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[Hope] and the loss thereof.
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A Fool with CompassionPronouns: He, Him, HisRegistered User regular
A Fool with CompassionPronouns: He, Him, HisRegistered User regular
I'm usually on the answer questions side of H/A but I do have a question that I have been grappling with, and one I cannot seem to solve. It's an important one, at least to me. I am 25, I have a nice life for my age. I have a fantastic wife, two cats, a small but close group of friends. I consider myself pragmatic and fairly objective upon most things. A lot of shit has happened to myself and those around me so far in life. Probably not more than most people face, but after the fourth unnatural death in the family, the loss of several of the remaining living's livelihoods to greedy or opportunistic people around them, firsthand witnessing of people doing deplorably violent and wicked things to people around me, and more... well, I cannot help but think the vast majority of people are amoral, selfish, or downright evil.
Objectively, I understand that my perception of good and evil is only a signifier of my own morality. I understand that what I perceive as good and evil is little more than my own limited perceptions upon what is likely a much more complicated issue than a simple good and evil dichotomy can ever explain. Still, when I see actions that are willfully and deplorably evil, I cannot help but lose hope in the world as a whole.
Here is a lesser example from a few months back: at my place of work a woman who had worked there for 30+ years came down with a very aggressive cancer. She kept working until she was so weak from therapy that she couldn't physically come in. The day she was packing up, sadly resigning after so many years, another coworker entered her office and said "Dib's on Laurie's office when she dies!" She was standing right there as they were laughing. They didn't apologize. As an isolated incident, I'd say this was just a case of one asshole being an asshole. But this is something I'm starting to see everywhere, all the time. People being petty, mean, and downright disgusting in everything they do.
Another example: Not long ago a friend of mine was offered the job of his dreams. His current job counter offered to keep him, in such a fashion he would be crazy not to take. He stayed, and his paperwork gets delayed and delayed. Finally, after the dream job finally pulled their offer (the day after), they told him they couldn't possibly do what they offered him due to a technicality (one they exploited to make his entire signed contract void). They quite possibly ruined this guy's life, just so they could keep a seat filled in a cubicle farm. It was clear they knew full well the fellow's desire for that job, and it was equally clear they planned the paperwork shutdown from step one. Different office, different field, same evil.
Another example: A friend decided to harbor a lady he knew from school when her boyfriend and her had a fight. He was a good friend of both, and wanted to offer her a place to stay while they sorted out their problems (the lady had no where else to go). The boyfriend finds out, and makes it clear he wants to kill her, and him. They go to the police, the people who are supposed to do good in this world (that's their job), and are told to go home. They won't touch it, despite having sufficient evidence by state law to intervene, they don't take them serious because they looked "like fucking hippies." That night, both the friend and the girl are dead from multiple gunshots, and several other friends are wounded from the same gun. The police show up and arrest the six wounded, despite dozens of witnesses. Different field, different place, more evil from both the murderer and the police looking to save their own asses for not acting.
And the question: How do you live in a world like this without getting entirely depressed? I am slowly becoming angrier and angrier with everything around me. I have no desire to do harm to anyone, but around me harm is everywhere. Open and intended, thrown against people with a sort of blatant disdain for respect that is infuriating. My rational mind tells me to simply ignore it and compartmentalize upon what is good in my life. There is a lot of good, and I've had to bust my ass to make it so and make it secure. But each day it's getting harder to ignore the bad out there.
TL: DR: Lawful good fellow slowly being convinced that the world is terrible and there is nothing he can do about it. How do you keep your chin up in spite of it all?
Objectively, I understand that my perception of good and evil is only a signifier of my own morality. I understand that what I perceive as good and evil is little more than my own limited perceptions upon what is likely a much more complicated issue than a simple good and evil dichotomy can ever explain. Still, when I see actions that are willfully and deplorably evil, I cannot help but lose hope in the world as a whole.
Here is a lesser example from a few months back: at my place of work a woman who had worked there for 30+ years came down with a very aggressive cancer. She kept working until she was so weak from therapy that she couldn't physically come in. The day she was packing up, sadly resigning after so many years, another coworker entered her office and said "Dib's on Laurie's office when she dies!" She was standing right there as they were laughing. They didn't apologize. As an isolated incident, I'd say this was just a case of one asshole being an asshole. But this is something I'm starting to see everywhere, all the time. People being petty, mean, and downright disgusting in everything they do.
Another example: Not long ago a friend of mine was offered the job of his dreams. His current job counter offered to keep him, in such a fashion he would be crazy not to take. He stayed, and his paperwork gets delayed and delayed. Finally, after the dream job finally pulled their offer (the day after), they told him they couldn't possibly do what they offered him due to a technicality (one they exploited to make his entire signed contract void). They quite possibly ruined this guy's life, just so they could keep a seat filled in a cubicle farm. It was clear they knew full well the fellow's desire for that job, and it was equally clear they planned the paperwork shutdown from step one. Different office, different field, same evil.
Another example: A friend decided to harbor a lady he knew from school when her boyfriend and her had a fight. He was a good friend of both, and wanted to offer her a place to stay while they sorted out their problems (the lady had no where else to go). The boyfriend finds out, and makes it clear he wants to kill her, and him. They go to the police, the people who are supposed to do good in this world (that's their job), and are told to go home. They won't touch it, despite having sufficient evidence by state law to intervene, they don't take them serious because they looked "like fucking hippies." That night, both the friend and the girl are dead from multiple gunshots, and several other friends are wounded from the same gun. The police show up and arrest the six wounded, despite dozens of witnesses. Different field, different place, more evil from both the murderer and the police looking to save their own asses for not acting.
And the question: How do you live in a world like this without getting entirely depressed? I am slowly becoming angrier and angrier with everything around me. I have no desire to do harm to anyone, but around me harm is everywhere. Open and intended, thrown against people with a sort of blatant disdain for respect that is infuriating. My rational mind tells me to simply ignore it and compartmentalize upon what is good in my life. There is a lot of good, and I've had to bust my ass to make it so and make it secure. But each day it's getting harder to ignore the bad out there.
TL: DR: Lawful good fellow slowly being convinced that the world is terrible and there is nothing he can do about it. How do you keep your chin up in spite of it all?
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I'm not sure anyone is going to be able to really give you much of an answer other than for you to appreciate what you have. Realize that it's okay to be depressed or upset about things like you mentioned, but don't let it consume you. You said yourself that you're in a pretty good place in life. I'm also 25 and I'm not even remotely where I imagined I'd be, but I guess I just suck it up and move on instead of dwelling and letting the negative control me.
Maybe watch the PATV episode about Child's Play or something and remember there are still people out there doing good as well.
I'd wager a vast majority of people have at least one thing in their past that if they sit and think about it for any period of time could make them weep for humanity and at the same time hope that it finds its well-deserved end. I can boast a few myself, but what would be the point? I know exactly where you are with the anger; I don't have the tools at the moment to deal with the big things, so my anger at them gets refocused into minor disappointments. I'm hoping this is something that will get better with time and some help.
All I feel I can recommend is grief therapy. There may be someplace near you that offers it at a low cost or free, depending on your circumstances, but friends of yours died violently, and to me that is reason enough to seek it.
I've considered therapy, but always told myself it would be a waste of time and money. It didn't seem to help my sister when she went in. She ended up with anti-depressants and drugs and things. Don't know that I'd like being told I need to medicate to keep a positive outlook. Probably the best path to go, still.
Thanks for reading, and apologies for the rather vague question. This can be locked.
But I'm the mod so I get to have the last word if I want.