The main point of this is, you don't have to tell me to see a doctor, because I am going to see one ASAP.
That said. Something has come to my attention tonight and it could be horrible (aggressive cancer horrible), or it could be something nothing, or it could be take-some-anti-biotics. When I was younger I used to be afraid to go to the doctor just in case whatever it was was something bad. Now I just want to get it over with. I needed to see my doctor anyway. My problem is Thursday I was supposed to go somewhere and Friday I'm supposed to work, and New Year's is coming up...why does shit like this always happen on weekends or holidays? I don't even know when I'm going to be able to get in to see my doc, but I'm going to call when they open tomorrow morning. Maybe they can squeeze me in right away. I hope. But this kind of thing is most likely going to necessitate other tests, and those kinds of places are the ones I'm going to have to wait to get into, probably until next week. So that's kind of why I'm freaking out. My mind is going straight to worst-case scenario stuff, mostly because of the enforced waiting. Googling made it worse. Now I just keep thinking about my kids and how upset they would be if I died (I had a parent die when I was a kid, so I am in a position to appreciate how completely terrible it is).
I should just go to sleep. If I could.
Anyone able to relate with being horrible at not worrying/waiting? Anyone have any tricks or advice to get my mind off of it?