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Wrongfully Accused
Nechriah
Chookity!Registered User regular
Chookity!Registered User regular
I've recently found myself in a very unusual situation. Last week I'd finished work, and was sitting on a bench outside a local shopping centre with a cold drink, when three people came up to me. Two of them were obviously plain-clothes police, and the other was a very frightened looking teenage waitress, who started pointing at me and screaming “That's him!”
One of the detectives showed me his badge, asked to see some ID (which I gave him), while the other detective was talking to the girl. I was kind of confused so I asked the officer who'd been talking to me what was going on.
“This young lady alleges that you assaulted her,” he told me.
I was pretty shocked because I've never even seen this girl before, much less touched her. I pretty much told the detective this, but he didn't seem convinced. He went away and talked on his radio for a bit, then asked me if I'd come to the police station with them. I didn't think I had much choice in the matter so I got in the car.
So, I was now sitting in a police interview room with two detectives. The one who'd approached me first told me that this girl had been walking near a train station a few months ago when a guy grabbed her around the waist and touched her butt and her crotch. When she saw me in the car-park she thought she recognised me as her attacker, so she ran and found these detectives who happened to be nearby.
The detective started asking me if I caught the train (I do nearly every day), and if I ever got off at this particular station (which I sometimes do); then he asked if I knew a certain man (I probably shouldn't mention his name) who drove a green car – apparently this girl's attacker got into this car after groping her. I told them – truthfully – that I didn't know this guy, which he also confirmed when they rang him. At that point the two detectives seemed less convinced that it was me who they were after. Which a relief, since a few minutes before one of them had been saying “If you did this and I found out you've been dicking me around, you'll be in handcuffs on your way to the lock-up before you have time to say 'what the fuck just happened'.”
To finish off, they asked me if I'd consent to do an interview on a hand-held camera, running through the events of my encounter with them that day, and to have my picture taken. I agreed, and then they gave me a ride home. “Thanks for you cooperation,” they told me, “we're sorry for the trouble, but we're just trying to do the right thing by you and the young lady. It sounds like it's a case of mistaken identity. If you don't hear from us, then that's probably a good thing.”
Okay, so the story seems to end here. Trouble is, I've been fucking terrified of going out in public since this all happened. Every time I get within sight of the shopping centre where this all started, I have a full blown panic attack. This girl clearly works around the shopping centre so I'm scared of going back there, and she must catch the train on the same line as me. I even saw her on the train today, getting off the carriage as I was getting on. Fortunately, I don't think she saw me, but my chest got so tight and I was shaking so much that I actually collapsed, and one of the train guards asked if I was having a stroke.
I'm sure this poor girl's suffered a lot, and I'm sorry for what happened to her. I'm not trying to minimise her ordeal one bit. But I didn't do this to her, and now I'm afraid that if I see her again I'll have to go through all this crap again, or that she'll make a scene and accuse me of being a sex offender in front of people near a shopping centre or on a crowded train. That's the sort of mud that does not come off, as they say. I don't want to have to worry about this every time I go shopping or catch the train, but that's going to be hard considering how small this town is. So what the hell should I do?
TL;DR – I was recently accused of an indecent assault which I did not commit, but I must resemble the attacker a lot. I am now terrified of running into the victim again, but this is highly likely because I live in a small town where she apparently also resides. I would like to live my life without the panic attacks and fear of being labelled a sex offender which I am currently experiencing. Advice please.
One of the detectives showed me his badge, asked to see some ID (which I gave him), while the other detective was talking to the girl. I was kind of confused so I asked the officer who'd been talking to me what was going on.
“This young lady alleges that you assaulted her,” he told me.
I was pretty shocked because I've never even seen this girl before, much less touched her. I pretty much told the detective this, but he didn't seem convinced. He went away and talked on his radio for a bit, then asked me if I'd come to the police station with them. I didn't think I had much choice in the matter so I got in the car.
So, I was now sitting in a police interview room with two detectives. The one who'd approached me first told me that this girl had been walking near a train station a few months ago when a guy grabbed her around the waist and touched her butt and her crotch. When she saw me in the car-park she thought she recognised me as her attacker, so she ran and found these detectives who happened to be nearby.
The detective started asking me if I caught the train (I do nearly every day), and if I ever got off at this particular station (which I sometimes do); then he asked if I knew a certain man (I probably shouldn't mention his name) who drove a green car – apparently this girl's attacker got into this car after groping her. I told them – truthfully – that I didn't know this guy, which he also confirmed when they rang him. At that point the two detectives seemed less convinced that it was me who they were after. Which a relief, since a few minutes before one of them had been saying “If you did this and I found out you've been dicking me around, you'll be in handcuffs on your way to the lock-up before you have time to say 'what the fuck just happened'.”
To finish off, they asked me if I'd consent to do an interview on a hand-held camera, running through the events of my encounter with them that day, and to have my picture taken. I agreed, and then they gave me a ride home. “Thanks for you cooperation,” they told me, “we're sorry for the trouble, but we're just trying to do the right thing by you and the young lady. It sounds like it's a case of mistaken identity. If you don't hear from us, then that's probably a good thing.”
Okay, so the story seems to end here. Trouble is, I've been fucking terrified of going out in public since this all happened. Every time I get within sight of the shopping centre where this all started, I have a full blown panic attack. This girl clearly works around the shopping centre so I'm scared of going back there, and she must catch the train on the same line as me. I even saw her on the train today, getting off the carriage as I was getting on. Fortunately, I don't think she saw me, but my chest got so tight and I was shaking so much that I actually collapsed, and one of the train guards asked if I was having a stroke.
I'm sure this poor girl's suffered a lot, and I'm sorry for what happened to her. I'm not trying to minimise her ordeal one bit. But I didn't do this to her, and now I'm afraid that if I see her again I'll have to go through all this crap again, or that she'll make a scene and accuse me of being a sex offender in front of people near a shopping centre or on a crowded train. That's the sort of mud that does not come off, as they say. I don't want to have to worry about this every time I go shopping or catch the train, but that's going to be hard considering how small this town is. So what the hell should I do?
TL;DR – I was recently accused of an indecent assault which I did not commit, but I must resemble the attacker a lot. I am now terrified of running into the victim again, but this is highly likely because I live in a small town where she apparently also resides. I would like to live my life without the panic attacks and fear of being labelled a sex offender which I am currently experiencing. Advice please.
Nechriah on
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Secondly, just remember that the cops have already taken you in, talked to you, recorded you talking about the event and have your picture and their reports on file. I know this wasn't a full arrest with rights being read to you and all that, but they have plenty of reason to believe that you are not some crazy sex offender. So I wouldn't really worry about the cops all that much if you have committed no crime.
Lastly, you can't really do anything about the crazy girl. If she thinks you touched her, then that's what she thinks. If you think she's going to cause a scene then the only thing you can really do is avoid her as much as possible and try not to let her get in your head too much. This sounds like it's affecting your day to day and I don't blame you. The stigma of accused sex offenders (when a woman accuses a man) is not something I would want to carry around with me or relive if I came into contact with the accuser.
Just take deep breaths and live your life, man. This will all blow over eventually.
EDIT: What Jacob said, too. I was more looking at the personal side of the issue and not the legal, but he makes and good point. The longer a paper trail you can leave in these situations the better.
there's nothing you can do about being near the girl in the future, if the town is as small as you say. Just remember that you are innocent and you shouldn't have to change your life just because you resemble someone a girl thinks assaulted her MONTHS ago
Not to besmirch the character of any victim, but honestly after MONTHS since she last saw the guy, she could have pointed to any random dude on the street and thought they looked like the guy, her mind has almost certainly changed how he looks to her based on the trauma of the event. Memory is not even close to perfect.
Contact a lawyer and he'll also help to talk you down a bit. Not to jump anything but you should have called at least a public attorney before answering any questions, your basic rights assure you of counsel before any questions. It's common for some police to try to take advantage of scared youths. Co-operating is very commendable, but you have to be careful, some police are not looking out for your best interests. And remember, miranda warning has to be given before interrogation.
Breath deep, calm down, you didn't do anything wrong even a little. If you see her again, stay calm. If she freaks out, stay calm. Don't run away, but continue on your day. Do not talk to her. If the cops pick you up again if she calls them again, they'll see you're the same guy, and they'll talk to her about it.
You resembling her attacker is NO FAULT of yours. Nothing bad will happen from any of this.
As far as potentially being in the same place as this woman, you can either 1) radically alter your daily routine to avoid her or 2) get over it. That is a little bit blunt, but she is the one with the problem here, not you. It's terrible that she got assaulted, but letting the sight of her send you into hysterics is silliness.
Worst case scenario, she sees you, yells about it, the police arrive and you do the whole thing again (with a lawyer there, this time.) And it sucks that you'll be put through that, but ultimately she's the crazy one, not you.
that's why we call it the struggle, you're supposed to sweat
It sucks that the girl got hurt, but it has nothing to do with you.
She definitely should've reported it and it seems random that some detective with nothing to do would bring you down for questioning for something that happened months ago unless there was a police report from months ago. That seems fishy, you should probably talk to a lawyer anyways.
http://boingboing.net/2008/07/28/law-prof-and-cop-agr.html
EDIT: Ceres, I realize this might seem slightly off topic, but it's useful advice for the future in dealing with the police. Especially in matters where you have been 100% wrongfully accused. Since some of his anxiety is stemming from having dealt with the police or maybe dealing with them in the future, it seems relevant.
Unless they're placing you under arrest, do not agree to go to the police station. Even if they do arrest you, do not agree to be interviewed and certainly do not agree to have the interview taped.
They are not trying to clear you of the crime- they're trying to collect evidence to convict you. The only thing you should ever say to the police in such a situation is "I want a lawyer."
Rigorous Scholarship
Maybe you lot trying to help could follow the OP's example and act grown up about this?
Anyway, OP - the cops are likely to have told her she fingered the wrong guy, so I doubt she's going to do it twice.
"you lot" indeed!
First and primary thing you need to do is get a lawyer. If the cops decide to pursue this, you'll need to have one available right away. And if the girl continues to persecute you, now that she thinks you're her attacker, you'll need legal recourse. It's unfortunate what she's gone through, I agree, but you're still an innocent man, and you don't need to change your life or bend over backwards to accommodate someone you don't know and don't care about. You're #1 right now, and you need to look out for your own well being and good name.
Don't, under any circumstance, try to make contact with the girl in question. I'm sure you have no intention of doing that, but just to make sure it's said aloud, don't do that.
She went through something pretty traumatic and she's obviously shaken up about it and even if the police told her that you didn't do it, she still probably has doubts in her mind.
You can't turn your life around because of this though. You've still got to take the train and you've still got to shop at that shopping center. Just do the best you can. I'm sorry to hear about this because it sounds like you've been through a lot as well.
For the anxiety, maybe you should consider speaking to a professional about it? If you've got decent insurance therapy is pretty cheap and most plans offer seven free sessions a year that a lot of people don't know about. It might be a good way to get a better perspective on things.
If she ever tries to contact you or approach you, document the event and notify your attorney and let him/her notify the authorities. Don't try to handle it yourself.
Good luck man.
But if she does approach you again at the mall, don't talk to her or engage her in any way. If she persists, you should call mall security or even the cops. Though what happened to her is terrible, that doesn't give her the right to harass you.
Just get on with your life. Always remember that you're innocent, so just act that way. You have every right to go to the mall freely.
Rigorous Scholarship
it's happened to me twice where I was identified by name and that shit stayed on my mind for months afterwards. (stories inside the spoiler, copied from an old thread)
So later on I show up there and let the lady at the front desk know that I'm there to see the detective. After about 45 minutes, the lady detective shows up and has me follow her to her office. After sitting down, she immediately asks why I've been avoiding their phone calls (3 a day for the last 2 weeks apparently). I ask her what number she's been using and she tells me [some number]. I tell her no, that my number is actually [my number] & that it's the line for my dorm. (I don't remember the specifics, but the dorm lines used the actually room number as the last x digits.) She types at her computer for a minute and says "oh, you mean [dorm room] - you moved out of there a month ago and now live at [some off-campus apartment]." I explain that, no, I haven't moved and she can come check for herself after 3 or 4 rounds of 'are you sure?' & 'that's not what our records say'.
She didn't seem satisfied, but decided to move on. "Well, I guess you know why you're here?" I didn't know, and told her as such. She informed me that my girlfriend had filed an abuse complaint. I wasn't even casually seeing anyone at the time, let alone in a relationship. At this point I'm pretty relieved but still damn confused. Again, I had to repeat about 4 times to this lady that I didn't have any girlfriend and had no idea what she was talking about. She finally let me go with a warning that "If I find out you lied to me, you're gonna be in way worse trouble."
Fast forward 3 years and I'm living in an on-campus apartment (4 bedrooms/2 baths with a central living room/kitchen.) It's 10ish on a saturday night and I'm watching a movie. 1 of my roommates is in his room playing a computer game with a headset on and the other 2 are out. Our doorbell rings and I answer the door to find 5 guys in the hallway: 1 is the director of campus housing, 3 are campus police, and the last one identifies himself as an ATF agent. (from what I recall - he may have been with another agency)
They ask for me specifically and after I let them in, inform me that there have been several complaints that I have been selling drugs in the complex. I let them know that I have never used or sold drugs and consent to them looking around. (In theory, I oppose baseless searches - but I had nothing to hide and was kinda freaking out at the time) The agent follows me to my room and asks about a few things (a camera case, a little cedar box I had, etc) before declaring "you seem pretty nervous." I told him something like "well yeah, I just had 5 guys show up and accuse me of something I'd never do".
He seemed satisfied after that and they started to leave. Then one of them said "well maybe we've got the wrong guy" pointing into one of the empty rooms. I looked in there and there was what appeared to be a wallpaper or screensaver of some lush green plants. I sorta stumbled through a "yeah, I don't know what that is..." (later I remembered that my other roomie had been watching lost earlier and had paused it quickly when his ride had arrived - during one of season one's many jungle chase scenes) They decided not to investigate any further though.
Meanwhile, one of the cops had popped into the present roommate's room to check things out there and scared the shit out of him. (he had been wearing a headset) Said roommate was heavily into airsoft at the time and happened to have a desert eagle replica sitting on his bed. (no orange bits, looks completely real until you're a couple feet away and can tell it's plastic.) He was able to point to the little target he had and a gallon of yellow bb's when the guy asked about it, but he and I both were freaked out later by what might've happened if he had left it on his desk instead of the bed.
anyway, they left soon after and I never heard anything about either incident again.
I don't think immediately running out to get a lawyer is necessary, but if you somehow get brought in again (which I don't think is likely) you should probably explain what happened before and ask for a lawyer if they want to requestion you.
I am going to second the suggestion to see a therapist though. You don't want this anxiety affecting your life so much.
This sounds like him trying be a tough guy dickhead to you, especially because he basically just said "if we find out you're guilty we will punish you"
You have a right to remain silent, and you should exercise it, always, unless your attorney tells you otherwise. Don't have an attorney? Then your attorney isn't telling you otherwise.
You should at least talk to an attorney, let him know what's up. You don't necessarily have to retain him, but knowing that there's someone there to take your call if she has you hauled in at 3am on a Saturday should help with your peace of mind. Also, you may be able to seek civil redress against her (i.e. sue her, or get a protective order against her). Again, talk to an attorney.
I mean, I understand the trauma of being falsely accused, and being nervous seeing this girl around, and whatnot. But securing a lawyer to protect you from all the harassment that you seemingly have no evidence actually exists seems a bit much.
If the episode is upsetting you to the point where you're having panic attacks in the street, and can barely function in your day-to-day life, I'd suggest you chat with a therapist before you worry about a lawyer.
Regarding that specifically, don't let it intimidate or scare you. It's basically a psychological tool used at the very last possible second to see if a reaction to it presents itself.
It was actually an unofficial part of one of the lessons in a batmanology class I took in college.
In future, don't ever do an interview with the cops without a lawyer present. They know your rights, and will protect you.
You really have nothing to fear from a second arrest. It's not technically illegal (at least not in my county) for them to pick you up again without new evidence, but it's pretty much asking for a lawsuit. The police aren't your friend in this situation, but they're also not mustachioed villains out to make your life suck.
And they're obviously not going to turn up new evidence under the circumstances - you were a dead end in a cold case. So far after the fact, any new evidence is going to have to come from the victim. After one mistake like this, the police are liable to be skeptical of her anyway, but she'll have an especially hard sale on any further attempt to blame you.
You have no idea how much I want that to be an actual course title.
Just to clarify, I'm an Australia so while I'm sure we have something similar to Miranda rights and the fifth amendment, I'm not sure how similar. The detectives only gave me the option of consenting or refusing to do two things: the hand-held camera interview and having my photo taken. They also phrased it like “sure, you can say no but we'll take that to mean you have something to hide” which I know I should have seen through, but I was so anxious at the time I wasn't thinking clearly.
They certainly didn't give me a choice about coming to the station, and they certainly never said anything about me having the right to not answer any questions. Only other thing I remember is the other cop (not the Batman-ing one) saying that I wasn't under arrest, I was merely “helping them with their inquiries”. Looking back, I suppose I should have questioned a lot of those thing, but again, I was not thinking too clearly at the time – shit was happening very fast and I was way out of my depth. All the more reason to have spoken with a lawyer then, I know
I really don't know the first thing about procuring the services of a lawyer; and I'm not sure I can afford to. However, I do have a good friend who's nearly finished her criminal law degree, and I know she's done some internships and whatnot, so I will direct all questions about this sort of thing to her: i.e. 'how do I go about getting a lawyer?', 'do you know of any good ones in this area?', 'how badly do I need to speak to one at this stage?', etc.
As for the girl who accused me: no, I have no intention of ever approaching her or speaking to her – quite the opposite, I'd like to avoid her forever if I could! However, I know that there's a good chance of our paths crossing in the future by dint of how small this town is; hell, it's already happened once since, but I don't think she saw me. While she has not made trouble for me (well, more trouble) on that occasion, I really don't want to have to deal with her screaming “that's the guy who molested me!” or some such every time our paths cross.
I'd never accuse her of harassment or libel because from the sound of it she's been through enough and that's the last thing she needs; but some peace of mind (for both of us) would be nice. Again, I'll check with my legally-minded friend about whether the police would have notified this girl that I wasn't her attacker. Actually, as I'm typing this I'm remembering that her dad is a cop so she probably really is the best person to talk to about the legal side of this issue.
On the personal side, I was seeing a therapist earlier this year (I have a host of issues besides these panic attacks, they're a new one) but we weren't really...jiving, I guess. Given how close we are to the end of the year, it's probably a bad time to start shopping around for a new therapist, but I'll look into that early in the new year. I might even be able to get some free/cheap sessions through the psych department at my university. While I'm at it, I can see if they offer Batmanology :P
So, my plan is:
1. Ask my friend who's studying criminal law about good lawyers in this area, and things of that nature.
2. Find a new therapist next year to help with the anxiety.
3. Try to get on with my day-to-day life as best I can in the meantime.
Thanks again to everyone who's replied with advice! Please let me know if you think I've overlooked anything that I should do.
I'm unfamiliar with Australian law specifically (although it should be similar to British law, surely?) and am not a lawyer, so anyone with more knowledge feel free to tell me I'm wrong if I am.
As to running into her again, keep in mind that you have been questioned and let go because the police could see no reason that you were who they were looking for. Because you aren't. You've done absolutely nothing wrong here. There's also no reason that she'll freak out again if she sees you - she may even be embarrassed that she misidentified you.
I would also absolutely recommend finding a therapist that you work well with as soon as possible if you feel you need it.
@gamefacts - Totally and utterly true gaming facts on the regular!
From the section in Fairfield on criminal law, it looks like they had grounds to arrest you but opted not to. You don't have a legal right to a lawyer during an interview, arrested or not, but common law 'recognises your entitlement to one', and the police have guidelines supporting this, so you ask and you get. You don't ever have to participate in an interview if you don't want to, but whatever you say can be taken down as evidence - this is similar to US Miranda rights, but not the same (note to US readers: your law is really different to ours in a lot of respects, so be cautious about how specific you get with advice in here. Nothing outright incorrect has been said so far, at least).
Any public accusations made by anyone after this could constitute defamation, but this is a complex area of law. Ask your lawyer pal. Australian defamation laws are much stricter than most other places, and offer considerable protection. I don't think you need to worry about needing it, though. I know you're anxious, but I don't think you have any substantial grounds to think that she might start hollering at you in the newsagent. That said, if she does, you should vigorously defend yourself from slander.