"An Inconvenient Truth" Inspires Man to Take Discovery Channel Hostage [UPDATE: Dead]

Cantido

Quick! Where's David Attenborough when we need him?...who's that? Sigourney Weaver? GET HER OUT OF HERE!

Artoria

ya that guys is all kinds of crazy and all over the place. I actually hope that he is not dead so he can stand trail and have to pay for what he has done.

In case the Google cache version goes down you can read the crazy from TMZ

http://tmz.vo.llnwd.net/o28/newsdesk/tmz_documents/0901_demands.pdf

Deebaser

A lot of that manifesto sounds awesome when read in an Agent Smith voice.

Fucking crazy, but awesome.

Deebaser

OptimusZed wrote: »

GPIA7R wrote: »

He'll be touted as a hero on the news. Taking bets.

Not a chance.

First off, he's openly environmentalist. That's -300 cable news points right there.

Second, he's using bombs and not guns (from the reports I'm reading), so he's subconsciously associating himself with bombers and avoiding the nice, powerful phallic imagery of the handgun. -200

He's championing causes (as much as he's doing anything remotely cohesive) that are shared by the portion of the population who see violence as universally abhorrent, so there's nobody riding to his defense. -200

Even if someone was willing to defend him, he's not holding up cable news scum, he's holding up the Discovery Channel. They've gone downhill, but they're still held in relatively high regard by most of the people who would think his basic message has any redeeming value at all. -100

So he's sitting at around -800. That puts him between Osama Bin Laden and The last guy who murdered a newsworthy white girl in terms of support from cable news. No way this guy's getting canonized.

If he had done this during shark week it'd be an additional -20000 points.

Captain Carrot

Styrofoam Sammich wrote: »

Hexmage-PA wrote: »

Apparently the suspect has been shot, is in police custody, and the hostages are safe. The police think there might be explosive devices in the building. The chief of police claims he has no idea of the suspect's condition.

I'm guessing shot, perhaps bleeding.

Certainly deranged.

But won't someone think of the squirrels?

The suspect's nuts for them.

Styrofoam Sammich

Captain Carrot wrote: »

Styrofoam Sammich wrote: »

Hexmage-PA wrote: »

Apparently the suspect has been shot, is in police custody, and the hostages are safe. The police think there might be explosive devices in the building. The chief of police claims he has no idea of the suspect's condition.

I'm guessing shot, perhaps bleeding.

Certainly deranged.

But won't someone think of the squirrels?

The suspect's nuts for them.

Havelock

Deebaser wrote: »

OptimusZed wrote: »

GPIA7R wrote: »

He'll be touted as a hero on the news. Taking bets.

Not a chance.

First off, he's openly environmentalist. That's -300 cable news points right there.

Second, he's using bombs and not guns (from the reports I'm reading), so he's subconsciously associating himself with bombers and avoiding the nice, powerful phallic imagery of the handgun. -200

He's championing causes (as much as he's doing anything remotely cohesive) that are shared by the portion of the population who see violence as universally abhorrent, so there's nobody riding to his defense. -200

Even if someone was willing to defend him, he's not holding up cable news scum, he's holding up the Discovery Channel. They've gone downhill, but they're still held in relatively high regard by most of the people who would think his basic message has any redeeming value at all. -100

So he's sitting at around -800. That puts him between Osama Bin Laden and The last guy who murdered a newsworthy white girl in terms of support from cable news. No way this guy's getting canonized.

If he had done this during shark week it'd be an additional -20000 points.

Seriously.

Hexmage-PA

Discovery Channel's programming continued as normal during the entire incident.

EDIT: Also apparently the guy is dead.

Styrofoam Sammich

Hexmage-PA wrote: »

Discovery Channel's programming continued as normal during the entire incident.

EDIT: Also apparently the guy is dead.

And humanities crimes against our squirrel brothers march on

Shadowfire

Gyral wrote: »

Discovery Channel? Send in the Mythbusters to negotiate. And by negotiate I mean strap him with C4 and blow him up.

Maybe Mike Rowe can give him a job?

Edit: Maybe not...

Modern Man

Hexmage-PA wrote: »

EDIT: Also apparently the guy is dead.

He wanted less humans on the planet. Guess this is a happy ending, all around.

gtrmp

I guess we can look forward to at least a week of conservative talking heads using this as evidence that environmentalism is explicitly anti-human, and belittling and condemning Al Gore even moreso than usual.

Tomanta

So which right-wing radio host is going to use this to further their agenda first?

Styrofoam Sammich

Tomanta wrote: »

So which right-wing radio host is going to use this to further their agenda first?

Trick question, it happened in the afternoon, so the tv hosts get it first.

Iaculus

GPIA7R wrote: »

Styrofoam Sammich wrote: »

Tomanta wrote: »

It's not just anchor babies he is against, it is all babies.

2. All programs on Discovery Health-TLC must stop encouraging the birth of any more parasitic human infants and the false heroics behind those actions. In those programs’ places, programs encouraging human sterilization and infertility must be pushed. All former pro-birth programs must now push in the direction of stopping human birth, not encouraging it.

Of course, my favorite demand is the last one. "Oh, yeah, fix unemployment and housing while you are at it."

Crazy guy is crazy, film at 11.

I suspect conservatives are going to run this as "Left Wing Terrorist attacks TV station!"

And why wouldn't they? Obviously he's not a terrorist, but he's certainly a liberally-inclined extremist. Are you trying to play down the fact that he's holding hostages to get his message out?

Since when was stopping the human race from having babies, advising that we invent more creative weapons with which to kill each other, and preventing immigration 'liberally-inclined'?

This guy's in his own separate world of crazy.

Commander 598

Deebaser wrote: »

OptimusZed wrote: »

GPIA7R wrote: »

He'll be touted as a hero on the news. Taking bets.

Not a chance.

First off, he's openly environmentalist. That's -300 cable news points right there.

Second, he's using bombs and not guns (from the reports I'm reading), so he's subconsciously associating himself with bombers and avoiding the nice, powerful phallic imagery of the handgun. -200

He's championing causes (as much as he's doing anything remotely cohesive) that are shared by the portion of the population who see violence as universally abhorrent, so there's nobody riding to his defense. -200

Even if someone was willing to defend him, he's not holding up cable news scum, he's holding up the Discovery Channel. They've gone downhill, but they're still held in relatively high regard by most of the people who would think his basic message has any redeeming value at all. -100

So he's sitting at around -800. That puts him between Osama Bin Laden and The last guy who murdered a newsworthy white girl in terms of support from cable news. No way this guy's getting canonized.

If he had done this during shark week it'd be an additional -20000 points.

Is it bad that the only thing I can think about now is: "Fuck me, I missed Shark Week!" ?

Xenogears of Bore

He's also championing abortion on a massive scale, so I really doubt any conservative will even jokingingly promote him.

Jokerman

Xenogears of Bore wrote: »

He's also championing abortion on a massive scale, so I really doubt any conservative will even jokingingly promote him.

Promote him as an example of the left wing terrocracy.

Tomanta

Jokerman wrote: »

Xenogears of Bore wrote: »

He's also championing abortion on a massive scale, so I really doubt any conservative will even jokingingly promote him.

Promote him as an example of the left wing terrocracy.

Yes. It's this kind of guy that the Obama Administration and their "Hope" and "Change" supports.

Oooh, new guessing game! Who will be the first to link him to Obama?

GPIA7R

Iaculus wrote: »

GPIA7R wrote: »

Styrofoam Sammich wrote: »

Tomanta wrote: »

It's not just anchor babies he is against, it is all babies.

2. All programs on Discovery Health-TLC must stop encouraging the birth of any more parasitic human infants and the false heroics behind those actions. In those programs’ places, programs encouraging human sterilization and infertility must be pushed. All former pro-birth programs must now push in the direction of stopping human birth, not encouraging it.

Of course, my favorite demand is the last one. "Oh, yeah, fix unemployment and housing while you are at it."

Crazy guy is crazy, film at 11.

I suspect conservatives are going to run this as "Left Wing Terrorist attacks TV station!"

And why wouldn't they? Obviously he's not a terrorist, but he's certainly a liberally-inclined extremist. Are you trying to play down the fact that he's holding hostages to get his message out?

Since when was stopping the human race from having babies, advising that we invent more creative weapons with which to kill each other, and preventing immigration 'liberally-inclined'?

This guy's in his own separate world of crazy.

The extremist environmentalist and "save the planet and animals" attitude. Surely you read his "manifesto"?

There are extreme shitbags on both sides of politics, but this guy held some pretty liberal values, along with his own crazy shit.

Don't care one way or another... but the fact that half the posts here are already trashing conservative media imply that they are at least aware without saying it in so many words.

Styrofoam Sammich

GPIA7R wrote: »

Iaculus wrote: »

GPIA7R wrote: »

Styrofoam Sammich wrote: »

Tomanta wrote: »

It's not just anchor babies he is against, it is all babies.

2. All programs on Discovery Health-TLC must stop encouraging the birth of any more parasitic human infants and the false heroics behind those actions. In those programs’ places, programs encouraging human sterilization and infertility must be pushed. All former pro-birth programs must now push in the direction of stopping human birth, not encouraging it.

Of course, my favorite demand is the last one. "Oh, yeah, fix unemployment and housing while you are at it."

Crazy guy is crazy, film at 11.

I suspect conservatives are going to run this as "Left Wing Terrorist attacks TV station!"

And why wouldn't they? Obviously he's not a terrorist, but he's certainly a liberally-inclined extremist. Are you trying to play down the fact that he's holding hostages to get his message out?

Since when was stopping the human race from having babies, advising that we invent more creative weapons with which to kill each other, and preventing immigration 'liberally-inclined'?

This guy's in his own separate world of crazy.

The extremist environmentalist and "save the planet and animals" attitude. Surely you read his "manifesto"?

There are extreme shitbags on both sides of politics, but this guy held some pretty liberal values, along with his own crazy shit.

Don't care one way or another... but the fact that half the posts here are already trashing conservative media imply that they are at least aware without saying it in so many words.

He's a liberal in the way Stalin was. By that I mean not at all. Left wing? Sure. But the Taliban is right wing and you don't see people calling every attack by the Taliban a "conservative terrorist attack".

Furu

Hey, who fucking cares about his political leanings? How about we talk about how the mental health system and those around this guy failed to help an obviously ill person?

emnmnme

OptimusZed wrote: »

He's also anti-immigration, even using the term "anchor babies".

He's a smorgasbord of crazy.

If Hollywood movies have taught me anything, he was actually an action hero who was smeared by the media with doctored photos and phony quotes at the request of the government. He was actually trying to get on TV and warn the world of an impending alien invasion or something. I saw V for Vendetta! I saw Mad City!


Seriously, though, I'm happy none of the hostages were hurt.

ronya

Styrofoam Sammich wrote: »

GPIA7R wrote: »

Iaculus wrote: »

GPIA7R wrote: »

Styrofoam Sammich wrote: »

Tomanta wrote: »

It's not just anchor babies he is against, it is all babies.

2. All programs on Discovery Health-TLC must stop encouraging the birth of any more parasitic human infants and the false heroics behind those actions. In those programs’ places, programs encouraging human sterilization and infertility must be pushed. All former pro-birth programs must now push in the direction of stopping human birth, not encouraging it.

Of course, my favorite demand is the last one. "Oh, yeah, fix unemployment and housing while you are at it."

Crazy guy is crazy, film at 11.

I suspect conservatives are going to run this as "Left Wing Terrorist attacks TV station!"

And why wouldn't they? Obviously he's not a terrorist, but he's certainly a liberally-inclined extremist. Are you trying to play down the fact that he's holding hostages to get his message out?

Since when was stopping the human race from having babies, advising that we invent more creative weapons with which to kill each other, and preventing immigration 'liberally-inclined'?

This guy's in his own separate world of crazy.

The extremist environmentalist and "save the planet and animals" attitude. Surely you read his "manifesto"?

There are extreme shitbags on both sides of politics, but this guy held some pretty liberal values, along with his own crazy shit.

Don't care one way or another... but the fact that half the posts here are already trashing conservative media imply that they are at least aware without saying it in so many words.

He's a liberal in the way Stalin was. By that I mean not at all. Left wing? Sure. But the Taliban is right wing and you don't see people calling every attack by the Taliban a "conservative terrorist attack".

With the exception of immigration, he happens to hold every position which certain influential conservatives regularly accuse liberals of holding. Right down to quasi-religious invocation of Darwin.

So it seems pretty sensible to predict that conservative pundits are going to wave this about.

Nartwak

GPIA7R (01:23 PM) wrote: »

He'll be touted as a hero on the news. Taking bets.

GPIA7R (03:01 PM) wrote: »

Don't care one way or another... but the fact that half the posts here are already trashing conservative media imply that they are at least aware without saying it in so many words.

ronya

Well, it's a certainty that someone, somewhere will praise him as a hero while being interviewed on TV.

Mr.Sunshine

I wonder if this will be on the Discovery Channel in the future.

New show about hostage crisises and the people in them. And squrriels.

Furu

Who cares

again, crazy person! Not getting any form of treatment for his very obvious problems! That should be the issue here, not another political dick waving match.

juice for jesus

The Sierra Club is also anti-immigration, it's consistent with a one-issue mentality where reducing consumption trumps all other issues.

Styrofoam Sammich

Mr.Sunshine wrote: »

I wonder if this will be on the Discovery Channel in the future.

New show about hostage crisises and the people in them. And squrriels.

Finally, someone sees how much of a tragedy this is for the squirrels!

Isidore

Furu wrote: »

Who cares

again, crazy person! Not getting any form of treatment for his very obvious problems! That should be the issue here, not another political dick waving match.

Well put. "Was he liberal? Was he conservative?!" kind of pales in comparison to "why wasn't he getting the help he obviously needed?"

devCharles

I get having squirrels on the list. They're animals. I'm sure they have trouble, but why "of course" squirrels. It's as if someone is telling him as he's writing it that squirrels are going through outrageous suffering currently. My opinion is biased though. I was once attacked by a squirrel.

Perhaps squirrels were behind this.

Styrofoam Sammich

devCharles wrote: »

I get having squirrels on the list. They're animals. I'm sure they have trouble, but why "of course" squirrels. It's as if someone is telling him as he's writing it that squirrels are going through outrageous suffering currently. My opinion is biased though. I was once attacked by a squirrel.

Perhaps squirrels were behind this.

ronya

Isidore wrote: »

Furu wrote: »

Who cares

again, crazy person! Not getting any form of treatment for his very obvious problems! That should be the issue here, not another political dick waving match.

Well put. "Was he liberal? Was he conservative?!" kind of pales in comparison to "why wasn't he getting the help he obviously needed?"

I'm not sure there's a practical way to reliably identify such people right up until they actually strap bombs onto themselves, though.

As for why people care about the dickwaving: because psychological help, even if possible to provide, isn't plausibly on the table for the next couple of decades. But the dickwaving? Is going to be on the news cycle for a while.

e: Wonkette criticizes the dickwaving

Capt Howdy

ThePantsAssociation wrote: »

Tomanta wrote: »

Styrofoam Sammich wrote: »

Tomanta wrote: »

Gyral wrote: »

Discovery Channel? Send in the Mythbusters to negotiate. And by negotiate I mean strap him with C4 and blow him up.

He already has two pipebombs strapped to him. And 2 canisters.

What the difference between 'pipebomp' and 'canister' is I dunno.

One holds Pringles!

I'm guessing the other is a bottle of Gatorade. Holding hostages makes one thirsty.

Gatorade's got what eco-terrorists crave.

Electrolytes and shit?

I thought this was a joke when I first overheard someone talking about. I mean really, the Discovery Channel building? If I had to take bets, this would have been the last TV station HQ I would have picked that would have this happen.

Always figured Fox or CNN were the front runners.

NotYou

Reading the article about all the things he said in his manifesto: http://www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/09/01/maryland.discovery.channel/index.html?hpt=T1

I agree with his ideas. Lets have game shows where the goal is to fix the environment. That sounds fun to watch.

Styrofoam Sammich

He demands that the Discovery Channel broadcast daily prime-time shows devoted to "solutions to save the planet," perhaps in a game-show format, insisting, "Make it interesting so people watch and apply solutions!!!!"

A gameshow where we reduce the human population....

Feed people to squirrels if they can't pass a nature based trivia test?

SiliconStew

The only thing I could think of when reading that manifesto quote was the Book of Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one.

Deebaser

Styrofoam Sammich wrote: »

He demands that the Discovery Channel broadcast daily prime-time shows devoted to "solutions to save the planet," perhaps in a game-show format, insisting, "Make it interesting so people watch and apply solutions!!!!"

A gameshow where we reduce the human population....

Feed people to squirrels if they can't pass a nature based trivia test?

I'm on board if the grand prize is a Hummer.

Styrofoam Sammich

Deebaser wrote: »

Styrofoam Sammich wrote: »

He demands that the Discovery Channel broadcast daily prime-time shows devoted to "solutions to save the planet," perhaps in a game-show format, insisting, "Make it interesting so people watch and apply solutions!!!!"

A gameshow where we reduce the human population....

Feed people to squirrels if they can't pass a nature based trivia test?

I'm on board if the grand prize is a Hummer.

Now those are some double standards I can really get behind.