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Should I pay back rent blood money to my parents?

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  • templewulftemplewulf The Team Chump USARegistered User regular
    edited September 2010
    As I mentioned before, while I changed my mailing address I didn't change the MAIL TO address of those checks so I'd have an excuse to visit my family every couple of weeks,
    No! Bad Spaniard! Bad!
    since they weren't visiting me.
    Well, goddamn, why are you trying to invent excuses to visit them if they don't want to visit you? One-sided relationships are emotionally draining, and you don't need a psychic sinkhole at a stressful stage in your life.

    Aside from them not being worth your time, I don't necessarily think your mother threw out those boxes passive-aggressively. I'm not convinced my mom would understand the need for serial numbers, so she would probably just dump those into a smaller box thinking she's helping out. Maybe you should ask her if she cut out the UPCs or wrote some numbers down.

    On the other hand, my mom never tried to steal "rent" from me, so what do I know?

    templewulf on
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  • The_SpaniardThe_Spaniard It's never lupines Irvine, CaliforniaRegistered User regular
    edited September 2010
    templewulf wrote: »
    As I mentioned before, while I changed my mailing address I didn't change the MAIL TO address of those checks so I'd have an excuse to visit my family every couple of weeks,
    No! Bad Spaniard! Bad!
    since they weren't visiting me.
    Well, goddamn, why are you trying to invent excuses to visit them if they don't want to visit you? One-sided relationships are emotionally draining, and you don't need a psychic sinkhole at a stressful stage in your life.

    Aside from them not being worth your time, I don't necessarily think your mother threw out those boxes passive-aggressively. I'm not convinced my mom would understand the need for serial numbers, so she would probably just dump those into a smaller box thinking she's helping out. Maybe you should ask her if she cut out the UPCs or wrote some numbers down.

    On the other hand, my mom never tried to steal "rent" from me, so what do I know?

    Well I've since fixed the mail to address.

    About the boxes, it's not that she was just trying to be helpful by throwing away boxes and saving space in a house with an abundance of storage space, I specifically told her NOT to throw them away.

    The_Spaniard on
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  • mythagomythago Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    I was keeping the boxes because I had all the cables and whatnot still inside of them and the serial numbers are on the damn box. I told mom very specifically not to throw out those boxes because of that and if there were ever any break in the case the fact that I still have boxes with serial numbers on them that could be matched to the stolen property would be a great help.

    I'm sure you see the connection between telling your mom this, and her mysterious need to throw the boxes out. On some level, I wonder if you weren't testing her.

    Spaniard, what comes across in your posts is a very understandable and natural reluctance to see what your mother and her husband are doing to you. It's hard to look at that kind of thing. But you need to, for your own safety. If it helps, think of your mom as having some kind of temporary but very dangerous mental illness.

    As somebody already pointed out, don't go over there, don't pick up your mail there, don't make excuses to visit, don't discuss your personal business (like money) with them.

    mythago on
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  • Dark_SideDark_Side Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    templewulf wrote: »
    As I mentioned before, while I changed my mailing address I didn't change the MAIL TO address of those checks so I'd have an excuse to visit my family every couple of weeks,
    No! Bad Spaniard! Bad!
    since they weren't visiting me.
    Well, goddamn, why are you trying to invent excuses to visit them if they don't want to visit you? One-sided relationships are emotionally draining, and you don't need a psychic sinkhole at a stressful stage in your life.

    Aside from them not being worth your time, I don't necessarily think your mother threw out those boxes passive-aggressively. I'm not convinced my mom would understand the need for serial numbers, so she would probably just dump those into a smaller box thinking she's helping out. Maybe you should ask her if she cut out the UPCs or wrote some numbers down.

    On the other hand, my mom never tried to steal "rent" from me, so what do I know?

    Well I've since fixed the mail to address.

    About the boxes, it's not that she was just trying to be helpful by throwing away boxes and saving space in a house with an abundance of storage space, I specifically told her NOT to throw them away.

    At the end of the day they're just empty boxes, for goods that have been stolen anyway and it appears you will never get back. The truth is it's her house, you've moved out and she's decided out of her own self interest, or purposeful malice to throw out stuff you left behind. Let the boxes go.

    Your only option far as I can see is to gather a group of friends and make one last trip over there and take ALL of your stuff, put it into a storage unit if you have to, but get it all out, or accept that when you do get around to going and getting some of it, that your stuff may no longer be there.

    Other than that, you need to change the dynamic of this relationship or you will continue to be taken advantage of. We're only getting your side of the story, but there are a lot of warning bells going on in what you've wrote, both for you and your parents. I guess it's best to look at this as a stepping off point, where you are no longer going to deal with this petty crap from people who no longer have control over your decisions in life.

    Dark_Side on
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