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Ask her out, or no?
ShinyRedKnight
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
In one of my classes, I met a girl that I find very interesting and I'm rather attracted to her.
The problem is, I'm not sure if she's trying build a friendship, or if she's interested in a date. I'd really like to ask her out, but I'm not sure what she has in mind.
Over the last two months we've been getting to know each other more and more. Sadly, since we both commute, we haven't gotten a proper chance to hang out. However, I've noticed we've been a bit more open with each other than with other students in class (ie, talking extensively about past/future plans).
I thought okay, she seems to just be very friendly. But two things she brought up make me wonder if I should ask her out. A couple weeks ago I told her I studied Arabic, but had to give it up due to time even though I wanted to learn it. She then said she would help me learn Arabic, as she speaks it.
Then, earlier today, we talked about wine and I told her about how I never found a wine liked. Instantly she said she should bring me over to her house to introduce me to good wine.
So, is she being friendly, or should I go ahead and ask her out?
By the way, I'm a moron when it comes to reading these signs. I seem confident in social aspects when talking to people, but I have no idea how to read people in terms of things like this.
The problem is, I'm not sure if she's trying build a friendship, or if she's interested in a date. I'd really like to ask her out, but I'm not sure what she has in mind.
Over the last two months we've been getting to know each other more and more. Sadly, since we both commute, we haven't gotten a proper chance to hang out. However, I've noticed we've been a bit more open with each other than with other students in class (ie, talking extensively about past/future plans).
I thought okay, she seems to just be very friendly. But two things she brought up make me wonder if I should ask her out. A couple weeks ago I told her I studied Arabic, but had to give it up due to time even though I wanted to learn it. She then said she would help me learn Arabic, as she speaks it.
Then, earlier today, we talked about wine and I told her about how I never found a wine liked. Instantly she said she should bring me over to her house to introduce me to good wine.
So, is she being friendly, or should I go ahead and ask her out?
By the way, I'm a moron when it comes to reading these signs. I seem confident in social aspects when talking to people, but I have no idea how to read people in terms of things like this.
PSN: ShinyRedKnight Xbox Live: ShinyRedKnight
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This describes my 2nd night out tonight with a 'friend' (also most every time I and another girl are into each other) so... do that. I suggest margaritas at a Mexican restaurant.
Go for it. Life's too short.
I don't usually find women asking a person to have a drink with them unless they're somewhat interested.
It's more likely that you'll regret NOT asking, than regret asking.
A girl has asked you
1) to come over to her place
2) for the purpose of drinking wine
3) and though you haven't spent much time together outside of school
4) you get along well and have some mutual interests
Go. Drink wine. Have fun.
The only time where it isn't is when you're some creepy stalker dude.
Life isn't long enough for regrets!
However, I read the OP, and my initial reaction was still "ask her out!" Sounds like you have a good thing going. I would highly recommend you do it sooner rather than later.
I think she may have just asked you out.
FYI, this comes off as a little creepy. "Get her drunk on tequila."
Also, men and women can just be friends. I go out for drinks with female friends and/or ask new female acquaintances out to drinks all the time without it being "romantic" or what not.
Anyway...
Ask her out, but don't call it a date. As in...
"Hey, when can I take you up on that wine offer?"
and then take it from there. You'll know at a certain point.
not...
"Would you like to go on a date with me?"
The only times I would ever say "no" to this question would be if you know she already has a boyfriend or has taken a restraining order out against you
Playing Hamlet about the whole thing is what turns normal guys into quivering neckbeards of creepiness and indecision. The worst answer you can get is no... and that's the same answer you have now.
There are plenty of good places around campus, so I'll see what we feel like if she's up for it.
PSN: ShinyRedKnight Xbox Live: ShinyRedKnight
Ha, Hamlet! Poor bastard. That's a good way to phrase it; don't be Hamlet!
Also, just to provide anecdotal encouragement, I thought a girl I had been just talking with for about a month and I were headed toward friendship, but I bit the bullet and asked her to hang out. I didn't even use the word "date", but that's what it turned out to be (and an exceedingly successful one at that!)
So essentially, Ask her out. Always, always, always, ask her out (unless she has a boyfriend or something, in which case stop wanting to ask her out). I have very little experience in this but even I know the rule. Ask her out.
On Friday I went to a small show for a local band. A really attractive girl was standing in front of me and she kept peeking back at me, I never summed up the balls to ask her anything to strike up conversation EVEN when my friend egged me on to do it.
Guess which one of two situations I regret.
Maybe a little bit nicer of a message, but still same gist.
you don't have to go straight to "come rund to my house". Just see if she's interested in spending time with you outside class.
She is asking you to come over to her place to drink wine.
At the very, very least, this connotes some level of friendship. The way this is going, you don't even need to worry about "asking her out" right now. It could just progress to something more on its own.
But if you do want to, ask her out. You really have nothing to lose.
I forgot who said it above but it really is the best advice: the biggest reason to ask someone out isn't that "no" is the worst thing that could happen, but that "no" is no worse than where you stand already.
I don't think this is at all creepy. They have already discussed drinking, and margaritas are an easy drink for everyone to drink. They are fun. The music, the atmosphere of a Mexican restaurant can be a good ice breaker.
In summary, not creepy, good idea. I second the margaritas.
She's probably wondering why you haven't picked up on this major hint that she's into you.
Don't overthink it- just tell her you want to take her up on her offer to teach you about wines, if she's still up for it.
Rigorous Scholarship
Man and women can be platonic friends. If you don't realize that, you're going to end up in some embarrassing situations. Don't assume.
This was my general idea... but I suppose I owe you guys an explanation of how things turned out...
Well first and foremost I talked to my most trusted friend and asked her would these be signs she would see as ways a girl shows interest. By the end I felt like an idiot as she pointed out how obvious they were in her opinion.
But any who.... take this for what you will.
She comes into class late, sits next to me which she's been doing more often. Class ends, I get some stuff to pack away, about to approach her and BAM.
Guy that normally sits behind me gets to her with the exact idea I had apparently.
I obviously talked to her after, but I didn't mention anything of it and thought it would be best not to make things weird and just be friendly as usual.
But the expression she gave me after was so blatantly obvious it was painful; it was like she said "You waited too long"
I'm kicking myself that I didn't just hang out with her more the moment I realized we were having fun together. But at least this didn't end in an awkward way that would make our friendship weird.
PSN: ShinyRedKnight Xbox Live: ShinyRedKnight
(and by asking her to hang out I mean taking her up on HER offer to hang out which you should always god damn accept INSTANTLY after you mock 5 seconds of thinking time anytime a pretty girl asks)
Just because he asked her out does not mean that he owns her now and she's off limits. Feel free to still make plans with her. I think you may have misread her face. Why would she assume that your chance is over now?
FYI, Facebook friending people out of the blue is a little weird unless you're really familiar with them or their group of friends. Unless he discusses it with her, it means "Hey, I got all private detective, figured out your last name, and found you on Facebook." It's really forced.
Yeah your right, at the very least we can spend time together and what happens, happens.
But, yeah, I hate friending people on facebook unless its brought up.
PSN: ShinyRedKnight Xbox Live: ShinyRedKnight
Look, unless the question the guy behind her asked was "will you marry me?" there is absolutely no reason why you shouldn't ask her out. And not to do some weird friend thing, but legitimately ask her out.
i hate this fucking bullshit so much. unless you're spiking her drink, she's a big girl and should be perfectly capable of assing her alcohol intake.
So, uh...did she say "yes" to him? It sounds like it by what you describe, but you weren't exactly clear on the point.
What kind of childish behavior is this? How old are you two? As I see it the fault here lies more with her than with you. If she couldn't "man up" and ask YOU out directly, in a way you understand, and then dates another dude she is just being a bitch. (Assuming that yes, she went out with him)
I know this is no real consolation but you have every right to be pissed at her, I'd say.
And Disney World is nowhere in sight.
Se... seriously? Is this serious? It's HER fault he didn't ask her out?
Yes its her fault.
But the TS has to let bygones be bygones and ask her out.