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Tales from the Dish Pits
E Flat
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Do you work in a kitchen? I've been working in a dozen different restaurants, bars and bistros over the past half a dozen years, and if there's one thing you accumulate en masse aside from burns, scars, and foreign swear words, it's war stories. That one time the work experience kid almost fell in the deep fryer, or the chef chopped a finger off and kept working his whole shift anyway, or you got so pissed off with a waiter that you got into a full on fist fight right in front of the customers. So what about you fine people? Share your tales of woe.
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Dear satan I wish for this or maybe some of this....oh and I'm a medium or a large.
2...
1...
Now I'm disappointed.
I'm going to grow my sideburns just in case.
Secret Satan 2013 Wishlist
it is not as zany as advertised
I'm always a partial shave away from being sideburned.
So Dane Cook is not funny no matter what job he's doing?
Secret Satan 2013 Wishlist
Tonight you wanna make a fine meal?
Too bad fry up some chicken strips for the kids and slop some more sauce on that steak.
depends on where you work
most places I'd say it's not so much "cooking" as it is "following simple instructons repeatedly"
yep
Thinking about going back to washing though, don't have to deal with people and once you're in the zone, it's pretty calming
first few years were hella scrubbing/repetitive chopping/a little cooking, then last year i was made a supervisor and it was even more of all of those (when something goes wrong at that place, it ain't the cheap labor that's gonna volunteer to work 4 extra hours to get shit out on time, it's the cooks who are actually getting paid) plus the joys/stresses of supervising and actually having responsibility
will probably be head cook this year because so many people aren't coming back haha oh boy fuck me
Also dishwashing in an old folks home weren't so bad for a high school job, I must say
"As a clarification, this doesn't mean you can't talk about certain topics. The "science thread" is locked, but if you find a really interesting science article and you want to talk about it, make a thread and talk about it. Just don't make it a "put all science things in here" thread.
Different topics get different threads. We're trying to break up how ugly this forum operates, not trying to prevent you from discussing what you want. It'd be nice not to have to rely on megathreads at all in due time."
Larlar's word is Lawlaw.
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Why don't you already have sideburns?
I used to get drunk before work, and then nonsensically argue my way up to the main cooking line where I would prepare steaks for people. At that point in time I had not eaten meat in something like 6 years, but I felt more than qualified to cook it for other people.
Re: Dishwasher (Casual)
I am writing to apply for the position of "Dishwasher (Casual)" because, let's face it, dishwashing isn't a career. I'm not going to sit up all night and worry about the stats on my quarterly dishwashing report. I want to show up for my shift, wash gross half-eaten food off plates for a few hours, and then go home. It sounds like the sort of job that I don't even need to think about while I'm doing it. I can think about weird sex things or about what if zombies were racist, would they not eat you if they hated the colour of your skin? Would you be safe? Or would they eat you out of spite? I need to make a few extra dollars to pay rent, to buy groceries. I don't want to have to care what your company stands for, or try and make myself sound like some kind of inhuman perfect employee.
It's like meeting girls. A relationship is just another kind of job, isn't it. In the beginning you pretend to be that perfect employee. You lie in the interview and then you do your best for a while. You never step out of line. You always wait until you go home to use the bathroom if it's number two. You shave and brush your teeth every day. When you're kissing you never pull out the pen and write "whore" on her body unexpectedly. You behave. But how long can that go on before you start going crazy? You have to be yourself. That's why it's called being yourself.
And soon you start slipping up. You think, "Oh, I'll just use the bathroom a little bit. Just a bit of a number two, to hold me over until I get home." You start chewing gum just before you see her, because you forgot to brush today. You find yourself writing, "who" on her confused face, and you scramble for a weak explanation. "Oh, I just didn't want to forget to look something up, later. Who, uh... Who played the girl in The Apartment? Was it Shirley MacLaine?"
In the end it never works out. You are who you are, no matter what you pretend at the beginning. So I'm not pretending. I drink to ignore my problems. I spend more time with my computer than with my friends. I don't have a very good relationship with women. I am angry and lonely, but I can wash dishes just fine. I'm being honest. Please don't be an asshole about this.
Yours,
Joey Comeau.
i have never seen these before and i like them
that one is my favorite
e pretty sure it is about me specifically
As we said at Godfathers, we were a number not a name. But Pizza Hut was the besssssssttttttttttt! So it all depends on management.
Why don't you go post in it?
Really hits the marks in a lot of places about working in a restaurant
Also, we talk about sex pretty much non-stop all day at work.
Last summer, the kitchen job I had been at for about a year and a half at that point... hoo boy. Sketchy management. The head chef and I got along incredibly well so I stuck it out for him and because, despite the shoddiness of the administration, we did our job well and enjoyed it.
Well, the head chef left, and so for about 3 weeks I was dumped on with all the responsibilities. I did the orders for EVERYTHING, when I had never done it before. Was going entirely on what I had seen the head chef do and what I knew we usually got on shipment days. Not fun though. At all. It all ended up with me quitting and telling the restaurant manager I hated the job and never wanted to come back.
Now I wash dishes and help with dinner services at a high-end old folks home. The head chef and sous chef are guys I worked with at another restaurant a few years back. That's one great aspect about working in kitchens, you start to know people and soon enough you can get a job almost anywhere in a city because you know people. It's great.
edit: Yeah, Daric, that's how it is at all the good jobs I've been at too. Normal conversations are for pussies.
I waited tables in a sushi/pan-asian cuisine place for awhile in college. I used to eat leftover sushi from customer's plates all the time. When you work in a restaurant being concerned about "germs" in your food seems hilariously trivial and downright pointless because you get to see how food is handled during preparation.
The sushi was pristine compared to anything else you could be eating and because of the care taken to make it and arrange it on the plate you could always tell if it had even come into contact with so much as a chopstick.
I ate so many different kinds of sushi that I'd never have ordered myself by eating what my customers left on their plates.
Flying fish roe (the gelatinous mass of orange pearl-like eggs they excrete) was the least-appetizing thing I ever ate by doing that. It tasted like little cysts filled with sea-water.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody walked out of the cooler with a giant beef tenderloin swinging around from their crotch, I'd be retired.
Or making masturbating motions with a carrot. As you peel it. Fuck kitchens are weird places.
this
makes me wonder about the quality of restaurants where you worked