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Social Anxiety?
suicidexcuse
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
I don't know what to do about this. I think I have some form of social anxiety or social phobia.
I'm finishing up my third year of university and today I was late to class by like 5 minutes and instead of going in, I just walked by. I am now waiting for my next class to start which isn't for another 2 hours. I've been doing this for 3 years and haven't told anyone, not even my wife. I never talked to people at my old work and because of that, according to my wife, they thought I was stuck up. Even at family gatherings, with immediate family only, I have trouble speaking up. My voice will even shake a little when talking to my 4 siblings. I'm great at one on one talking. I can make friends with someone as long as its just the two of us but add one more person and it's a disaster.
I've always been this way and I hate it. I don't even know why it happens. I feel like people are judging me, even though I know they aren't. Even on the first day of class when we have to introduce each other to the class, my heart starts pounding like crazy. If it's a presentation and I've had time to prepare it, I sound confident and don't get all that nervous.
As for the usual advice of exercise, I have been doing that 3 times a week for the last 6 months. And it has helped me to feel better about myself but overall I feel like nothings changed. As for counselling, I doubt we could pay for it but any advice as to where to turn would be appreciated. In Calgary, Canada by the way. I'm going back to work in April and graduating in a year and I want to fix this. So any advice would be welcome and thank you in advance.
I'm finishing up my third year of university and today I was late to class by like 5 minutes and instead of going in, I just walked by. I am now waiting for my next class to start which isn't for another 2 hours. I've been doing this for 3 years and haven't told anyone, not even my wife. I never talked to people at my old work and because of that, according to my wife, they thought I was stuck up. Even at family gatherings, with immediate family only, I have trouble speaking up. My voice will even shake a little when talking to my 4 siblings. I'm great at one on one talking. I can make friends with someone as long as its just the two of us but add one more person and it's a disaster.
I've always been this way and I hate it. I don't even know why it happens. I feel like people are judging me, even though I know they aren't. Even on the first day of class when we have to introduce each other to the class, my heart starts pounding like crazy. If it's a presentation and I've had time to prepare it, I sound confident and don't get all that nervous.
As for the usual advice of exercise, I have been doing that 3 times a week for the last 6 months. And it has helped me to feel better about myself but overall I feel like nothings changed. As for counselling, I doubt we could pay for it but any advice as to where to turn would be appreciated. In Calgary, Canada by the way. I'm going back to work in April and graduating in a year and I want to fix this. So any advice would be welcome and thank you in advance.
suicidexcuse on
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It was a maturity thing for me, I'm 27 now and at 21 I struggled with it mightily.
I totally understand what you're going through though, that is most certainly a social anxiety at work. Counseling (and eventually medication) helped me.
Keep in mind that it will take time to get through. It will also take work. And don't expect to suddenly become the most outgoing person ever.
Hang in there!
I still get super nervous if I feel out of place or other triggers, but it is definitely something I believe you can positively influence. This is part of growing up, especially if you were always a little bit of an outsider.
This right here.
Just walking with my head held high and looking people in the eye/nodding while passing in the halls has helped crap ton. Try it on cashiers or people in situations that you won't likely see them again also, just eye contact and a greeting.
I still feel out of place sometime, and certain situations are kinda rough for me. Like a party where I know 1 person. Or the thought of a video game convention which I am forcing myself to do this year.
It takes time and keeping at it but positive steps can't hurt.
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This might be true, but as he's in school, he's likely in a unique position where mental health services are extremely easy to access compared to once he's out of school, since pretty much every university has free counselling. Exploring that option is probably a wise idea.
So yeah, go talk to someone, but also don't feel too broken. You aren't. What you're dealing with is normal and you can absolutely overcome it. Good luck!
Boom. Thirding this. This was me exactly (as I'm sure it was for many folks around here).
It sounds like shitty advice, but seriously, fake it till you make it.
Also this:
Everybody goes through this phase, imagined audience or something like that. I don't remember exactly, we went over it in our child psyche class. You're suppossed to grow out of it around middle school, but sometimes it takes a bit longer.
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Just talk to your doctor.
Honestly, the only thing that helps me is either being on medication or not being around anyone. I went to therapy a while ago and it didn't really help me. I've just kind of accepted the fact that I need this medication so I can function normally. It's a huge crutch and I hate it, but I have to have it in order to function. I hope this isn't the case for you.
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