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WHAT THE FUCK(Dropping the N-bomb)
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Registered User regular
Registered User regular
So here's my deal. I'm an African American male. However, I'm probably the whiter then the whitest white guy on the planet.
Anyways, that's not the issue. The issue is, towards the end of our clinic, a paitent who was waiting for medication(pain meds, naturally) asked me to see if the nurse who was working on it was available, I didn't know the specifics, so I asked the who, why the whole bit. Eventually I found him, they talked to him, and that was that.
As they were leaving one of the patients caregivers was verbalizing their flustration with the event, and referred to myself, twice, as a Dumbass N-, loud enough for the whole lobby to hear as they were leaving. I was, naturally, too shocked to even comprehend what just happend, thank the lord.
Naturally, they are going to get kicked out of our clinic. My job is cool like that. I did all the right things and they are pretty much going to get their asses hand to them.
However, they are coming in tomorrow. And I am still furious, especially since I've defended them on more then one occasion(They are kinda white trash).
There is about a good 50% chance I will see them again. And I will probably lose it if I do. I might lose it if I know they are even there. I've asked for the day off, but my job is asking if I can just be gone for the duration of their stay.
I am honestly split on this. The math says it'll be cool, come in. My heart says I might just hunt them down and speak my mind. I have no idea what to do.
HALP.
Anyways, that's not the issue. The issue is, towards the end of our clinic, a paitent who was waiting for medication(pain meds, naturally) asked me to see if the nurse who was working on it was available, I didn't know the specifics, so I asked the who, why the whole bit. Eventually I found him, they talked to him, and that was that.
As they were leaving one of the patients caregivers was verbalizing their flustration with the event, and referred to myself, twice, as a Dumbass N-, loud enough for the whole lobby to hear as they were leaving. I was, naturally, too shocked to even comprehend what just happend, thank the lord.
Naturally, they are going to get kicked out of our clinic. My job is cool like that. I did all the right things and they are pretty much going to get their asses hand to them.
However, they are coming in tomorrow. And I am still furious, especially since I've defended them on more then one occasion(They are kinda white trash).
There is about a good 50% chance I will see them again. And I will probably lose it if I do. I might lose it if I know they are even there. I've asked for the day off, but my job is asking if I can just be gone for the duration of their stay.
I am honestly split on this. The math says it'll be cool, come in. My heart says I might just hunt them down and speak my mind. I have no idea what to do.
HALP.
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Regardless, I'd do what your job is asking and just be gone for the duration of the guy's visit. Personally, I'd probably stay as a "I have a job and you don't" kind of statement. That seems to be the best kind of revenge you could get here.
Take the time off, get over the fact that people are racist, move on with your life.
Your life is probably way better than their's. Let that satisfy your aggressive cravings and just keep
on trucking.
Second of all, I have found that once a person reaches a certain point in their life, it is extremely difficult to convince them that they are being inappropriate. Even if you manage to have a rational, mature conversation about why using such a word is bad, it likely won't do any good.
Third, it's extremely likely that any confrontation will either end up in a shouting match (which isn't going to look good for you, at work - this guy is already leaving, what does he have to lose?) or it could end up violent if you or he get angry enough (and that will DEFINITELY lose you your job).
My vote is that you do what your boss asked, and go in when he isn't there. The chances that you will run in to him are likely minimal, and even if he is still there when you show up, just let your coworkers know that you are trying to avoid him, so you may step out if he stops by. Be mature, be the better person, and be a good example of why racism and stereotyping are bad and stupid.
But uh, yeah, I know where you're coming from, and it's better to just ignore it as much as possible. Dude's just broken in a way he doesn't know how to cope with, so he's resorting to blind rage. If you do see him, you should tell him he's sorry he lost his job, and that you want him to work things out, because you should want the best for him: You don't want this guy to resort to racism to deal with his problems, it's unhealthy for him, and society as a whole. Just do your best to help this guy out if you can, and if just avoiding him is the kind of solution you can deal with, stick with that. But don't start a fight, it will reflect poorly on you, and even though you have an emotional right to totally hate this dude, legally you could find yourself in a bit of trouble. Just stay cool, and don't be too hurt; He has no real understanding of what it's really like to be on the brunt end of a racist comment, so he's unlikely to empathize unless he can see that you're a real person.
I know this sucks, and I know it hurts, and I know it's pretty fucking scary. But you might be able to have a positive impact on this dude's life after everything's said and done. Just avoid taking all this passive-aggressive advice, it's unhealthy for you and just creates walls. Don't buy into it, it's a shitty way to think.
Oh, and I would just ask them to call you when the dude has left. They're doing the right thing in firing them, but if you need the whole day off, just tell them so.
People call other people names. You just happened to hear it & Unfortunately it was at your job. I get called all kinds of things at my job. They are saying it to bother you. So not letting it bother you is the best course of action. Being in customer service, this kind of thing used to bug the heck outta me, but now I find it rather amusing, and that is the trick.
They are silly geese, with silly opinions. Forget them.
I know the word's more charged than most bad names, but... Yeah. I doubt it's the first, nor will it be the last time you'll be called that in your life (though few people are quite big enough douchebags to use it to your face), and you're certainly going to get a lot of other names while you're at it. At least once a week I get sent to a client who considers dago and guinea to be casual terms, and he knows I'm Italian. A jewish coworker refuses to even go there anymore, I'm assuming the guy's no stranger to worse words. There's a lot of aggressive douchebags in the world. If you stop to get angry at every asshole, you'll never finish your grocery shopping, let alone get through a day at work.
it's a word steeped in racist history and horror, but a lot of words are
some people are dicks
just relax, and move on
if you can afford not coming in and your job is offering it, take the time if you need to
do not make it into a scene by "hunting down" the guy, let it go
Yeah, just have to roll with the punches on this one; in your mind you'll be angry that this cunt called you a bad name, and gets away with it, scott-free, but at the end of the day, you have a job providing a high standard of care to ill people, doing good work, whilst on the other hand the individual who abused you is quite likely the human equivalent of a used nappy.
So why should you care what garbage is going through their head? You shouldn't. Their opinion is irrelevant. Feel free to continue being awesome.
Moderately- unrelated note: i'm Asian, and sometimes get told to go back to where i came from. However, i don't like Glasgow...
I agree with this, except the guy isn't getting away with it all. He's being fired. So I don't see why you would need to "hunt him down" or whatever. The worst you could do to him is already done.
just do your job like an adult, avoid this dude, and cash that paycheck with a smile on your face.
It never ceases to amaze me that the N-bomb is the one word in the english language that is pretty much GUARANTEED to escalate things way out of control. (not that i'm defending this guy, or the use of the word. i'm not. it just amazes me that a single word can incite such emotion)
Nothing fights ignorant malice like goodwill. It will either diffuse the anger entirely or make you immediately perceived as the righteous figure in the conflict.
You know, as long as that won't get you fired.
Being the grown-up fucking sucks, and it's definitely not as immediately satisfying as retaliation, but there is literally no good reason to give them the power to damage your life over the long term, as that is all that retaliation will really accomplish.
This is good advice. Everyone is expecting you to flip out and be offended. No one is telling you that you can't be offended, but I would simply encourage you to be the better man in this situation. Anyone that uses that word is obviously very ignorant and socially irresponsible. It would behoove you to use restraint and to continue acting in a pleasant and courteous manner. Good luck.
They obviously could have called me anything, and I wouldn't have given a damn. Hell, I didn't even KNOW it was possible for me to get angry at somthing like this. I mean, I've been shit on alot worse thanks to my line of work(sometimes litterally) and I've taken it all with a smile and thank you.
So it's kind of perplexing to me too. I think mostly just the straw that broke the camel's back. There was litterally no possible excuse for their conduct. She was just being a bitch for no other reason then being a bitch.
I think I just needed to vent a bit honestly.
Apparently she's not coming in tomorrow as originally scheduled, but next week, which is a damn good thing.
I just needed a bit of time in between the next time I see them. Next week I'll be perfectly fine.
Can't say I blame you for a second.
Really I don't think theres anything to be done here or any example to be set. Trying to get revenge is pointless as he probably doesn't even know how deeply the slur affected you. It's a sad reality that for a hell of a lot of people it's still a joke.
If you really feel like you need to not be there while he is than go for it. Political correctness will scare your employer into giving you that much but taking the whole day off just makes you look bad at your job.
Working in the medical profession you're going to come across people from all walks of life every day and a lot of them are going to have more offensive things to throw at you than the n-bomb. Treat it as a learning experience and learn to grow a thicker skin.
Learn to ignore it, and eventually even laugh at it. Human ignorance is really quite hilarious. Like I said above, there's a reason why you're on that side of the counter. Take pride in your position.
At the same time, keep in mind that there may be no intention to offend, not just when someone offends you, but when communicating to someone else.
It also looks like nertendo didn't really read the OP, and he shouldn't do that again.