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Profound truths of video games.

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Posts

  • Captain CarrotCaptain Carrot Alexandria, VARegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Oh! I remembered another one of my personal favorites.

    --If you hit the buttons hard enough and fast enough, all at once, the chances of something awesome happening increase exponentially.

    Corollary: Unless there is a hammer in the area, at which point, run away, there is nothing you can do.

    "Oh god he got the hammer, run the fuck away! Shit!"

    :^:

    The opposite of this is, There are far too many ways to commit suicide in mario based games. And every single one of them is highly amusing and enjoyable to me. There is a reason that at the age of 29, I have still yet to get past 1.2 in Super mario Brothers. Other than having never owned a nintendo, or video game anything really, until last year.
    I've really only played Super Smash Brothers, Melee and Brawl. Plus a little of Super Mario Galaxy.

    Captain Carrot on
  • emnmnmeemnmnme Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    What is a man? A miserable pile of secrets.

    ... then that means ...

    What can change the nature of a man? The truth.

    emnmnme on
  • Apothe0sisApothe0sis Have you ever questioned the nature of your reality? Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    OptimusZed wrote: »
    OptimusZed wrote: »
    Ghandi is such a warmongering douchebag.

    I never thought there would ever be a time in my life that I would curse Ghandi's very existence.

    I have since learned better.
    The wife and I got to where we were playing Civ Rev on the Xbox every night for several months. Over the course of that time, we developed a verbal tick where she or I, whenever the other would say the name "Ghandi" would reply "Ghandi's an asshole."

    Then it happened in public.

    I fail to see the problem here. He WAS an asshole.

    Apothe0sis on
  • ahavaahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Civ Rev is seriously a reason I am strongly contemplating getting a 360 once i get to kiwiland. Cause seriously, awesome.

    and Ghandhi is a warmongering asshole. He does not (in this case) need to have his name spelled correctly.

    ahava on
  • OptimusZedOptimusZed Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Ghandi is a dick.

    Gandhi was pretty cool, considering.

    OptimusZed on
    We're reading Rifts. You should too. You know you want to. Now With Ninjas!

    They tried to bury us. They didn't know that we were seeds. 2018 Midterms. Get your shit together.
  • GimGim a tall glass of water Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    CasedOut wrote: »
    also that I require more vespene gas

    Even if something is wholly depleted, 20 robots will keep on collecting it. A valuable lesson.

    Gim on
  • OptimusZedOptimusZed Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Gim wrote: »
    CasedOut wrote: »
    also that I require more vespene gas

    Even if something is wholly depleted, 20 robots will keep on collecting it. A valuable lesson.
    Workers without something to work on are so sad.

    They're the videogame equivalent of autoworkers that just got replaced by robots.

    OptimusZed on
    We're reading Rifts. You should too. You know you want to. Now With Ninjas!

    They tried to bury us. They didn't know that we were seeds. 2018 Midterms. Get your shit together.
  • Endless_SerpentsEndless_Serpents Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Regret changes the nature of a man.

    Endless_Serpents on
  • simulacrumsimulacrum She/herRegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    You can never save enough.

    simulacrum on
  • HachfaceHachface Not the Minister Farrakhan you're thinking of Dammit, Shepard!Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    simulacrum wrote: »
    You can never save enough.

    Unless the game has a save corruption bug that kicks in when you make too many saves.

    Hachface on
  • y2jake215y2jake215 certified Flat Birther theorist the Last Good Boy onlineRegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    rising from your grave at the behest of a wizard with a speech impediment is generally a hassle and should be avoided

    y2jake215 on
    C8Ft8GE.jpg
    maybe i'm streaming terrible dj right now if i am its here
  • DanHibikiDanHibiki Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    simulacrum wrote: »
    You can never save enough.

    In the Zone the only thing standing in the way of imminent death is not the superior artifacts you collect, the awesome weapons, superior skills or the power armor. The only thing that keeps you from death is the quick save button.

    DanHibiki on
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Guitar Hero and Rock Band build no useful skills*, and that's okay.

    *does not include Rock Band 3's Pro Guitar, which is fucking hard.

    chamberlain on
  • ahavaahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Incorrect, Chamberlain!

    Mom got an email notification the other day from enabling Devices, a company that makes well enabling devices to help special needs kids learn.

    Apparently, guitar hero is awesome for special needs kids to learn coordination.

    ahava on
  • RT800RT800 Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Sometimes the progress of even the most agile hero can be halted by a stack of knee-high boxes or a row of trees.

    RT800 on
  • ahavaahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    A cardboard box makes you invisible.

    ahava on
  • simulacrumsimulacrum She/herRegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    DanHibiki wrote: »
    simulacrum wrote: »
    You can never save enough.

    In the Zone the only thing standing in the way of imminent death is not the superior artifacts you collect, the awesome weapons, superior skills or the power armor. The only thing that keeps you from death is the quick save button.

    simulacrum on
  • ChillyWillyChillyWilly Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Incorrect, Chamberlain!

    Mom got an email notification the other day from enabling Devices, a company that makes well enabling devices to help special needs kids learn.

    Apparently, guitar hero is awesome for special needs kids to learn coordination.

    I have a feeling he was just talking about actual instrument skill.

    But I disagree with him as well. I very much think you can learn to be a better drummer by playing the drums in music games. Of course the guitars are useless, though. :D

    ChillyWilly on
    PAFC Top 10 Finisher in Seasons 1 and 3. 2nd in Seasons 4 and 5. Final 4 in Season 6.
  • ahavaahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Well yeah, probably. But I thought that it was a kinda cool thing so I was looking for an excuse to share it.

    And Chamberlain fell so nicely into my plan! Mwuahahaha

    Ahem.

    I have also learned that Gladiators only die outside the arena, but inside the arena they just bleed a little. And that LucasArts HATES ME because they made all these cool items for a Galdr PC, but you cannot have a Galdr PC.

    I am also better at swing meters than pretty much anything else ever.

    ahava on
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Incorrect, Chamberlain!

    Mom got an email notification the other day from enabling Devices, a company that makes well enabling devices to help special needs kids learn.

    Apparently, guitar hero is awesome for special needs kids to learn coordination.

    I have a feeling he was just talking about actual instrument skill.

    But I disagree with him as well. I very much think you can learn to be a better drummer by playing the drums in music games. Of course the guitars are useless, though. :D

    I was referring to the guitars. Don't get me wrong, I love the games, but the jump from five buttons to one hundred is breaking my mind.

    chamberlain on
  • ChillyWillyChillyWilly Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    I have learned never to buy Bethesda games on the first day. Wait until some patches come out or you will want to kill things.

    ChillyWilly on
    PAFC Top 10 Finisher in Seasons 1 and 3. 2nd in Seasons 4 and 5. Final 4 in Season 6.
  • RobmanRobman Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Hoarding a very rare thing is more pleasing then using it. Be it a bottle of very expensive champagne or a fucking boss-raping nuclear warhead, seeing it sitting there unused teases one with potentials that rarely meet their actual experience.

    Robman on
  • NuckerNucker Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    A cardboard box makes you invisible.


    Unless someone is feeling grumpy and decides to kick your box. Then you will be shot for hiding in a box.

    Also, the guitars used as coordination tools for special needs children is fucking rad.

    (I think you could make an argument that they help other people too by developing finger coordination and a better sense of rhythm).

    With regards to button mashing--

    If you are of middle skill level in any kind of fighting game, expect that someone who button mashes will beat you %25 of the time.

    Nucker on
  • NuckerNucker Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Robman wrote: »
    Hoarding a very rare thing is more pleasing then using it. Be it a bottle of very expensive champagne or a fucking boss-raping nuclear warhead, seeing it sitting there unused teases one with potentials that rarely meet their actual experience.

    Fallout New Vegas:
    I blew up the president and the entire assembled congregation with a Fatman.

    Just saying.

    Nucker on
  • LuxLux Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    At the end of Shadow of the Colossus,
    You are sucked into that vortex, but you can grab onto the stairs right before it. And your grip meter doesn't run out. You can just hold on to it forever, but then the game will never end and you will be sitting there pressing a button forever.

    It taught me that sometimes we should just give up and end our meaningless lives.

    Lux on
  • HavelockHavelock Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    I have learned never to buy Bethesda games on the first day. Wait until some patches come out or you will want to kill things.

    Also waiting for the modding community to catch up is a good idea as well. Took a year off from Oblivion and it was a vastly improved experience the next time around as opposed to vanilla.

    Havelock on
  • jothkijothki Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Regret changes the nature of a man.

    On the contrary, regret is nothing but a prison for the mind. One cannot change one's nature in the present by trapping oneself in the past.

    jothki on
  • JintorJintor Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Belief can change the nature of a man.

    Jintor on
  • TaminTamin Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Mim wrote: »
    Metroids have feelings too.

    More importantly, Metroids are not pets.

    And I can't exactly explain it, but I've always felt that playing single player RTSs have taught me how to handle money.

    You persist until you have the income to support the things you want, then you purchase those things that'll contribute to an infrastructure, and finally you buy the luxuries; making sure your income and infrastructure will support sudden lifestyle shifts.

    The analogy falls apart right as the first zealot storms your house, but ...

    Tamin on
  • MimMim dead.Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Tamin wrote: »
    Mim wrote: »
    Metroids have feelings too.

    More importantly, Metroids are not pets.

    BUT IT'S SO CUTE!

    Mim on
    BlueSky: thequeenofchaos Steam: mimspanks (add me then tell me who you are! Ask for my IG)
  • TaminTamin Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Mim wrote: »
    Tamin wrote: »
    Mim wrote: »
    Metroids have feelings too.

    More importantly, Metroids are not pets.

    BUT IT'S SO CUTE!

    Alright, but when you're a pile of essence-drained dust , don't come crying to me.

    Tamin on
  • jothkijothki Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Tamin wrote: »
    Mim wrote: »
    Metroids have feelings too.

    More importantly, Metroids are not pets.

    And I can't exactly explain it, but I've always felt that playing single player RTSs have taught me how to handle money.

    You persist until you have the income to support the things you want, then you purchase those things that'll contribute to an infrastructure, and finally you buy the luxuries; making sure your income and infrastructure will support sudden lifestyle shifts.

    The analogy falls apart right as the first zealot storms your house, but ...

    That, or you immediately spend your first paycheck on a good knife and go for your enemy's throat.

    jothki on
  • TimeSynchTimeSynch Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    I've learned that a single man can be and IS the reinforcements.

    TimeSynch on
  • TaminTamin Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    TimeSynch wrote: »
    I've learned that a single man can be and IS the reinforcements.

    "Hang on Recon 1. We're sending a commando"

    Tamin on
  • DrezDrez Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    I've learned to avoid men whose first or last name start with the letter K.

    Drez on
    Switch: SW-7690-2320-9238Steam/PSN/Xbox: Drezdar
  • MimMim dead.Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Tamin wrote: »
    Mim wrote: »
    Tamin wrote: »
    Mim wrote: »
    Metroids have feelings too.

    More importantly, Metroids are not pets.

    BUT IT'S SO CUTE!

    Alright, but when you're a pile of essence-drained dust , don't come crying to me.

    I thought that one Metroid Samus found sacrificed itself to save her? I just need to kidnap a baby metroid. Boom, problem solved.

    Also, you save people from deadly wasps, and you're going to be called "Chicken Chaser".o_O

    Mim on
    BlueSky: thequeenofchaos Steam: mimspanks (add me then tell me who you are! Ask for my IG)
  • DrakeonDrakeon Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Drez wrote: »
    I've learned to avoid men whose first or last name start with the letter K.

    What about if they both start with K?

    Drakeon on
    PSN: Drakieon XBL: Drakieon Steam: TheDrakeon
  • MimMim dead.Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Drakeon wrote: »
    Drez wrote: »
    I've learned to avoid men whose first or last name start with the letter K.

    What about if they both start with K?

    They cancel each other out.

    Mim on
    BlueSky: thequeenofchaos Steam: mimspanks (add me then tell me who you are! Ask for my IG)
  • TaminTamin Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    Mim wrote: »

    Also, you save people from deadly wasps, and you're going to be called "Chicken Chaser".o_O

    I do not follow. Is this a Profound Truth, or something relating to Metroid? Because... What?

    Tamin on
  • TofystedethTofystedeth Registered User regular
    edited November 2010
    It's from Fable.

    Tofystedeth on
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