Down + A, my webcomic

tapion91tapion91 Registered User
edited November 2010 in Artist's Corner
My friends and I have been working on a series of webcomics and have been releasing one every 2 to 3 weeks over the last few months. I would love to get your feedback on what can be improved and what you like.

Here is our first comic. For the rest go to http://downplusa.com
2010-07-29-ThePokewalkerForWeb.jpg

tapion91 on

Posts

  • flowerhoneyflowerhoney Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    Didnt think the comic was very funny, but the "I'm not gonna raichu a love song" had me in tears

    I would wear that shirt, everyday. (not everyday)

    flowerhoney on
  • IrukaIruka Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited October 2010
    You are fighting an uphill battle trying to start a gaming comic. You are one in a sea of mediocre comics, so you'll really have to work at it if you want this to be anything other than a side project you do for fun. The drawing isnt the worst, but it needs work. Everything is flat, really flat, and the shading isnt helping. I would check out the tutorial thread on the top of the forum and start working on some fundamentals. this is a great one:
    http://www.itchstudios.com/psg/art_tut.htm

    Despite the horrible clashing redtext, I like this one
    2010-08-29-SomewhereofthecoastofFla_toSize.jpg

    Its just alittle different.

    Welcome to the forums, I hope you stick around.

    Iruka on
  • winter_combat_knightwinter_combat_knight Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    Your lines are a bit messy. Are you using a pen tool to create vectore lines? If you are, you need to practice some more to create cleaner, less jaggy lines. At the moment its kinda ruining your artwork.
    Other than that, the art needs work, but overall its consistant, and your colours are pretty good.

    Im shite at writing and dont get gaming jokes so cant say much about it. though this comic made me smile
    2010-08-03-greatTag_toSize.jpg

    just keep at it

    winter_combat_knight on
  • MangoesMangoes Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    Didnt think the comic was very funny, but the "I'm not gonna raichu a love song" had me in tears

    I would wear that shirt, everyday. (not everyday)
    I thought the same thing, but then I googled it and realized he didn't even come up with it.

    Mangoes on
  • tapion91tapion91 Registered User
    edited October 2010
    Thanks for the feedback everybody. We will try to use these suggestions to improve our comics in the future.

    We also have plans to renovate the website, and will be doing a board game review podcast.

    tapion91 on
  • flowerhoneyflowerhoney Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    CapnMango wrote: »
    Didnt think the comic was very funny, but the "I'm not gonna raichu a love song" had me in tears

    I would wear that shirt, everyday. (not everyday)
    I thought the same thing, but then I googled it and realized he didn't even come up with it.

    oh what

    flowerhoney on
  • tapion91tapion91 Registered User
    edited October 2010
    Since when is it frowned upon to put a meme or two in your works?! :P

    I will admit we are still trying to find our humor. Memes will probably not be involved in any future comics unless they are the brunt of the joke.

    Also, the red text in the zombie shark comic was meant as a callback to poorly done powerpoint presentations.

    tapion91 on
  • MustangMustang Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    tapion91 wrote: »
    Also, the red text in the zombie shark comic was meant as a callback to poorly done powerpoint presentations.

    Just for future reference that really only works if your comic is of a high quality, then it looks intentionally bad. Where as this just looks bad. I'm not trying to be a dick, but you really need that contrast for it to be funny.

    Mustang on
  • tapion91tapion91 Registered User
    edited October 2010
    Yeah we kinda came to the same conclusion.

    I'm really very appreciative of all of your constructive criticisms. It is the only way we will improve.

    tapion91 on
  • MangoesMangoes Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    I'll admit, while your comic needs some work, I like your attitude. Keep at it.

    Mangoes on
  • MustangMustang Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    Agreed, you'll kick ass if you keep at it with an open attitude to criticism.

    Mustang on
  • tapion91tapion91 Registered User
    edited October 2010
    New Comic! We spent a lot more time working on the shading for this one. Let me know what you guys think.

    2010-10-30-HDB_gencon_day1_toSize.jpg

    tapion91 on
  • earthwormadamearthwormadam ancient crust Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    Personally I think just doing your comics in black and white until you get the hang of it would be extremely beneficial. The colors don't look half bad, but you'd be better off focusing on making good comics and then polishing them up with color once you get there.

    Your layouts look pretty nice, and everything seems well framed. The word bubbles could use some work and the text is a bit small. The lines are also on the wobbly side and don't seem very confident. The joke in the last one just has no punch, but as people pointed out, some of your other ones were pretty funny.

    Also I know its just a preference, but I absolutely hate photo backgrounds in webcomics. It just clashes and looks lazy. Also its probably best to avoid blurring things like that in PS, in fact its best to avoid anything that looks photoshoppy all together like filters and such.

    earthwormadam on
  • MustangMustang Registered User regular
    edited October 2010
    adam wrote:
    Also I know its just a preference, but I absolutely hate photo backgrounds in webcomics.
    I don't think it's a preference thing or not, it looks plain terrible.

    Also I agree with Adam that you should be kicking it with black and white at the moment. A thing you need to learn right now is how to give your drawings weight with variations in your line width.

    Here's a link to a thing that may help explain it better than I can.
    http://www.teamspecialolympics.com/tutorials.php?id=12921

    Mustang on
  • earthwormadamearthwormadam ancient crust Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    I forgot to mention going simple black and while will help you streamline making comics, therefor helping you produce more, in turn improving your skills.

    You're cramming all sorts of unnecessary stuff in your comics, but its the shaky foundation thats making them crumble. Just look at that last comic. How long did it take to produce it? You can tell a lot of work went into it, but unfortunately it fall flat regardless.

    It's got color, shading, photo backgrounds, word bubbles with colored lines, and characters with pictures on their shirts. None of that makes a good comic. You're getting caught up with putting extraneous things in your comics, and when you strip these things down to the bare essentials of a simple, good comic, then you'll be onto something.

    Also that line tutorial is the shiz and will open your eyes to new ways of doing art, so read it.

    earthwormadam on
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