So, I'm Being Attacked By A Giant Snake...[Hypothetically]

An-D

I currently live in Northeast China and when I'm back in the States, I'll probably be in North Carolina or Virginia, so the odds of me running into a huge-ass constrictor are obviously incredibly high.

So, I have to know, if I'm ever wandering by myself and I stumble upon a huge, hungry anaconda or constrictor and it attacks, what the hell should I do?

I read this article and it literally seems like the worst thing ever. I'm supposed to let it eat me a little bit?! Is there a better way? There has to be a better way....but I can't think of one.


Help me battle my hypothetical snake!

Elin

That's a humor article that's been circulating for a while. I don't know anything about stumbling onto giant snakes in China, but this ... information ... isn't true. I'm assuming this post is in the nature of "help me prepare for the zombie apocalypse" and you realized the article was fake.

And as for killing snakes, it's fucking hard. Really. Rattlesnakes have been known to bite after their head has been severed. But your best bet is to hack off the head.

An-D

Elin wrote: »

That's a humor article that's been circulating for a while. I don't know anything about stumbling onto giant snakes in China, but this ... information ... isn't true. I'm assuming this post is in the nature of "help me prepare for the zombie apocalypse" and you realized the article was fake.

I'm joking about there being snakes where I am in China. Its -10F degrees on average. They would not survive long.

That doesn't change my question. If I'm attacked by a giant snake, how do I work the situation so I walk away at the end?

I had a dream that there was a giant constrictor in my bed the other night and I would really like to have an escape plan for any hypothetical next times.

John Matrix

Do the wildlife there a favor and kill it. Wondering in the wilderness? Carry some sort of knife. Give said snake the cold steel. They don't like it up 'em, you know.

Elin

http://www.fort.usgs.gov/FLConstrictors/FAQ.asp

Fort Collins Science Center wrote:

Human Risk

Q: Which of these snakes is the largest and potentially the most dangerous to people?

None of these snakes pose more than minimal risk to human safety. Human fatalities from non-venomous snakes in the wild are very rare, probably only a few per year worldwide. However, though attacks on people are improbable, they are remotely possible given the large size that some individual snakes can reach. The reticulated python is the world’s longest snake (adult females may exceed 26 feet); the green anaconda is the world’s heaviest snake (upwards of 250 pounds). The snake most associated with unprovoked human fatalities in the wild is the reticulated python, though unprovoked fatalities are known for Burmese and both African pythons as well. Known fatalities caused by these snakes in the wild, though rare, have occurred in the snakes’ native ranges.

Although the green anaconda is the heaviest snake, there are no well-documented unprovoked fatal attacks by green anacondas on humans. Furthermore, it is not a widely held pet, and it prefers tropical bodies of fresh water that are relatively uncommon in the United States. On the other hand, some of the smaller species (e.g., yellow anacondas) that are extremely unlikely to attack humans are more likely to find suitable habitat in the United States; therefore, yellow anacondas constituted a higher ecological risk.
All known fatalities in the United States are from captive snakes, typically while a snake owner is consciously interacting with the animal in some way. The simplest and surest way to reduce the remote risk of human fatalities is to avoid interacting with a giant constrictor. Overall, the risk of attack is miniscule, but because many suburban areas, backyards, and similar areas in Florida include ponds, canals, or other bodies of water where giant snakes would likely feel at home, the situation is similar to that experienced with alligators: attacks are highly improbable but possible in any locality where the animals are present.

An-D

I know its improbable, but so is having your plane crash, but they still go over the 'In the event of a...' drill before every take-off.

That is what I want. A 'In the event of a huge-ass snake attack...'


And from what I've heard, stabbing the snake doesn't stop it from attacking.

flowerhoney

You should probably just run away

If you're worried about being bitten by a snake, then maybe you should find articles about venom bites and how to immediately treat them. Maybe you could also have a mental map of the nearby hospitals and clinics. It might also help to not wander into the wilderness alone.
http://www.kingsnake.com/snakegetters/class/snakebite.html
If you're worried about being constricted to death, then I dunno what to tell you

Are you educating yourself on what to do if bears attack? Or wild dogs? Of all the possible things that could attack you, I'm curious why you chose snakes.

KurnDerak

Protect your head/chest. If it can't get around your vital organs, it can't successfully constrict you. Make yourself more trouble than you're worth.

I would think stabbing it in the eye would work pretty well. In fact, is there anything that doesn't work on? Aside from things that don't have eyes that is.

Unless you can shoot it before attacking you, I would suggest not trying a gun. Snake brains are rather small, so trying for a head shot is more likely to hurt you than kill the snake.

What about finding what their natural predators are and getting a perfume of their urine before going anywhere?

Eeveelution

if it manages to constrict you.... which it really won't, cause even while holding most constrictors, they don't just instantly wrap your asss up..., then you're doing it wrong.

Also.. snake can't bite you if you've got it held just behind the bed...

And if you're really worried, just flipping RUN AWAY.

fight or flight. Those are your options.

pinenut_canary

I used to live in a city where there was a lot of desert, and I encountered rattle snakes and other snakes quite a few times. The most important thing was to remain calm. Usually, I would be walking next to a patch of shrubs, and I'd hear a rattling. All I'd do was stop, and carefully back away from the rattle snake (sometimes I couldn't see it, so I'd just back off to the opposite of the source of the sound), and continue on with my journey.

My grandfather used to be a tourist guide in 2 or 3 Central/South American countries. He was at a hot spot in Peru once, where he would just let the tourists wander around for a few hours and shop, and he didn't need to be there, so he went underneath a tree and took a nap. He said he felt a tight claustrophobic feeling on his hand. When he looked down, there was a large snake coiled around his arm and ankle and swallowing his hand (by the sounds of it, it was a boa constrictor). The thickest part of it he said was about the thickness of a wine bottle. It was a little bit past his wrist. It was constricting him, and he couldn't feel his hand. After calling his friend over to "come check this out, man!" he just calmly grabbed its upper mouth/head, yanked it open and pulled back until its head snapped and died. It took a little while to get the rest of the snake uncoiled off of him, but he was fine.

Snakes won't attack you maliciously unless feeling threatened, and getting swallowed by one while you're caught unawares is very uncommon. Just give it a wide berth and continue on with what you're doing. When it comes to defending yourself from a snake, violence of action is usually not the way, keeping your cool is most important.

KurnDerak

Honestly, I would generally say never just RUN AWAY from anything predatory. That can often be one of your worst options as many predatory animals have the instinct to chase things that run away. This may not be true with snakes, but I would consider it a good rule. Backing away from the animal is sometimes better as you don't set off its instinct to chase and you can keep on eye on what it is doing.

Realistically, when dealing with snakes in America I believe you would be less likely to be attack than you would in their natural habitat. They are now in a new environment with ample food supply where it is the top of the food chain, and people are quite often too large to be worth hunting even when they don't have a buffet at their feet.

And on my previous post, I don't think large constrictors generally have natural predators so you might want to avoid the pee perfume.

HK5

I love obsessing over phobias. My personal phobia is definitely spiders but I'm definitely willing to entertain other people's fear-porn by scouring youtube.

Giant snakes don't eat very often so chances are if you stumble on one it won't be be interested in you.

Try to stay out of the water, snakes have the advantage in that substrate and adding the drowning factor to strangulation lowers your chances of survival. Case in point http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SxV1yXKDo28&feature=related

Remember that the striking distance (how far it can reach from where it's sitting to bite you) is often twice the length of the snake, so for really large snakes you want to keep as much distance as possible. Even constrictors and anacondas will bite and they can and will take a chunk out of you if they think you're threatening them.

But seriously, you're not going to run into a giant snake. Unless you wander down to southeast asia. Then watch out for the burmese pythons.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41-Wt56ZhxI

Trillian

The chances of you finding any constrictor snake big enough to do you any harm at all are extremely slim.
Like, pretty much zero.
I'd worry about the copperheads and cottonmouths more than someone's feral pet eating you.

Cliff

You might as well ask "how do I dodge lightning?" because you're more likely to get struck by it than a constricting snake attacking you. Odds are if you ever do encounter one, it will be actively trying to get away from you. There are only 3 types of animals I know of that will eat people: crocs/gators, polar bears, and some tigers.

DarkMecha

I actually live in North Carolina, and used to live in Virgina for awhile before here. In general, you'd have to go out of your way to find something like that. Did you plan on going on long trips in the wilderness by yourself?

Though I must admit, when I lived in Portsmouth VA me and some school friends ( was like 14 or so ) would catch crabs in this marsh area, and man there was a huge, like 9+ foot water snake we'd see often. Every time we did, so much running and screaming!

However should such a thing happen, best bet IMO would be to poke it's friggen eyes out. I have no idea if it would let you go, but I doubt it would like it very much!

Figgy

In Anaconda, Ice Cube punches a giant snake right in the face. You could try that?

An-D

I'm joking about encountering a giant snake in NC, VA or even in NE China. I know where snakes live.

I'm just looking for ways to deal with them if they were to ever spawn from my imagination and attack.

Like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynqLu1UDwYY

or this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TA_FyNVrLmo


I don't care for those scenarios.


Okay, lets say a small-ish one (10 feet?) decided to wrap around me and constrict. If one of my arms were free, could I unwrap it relatively easily?

bsjezz

i think the idea is if it managed to get up and around you and started squeezin' there aren't armies that could stop it

[url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Constriction]wikipedia[/url] wrote:

It has been revealed that the green anaconda (Eunectes murinus) has a constriction strength of 6 kg/cm2, which effectively means a total strength of 4000 kg [4].

reckon you can unwrap 4000 kilos from ya?

Grizzled

OP, where I work we see these guys on a semi-regular basis (beware disgusting picture of necrotic envenomed leg down the page). In contrast to constrictors, they are territorial, aggressive and easily annoyed. If bitten you have an hour or two to get anti-venom, then you die; this could be a near thing since we are about an hour from the nearest clinic.

Standing instructions are, if you see one, leave the area quickly but without running (don't want to agitate it).

If possible, we kill them. A couple we found bloated and digesting large meals; they get hacked to death with machetes. If we see them in the road, we try to run them over with the truck.

Hevach

An-D wrote: »

Okay, lets say a small-ish one (10 feet?) decided to wrap around me and constrict. If one of my arms were free, could I unwrap it relatively easily?

I've got a large king snake (large for a male California king anyway - 5.5 foot, and MUCH skinnier than a python or anaconda of the same length), and I managed to startle him with a quick hand movement in front of his face once. He bit my hand and wrapped my wrist. Even at that size, I couldn't unwrap him with my free hand easily, at least not without hurting him. Dousing a snake in cold water will usually make it release, but running to the bathroom isn't really an option with a 50 pound snake around your chest when the bathroom's a mile away.

A 10 foot snake's probably not big enough to potentially see you as food, which is to your benefit. You're more likely to get bitten than constricted. Getting bitten by a constrictor is pretty bad, though. They've got a huge number of tiny needle hook teeth. Even when they decide they want to let you go, those teeth catch in your skin. Lots of very painful and infection prone tearing.

Something to keep in mind if you're going to fight back: Make it lethal. Snakes can keep moving with some pretty catastrophic injuries. I know this from running over a garter snake with the lawn mower - the front half made it to the neighbor's yard and disappeared before it died. There's a reason Grizzled mentions cutting them up, and the old wives tail about a snake's body not dying until the next sunrise has its root in reality.

Treat it like a zombie: Remove the head or destroy the brain. And stay the fuck away from the body when you do, it will still thrash around before it dies. Large constrictors can basically fuck you up with any part of their body: Get whipped by their tail when they thrash and you're talking about broken bones.

KurnDerak

HK5, generally speaking a snakes striking distance is only 1/2 the snake's body length, iirc. It is a rare occasion that a snake can even strike it's full body length, I've only ever heard of one but don't remember which it is. If a snake could strike twice it's length that would mean snakes would throw their body through the air equal to their own length. So our hypothetical constrictors would throw themselves up to 20 or so feet through the air at prey.

Also, I have never heard of any snake outside of a SyFy original that can take a chunk out of anything. That is part of why they eat things whole, they can't take chunks. That is also advantageous to us as we are harder to swallow whole due to our average body size.

To Cliff, there are other animals that are known to eat people. Though as a general rule it's rare for animals to eat human, not sure why, it just is. Anyway, other animals are sharks and a few other kinds of large fish, lions, komodo dragons, grizzlies and kodiaks, no instances come to mind but I imagine there has been at least been one instance with wolves, other people, chimpanzees sometimes steal babies, dingos, hyenas, and cougars. With how easy humans are a prey, it is kind of a wonder that almost everything I've listed is usually considered rare/a freak to hunt humans.

With a 10 foot snake it depends on where it tried to constrict you. It it was around your neck/head, I think you're dead. Constrictors are insanely strong. If it was around your chest you might be able to get it off, as I don't know if it would be strong enough to keep you from breathing. If you only had one arm free I don't think you could get it off. However, having a 10 foot snake constrict you is even rarer seeing as it would have no way of eating you unless it thought your hand or foot was a small animal.

EWom

No native constrictor in the US is going to pose any threat to you at all unless you're a toddler, or younger. However there are rogue pythons in south, mostly however in Florida. They can get up to 20ft long.

What do you do if one attacks you?

1) It will only attack you if you are a dumbass and piss it off.

2) 99% chance that it's going to bite you, and not try to constrict you, if you happen to be a dumbass, and piss it off. So your best bet, is if you see one, don't be a dumbass and try to interact with it, just go the other way. If it bites you and it's in the 99% chance that it won't try and kill you, it's basically a defense bite, with its hundreds of needle sharp serrated teeth, and it's going to hurt like a bastard asshole. It's going to hang on for awhile, and the more you struggle the longer it will hang on. So take it. When it's over your going to want to go to a hospital for antibiotics for sure & possibly stitches.

3) Once again, unless you are being stupid on every possible level, they are not going to attack you. Preparing for this, is a lot like preparing for when you stick a fork in an outlet. Yes it can kill you, but in order for it to do so, you need to be the one doing everything wrong.

4) If a 20 foot python does decide to attack you, you're pretty much fucked, your only options are to try and go for the eyes, alternatively try and choke it out, right below the head, though that doesn't work very well. And the harder you fight, the harder it's going to fight, and its as strong as about 43 of you.

5) People in FA regularly hunt these rogue pythons, and a lot of them simply use machetes and chop off the head. Some use guns and shoot the head. Most people just leave them alone, which is exactly what you need to do.


Now having that said, a small constrictor like a ball python, or some species of boa that are commonly sold in the pet trade, are often draped over peoples neck & shoulders because they think it's cool. If the snake is startled, or agitated, it can constrict you at the neck and kill you. It takes about 3 adult males to pull one 3-4ft boa off of someone when it doesn't want to be pulled off. I know this from experience pulling a pet snake off a friends arm.

Kings & corns and other common snakes in the pet trade aren't nearly as strong as pythons and boas. I however happen to have a boa constrictor.


By greldek at 2010-10-26

And that's about as big as it's going to get, maybe a bit longer, but it won't get much thicker.

Also it's a myth that they constrict you by squeezing on your lungs (your, or preys). What actually happens is that they overload the pressure in your veins, and essentially cause a heart attack. Which is way more awesome. (But again if you happen to get one wrapped around your neck, that is straight up strangulation.)

Also I see people talking about striking length, it varies by species, and the safest thing to do is DON'T FUCK WITH WILD SNAKES.


And just for fun here's two of my other pets. There are scorpions similiar to this in SE Asia, but not exactly like this one, it is from Africa.


By greldek at 2010-10-26

And this guy is from South America.


By greldek at 2010-10-26

My wife can't wait for the day we get a "normal" pet.

bwanie

how on earth does a snake strike further than it's bodylength... it wields a pike?

EWom

Usually in f-14s.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSa43TX-xFs&feature=related



But some venomous snakes strike so fast, they literally do launch themselves forward with the momentum, it's not like they strike 3 times their body length, but they do strike up to and a bit over their body length.

bwanie

yeah good point.

but were talking lumbering constrictors here.

KurnDerak

Lesser known fact, all snakes are able to use their own body as a reach weapon.

EWom, just tell your wife that emperor scorpions and tarantulas are basically 8 legged teddy bears. They just want a hug and to be your friend.

Sir Carcass

The thing about snakes is they only understand their own language. So if a snake bites you, you bite that fucker right back. If it tries to swallow you, well, you pick up that tail and swallow him first.

This is best done in full view of the other snakes. After 10 or 20 instances of this, you'll develop a bit of a reputation among the snake underground.

bwanie

get a pet badger, maybe 2

not even kidding.

(ok i am kidding, but only because you're affraid of constrictors.)

Gabriel_Pitt

Badgers? We don't need no stinking badgers!

Arch

Sir Carcass wrote: »

The thing about snakes is they only understand their own language. So if a snake bites you, you bite that fucker right back. If it tries to swallow you, well, you pick up that tail and swallow him first.

This is best done in full view of the other snakes. After 10 or 20 instances of this, you'll develop a bit of a reputation among the snake underground.

Well I was going to post about how the odds of you, even if you do run across one in the wild, of it actually attacking you are so slim but this covers it

True life though- if it has grabbed you, and you have something or anything free, don't try to struggle or overpower the crushing. This is what prey do, this is why they die. Fight smarter, not harder. If you can, attack its head directly. Go for the eyes, and try to do as much damage as you can. If you can, jam something as far into the orbital as possible. Otherwise? Yeah pretty much fucked

Arch

Also, here is an interesting site* from a herpetologist, and he has a paper that documents two predatory attacks on his researchers by Anaconda (both lived)

*the formatting is shitty though

Underdog

This is a terrifying thread!

acidlacedpenguin

Sir Carcass wrote: »

The thing about snakes is they only understand their own language. So if a snake bites you, you bite that fucker right back. If it tries to swallow you, well, you pick up that tail and swallow him first.

This is best done in full view of the other snakes. After 10 or 20 instances of this, you'll develop a bit of a reputation among the snake underground.

Reported...

FOR AWESOME

as far as answering the question goes, you could probably keep a portable butane torch (they're about the size of regular lighter except they burn much hotter) and I can imagine the intense pain caused from the torch would be a better deterrent than shivving the snake with a knife. My reasoning is that the snake is probably going to be conditioned to stabbing and biting from its prey and it would feel relatively normal to get attacked in a similar way. The burning sensation is probably one that isn't normal to a snake, so it might be all "wait a second, this isn't what the food does, maybe this isn't food."

finally an image I thought of when I was writing the previous paragraph.

An-D

Sir Carcass wrote: »

The thing about snakes is they only understand their own language. So if a snake bites you, you bite that fucker right back. If it tries to swallow you, well, you pick up that tail and swallow him first.

This is best done in full view of the other snakes. After 10 or 20 instances of this, you'll develop a bit of a reputation among the snake underground.

I can't try to swallow the snake back because I'm criminally homophobic.



So, it looks like my best odds of dealing with a giant constrictor is to kill it:

1. With Knives
2. With Guns
3. With Fire
4. With Any combination of the above

Go for the brain (Doubletap?), chop off the head or go for the eyes.



What should I do if it starts to eat me and I'm still conscious? The more I think about it, the more I kind of realize that that is my fear. Venomous snakes and that kind of stuff doesn't bother me. Its the fear of being knocked out during a snake struggle and awakening to find myself chest deep in snake. The way the constrictors' mouths work is crazy scary. Even more so when you realize that its full of little hooks.

acidlacedpenguin

if you've been swallowed whole then the snake has fallen into your trap. You see your boots, pants, and socks are actually made of extra strength chocolate laxatives and woven with strands of metamucil so you slide right out of his pooper pretty much instantly and are able to take off running.

Alternatively, while you're sliding right out you could draw your knife and slit him in twain.

Elin

This is a real picture. If this thing bit you, you're probably done. That bulge? This thing at a full grown Impala ewe. An Impala is 80-110 pounds. Nom.

Seriously, snakes are well designed. Those scales, they are not hooked together. Snake skin is actually elastic and the scales separate to allow for large meals. The lower jaw is elongated to allow for that huge gape. The jaws can unhinge in some snakes to allow easier swallowing. Some snakes can even unhinge the jaw right where the human chin would be. Your best defense is to get the hell away from these things, if it comes to a fight, they'll probably win.

http://www.hoax-slayer.com/electric-fence-snake.shtml

L Ron Howard

I'm no expert, but for crocodiles and alligators it's best to run in a zig-zag, right?
Why would that not work for snakes? The thing is going to fling itself at you, right? So if you keep moving and constantly changing course as you're fleeing, wouldn't it have a much, much harder time to bite/grab you?

Elin

L Ron Howard wrote: »

I'm no expert, but for crocodiles and alligators it's best to run in a zig-zag, right?
Why would that not work for snakes? The thing is going to fling itself at you, right? So if you keep moving and constantly changing course as you're fleeing, wouldn't it have a much, much harder time to bite/grab you?

That's a myth. Really, crocs and alligators aren't going to chase anything. They're surprise predators, if they miss they're going to settle back down and wait for an easier meal. The thing with crocs and gators is that you aren't usually going to see them until it's too late. And their hold is incredibly strong and they're going to pull you under and drown you.

http://www.flmnh.ufl.edu/cnhc/cbd-faq-q4.htm

NotYou

bsjezz wrote: »

i think the idea is if it managed to get up and around you and started squeezin' there aren't armies that could stop it

[url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Constriction]wikipedia[/url] wrote:

It has been revealed that the green anaconda (Eunectes murinus) has a constriction strength of 6 kg/cm2, which effectively means a total strength of 4000 kg [4].

reckon you can unwrap 4000 kilos from ya?

Snakes can be unwrapped, you just have to start with one of the ends. While the whole body is putting out a lot of force, the sections by themselves aren't a ton, so yes unwrapping is possible. Might be rather difficult if you're the one getting choked out though.

EWom

Elin wrote: »

L Ron Howard wrote: »

I'm no expert, but for crocodiles and alligators it's best to run in a zig-zag, right?
Why would that not work for snakes? The thing is going to fling itself at you, right? So if you keep moving and constantly changing course as you're fleeing, wouldn't it have a much, much harder time to bite/grab you?

That's a myth. Really, crocs and alligators aren't going to chase anything. They're surprise predators, if they miss they're going to settle back down and wait for an easier meal. The thing with crocs and gators is that you aren't usually going to see them until it's too late. And their hold is incredibly strong and they're going to pull you under and drown you.

http://www.flmnh.ufl.edu/cnhc/cbd-faq-q4.htm

Unless it's a mother guarding a nest, then it will chase you.

Grenn

EWom wrote: »

Off topic but - Chilean Rose? I had one for a long time before giving it to my father-in-law to look after. It's still healthy and going strong, and will be (at least) 20 years old this year. It has outlived all my other pets!

As for the OP: I'm sure as long as you don't walk right into one and piss it off, you aren't in any immediate danger from snakes.