The new forums will be named Coin Return (based on the most recent vote)! You can check on the status and timeline of the transition to the new forums here.
Please vote in the Forum Structure Poll. Polling will close at 2PM EST on January 21, 2025.
How to last longer? (Sex related)
AlternateAcct
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Hey all, simple question, as a guy, what can I do to work on lasting longer during sex? I've been trying stopping in the middle of sex and then going again (stopping close to when I was about to cum), but its not helping a whole lot. The best way I've found is the 2nd time we have sex in the same night, I last a lot longer, but thats not an ideal solution. Any tips?
AlternateAcct on
0
This discussion has been closed.
Posts
how short is "short"?
Also, what Demerdar said.
This is important. A lot of guys watch porn and think if they can't have marathon sex sessions, they're inadequate.
The technical term for how long you last during sex is "Intravaginal ejaculation latency time," and according to a recent study, the median is 5.4 minutes.
One exercise I've always been told works is to strengthen your Kegel muscle. This is the muscle that stops you from peeing. Scrunch your muscle as if you're trying to stop urination mid-flow.. that's the one. Some people say that while urinating you can just try stopping for a few seconds, letting it go, stopping, etc. Building the strength in this muscle apparently helps last longer during sex.
This is what I grew up understanding but it's been brought up on the forums before and I believe one or two people have said something to the effect that they think it's not such a good idea - could be pointless at best or harmful at worst.
But who knows, I think it's beneficial in the long run.
Heh, long run.
Also, you may want to talk with your partner about it. I felt like I wasn't lasting very long at all in bed but when I talked to her about it she said after a certain point penetrative sex can get overwhelming and uncomfortable.
Also:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLzfEjnixNw
This, my most satisfying sexual intercourses have been with significant others, I'm just looking at her face and I'm just telling her how much I like/love her or how good it is..
If this is not the case, I start doing math in my head. I usually do something like 2 x 384, 768 x 16 and so on. Multiplying multiple digit numbers is the fun part.
I've heard the Kegel thing and the math thing...my problem is always the responsiveness of my partner. Like, when she's getting turned on, it just kills me no matter what I'm doing, it seems like...
But yeah, I usually just double in my head (if I'm going to do math). So, like, I start at 1024 and then just double and see if I can get into the 10-millions before I lose all the numbers in my head. Usually I can't, but I have a few times (certainly not during sex yet).
But yeah, I last longer with her on top, though I'm not really sure why...
After you've given her a good screaming, thrashing orgasm or two, she won't care if you're a minuteman.
Other suggestions:
Less foreplay before intercourse - if you aren't worked up as much, you'll last longer.
Use a little extra lube - friction is what makes things happen
Let the first one go and just keep going. The second one always takes longer.
Desensitizing condoms tend to have the side effect of desensitizing her also. Not usually a good thing.
PSN: Beltaine-77 | Steam: beltane77 | Battle.net BadHaggis#1433
"Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor
My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback!
Sorry, I was basing that on my personal experience with my wife in which condoms aren't involved. ;-)
PSN: Beltaine-77 | Steam: beltane77 | Battle.net BadHaggis#1433
Unless you like babies.
Another thing that helped me was to relax my muscles throughout my body. Usually when we were having sex my butt would be clenched as well as other muscles, when I relaxed them I lasted much longer. I read that this is due to the fact that clenching your muscles increases blood flow and makes you finish faster but I'm not totally sure if that's true.
Sometimes, but not if it's only desensitizing on the inside.
And double up on condoms? Please tell me you have never done this.
Take some more time for foreplay. Focus on her for a while, without going out of your way to avoid getting stimulated. She's likely to be much more sensitive outside the genital zone than you are. With some practice, you'll be able to better judge at what point you should move from foreplay to actual coitus to both get as much out of it as possible.
The girl I'm seeing actually prefers quick sex. As long as she gets hers first.
Also the switching of positions allows you to change where the friction is occuring. Personally i last longer when the girl is on top. Missionary is one of the fastest positions fo rmost guys, cause of the angle of the friction. It really does vary guy to guy.
Didn't realize this was a bad thing. Was just passing on advice that was given to me.
Sorry.
PSN: Beltaine-77 | Steam: beltane77 | Battle.net BadHaggis#1433
Now you know!
If you want the reasoning behind it it's because latex<->latex friction causes an increase risk in tearing. Put on latex gloves and try to warm your hands up. Chances are you'll probably rip them.
When I first started having sex, I'd easily cum in a couple of minutes. Even with a condom on. But once I was getting laid on the regular, it started lasting longer and longer. The sensation wasn't new anymore and I wasn't getting overly excited about the prospect of having sex anymore either.
I understand with some guys this will never help. So, If nothing else, you can start taking a low dose of Zoloft. They use it to help with premature ejaculation and let me tell you, it works. I dealt with that unfortunate side effect when I took it for anxiety. I could last up to an hour before taking that shit. After taking it? 2 hours, no sweat. I really, really, really, had to concentrate to cum. That side effect lasted for QUITE some time after stopping the medication. So ya know, whatever. Haha.
The paradigm I use during play is to see the body as an instrument, with spots and touches, tensions and pressures being applied to illicit specific pleasureable responses. To stroke and touch in several places at once, creating chords and waves that travel, meet and intertwine. Crescendo and decrescendo, etc. It is as important to be able to play one's self as much as another, such are the things of harmonies and rolling themes. Because I am taking an active role in directing the flow of pleasure in myself and in my partner, I can stay below the orgasm threshold easily while creating an intense experience for them. I find creating this tension actually increases the drive to make their experience even more intense. The arousal serves to fine tune my senses and allow me to make the smallest, tiniest adjustments on the most sensitive places to create the perfect sensory experience. Or as near to it as I can manage. There's always more as it turns out.
Whenever I hear, 'last longer' I almost always translate that into 'be better', because drawing out an experience just for the sake of it is not nearly as awesome as improving its intensity or quality IMHO. I would say that in the whole pleasure skill-building thing, awareness is probably first, with response (adjustment according to feedback) next, with duration dead last. It's going to be what its going to be and should take exactly however long it needs to. Setting time aside is a very good idea, but setting an exact amount of time aside is likely a bad one.
Get yourself as close to 'the point of no return' as possible without going over, and try to maintain that level for as long as you can before you shoot by whatever means necessary. Just reducing the intensity or... uh... velocity of your technique a bit, thinking about rainforest logging, whaling, something that will help you stave off the inevitable for as long as possible.
Keep practicing and working to increase the amount of time you can maintain that absolute limit of self control and it won't take too long before you're making out like a porn star. Masturbation is also an excellent tool for training your recovery time...
I'm serious. Try it beforehand: Masturbate, but do not fantasize about anything or anyone.
Just focus on the pleasure you're feeling, not anything emotional/romantic feelings of any sort.
Chances are you won't have much trouble, even for long periods of time.
Basically I'm just reiterating that an enormous amount of sex is purely psychological. if you can transport yourself out of the moment without utterly killing the mood, you may be able to better manage the building of sensation. Find something that works and go with it.
I just want to point out to the OP that this is not normal, and in fact I can't even imagine a woman wanting you to go that long. Are you talking about the time you're actually inside her? Because an hour? Two hours? How was she walking afterwards?
Recent studies show the median time between insertion and ejaculation is five and a half minutes. Work on lasting 10-15 minutes, and you're golden.
I only did it for a 1 1/2 once and I didn't cum. Doing it for 30min + was a common occurrence. Girls can take quite a bit more than you'd ever think. Sure, they might not be able to have sex the next day right of the bat because they're sore, but given time.
I've never been with a girl thats complained about me being able to last a while. Hell, they enjoy it! As long as your good at it and keep shit interesting.
But also, you should take a good, long time to make sure she's as aroused as possible. Lots of foreplay. It really is important.
Let her ride on top for a while - many men find it easier to endure in that position, and for women it can be very pleasurable because they can get stimulation directly to their clitoris and...er, outer area (vulva? labia?) by grinding their pubic bone against yours. Like 98% of her nerve endings are in those two places.
Just make sure she gets off. Really. And you'll get better with time. Don't worry about it so much.
Just make sure that she isn't too sensitive after orgasm. MY fiancee is very very very sensitive after orgasm so sticking it in is a no go.
This is not a recommendation, just sharing some information that could or not be useful. Are you circumcised?, it is well known that men who are can last longer than those who are uncircumcised due to the loss of sensibility.
Of course, in an adult, this medical procedure could potentially cause some undesirable side effects such as erectile dysfunction, scarring.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Circumcision#Sexual_effects
[citation needed]
Jesus man, don't be so lazy, from the article above:
In a 2007 study, Sorrells et al., using monofilament touch-test mapping, found that the foreskin contains the most sensitive parts of the penis, noting that these parts are lost to circumcision. They also found that "the glans of the circumcised penis is less sensitive to fine-touch than the glans of the uncircumcised penis."
^ Sorrells, M.L.; J.L. Snyder, M.D. Reiss, C. Eden, M.F. Milos, N. Wilcox and R.S. Van Howe (May 2007). "Fine-touch pressure thresholds in the adult penis". BJU International 99 (4): 864–869
the only problem with that is some girls really get off on seeing guys enjoying themselves, so if you're off in lala land while she's doing you. she might think you're not enjoying yourself.