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Why can't I sleep?

DorkmanDorkman Registered User regular
edited September 2010 in Help / Advice Forum
For whatever reason I have always seemed to have trouble sleeping. And for the life of me I can't figure out why.

I have talked to people regarding this issue (mainly my GFs family) and they just can't seem to fathom what I am going through. For them, they are able to just decide to go to sleep, and then *BAM* sleep. I wish it were this easy.

For some reason, I just can't seem to clear my mind when I tuck myself. I feel like my mind is constantly going, perhaps thinking about stuff I have been doing, stuff I need to do or just random thoughts. I focus on not thinking of anything, but sure enough my mind wanders on to something else.

Furthermore, it seems recently I can't seem to relax my jaw. For whatever reason when I am going to lay down for sleep it's like I don't know what to do with it. It always feels fatigued and I can't seem to let it just sit there. I am either trying to create a vacuum in my mouth (if that makes sense) to keep it in place or what not. But a lot of evenings it almost feels tired out from just being on my face.

There are some nights that I am on the computer or TV right up to bed time, where as there are some nights that I am reading a book or taking a bath before bed and the results are usually the same. I just don't know how to shake this or where to go for help next. I try to maintain a consistent sleep schedule and usually head to bed around 11 at night, but most nights I am laying in bed past midnight, even sometimes as last as 1 or 2 in the morning, which is not good when I am trying to get up at 6:30..which results in me usually sleeping through my alarm and a whole other pile of frustrations occur.

Any help? Should I just start drinking until I pass out on a nightly basis? Arg!

Poke Black 2 FC: 0390 6923 7158
Dorkman on

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    TheOtherHorsemanTheOtherHorseman Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    So, a few common answers to this question involve some more questions:

    How much caffeine are you consuming through coffee/soda/tea/chocolate/etc.?

    How long before you sleep do you stop consuming caffeine?

    Any new stresses in your life?

    Any old stresses growing or combining to fill your mind?

    If these set off some alarm bells, cut back on caffeine and find ways to chill. If they don't, take some tylenol PM. It is safe and may get the job done, depending on how you react to sleepytime pills. That'll serve as a decent stopgap measure.

    If you can't figure out what it is and/or fix it, I'd then suggest you hit up your doctor and see if you can get any advice.

    Sleep problems are pretty unpleasant, because as they go on they can just make things miserable depending on severity.

    EDIT: throwing this in to be clearer - since this is basically the norm for your life I'm not advocating running off to medicate it away immediately. Find other ways to manage it such as suggestions like breathing exercises, variants of mental tricks like counting sheep / imagining your body growing heavy / what have you, so on. If you respond well to it (give it a try!) then use something like Tylenol PM or equivalent when you absolutely need to get the sleep in.

    If you can't fix things after you've tried a bunch of stuff and your life is suffering for it, or things are super bad, see a doc for it.

    TheOtherHorseman on
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    RayzeRayze Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    That happens to me sometimes, trying to fall asleep but thinking about random stuff which prevents me from drifting off. If you're thinking about things you might have to do the next day, perhaps you could write them down on a piece of paper or whiteboard. Or you could just briefly go through each topic in your mind, reason each topic out for a few minutes and then fall asleep less burdened

    Have you tried opening your mouth slightly and letting it drop? That may be what you meant when you talked about creating a vacuum out of your mouth but I'm not sure

    Rayze on
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    ToldoToldo But actually, WeegianRegistered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Have you tried some breathing exercises? Breathe in through your nose for four counts, hold your breath for seven counts, breathe out through your mouth for eight counts. Repeat three times. You can also simply focus on the words "inhale" and "exhale."

    Another strategy is to prepare your body for sleep. An hour before you go to bed, stay away from brights screens. Dim the light in your room. This is telling your brain the same thing as seeing a sunset would--night time is approaching.

    Tossing and turning is no good; if you simply can't fall asleep, get out of not only your bed, but your bedroom. Get comfortable somewhere else, read a book or a magazine, listen to some chill music. Return to bed only when you feel sleepy.

    Some other tricks that might work: eat your last meal of the day way, way ahead of bedtime. Do some sort of physical work (taking a walk, lifting for a while) during the day.

    Try some of these tricks and see if they work. Happy sleeping!

    Toldo on
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    SojornSojorn Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    There are some nights that I am on the computer or TV right up to bed time, where as there are some nights that I am reading a book

    FYI, the body regulates sleep based upon several things, one of the primary being exposure to light. If you find yourself unable to sleep, try turning off the TV and computer and turning down the lights in the house a bit earlier. Bright light, even artificial light, inhibits the release of melatonin, a chemical which encourages sleepiness.

    Speaking of which, melatonin supplements are available, although you should consult a doctor before trying any drugs.

    Drinking yourself to sleep, while effective, is not necessarily the best option as it may promote dependency. A few brews may even be beneficial to your health, but the amount that it usually takes to induce sleep is rarely considered a few.

    I work a crazy night shift, and honestly, the most useful thing I've found is to wake up earlier (2-3hrs) than I used to on a day shift. This promotes me becoming tired sooner, and falling asleep comes easier.

    Sojorn on
    XBox Live: NBKHavoc | Facebook | Sorry for the sig, it's just temporary. =)
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    DorkmanDorkman Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    I don't drink many caffeinated drinks, especially in the evening hours. So I don't think that is the issue, but I will defenitly be keeping an eye on that.

    I think I do need to get into more of a routine as to when lights go out and when I am no longer allowed to look at electronic blinking lights. It just frustrates me when I don't even look at a computer or TV all night and still get stuck in this rut.

    Frustrating is the word for sure.

    Dorkman on
    Poke Black 2 FC: 0390 6923 7158
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    Zilla360Zilla360 21st Century. |She/Her| Trans* Woman In Aviators Firing A Bazooka. ⚛️Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    http://lifehacker.com/5548150/how-to-reboot-your-sleep-cycle-and-get-the-rest-you-deserve

    Also if you're on the computer a lot, there is a program you could try that automatically adjusts the brightness/contrast of your monitor, in sync with your time-zone.

    Zilla360 on
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    bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    A lot of my people in my family suffer from what you do, OP. Their solution is to take a notebook with them to bed and start writing down ideas. Then, after a while, put it down and go to sleep.

    bowen on
    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
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    ihmmyihmmy Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Try a little white noise, like soft music or something, playing while you try to fall asleep. I find it relaxes me, and keeps me from getting too focused on any particular train of thought.

    a trick my mom taught me when I was much younger, was to feel your body getting heavier and heavier until you fell asleep. With every exhale, feel a part of your body sink further into the bed. I usually worked from my toes up

    ihmmy on
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    OnTheLastCastleOnTheLastCastle let's keep it haimish for the peripatetic Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    I have a lot of trouble falling asleep for the reasons you described sometimes.

    Try listening to a mostly boring audiobook. I listen to the sookie stackhouse novels if I can't fall asleep. I often fall asleep to them now. Otherwise, here is my ritual:

    Earplugs, mouth guard (teeth grinding), eye mask. Fan on. 2 unisom or lately melatonin pills a half hour before I want to get into bed and listen to some audiobook. When sleepiness is imminent, maybe 10 minutes, I turn off the book and roll over.

    The audio really lets me not think about anything but her voice.

    OnTheLastCastle on
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    BuddiesBuddies Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Dorkman wrote: »
    For whatever reason I have always seemed to have trouble sleeping. And for the life of me I can't figure out why.

    I have talked to people regarding this issue (mainly my GFs family) and they just can't seem to fathom what I am going through. For them, they are able to just decide to go to sleep, and then *BAM* sleep. I wish it were this easy.

    For some reason, I just can't seem to clear my mind when I tuck myself. I feel like my mind is constantly going, perhaps thinking about stuff I have been doing, stuff I need to do or just random thoughts. I focus on not thinking of anything, but sure enough my mind wanders on to something else.

    Furthermore, it seems recently I can't seem to relax my jaw. For whatever reason when I am going to lay down for sleep it's like I don't know what to do with it. It always feels fatigued and I can't seem to let it just sit there. I am either trying to create a vacuum in my mouth (if that makes sense) to keep it in place or what not. But a lot of evenings it almost feels tired out from just being on my face.

    There are some nights that I am on the computer or TV right up to bed time, where as there are some nights that I am reading a book or taking a bath before bed and the results are usually the same. I just don't know how to shake this or where to go for help next. I try to maintain a consistent sleep schedule and usually head to bed around 11 at night, but most nights I am laying in bed past midnight, even sometimes as last as 1 or 2 in the morning, which is not good when I am trying to get up at 6:30..which results in me usually sleeping through my alarm and a whole other pile of frustrations occur.

    Any help? Should I just start drinking until I pass out on a nightly basis? Arg!

    Quite simply, you are stressed. Something is stressing you out, and it could be something as simple as fatigue from not sleeping well or as complicated as work/school/relationship.

    In any case, I suggest getting on an exercise and diet plan. Put yourself on a rigid, not hard but strict, exercise program and eat healthy. Your body will crave sleep when you exercise and eat correctly.

    Also Pick a bed time and stick to it, make sure you turn the TV off and turn down the lights an hour before hand. When you actually go to sleep, try and get the room as dark as you possibly can, and with as little noise as you possibly can.

    If you continue to have fatigue in your jaw, then find out what is stressing you out and talk to someone about it. And really, you know what it is and I'm betting on school/work. Even just saying the words "Ugh, I'm so stressed out over this schoolyear" to someone can help destress you a little.

    Buddies on
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    blakfeldblakfeld Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    everyone else hit on a lot of the things I would say, I find the breathing exercises work well, and this

    www.rainymood.com

    has done wonders for me

    blakfeld on
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    taliosfalcontaliosfalcon Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    I wouldn't worry about it too too much if the steps people have mentioned don't work for you, going to bed at 11 and not falling asleep till 1 really isn't that bad. I do kinda the same thing only i'm often lying there for 4+ hours before falling asleep ( i can't remember ever falling asleep in under two), after seeing a few GP"s about it they all told me you're better off just living with it if you can than medicating. but ymmv.
    As mentioned above I have found over the counter melatonin supplements to work ok when I absolutely need to sleep

    taliosfalcon on
    steam xbox - adeptpenguin
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    OnTheLastCastleOnTheLastCastle let's keep it haimish for the peripatetic Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    They recommend if you do not fall asleep in 15 minutes, you get up and do something light such as reading. Laying in bed doesn't usually help me so I've found that helpful.

    The sweet spot after I take medicine is 20-40 mins in I've found. If I stay up longer, I will not go to sleep easily at all.

    OnTheLastCastle on
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    CooterTKECooterTKE Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    You should find some exercises to do about 1-2 hours to do before bed and to cut out any meals or sugar 3-4 hours before bed. My wife also puts lavander on the pillows because it supposed to help you relax.

    CooterTKE on
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    AlyceInWonderlandAlyceInWonderland Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    With the jaw thing? I have the same problem with my eyes. I feel like they're rolling back into my head and it's uncomfortable and I have to straighten them out, and I just end up laying in bed uncomfortable. ...The thing is though...it's because I'm thinking about it. Don't think about your jaw, and it won't bother you.

    AlyceInWonderland on
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    OnTheLastCastleOnTheLastCastle let's keep it haimish for the peripatetic Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    With the jaw thing? I have the same problem with my eyes. I feel like they're rolling back into my head and it's uncomfortable and I have to straighten them out, and I just end up laying in bed uncomfortable. ...The thing is though...it's because I'm thinking about it. Don't think about your jaw, and it won't bother you.

    Not thinking about my jaw doesn't help me though. I have bruxism (teeth grinding), probably due to having my jaw broken in two places and wired shut a few years ago.

    A mouth guard has been super helpful though. Not wearing it is a crapshoot on whether or not I'll wake up in lots of neck/headache pain. Unisom has also helped me not grind as hard I believe, that's initially why I started taking it.

    OnTheLastCastle on
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    AlyceInWonderlandAlyceInWonderland Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    I have trouble falling asleep in general as well. My boyfriend can be out like a light in under 5 minutes, and I have no idea how he does it. However I found that drinking warm/hot things before bed help me fall asleep faster. A cup of warm milk, or tea does wonders (sleepy time tea!), and so does relaxing in a hot bath for a bit.

    AlyceInWonderland on
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    SkeithSkeith Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    The milk thing is probably because of the tryptophan, or it could be the temperature making you more comfortable. The OP might want to try supplements of that. I've had good results with 5-HTP supplements; used to have very vivid dreams, to the point that I would be thrashing in bed and waking myself up every couple of hours. It also took two hours of reading to get to sleep. That stuff really helped.

    Skeith on
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    FirstComradeStalinFirstComradeStalin Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    How has no one said anything about sex or masturbation?

    Works like a charm

    FirstComradeStalin on
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    An-DAn-D Enthusiast AshevilleRegistered User regular
    edited September 2010
    How has no one said anything about sex or masturbation?

    Works like a charm

    ^ This guy has some bold ideas.

    Masturbation and sex released endorphins and relaxes you and its 100% free (well, in theory), fun, reliable and natural.

    An-D on
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    EncEnc A Fool with Compassion Pronouns: He, Him, HisRegistered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Sex or regular exercise throughout the day will also help you sleep. How sedentary is your lifestyle?

    Enc on
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    DorkmanDorkman Registered User regular
    edited September 2010
    Wow, great suggestions! I leave the interworld for 2 days and this place explodes. I love you guys! <3

    First of all, I guess one of my problems has been caffeine. I have been taking excedrin over the last couple days due to a persistent headache I have had off and on over the last couple days. Seems the stuff is laced with caffeine. Either way, I moved to regular extra strength Tylenol and the sleep has been a bit better.

    As for the jaw thing, I really can't figure it out. I have tried a warm cloth to try and relax the muscles in my face and everything, it just seems like they are incredibly tight and sore and I don't really notice it until I am doing nothing, hence the issues with trying to sleep. I did recently move to a new city and started up a new educational career (Mechanical Engineering Technology), but I don't believe I am stressed about it. This jaw issue has been lingering for a couple months, so maybe it is all intertwined. I guess my best bet is to continue on with trying to relax before bed and seeing if it passes.

    As for exercise, it hasn't been good the last couple months. I really need to get on to a schedule or something. One plan is to bike to and from school instead of driving (6.2kms one way). I don't know if it sustainable, but it may help with destressing or what have you.

    I have taken ZMA in the past, but I don't think I have seen many results. Mind you I had very erratic sleeping behaviors so maybe I was just putting too much emphasis on them. Might be worth it to try them again.

    Dorkman on
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