy flightpaths, weaving between buildings, under and over bridges, desperately trying to shake them, but they held fast. And it was no good anyway, they were in the chopper with me.
I knew what I had to do.
I climbed as high as I could, and jumped out of the chopper. As expected, most of them followed me. As I was tumbling down down down towards time's square, their inane babbling still audable over the rushing wind, I knew that soon I would hit the ground and be free from the Jemima PuddleDuck nightmare.
My friend, who is male, was playing RDR on his girlfriend's account, so he had a somewhat (but not especially) effeminate gamertag. He was also playing as one of the Mexican woman. His mike was busted but he still had voicechat on, so we could hear everything people were saying. As a result, the leader of the first gang he joins immediately starts flirting with him and making inappropriate comments despite the fact that he doesn't know for sure he's not talking to a dude. He would not shut up, so we just sat back and enjoyed listening to him make a fool of himself.
Let that be a lesson to all you chauvinist asshats out there: Anonymity works both ways.
Someone who doesn't want to do The Occulus. He fell to his death because I believe it protects him from the Deserter debuff.
"ALL RIGHT GUYS!!! WE CAN WIN IF WE JUST WORK TOGETHER! OUR FRIENDSHIP CAN OVERCOME ALL OBSTACLES!!! WAIT A MINUTE, THIS TEAM ISN'T RED!" *switches to red team* "ALRIGHT! *repeats dramatic speech to red team*
The onslaught of comments was relentless. It finally culminated in a flood of off-color jokes, like "Why couldn't Helen Keller drive a car? ... because she's a woman."
She didn't stick around too long after that.
It could have been annoying if he wasn't so good at it. He claimed he was a DJ for a local radio station, and he very well could have been. He had a radio sounding voice. It was a lot of fun, so much so that people would stack his team and the rounds wouldn't be very good. But everyone on his team had a blast.
One thing I sort of miss when playing on xbox live is the ability to change your name in games at will.