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No One Lives Forever is a total (bad) ripoff of Splinter Cell
joshofalltrades
Class TraitorSmoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
Class TraitorSmoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
So I was playing through Splinter Cell: Conviction
(the game that should be held up as a gleaming example of games-as-art instead of that gauche Shadow of the Colossus. More like Sucking Off the Colossus)
and my brother came in the room and told me I might like this other game where you play as a secret agent. Well he had me right up until I found out you play as a girl.
(It's available on the Mac! That's how you know it's a good game!)
Nevertheless I decided to give it a shot just to see how bad it really was. I was horrified to discover that they had stolen several things wholesale from the Splinter Cell series.
First off, you have to sneak around in some missions, and getting discovered will immediately end the mission. Hello, Splinter Cell did that way better back in its first iteration. But the rabbit hole doesn't stop there. Shit, I'm just getting started.
As you're walking around, you find intelligence items that are obviously trying to be funny in a "HA HA" sort of way but end up falling completely flat. The humor here is directed at slobbering mongoloids and beaten to death by the end. What's retarded is that the items are just letters and briefcases laying around. I mean, in Splinter Cell you had to hack a computer to find any information, and it was actually useful information!
Technically you are a spy in No One Lives Forever just like in Splinter Cell but you're this wussy girl who's supposed to be all agile and shit? Well the best you can do is jump like in every other FPS. Get with the program Archer. Splinter Cell has been around for ages and lets you do all kinds of crazy stunts like hanging off of ledges, doing the splits high in a corridor and dropping down on the unwary enemy, etc. It's like Monolith and Fox weren't even trying to compete and just wanted to make the fuckingest budget title possible just to extract our money.
Oh and the graphics. Hello, graphics from ten years ago! While in Splinter Cell: Conviction you will encounter realistic depictions of human beings with actual facial expressions, the team behind No One Lives Forever was just fine with having everybody stare blankly ahead with their mouth parts moving up and down. Occasionally an eyelid will droop down. It makes me laugh it's so bad.
I could go on and on here but I will stop here. FOX/Monolith, don't release another game unless you're willing to actually try like Ubisoft. But since you will never actually accomplish that, just stop making games, okay?
(the game that should be held up as a gleaming example of games-as-art instead of that gauche Shadow of the Colossus. More like Sucking Off the Colossus)
and my brother came in the room and told me I might like this other game where you play as a secret agent. Well he had me right up until I found out you play as a girl.
(It's available on the Mac! That's how you know it's a good game!)
Nevertheless I decided to give it a shot just to see how bad it really was. I was horrified to discover that they had stolen several things wholesale from the Splinter Cell series.
First off, you have to sneak around in some missions, and getting discovered will immediately end the mission. Hello, Splinter Cell did that way better back in its first iteration. But the rabbit hole doesn't stop there. Shit, I'm just getting started.
As you're walking around, you find intelligence items that are obviously trying to be funny in a "HA HA" sort of way but end up falling completely flat. The humor here is directed at slobbering mongoloids and beaten to death by the end. What's retarded is that the items are just letters and briefcases laying around. I mean, in Splinter Cell you had to hack a computer to find any information, and it was actually useful information!
Technically you are a spy in No One Lives Forever just like in Splinter Cell but you're this wussy girl who's supposed to be all agile and shit? Well the best you can do is jump like in every other FPS. Get with the program Archer. Splinter Cell has been around for ages and lets you do all kinds of crazy stunts like hanging off of ledges, doing the splits high in a corridor and dropping down on the unwary enemy, etc. It's like Monolith and Fox weren't even trying to compete and just wanted to make the fuckingest budget title possible just to extract our money.
Oh and the graphics. Hello, graphics from ten years ago! While in Splinter Cell: Conviction you will encounter realistic depictions of human beings with actual facial expressions, the team behind No One Lives Forever was just fine with having everybody stare blankly ahead with their mouth parts moving up and down. Occasionally an eyelid will droop down. It makes me laugh it's so bad.
I could go on and on here but I will stop here. FOX/Monolith, don't release another game unless you're willing to actually try like Ubisoft. But since you will never actually accomplish that, just stop making games, okay?
joshofalltrades on
0
Posts
I've wondered into gamefaqs, excuse me
That is a franchise worth reviving.
Fucking stop.
SteamID: Baroque And Roll
NOLF...more like MILF! zomgzamirite?
All 3 of them
The public must know about this blatant plagiarism
Not really, she seems to be relatively young.
Though I suppose she may be a mother
Five in SE++ in the last two weeks.
I've made six in SE++ ever.
SteamID: Baroque And Roll
I mean seriously, enough people bought it that they were able to make a sequel?
I have no faith in people anymore
make more threads
Just don't play the spin off Contract J.A.C.K.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvdf5n-zI14
SteamID: Baroque And Roll
i am sick
Okay
Seriously though NOLF and NOLF2 are getting dug out and played again today because I play them at least once every year
I would love for the franchise to get a reboot
19 threads in over three years.
Most of them reporting awesome posts.
Hate makin' threads.
SteamID: Baroque And Roll
Name is right on the tippa my tongue
Evil Genius
Some of us are human
Evil Genius Fandy
EDIT: DEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS
That was a tight vidjagame
The gadgets were cool as hell too. Also the dialogue. When did games stop being funny? Why can't we have that again?
Fandy did you ever play Dungeon Keeper? All makin traps and goblins to kill the heroes intrudin in your dungeon?
Evil Genius?
Beaten so very hard.
MORE HALO
Brutal Legend.
SteamID: Baroque And Roll
Drawin a blank.
Edit / Eh. There ya go. Brutal Legend. That was alright.
But it's also made by the creator of Monkey Island so
I haven't, but I heard it's super fun
I need a good game like that to n-joy
Also the Monkey Island remakes (though they probably don't count).
I have very, very low hopes for the humor of anything named "Deathspank".
I'm still worming my way through Season 2, slowly
I'm Commander BigDes and this is my favourite thread on the Social Entropy++
I have the Wii version, should I get around to playing it once I finish Yakuza?