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Oh dear god my [i let dogs piss on my neck] girlfriend is so loud
Mortal Sky
queer punkhedge witchRegistered User regular
queer punkhedge witchRegistered User regular
Tell me about your crazy roommates.
I've only had one roommate in my life, and he's not a bad guy. Kinda awkward, and his Japanese isn't the best but hey neither is mine.
His girlfriend is also presently yipping like a dog in the next room over, and it's particularly annoying to have that mental image of them in my head.
I've only had one roommate in my life, and he's not a bad guy. Kinda awkward, and his Japanese isn't the best but hey neither is mine.
His girlfriend is also presently yipping like a dog in the next room over, and it's particularly annoying to have that mental image of them in my head.
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and I lived in a dorm with 2 sets of 7 other dudes in 2 years
I think I lucked out on roommates
I have moved three times in 2010. I sort of want to live alone when this lease is up.
it was almost big enough to be a dildo
his girlfriend had spent the night the day before, I was glad the buttplug was still clean when I saw it
That same roommate has opened for Smash Mouth...
I like it when I can't see that he has had a goodnight
I was looking forward to having a buddy to pal around with from time to time, but I guess not
Had another roommate who after seeing this very episode of Batman: TAS in my room became a furry. He even went as far as to make his girlfriend at the time dress up as a cat for sex.
All because I showed him that episode of Batman...
probably the worst time of my life
I would take a somewhat flaky, assertive-communicating roommate over a fastidious passive-aggressive roommate every time I can.
One night my best lady asked me to cut off about a foot of her hair (leaving her with a substantial amount still on her head). We laughed a lot and holy GOD her hair is thick, so it was an hour long process of thinning the remaining mane after the initial chop. Tory came home and asked us what we were going to do with all of the hair. "Uh, throw it away?" "It seems like... such a... waste. You could use it to make dolls... or bricks."
She also would occasionally throw a party that made it look like the Holocaust had happened in our living room when I got home from work around 5a.m. People passed out in the tub, under the table, on the coffee table (which eventually got broken because she danced on it all the time, which was actually delightful).
She eventually got us evicted, which was the first time I learned that given a 24 hour notice, I can totally find a place to smove all of my shit in that time.
Then I lived with boyfriends here and there. Then I moved to Minneapolis very briefly, where my roommates were an old friend and his boyfriend, both HIV positive. They were dolls. When my dad got released on his DUI, it was old friend's fault partially that he had to leave in a pirate outfit. Good times.
Back to Portland I couch surfed for awhile, and ended up in "The Montage Manor" for a few years. The first round of' roommates were The Peace Twins (who still lived there when I moved out), Audrey, an obnoxious whiny vegan who had never lived away from home, and Mae, a super-feminist turned-lesbian-by-idealism. The place took up the top two stories of an Irvington mansion, and the process of turning servants' quarters into a house made the place feel like MC Escher designed it. We also had a fire escape with a widow's walk!
Audrey eventually left, and I don't remember who moved in next. They didn't last. Then Mae left and one of my favorite bartenders/coworkers ever moved in across the hallway (E-Wood), and a waiter recently returned from Seattle took the room next to mine (Dean). E-Wood is probably the favorite roommate I've ever had. He would knock on my door at all hours with a six-pack and a loaded pipe, toss me a pack of cigarettes and it was officially time for me to listen to him agonize about his love life. One morning after we'd closed (getting home at 7a.m.), he woke me up at 9a.m. vacuuming his room in his PJs blasting Welcome to the Jungle.
"Really, E-Wood? GnR?"
"Aw yeah, baby. N-n-knees!"
His door was right next to my bathroom (one of the sweetest deals of the place: we all had our own bathrooms), so on the 4th of July I was highly amused to hear "On this, OUR INDEPENDENCE DAY!" from behind his door.
Dean, on the other hand, was an amazing author. I loved his writing. He was fascinating. Then he started disappearing for alarming intervals. Then one day I came home and he was in his room, with his door open, sucking some guy off for a few crack rocks.
That didn't end pretty, but I miss that house.
Then a few years living with the boyfriend, which drove me bugshit, now I live in a small house with three dudes. Basic breakdown: Jason, upstairs, colors comics for Marvel for ridiculous amounts of money. Matt, my floor, works at Target, one of my dearest friends for a number of years, currently spends most of his free time in Salem with the lesbian he's dating. Joel, lives in the basement, currently sitting next to me on the couch with his laptop open, playing Fallout: New Vegas on the big screen. Jason and I aren't terribly close, but Joel and Matt absolutely rule. In the summer, we can spend hours on the porch chain smoking and debating/conversing about pretty much anything and everything. It's a good place.
Man, I've lived with a lot of people in the past 6 years.
Oh, and we all hear one another having sex all the time. It's not even strange anymore.
Hm. I miss E-Wood.
tl;dr: Dicks and Waffles.
he is probably the slobbiest person of all time
He also drove off after a night like that and ended up flipping his car and breaking his collarbone. A week or two later I was hanging out with him at his workplace and we were outside smoking cigarettes and when we went to walk back inside he tripped on the step and broke his collarbone again. A few weeks after that we were at a Halloween party and some guy got pissed at him because he was being annoying as shit and pushed him, breaking his collarbone for a third time, but this time it was actually in a better position than the first two times. He's luckier than he deserves.
We eventually kicked him and his wife (not the same girl that cheated on him) out and they're both in the Navy now and doing well from what I hear. I hope so, he was a pretty cool dude when he wasn't drinking. He just couldn't not drink and that was really sad.
My current roomies are good, my previous ones were awful. Stupid asshole using a blender at 12am and again at 5am. Dog on the counter. That place sucked.
He's a lovely guy, and I am actually annoyed that living with him causes so much friction, rather than being annoyed at him directly.
Also, the fucker cannot wash dishes or pots properly.
I kinda wanna live on my own once the lease is up. Living alone seems like such a sweet idea right now.
some people get psychotic alcoholic drug abusers that flip cars into ditches and have wives and mistresses and throw holocaust parties
campion falls apart when there's a dog on a counter
:P
They are allowed to be.
http://beta.humugus.com/index.php/auth/register/inv/1966
if you can afford it, living alone is sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet
you have the best stories, i swear.
my roommate is nice. i have nothing really to complain about, as he listens to my shit and has helped me out with business contacts and advice. my apartment rules as well, as it dates from the 50s in a down which is filled with tiny condos.
you know i have a hardcover of Ultimate Spider-Man hardcover vol.2 that I bought secondhand and it has an autograph from Bendis (a portlander) made out to a jason
I wonder...
I'm still holding that it was them actually doing it though.
I moved out and lived with two drug dealers that had bought in on a Las Vegas house after the market crash; 5 bedrooms, a den, pool and jacuzzi, etc. for under 100k. We had a fourth roomie, but she never paid the bills, so they decided to wage a passive-aggressive war against her by not paying the gas bill, forcing everyone (including themselves) to take cold showers and not be able to cook.
Showed her? I guess?
Got sick of showering in ice water and eating out all the time, and moved into another house with an unemployed dude and an MGM Grand security guard. The company I worked for went under, and now I'm back living with my mom and sister.
Shit sucks.
Dammit Zonugal, shame on you.
i never understood why this is such a "prank"
if you're fucking, okay
if you're just making noises to make people think you're fucking, uh okay but you could be fucking you know
typically it's by people who are still juvenile enough to think hearing someone else fucking is scandalous in any way and who probably take pains to fuck extremely quietly
i just slip some headphones on
If I'm trying to sleep I bang on the wall and yell at them to shut the fuck up
basically anytime else I ignore it
i've never really understood the "oh god grab the brain bleach!!!" response
i mean yeah if you're keeping me up at 3am that's kinda inconsiderate, but no more so than if you were running your coffee grinder
way more understandable actually i mean what are you doing with coffee at 3am anyway get some sleep you're a growing boy
do you want to fuck a little bit
My life is quite odd if you haven't noticed.
And yes headphones and some decently thick music got the job done.
edit: @redhead bitch has the highest fucking squeak that just grates my ears. If there were some bed thumping and maybe a quick moan, that'd be one thing but this was just straight up loud fucking
There are very few things that can be kept up for that long that don't have some sort of pattern to them. Imagine someone dumping rocks onto the floor, but not all at once and for an extended period of time. Sometimes in the afternoon, sometimes at 3am.
We moved out never knowing what it was.
This was my problem with a former room mate. He started dating a woman in the building who was a waitress. She eventually started staying over and then moved in with us, and her shift often had her getting home at literally 3 in the morning. Look, I don't mind people fucking. Hearing people fucking loudly doesn't bother me; it was a big enough apartment I could wander to the living room to give them some privacy or just throw on some headphones if I was on the computer, but being awoken regularly at 3-4 in the fucking morning by animal cries of carnal delight starts getting old.
And I don't mean once in a while. My room mate actually started going to bed around 9pm so he'd be reasonably refreshed for the evening's adventures, and I found myself going to bed earlier and earlier as well, so I'd at least have some semblance of a good night's sleep before the evening's festivities began.
Tried shuffling the bedrooms around a bit, got a fan for some background noise, and even had a general agreement to keep the noisy jungle-fucking to a minimum past midnight during the week, but it only helped so much. Eventually they got a place further west to be closer to work, and I moved way to the east and downtown for the same reason. It was on amicable terms, but as good as they were to me in all other aspects, that was always a bit annoying.
Again, not the fucking, the being obnoxiously noisy in the wee hours of the morning.
Edit: also, I've had some people above me that made weird noises too. Or just having kids stampeding around at "way too fucking late in the morning" o'clock.
Some great people round here, but my flatmate is a nurse, so she has to be up at 5 somtimes and the bass from the music upstairs or around keeps her awake. Ask them to turn it down and they turn it up. I hate asking the guard to sort it out, though, seems to damn stupid.
My current Flatmate wants to move out, which I am ok with - we pay £550pcm between the two of us at the moment, and 225 is perfectly managable on my wage (Make about £1,100 a month) - But when he leaves, obviously it will double and take half my wages a month along with it. I can probably afford to hang out here for a while at least.
But then I don't know whether I should move to a cheaper 1 bedroom place, and get tied into a lease agreement along with it - or stay here in the 2 bedroom place and risk finding a new flatmate ... I am really wary of living with someone I do not know - I like security and comfort in my living space.
I just don't know what to do - anyone else had this quandry before?
Equally, anyone in the northwest looking for a place to live at the end of may?
One of my better friends is currently seeing my flatmate, which is great, only he's a god damn machine and I can hear it down the hallway. It doesn't bother me, we both find it hillarious.
She doesn't like it when we high 5 afterwards, though.