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Euphoria
ege02
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I'm happy.
Not just content. I mean, really happy.
This isn't because of any external factor. I didn't get a top-notch internship or job. I didn't ace my midterm. I didn't start a relationship with a wonderful girl.
I'm just... well, happy.
Everyday I walk down the street with a wide smile on my face. I say hi to everyone, ask cashiers how their day is going, offer the empty seats on my table to strangers at the HUB during busy hours. I feel energetic, motivated, powerful. Euphoric, even.
This is a feeling that has been getting more and more intense in the past couple of months, but I don't know the source of it. Maybe I'm finally coming to the realization that my life is great. I'm surrounded by wonderful friends and family, I'm financially-secure, I'm in great health, and I have a direction to go towards for the future.
Yet at the same time, when I "detach" and look at this feeling, I'm confused. Shouldn't there be a reason, an external, tangible reason, for feeling happy like this? If the answer is no, then have I somehow found an internal source for it?
Am I going crazy?
Don't get me wrong; I'm not complaining. I find great solace in the fact that what most people seek over the course of their entire life, what they make their life's goal, comes to me unbidden. I just want to find out the source of it, so I can learn to "tap into it" when I need to; for all I know, this might be a temporary thing, and I don't want to lose it.
Not just content. I mean, really happy.
This isn't because of any external factor. I didn't get a top-notch internship or job. I didn't ace my midterm. I didn't start a relationship with a wonderful girl.
I'm just... well, happy.
Everyday I walk down the street with a wide smile on my face. I say hi to everyone, ask cashiers how their day is going, offer the empty seats on my table to strangers at the HUB during busy hours. I feel energetic, motivated, powerful. Euphoric, even.
This is a feeling that has been getting more and more intense in the past couple of months, but I don't know the source of it. Maybe I'm finally coming to the realization that my life is great. I'm surrounded by wonderful friends and family, I'm financially-secure, I'm in great health, and I have a direction to go towards for the future.
Yet at the same time, when I "detach" and look at this feeling, I'm confused. Shouldn't there be a reason, an external, tangible reason, for feeling happy like this? If the answer is no, then have I somehow found an internal source for it?
Am I going crazy?
Don't get me wrong; I'm not complaining. I find great solace in the fact that what most people seek over the course of their entire life, what they make their life's goal, comes to me unbidden. I just want to find out the source of it, so I can learn to "tap into it" when I need to; for all I know, this might be a temporary thing, and I don't want to lose it.
ege02 on
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ege, ever the master of tact and sympathy.
. . .
I didn't arrange the topics that way.
Am I not allowed to ask for help or advice?
Indeed. Unfortunately a big part of the reason most people keep seeking this feeling is because it's fleeting for one reason or another - it's attached to circumstances, for example. Introspection might help. Let's say that suddenly the path in front of you evaporated. Your future uncertain. And then the foundation of your financial security starts to shake. Still Euphoric? If so, maybe you've reached a sort of Buddhist enlightenment, in which Euphoria comes from the casting off of attachments. If so, bully good for you.
For me, however, the Buddhists have it wrong. A life without attachments is a way to a sort of happiness and inner tranquility, but it's an empty sort. I reject enlightenment and revel in confusion and uncertainty. I'd rather ride an easy roller coaster than a supermarket scooter any day.
Nitrous oxide would be a quick way to tap into this "inner" euphoria, Redi-Whip (TM) uses it as a propellent. Though I do not advise substance abuse.
Heh, I'm not conceited enough to think I'm "enlightened" in any way on any subject or area of life. Perhaps more enlightened compared to I was in the past, but I doubt that's the reason why I'm feeling like this.
It may be attached to circumstances, but then there are a lot of areas in my life that could use improvement as well. I know what I want to do for the future but I'm not sure if I will be able to, for example. I'm also not feeling very confident when it comes to other things, such as some academic subjects, or some social areas that I'm currently exploring. I have a lot going for me, but a lot of things aren't going for me.
I'm very introspective by nature. In fact, I meditate regularly. But I can't figure this out.
Edit: You mention meditation, thats probably it. Your lungs have just opened up to a new level and be proud of reaching that stage, its wonderful how everything becomes easier with this.
Yes, I meditate, and yes, I've been working on my posture for the past month or so (i.e. not slouched-over, chest forward, shoulders backward, etc.).
I know posture affects the way other people perceive me, but I had no idea it affected the way I perceive myself as well. :shock:
But those things that are not going for you are not weighing on your life right now, right? I'm thinking perhaps that it's based on the fact that, all in all, your life is uncomplicated right now. Are you under a lot of stress? (I'm guessing no). Do you have a big deadline coming up soon that you aren't going to meet? (I'm guessing no as well).
Life has a good way of fucking this state up. Whether you are moving on in your career, somebody breaks your trust, a good friend calls to tell you they have pancreatic cancer...the world changes whether or not we want it to. A lot of the pursuit of happiness is trying to achieve temporary (or ideally, lasting) equilibrium with a world that's moving around underneath us.
Shogun Streams Vidya
I'm not worried. Just curious as to why.
DrFrylock: Perhaps. I'm not really under stress. But even when I am, I feel the same. Like, last Friday I had a chemistry midterm and on Thursday I had like three chapters to go through, but it didn't affect me (I still went through the chapters... in fact, the whole studying process was much smoother because I wasn't worried).
Currently I need two things:
1- To figure out why I'm feeling like this... perhaps to identify a tangible reason or find out a method of, uh, replicating this
2- To find an area in life to direct this positive energy towards
Keep up the good work, I've been there before(making my way back) with the really good posture and breathing mechanics, its amazing.
Edit: I suggest directing this energy towards hobbies and creative outlets. Meditation always makes me feel 100times more creative and gives me a feeling of not needing breaks/wasting time. If you draw, draw your heart out. If you write, write your heart out. If you like telling jokes, tell jokes. Do whatever feels right at the moment of time.
Sometimes extreme highs come at the cost of extreme lows.
But it sounds like you're just a pretty happy guy, so I wouldn't be too worried.
Just, look out for something shattering your good mood and taking you somewhere very, very dark.
most of all, most of all
someone said true love was dead
but i'm bound to fall
bound to fall for you
oh what can i do
By the same token, you might just be a lucky guy who recognizes that he is leading a good life and is happy with what he has. I'm one of those guys too. Takes a whole lot to get me down, and very, very little can keep me down for more than a few days. My secret is to be satisfied with the badass I am and to know that, no matter what happens, I'll be able to pull through and be stronger for it. I'm willing to bet that you're the same way.