You step out into the warm tropical night. The moon has started its slow conquest of the sky, and a slice of sun still glows to the west. All around you hear the sounds of revelry. Three Island has thrown off its work clothes and started its rum-soaked weekly ritual. The night is young, and you can hear the faint sound of motors in the distance, coming closer. You're free to enjoy the rest of the night as you see fit, although there's a feeling this job isn't over yet.
"Okay then, where we supposed to deliver this thing?" Commander patted his pocket before removing the small box and looking at it. Apparently a Pokemon was inside, probably inside a Pokeball inside the box. For a brief instant, he allowed himself a moment to wonder what kind of bizarre creature might be inside. One moment, no more. He had orders, and he was not about to disobey them.
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Tommy2Handswhat is this where am iRegistered Userregular
"Well after that adventure in rustic bar bullshittery, I'm feeling in the mood for a visit to a local club", Terrence says to no one in particular, taking in a deep breath of the night air, "Let's drop of the box at the boat and go find something fun, shall we? Muscle, you seem in need of some relaxation, I promise if you don't make any more of those silly threats I'll play wingman for you."
"I reserve the right to refer to you as Maverick as much as I want though, okay Maverick?"
"So we just got the box whatsit and we're already giving it away? That's no fun at all."
She scratches at her face a moment, "pretty sure dude-guy said something about leaving the island quick and stuff anyway. What's the folder thingie say about it, Huh?"
Tried drawing Dakota and Maneki, it turned out predictably bad.
That rumbling has been getting louder. So loud, in fact, that it sounds like it's coming from right in front of you. Because, you know, it is. Three men climb off the motorcycles, all done up in chains an leather. They give you a nasty glare, and you take in one, simple fact: they all look like morons. They've got orange skin, beady eyes, and a whistle between their ears. Their hair, oh sweet Palkia, their hair, flies in the face of everything you've ever believed in, saving the meatiest pass for the laws of physics. They swagger up to you, and the one in the middle speaks.
"Hey, what're you joikbags doin' around heeah?"
The smallest one gives a little "Yeah! What're ya doin'?"
Commander really didn't like the cut of these fellows' jibs. His urge to go the military route of killing them, however, had been suppressed after years of careful practice and occasional slips.
"Listen up you stupid idiot, we're on the job right now. You wanna flirt with your two boyfriends later, go ahead, but we have an appointment."
Terrence looks on at the action with a curious look on his face. Just as Charles turns to leave, Terrence begins to chuckle
"Nah, calm down Mav, this seems like it'll be just the fun we're looking for!", he says, excitedly adopting a stance and a terrifying grin. Dahmer slowly rises from his perched spot on the Coordinator's shoulder, turning to face the trio with a twitching smile.
"So, let's get down to it, boys! Throw down your balls, I'm not the type to attack an unarmed...oh wait"
"I totally am. Dahmer, Pounce-De-León, Number 8!", Terrence shouts, throwing out an arm and pointing at the tan-crusted face of Moe. Scarlet eyes becoming pinpoints, Dah is gone in a flash, throwing himself off of his Coordinator's index finger, and unto the glassy eyes of the poor soul.
[Dahmer used SCRATCH on GUIDO LEADER!]
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"I'm afraid I can't let you do that." Nobody saw Commander's hands move, yet there was the familiar pop-fwssh of a Pokeball opening and suddenly a small, tough-headed bipedal creature appeared at Commander's side.
"Corporal here agrees with me, don't you?"
"Gon!"
"Now then, kindly step away before the two of us have to teach you a lesson."
Dakota stays quiet for the next couple interactions, trying to figure her way through the double negatives and complex grammatical constructs that were thrust upon her by the weird looking dude.
That ends as soon as Terrence sics his Pokemon on one of them though. Teach always said she had really finely tuned instincts, though he often lamented how she tended to rely on them regardless of the situation. She didn't know much about instincts, but when someone threw the proverbial gauntlet it was time to sit back and just let things happen. Bad things, to other people for preference.
Dakota dances from foot to foot for a fraction of a second before darting forward alongside Dahmer. He's a cute pokemon, nice claws and eyes, his trainer isn't bad either. Idle thoughts while she closes towards the Sneasel's prey, people don't usually expect someone of her build to move into grappling range and she uses that to her advantage.
She leaps into close quarters, trying to grab the guido leader and drive a knee into his sternum, good for knocking the breath out of them, make them defenseless for what comes next. Like a hungover jack-in-the-box, Maneki rises out of her hood like a college student out of bed at 2pm. Using her shoulder as a perch, he takes advantage of his mobile platform's close proximity to his target to make a swipe with his claws.
[DAKOTA attacked GUIDO LEADER]
[MANEKI used SCRATCH on GUIDO LEADER]
[8] Dahmer rushes forward like a shade outta hell, eliciting a harmonized 'Oh' from the Biker-assholes. His Claw scythes right across Moe's face, his blood sparkling in the dying daylight. DAHMER used SCRATCH! GUIDO LEADER takes 12 damage!
"Ow, my fuckkin' face! Let's kill these queers!"
Synchronized whooshes sound, releasing a purple blob, a noxious sphere, and a massive wide mouthed bat.
[14],[8] As soon as the Guidos let their 'mons loose, Dakota socks Moe right in the gut. DAKOTA uses PUNCH! GUIDO LEADER takes 13 damage!
He recovers just in time to see a pissed off fucking cat jump onto his face. MANEKI uses SCRATCH! GUIDO LEADER takes 15 damage! GUIDO LEADER'S hair is disheveled!
"Oh shit, my hair! Battzz, bite this fuckin' thing!!"
[20, crit!] 'Battzz' slams into Maneki (and also Moe) like a leathery freight-train, tearing the pussy off of his face and throwing the grizzled cunt to the gound. BATTZZ uses BITE! MANEKI takes 32 damage! GUIDO LEADER is SHITTING HIMSELF! Takes 3 damage!
[8] After the cat is knocked from his nose, Totally-Not-Hard-Gay-Plus-The-Situation-With-Dumb(er)-Hair gets a thighfull of dragon-teeth. CORPRAL used BITE! GUIDO LEADER takes 28 damage! GUIDO LEADER lets out a GIRLISH SCREAM!
[6] When he's done emasculating himself, Moe looks tough just long enough to catch Commander's punch in the jaw. COMMANDER used PUNCH A MOTHERFUCKER! GUIDO LEADER takes 11 damage! GUIDO LEADER is KO'd!
Larry and Curly sit by their bikes in awe. They've never seen the boss get ganged up on before! At least not that they'll ever talk about ever because they're totally not gay! Their Pokemon take the time to revel in their supreme, almost crystalline, stupidity.
Dakota adjusts her grip on the unconscious leader, keeping him upright from behind, grabbing his arm and waving it around at the other two bikers.
"Hey guys, change of plans!" she says in a gruff voice out of the corner of her mouth. "We should totally leave these people alone because they'll kick our asses and stuff!"
With a snort she drops the dude on the ground and gives him a vicious kick in the ribs as an afterthought. Something to remember her by or something, who cares, whatever.
"What're you lookin' at, Bitey? Wanna piece of this?" she says at the mouthy-looking bat thing while Maneki rubs up against her leg. Partially as a show of affection, mostly just to get some of the blood off his perforated side before it starts to stain. He hates that.
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"Haha, cute", Terrence says broodingly, stooping down to pick up the unconscious man's ball. Thinking for a moment, he instead tosses it to the ground, before sending one piston of a leg downward onto the back of it, horribly smashing it in twane.
"Too bad Zubats aren't may thing."
He does, however, turn a curious eye to the ball of slime.
Terrence silently waves a hand at the remaining bikers. Dahmer nods in understanding from his position atop the Homosexual's face, the red portion of his irises suddenly overtaking the white. Looking to the posion type, blood red glow beginning to seep from his eyes, the Sneasel raises blood-specked paw, giving the purple sludge a Razor Finger Salute.
[19] Dahmer's gesture throws the blob of purple goo into a fury. He's a comin' fer you now! DAHMER used TAUNT! GUIDO GRIMER fell for the taunt!
[5] The fallen douche's Golbat is really damn pissed off. Not only does this jumpoff whobag smash his bros ball, but he calls him a Zubat? Time to teach this gay faggot as lesson. It flies straight for Terrence's throat, it can't pick out a good target through its Alpha-Male rage. BATTZZ used BITE! BATTZZ's attack missed!
[3] Corporal starts to get really fuckin' sick of all this douchey bullshit. He goes nuts, straight into the putrid blob, passing out the other side with almost no resistance. CORPORAL used RAGE! CORPORAL's attack missed!
[16] Unlike his subordinate, Commander has no trouble hitting his target. Larry, however, seems to have a nose made out of 24 karat Hardtainium, and the Military Man's blow doesn't do a whole lot. COMMANDER used PUNCH EVERYTHING! LARRY takes 5 damage!
[7] Larry's punched out of his awe struck stupor, and orders his orb to take out "this fuckin' gayqueer buttchoad." The Sphere of Pestilence belches out a noxious cloud, singing Commanders nosehairs. DOUCEKOFFING used SMOG! COMMANDER takes 7 damage!
[16] The Grimer finally reaches Dahmer, insults his mother, and knocks the weasel in the nose. GUIDO GRIMER uses POUND! DAHMER takes 12 damage!
Good news is, it looks like the two remaining Choads have forgotten that they can attack you guys directly.
"Stop layin' about, Corporal! There's still idiots to beat down!" Commander shouted his order not unlike the drill sergeant who made him the man he was that day. "Bite down on that big ball 'a gas and burst his bubble!" Commander, meanwhile, maintained his brutal assault on Larry.
[COMMANDER used FISTS OF FURY on LARRY!]
[CORPORAL used BITE on KOFFING!]
"Why the hell does stuff keep ignoring me? What's that thing's problem?" Dakota huffs. Looking down at her Meowth she notices how badly her current nemesis' bite hurt him.
"You look pretty fucked up, old man. Let's put some pep in that step," she says, rummaging through her bag. Maneki groans, knowing what's coming while Dakota pulls out a tall can that promises to "zapdos bodies into action!!" Cracking it open, she takes a sip, makes a face, then squats down to pour some out for Maneki to drink, which he does begrudgingly. Gagging slightly at the taste of the truly vile energy drink, it at least takes his mind off of the deep teeth punctures in him.
[Dakota used The Truly Vile Energy Drink on Maneki]
[Maneki gains 50 hp.]
[It tastes like total ass.]
i feel like the best in-character post i can make is just Mike passing out drunk on the ground because honestly it feels like my team has got shit HANDLED
"Stare him down, Dahmer", Terrence says, his voice like silk.
"I'll take care of this one"
Coughing into a suddenly available handkerchief a bit, Terrence approaches the spot where the Commander was hit with smog, some of the noxious gas still lingering.
"Hey there, guy", Terrence enunciates, staring the Koffing in the eyes with respect, "Do you really want to be on these cocklords' side? I mean, really? You should join up with us, could really teach this dickbag here a lesson for whatever he's done to you. Because I am positive he has fucked with you in some way."
"Not literally of course. At least, I don't assume so."
No, and you should add your dude to the Characters page on the wiki
[3, crit. fail],[20 crit] The Koffing stares at Terrence for a moment, before spewing noxious, purple fumes. Terrence's handkerchief does nothing, and both Commander and Corpral get a noseful of the gas.
DOUCHEFING uses POISON GAS! TERRENCE is POISONED! COMMANDER is POISONED! CORPORAL is POISONED!
[14] Battzz has the kind of flimsy ego and desperate neediness that a poof like Terrence could only dream of, and the Coordinator's cold shoulder is pissing him off. He tries the whole Bite thing again, and finds his teeth sinking into Trainer meat, right in the gut.
BATTZZ used BITE! TERRENCE took 21 damage!
[18] The Bagon fights through his illness, landing a horrific blow on the Koffing. Corporal swings his head around, and sends the sphere flying, hard, into the pavement with a sickening crack.
CORPORAL used BITE! DOUCHEFING took 33 damage! DOUCHEFING is KO'd!
[9],[2] Commander sends his fist into Larry's face, the blow cracking his Hardtanium nose. Larry tries to push the Soldier off of him, but Commanders superior training kept him in prime punchin' position.
COMMANDER used FISTPUNCH NOSEKILL! LARRY took 11 damage! LARRY used GET THE HELL OFF! LARRY missed!
[3] Curly orders his blob to sock Dahmer again, but the purple goo's battle mist proved too thick to see through, and his 'fist' sailed mast Dam's head.
Maneki's head is buzzing pretty hard in the aftermath of that horrible beverage, but he's steady at least. Dakota stuffs her hands in her hoodie pockets and strolls over to Terrence.
"You look like shit too!" she offers to him, jumping at the Golbat swiping with a fist. "Your little black thing's not very good at protecting you, huh? Hey Maneki," she shouts to her Meowth. "Keep an eye on bleedy here, make sure he doesn't get stuffed any harder then he already has."
[Dakota uses FIST on BATZZ]
[MANKEI uses SCRATCH on BATZZ unless he needs to INTERCEPT some attacks on TERRENCE]
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Tommy2Handswhat is this where am iRegistered Userregular
"[ize="1"]oh son of a bitch,[/size] Dahmer, I realize you're having fun, but taking care of this thing would be nice, you know?"
Looking over his shoulder, Dahmer see's the bat pokemon, and nods
"Come on now, One Over One Under stratagem, you remember that one"
With another nod and a toothy smile, Damher rears back on his hind legs, ignoring the pathetic Grimer, and making a standing leap from the ground, to the space over the Golbat, before planting his claws on Terrence's chest. In a lightning fast movement, Dah grabs the creature by the wings, and throws him out of his Coordinator's stomach. Extending his claws, Dahmer pounces from off of Terrence's chest, hitting the Golbat in mid air, razor blades slashing downward.
In a matching movement, Terrence lifts up his front leg, before quickly lashing out at the airborne Batzz.
[Terrence used KICK on the BATZZ]
[Dahmer used SCRATCH on the BATZZ!]
"Poison me, will yah?" Commander hocked up a mouthful of phlegm and saliva, spitting the goo (which had turned a hideous black from the poison) onto Larry. "Yeah, well I got a present for ya!" Commander refused to let up his assault on the man, the bloodlust taking hold.
Corporal, like his commanding officer, continued his brutal thrashing, this time leaping on the golbat and attempting to bite down on a wing and drag it to the ground, where it can be more easily subdued.
[COMMANDER uses HOCK A LUGIA on LARRY! COMMANDER uses KNEE TO THE GROIN on LARRY!]
[CORPORAL uses BITE on BATZZ!]
[10] Dahmer soars onto the bat, tearing the big-mouthed bastard a new face-hole. Battzz is really getting tired of you jumpoffs.
DAHMER used AN OVERLY-COMPLEX RENDITION OF SCRATCH! BATTZZ takes 15 damage!
[16] Battzz is so over you jerks, especially the queer with the weasel. The Douche-Bat gets a good chomp on the aforementioned weasel's shoulder before he could twist away, and Doucheula grins as Dahm's frigid blood trickles down his maw. Battzz swears that he'll drain you all, before getting a face full of cat.
BATTZZ uses BITE FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME! DAHMER takes 24 damage!
[18] Maneki's claws dig greedily and deep, adding to Mr. Twihard's wing-hole collection. The feline assault drags Battzz to the ground, and Maneki casually strolls away, covered in his foes blood.
MANEKI used SCRATCH! BATTZZ takes 18 damage!
[17] Corporal descends on the remains of Bat Douche's face and tears it asunder with a mighty bite. Battzz has insulted his final homosexual (at least for today).
CORPORAL used BITE! BATTZZ took 25 damage! BATTZZ is KO'd!
[2] Commander throws another fist at Larry's scummy face, but the scummy face moves at the last second and Commander gets a fist full of concrete.
[9] Larry takes advantage of the momentary lapse in fist and slams his forehead into Commander's mouth. However, Larry, in an all too often lapse in tactics, forgot about Commander's TEETH OF STEEL.
"Ow, what the hell, man?!"
LARRY used HEADFACE! COMMANDER takes 2 damage! LARRY takes 1 damage!
[9] Dakota, seeing that batman was out, decides to loose her capricious fury on Curly, who takes the blow using his secret battle technique: GUTKIND : HORRIBLE, EMASCULATING MISERY, lv. 99. Curly drops to the ground and starts whimpering.
DAKOTA uses PUNCHGUTHARD! Curly takes 11 damage! CURLY is reliving SOME TRAUMATIC SCHOOLYARD MEMORIES!
[20, crit] Terrence stares at Battzz's crumpled form for a moment before unleashing the most incredible, ire-filled cheap-punt these islands have ever seen. Multiple onlookers cheer. Songs will be sung of the event for generations, and your name goes down in history as the greatest petty fucker in the business. (TERRENCE has unlocked a new ASSHOLE TECH: KICK 'EM WHILE THEIR DOWN, lv. 3!)
TERRENCE used KICK THE UNFORTUNATE! BATTZZ'S CRUMPLED form takes 10 damage!
[17] Curly gathers his balls up long enough to blubber out a command.
"D-D.J. Grimes, P-pound that m-mean l-lady!"
Grimes smoops over to Dakota and slaps her on the shin with a roll of goop. Ew.
D.J. GRIMES used POUND! DAKOTA takes 8 damage!
You hear the rumble of engines in the distance. Many, many engines.
YOU are hurt by poison! COMMANDER takes 7 damage! CORPORAL takes 3 damage! TERRENCE takes 6 damage!
"You're gonna die, clown!" Commander shouted at the man who tried in vain to headbutt him. He went in for a leg sweep to bring the idiot to the ground and renewed his assault.
Corporal, no longer receiving orders from his commanding officer, turned to the man curled up on the ground and attempted to gnaw on his face a bit.
[COMMANDER used VAGUE MOVIE REFERENCE on LARRY!]
[CORPORAL used MMM... DELICIOUS FACE! on CURLY!]
Dakota sniffs at the air and her eyes narrow slightly at the rumble of engines approaching. "Ugh, better get out of here."
She gives an extremely idle and half-hearted kick at the milquetoast puddle that's trying its best to get her attention and failing miserably. "See the rest of you at the boat I guess!" she says to the others, offering what she probably thinks is some sort of salute before turning tail and taking off down the street away from the steadily growing noise of engines, stepping lightly on Curly along the way more out of inattentiveness then any real malice.
[11] Dakota's artless steps send Curly deeper into whatever trauma he's reliving. He's in another world now, lost in his pain.
DAKTOTA uses WHOOPS! It's SUPER EFFECTIVE! CURLY looses his final three COMPOSURE BEADS from his COOLNESS ROSARY! CURLY is ON A VERY PAINFUL SPIRIT JOURNEY!
[17] Commander slams his knuckles into Larry one final time, and the biker's eyes glaze over. He looks like he's about to get out from under Charles, but then the reference finally burrows it's way into the language centers of his tiny brain. The words are so vile, so monumentally repugnant to the man, that his feeble mind shuts down in a vain effort to protect itself.
COMMANDER used 80's ACTION MOVIE THREAT! It's SUPER EFFECTIVE! LARRY takes 30 damage! LARRY is KO'd!
[13] Corporal nibbles on Curly a little, before realizing he just doesn't have the heart to bite the miserable creature. He tears a chunk out of D.J Grimez instead, illiciting a torrent of dark purple ichor from the wound.
CORPORAL used BITE! D.J. GRIMEZ takes 31 damage! D.J. GRIMEZ is KO'd!
Dakota, in her need to do everything as recklessly as humanly possible, does not run away at all. She accidentally heads straight for the noise, and successfully plows into the lead bike. Thankfully, he was stopped by then, but it's still embarrassing.
Commander started to come out of his bloodlust. When he heard the sound of motorcycles, he grew wary. Motorcycle gangs could lead to police officers, and that was the kind of attention he didn't need.
The original trio still incapacitated, Commander turned around and bolted back towards headquarters, taking sneaky routes so as to confound detection. Corporal followed behind his commanding officer.
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Steam
"Okay then, where we supposed to deliver this thing?" Commander patted his pocket before removing the small box and looking at it. Apparently a Pokemon was inside, probably inside a Pokeball inside the box. For a brief instant, he allowed himself a moment to wonder what kind of bizarre creature might be inside. One moment, no more. He had orders, and he was not about to disobey them.
"Well after that adventure in rustic bar bullshittery, I'm feeling in the mood for a visit to a local club", Terrence says to no one in particular, taking in a deep breath of the night air, "Let's drop of the box at the boat and go find something fun, shall we? Muscle, you seem in need of some relaxation, I promise if you don't make any more of those silly threats I'll play wingman for you."
"I reserve the right to refer to you as Maverick as much as I want though, okay Maverick?"
"So we just got the box whatsit and we're already giving it away? That's no fun at all."
She scratches at her face a moment, "pretty sure dude-guy said something about leaving the island quick and stuff anyway. What's the folder thingie say about it, Huh?"
Tried drawing Dakota and Maneki, it turned out predictably bad.
"Hey, what're you joikbags doin' around heeah?"
The smallest one gives a little "Yeah! What're ya doin'?"
Steam
"Like, right now? Just standing here! Why?"
Shit, I mean, you ain't never smaht! Yeah! Fuck you!"
Moe's two cheerleaders shout out two perfectly timed 'daaaaaaayyyuuum!'s.
Steam
Commander really didn't like the cut of these fellows' jibs. His urge to go the military route of killing them, however, had been suppressed after years of careful practice and occasional slips.
"Listen up you stupid idiot, we're on the job right now. You wanna flirt with your two boyfriends later, go ahead, but we have an appointment."
And speakin' a' that job, we're gonna need that package."
It looks like he's thinking real hard for a moment, and then a look of agreement passes over his face.
"So hand it over!"
Steam
Terrence looks on at the action with a curious look on his face. Just as Charles turns to leave, Terrence begins to chuckle
"Nah, calm down Mav, this seems like it'll be just the fun we're looking for!", he says, excitedly adopting a stance and a terrifying grin. Dahmer slowly rises from his perched spot on the Coordinator's shoulder, turning to face the trio with a twitching smile.
"So, let's get down to it, boys! Throw down your balls, I'm not the type to attack an unarmed...oh wait"
"I totally am. Dahmer, Pounce-De-León, Number 8!", Terrence shouts, throwing out an arm and pointing at the tan-crusted face of Moe. Scarlet eyes becoming pinpoints, Dah is gone in a flash, throwing himself off of his Coordinator's index finger, and unto the glassy eyes of the poor soul.
[Dahmer used SCRATCH on GUIDO LEADER!]
pretend that happened before he said that
it would have been much more reckless and awesome
"I'm afraid I can't let you do that." Nobody saw Commander's hands move, yet there was the familiar pop-fwssh of a Pokeball opening and suddenly a small, tough-headed bipedal creature appeared at Commander's side.
"Corporal here agrees with me, don't you?"
"Gon!"
"Now then, kindly step away before the two of us have to teach you a lesson."
Dakota stays quiet for the next couple interactions, trying to figure her way through the double negatives and complex grammatical constructs that were thrust upon her by the weird looking dude.
That ends as soon as Terrence sics his Pokemon on one of them though. Teach always said she had really finely tuned instincts, though he often lamented how she tended to rely on them regardless of the situation. She didn't know much about instincts, but when someone threw the proverbial gauntlet it was time to sit back and just let things happen. Bad things, to other people for preference.
Dakota dances from foot to foot for a fraction of a second before darting forward alongside Dahmer. He's a cute pokemon, nice claws and eyes, his trainer isn't bad either. Idle thoughts while she closes towards the Sneasel's prey, people don't usually expect someone of her build to move into grappling range and she uses that to her advantage.
She leaps into close quarters, trying to grab the guido leader and drive a knee into his sternum, good for knocking the breath out of them, make them defenseless for what comes next. Like a hungover jack-in-the-box, Maneki rises out of her hood like a college student out of bed at 2pm. Using her shoulder as a perch, he takes advantage of his mobile platform's close proximity to his target to make a swipe with his claws.
[DAKOTA attacked GUIDO LEADER]
[MANEKI used SCRATCH on GUIDO LEADER]
"Welp, guess we're started the fire now!"
[COMMANDER used BRASS KNUCKLES on Guido Leader!]
[CORPORAL used BITE on GUIDO LEADER!]
"Ow, my fuckkin' face! Let's kill these queers!"
Synchronized whooshes sound, releasing a purple blob, a noxious sphere, and a massive wide mouthed bat.
[14],[8] As soon as the Guidos let their 'mons loose, Dakota socks Moe right in the gut. DAKOTA uses PUNCH! GUIDO LEADER takes 13 damage!
He recovers just in time to see a pissed off fucking cat jump onto his face. MANEKI uses SCRATCH! GUIDO LEADER takes 15 damage! GUIDO LEADER'S hair is disheveled!
"Oh shit, my hair! Battzz, bite this fuckin' thing!!"
[20, crit!] 'Battzz' slams into Maneki (and also Moe) like a leathery freight-train, tearing the pussy off of his face and throwing the grizzled cunt to the gound. BATTZZ uses BITE! MANEKI takes 32 damage! GUIDO LEADER is SHITTING HIMSELF! Takes 3 damage!
[8] After the cat is knocked from his nose, Totally-Not-Hard-Gay-Plus-The-Situation-With-Dumb(er)-Hair gets a thighfull of dragon-teeth. CORPRAL used BITE! GUIDO LEADER takes 28 damage! GUIDO LEADER lets out a GIRLISH SCREAM!
[6] When he's done emasculating himself, Moe looks tough just long enough to catch Commander's punch in the jaw. COMMANDER used PUNCH A MOTHERFUCKER! GUIDO LEADER takes 11 damage! GUIDO LEADER is KO'd!
Larry and Curly sit by their bikes in awe. They've never seen the boss get ganged up on before! At least not that they'll ever talk about ever because they're totally not gay! Their Pokemon take the time to revel in their supreme, almost crystalline, stupidity.
Steam
Dakota adjusts her grip on the unconscious leader, keeping him upright from behind, grabbing his arm and waving it around at the other two bikers.
"Hey guys, change of plans!" she says in a gruff voice out of the corner of her mouth. "We should totally leave these people alone because they'll kick our asses and stuff!"
With a snort she drops the dude on the ground and gives him a vicious kick in the ribs as an afterthought. Something to remember her by or something, who cares, whatever.
"What're you lookin' at, Bitey? Wanna piece of this?" she says at the mouthy-looking bat thing while Maneki rubs up against her leg. Partially as a show of affection, mostly just to get some of the blood off his perforated side before it starts to stain. He hates that.
"Haha, cute", Terrence says broodingly, stooping down to pick up the unconscious man's ball. Thinking for a moment, he instead tosses it to the ground, before sending one piston of a leg downward onto the back of it, horribly smashing it in twane.
"Too bad Zubats aren't may thing."
He does, however, turn a curious eye to the ball of slime.
Terrence silently waves a hand at the remaining bikers. Dahmer nods in understanding from his position atop the Homosexual's face, the red portion of his irises suddenly overtaking the white. Looking to the posion type, blood red glow beginning to seep from his eyes, the Sneasel raises blood-specked paw, giving the purple sludge a Razor Finger Salute.
[Dahmer used TAUNT!]
The thrill of knocking a man unconscious brought back the feeling of battle, and Commander's internal fire was lit.
"Oooh, yeah! Just gettin' warmed up! Corporal, show these guys how you get mad!"
[COMMANDER used BRASS KNUCKLES on ONE OF THE OTHER GUYS!]
[CORPORAL used RAGE on ENEMY PURPLE BLOB!]
[5] The fallen douche's Golbat is really damn pissed off. Not only does this jumpoff whobag smash his bros ball, but he calls him a Zubat? Time to teach this gay faggot as lesson. It flies straight for Terrence's throat, it can't pick out a good target through its Alpha-Male rage. BATTZZ used BITE! BATTZZ's attack missed!
[3] Corporal starts to get really fuckin' sick of all this douchey bullshit. He goes nuts, straight into the putrid blob, passing out the other side with almost no resistance. CORPORAL used RAGE! CORPORAL's attack missed!
[16] Unlike his subordinate, Commander has no trouble hitting his target. Larry, however, seems to have a nose made out of 24 karat Hardtainium, and the Military Man's blow doesn't do a whole lot. COMMANDER used PUNCH EVERYTHING! LARRY takes 5 damage!
[7] Larry's punched out of his awe struck stupor, and orders his orb to take out "this fuckin' gayqueer buttchoad." The Sphere of Pestilence belches out a noxious cloud, singing Commanders nosehairs. DOUCEKOFFING used SMOG! COMMANDER takes 7 damage!
[16] The Grimer finally reaches Dahmer, insults his mother, and knocks the weasel in the nose. GUIDO GRIMER uses POUND! DAHMER takes 12 damage!
Good news is, it looks like the two remaining Choads have forgotten that they can attack you guys directly.
Steam
"Stop layin' about, Corporal! There's still idiots to beat down!" Commander shouted his order not unlike the drill sergeant who made him the man he was that day. "Bite down on that big ball 'a gas and burst his bubble!" Commander, meanwhile, maintained his brutal assault on Larry.
[COMMANDER used FISTS OF FURY on LARRY!]
[CORPORAL used BITE on KOFFING!]
"Why the hell does stuff keep ignoring me? What's that thing's problem?" Dakota huffs. Looking down at her Meowth she notices how badly her current nemesis' bite hurt him.
"You look pretty fucked up, old man. Let's put some pep in that step," she says, rummaging through her bag. Maneki groans, knowing what's coming while Dakota pulls out a tall can that promises to "zapdos bodies into action!!" Cracking it open, she takes a sip, makes a face, then squats down to pour some out for Maneki to drink, which he does begrudgingly. Gagging slightly at the taste of the truly vile energy drink, it at least takes his mind off of the deep teeth punctures in him.
[Dakota used The Truly Vile Energy Drink on Maneki]
[Maneki gains 50 hp.]
[It tastes like total ass.]
"Stare him down, Dahmer", Terrence says, his voice like silk.
"I'll take care of this one"
Coughing into a suddenly available handkerchief a bit, Terrence approaches the spot where the Commander was hit with smog, some of the noxious gas still lingering.
"Hey there, guy", Terrence enunciates, staring the Koffing in the eyes with respect, "Do you really want to be on these cocklords' side? I mean, really? You should join up with us, could really teach this dickbag here a lesson for whatever he's done to you. Because I am positive he has fucked with you in some way."
"Not literally of course. At least, I don't assume so."
"Actually wait"
Steam
[3, crit. fail],[20 crit] The Koffing stares at Terrence for a moment, before spewing noxious, purple fumes. Terrence's handkerchief does nothing, and both Commander and Corpral get a noseful of the gas.
DOUCHEFING uses POISON GAS! TERRENCE is POISONED! COMMANDER is POISONED! CORPORAL is POISONED!
[14] Battzz has the kind of flimsy ego and desperate neediness that a poof like Terrence could only dream of, and the Coordinator's cold shoulder is pissing him off. He tries the whole Bite thing again, and finds his teeth sinking into Trainer meat, right in the gut.
BATTZZ used BITE! TERRENCE took 21 damage!
[18] The Bagon fights through his illness, landing a horrific blow on the Koffing. Corporal swings his head around, and sends the sphere flying, hard, into the pavement with a sickening crack.
CORPORAL used BITE! DOUCHEFING took 33 damage! DOUCHEFING is KO'd!
[9],[2] Commander sends his fist into Larry's face, the blow cracking his Hardtanium nose. Larry tries to push the Soldier off of him, but Commanders superior training kept him in prime punchin' position.
COMMANDER used FISTPUNCH NOSEKILL! LARRY took 11 damage! LARRY used GET THE HELL OFF! LARRY missed!
[3] Curly orders his blob to sock Dahmer again, but the purple goo's battle mist proved too thick to see through, and his 'fist' sailed mast Dam's head.
GUIDO GRIMER used POUND! GUIDO GRIMER missed!
Steam
Maneki's head is buzzing pretty hard in the aftermath of that horrible beverage, but he's steady at least. Dakota stuffs her hands in her hoodie pockets and strolls over to Terrence.
"You look like shit too!" she offers to him, jumping at the Golbat swiping with a fist. "Your little black thing's not very good at protecting you, huh? Hey Maneki," she shouts to her Meowth. "Keep an eye on bleedy here, make sure he doesn't get stuffed any harder then he already has."
[Dakota uses FIST on BATZZ]
[MANKEI uses SCRATCH on BATZZ unless he needs to INTERCEPT some attacks on TERRENCE]
"Right then", Terrence says calmly
Until the Golbat chops on his skinny gut.
"[ize="1"]oh son of a bitch,[/size] Dahmer, I realize you're having fun, but taking care of this thing would be nice, you know?"
Looking over his shoulder, Dahmer see's the bat pokemon, and nods
"Come on now, One Over One Under stratagem, you remember that one"
With another nod and a toothy smile, Damher rears back on his hind legs, ignoring the pathetic Grimer, and making a standing leap from the ground, to the space over the Golbat, before planting his claws on Terrence's chest. In a lightning fast movement, Dah grabs the creature by the wings, and throws him out of his Coordinator's stomach. Extending his claws, Dahmer pounces from off of Terrence's chest, hitting the Golbat in mid air, razor blades slashing downward.
In a matching movement, Terrence lifts up his front leg, before quickly lashing out at the airborne Batzz.
[Terrence used KICK on the BATZZ]
[Dahmer used SCRATCH on the BATZZ!]
Steam
stupid ipod
"Poison me, will yah?" Commander hocked up a mouthful of phlegm and saliva, spitting the goo (which had turned a hideous black from the poison) onto Larry. "Yeah, well I got a present for ya!" Commander refused to let up his assault on the man, the bloodlust taking hold.
Corporal, like his commanding officer, continued his brutal thrashing, this time leaping on the golbat and attempting to bite down on a wing and drag it to the ground, where it can be more easily subdued.
[COMMANDER uses HOCK A LUGIA on LARRY! COMMANDER uses KNEE TO THE GROIN on LARRY!]
[CORPORAL uses BITE on BATZZ!]
DAHMER used AN OVERLY-COMPLEX RENDITION OF SCRATCH! BATTZZ takes 15 damage!
[16] Battzz is so over you jerks, especially the queer with the weasel. The Douche-Bat gets a good chomp on the aforementioned weasel's shoulder before he could twist away, and Doucheula grins as Dahm's frigid blood trickles down his maw. Battzz swears that he'll drain you all, before getting a face full of cat.
BATTZZ uses BITE FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME! DAHMER takes 24 damage!
[18] Maneki's claws dig greedily and deep, adding to Mr. Twihard's wing-hole collection. The feline assault drags Battzz to the ground, and Maneki casually strolls away, covered in his foes blood.
MANEKI used SCRATCH! BATTZZ takes 18 damage!
[17] Corporal descends on the remains of Bat Douche's face and tears it asunder with a mighty bite. Battzz has insulted his final homosexual (at least for today).
CORPORAL used BITE! BATTZZ took 25 damage! BATTZZ is KO'd!
[2] Commander throws another fist at Larry's scummy face, but the scummy face moves at the last second and Commander gets a fist full of concrete.
COMMANDER used PUNCH! PUNCH FOREVER! COMMANDER missed! COMMANDER takes 1 damage!
[9] Larry takes advantage of the momentary lapse in fist and slams his forehead into Commander's mouth. However, Larry, in an all too often lapse in tactics, forgot about Commander's TEETH OF STEEL.
"Ow, what the hell, man?!"
LARRY used HEADFACE! COMMANDER takes 2 damage! LARRY takes 1 damage!
[9] Dakota, seeing that batman was out, decides to loose her capricious fury on Curly, who takes the blow using his secret battle technique: GUTKIND : HORRIBLE, EMASCULATING MISERY, lv. 99. Curly drops to the ground and starts whimpering.
DAKOTA uses PUNCHGUTHARD! Curly takes 11 damage! CURLY is reliving SOME TRAUMATIC SCHOOLYARD MEMORIES!
[20, crit] Terrence stares at Battzz's crumpled form for a moment before unleashing the most incredible, ire-filled cheap-punt these islands have ever seen. Multiple onlookers cheer. Songs will be sung of the event for generations, and your name goes down in history as the greatest petty fucker in the business. (TERRENCE has unlocked a new ASSHOLE TECH: KICK 'EM WHILE THEIR DOWN, lv. 3!)
TERRENCE used KICK THE UNFORTUNATE! BATTZZ'S CRUMPLED form takes 10 damage!
[17] Curly gathers his balls up long enough to blubber out a command.
"D-D.J. Grimes, P-pound that m-mean l-lady!"
Grimes smoops over to Dakota and slaps her on the shin with a roll of goop. Ew.
D.J. GRIMES used POUND! DAKOTA takes 8 damage!
You hear the rumble of engines in the distance. Many, many engines.
YOU are hurt by poison! COMMANDER takes 7 damage! CORPORAL takes 3 damage! TERRENCE takes 6 damage!
Steam
"You're gonna die, clown!" Commander shouted at the man who tried in vain to headbutt him. He went in for a leg sweep to bring the idiot to the ground and renewed his assault.
Corporal, no longer receiving orders from his commanding officer, turned to the man curled up on the ground and attempted to gnaw on his face a bit.
[COMMANDER used VAGUE MOVIE REFERENCE on LARRY!]
[CORPORAL used MMM... DELICIOUS FACE! on CURLY!]
Dakota sniffs at the air and her eyes narrow slightly at the rumble of engines approaching. "Ugh, better get out of here."
She gives an extremely idle and half-hearted kick at the milquetoast puddle that's trying its best to get her attention and failing miserably. "See the rest of you at the boat I guess!" she says to the others, offering what she probably thinks is some sort of salute before turning tail and taking off down the street away from the steadily growing noise of engines, stepping lightly on Curly along the way more out of inattentiveness then any real malice.
[Abscond]
DAKTOTA uses WHOOPS! It's SUPER EFFECTIVE! CURLY looses his final three COMPOSURE BEADS from his COOLNESS ROSARY! CURLY is ON A VERY PAINFUL SPIRIT JOURNEY!
[17] Commander slams his knuckles into Larry one final time, and the biker's eyes glaze over. He looks like he's about to get out from under Charles, but then the reference finally burrows it's way into the language centers of his tiny brain. The words are so vile, so monumentally repugnant to the man, that his feeble mind shuts down in a vain effort to protect itself.
COMMANDER used 80's ACTION MOVIE THREAT! It's SUPER EFFECTIVE! LARRY takes 30 damage! LARRY is KO'd!
[13] Corporal nibbles on Curly a little, before realizing he just doesn't have the heart to bite the miserable creature. He tears a chunk out of D.J Grimez instead, illiciting a torrent of dark purple ichor from the wound.
CORPORAL used BITE! D.J. GRIMEZ takes 31 damage! D.J. GRIMEZ is KO'd!
Dakota, in her need to do everything as recklessly as humanly possible, does not run away at all. She accidentally heads straight for the noise, and successfully plows into the lead bike. Thankfully, he was stopped by then, but it's still embarrassing.
Steam
Steam
"Yo dude, what's up?" Dakota says, leaning over the bike's handlebars.
Commander started to come out of his bloodlust. When he heard the sound of motorcycles, he grew wary. Motorcycle gangs could lead to police officers, and that was the kind of attention he didn't need.
The original trio still incapacitated, Commander turned around and bolted back towards headquarters, taking sneaky routes so as to confound detection. Corporal followed behind his commanding officer.