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Talking to a Shrink
Penguin_Otaku
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
So, for several reasons my bestfriend who I've dated for the past year and a half wants me to get help and talk to someone.
I don't want to. I'm not a big fan of talking to some stranger about my problems. It terrifies me for some reason, but I'm going to try it for her and mine own sake.
Do you guys have any experience with something similar? I don't really have anything to hide, I'm not worried about that. I just don't know how a stranger, who knows nothing about me, can sit there and figure me out from similar circumstances. That just seems... odd to me, I guess.
I've talked to a shrink when I was back in the 4th grade for issues with suicide (yup, fucked up right?) and I haven't really given it any thought since...
So any advice, encouragement, berating you guys have I'd love to hear it.
I don't want to. I'm not a big fan of talking to some stranger about my problems. It terrifies me for some reason, but I'm going to try it for her and mine own sake.
Do you guys have any experience with something similar? I don't really have anything to hide, I'm not worried about that. I just don't know how a stranger, who knows nothing about me, can sit there and figure me out from similar circumstances. That just seems... odd to me, I guess.
I've talked to a shrink when I was back in the 4th grade for issues with suicide (yup, fucked up right?) and I haven't really given it any thought since...
So any advice, encouragement, berating you guys have I'd love to hear it.
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Without help, you stand still and hold your problems inside and let them stagnate. A good therapist just points out the path forward. You do all the walking yourself.
In any case I'd say that if your best friend who you've been dating for a year and a half says it's a good idea, and your own compunctions are the sort of ones you've given us here, then yes, it's probably a good idea. We don't know you anywhere near as well as your best friend, so we have to either go with them and say "see a shrink" or go with you and say "you don't need to see one," but what you've told us only seems to me to make it more likely that it would be a good idea to talk to somebody.
That being said, depending on what it is you want to get out of it, therapy can be (hard) work. While I would say that going to see a therapist would be a good idea, even if so you can see what you'd get out of it, it's only as good as to what you yourself put into it.
Also, don't be afraid to switch therapists if you feel like you can get with them. There are a lot of therapists out there who have different ways to practice. If you're a student, you can always start at your uni/community college counseling center for referrals.
There are also differences between psychiatrists, psychologists, and master level therapists. Unless you are suffering from some severe psychiatric illness, I'd probably stick with a psychologist or a therapist.
Re: neurologists. They're not suitable to provide psychotherapy. They may know some stuff about psychiatric illnesses, but their training and specialty isn't to deal with issues related to mental illnesses. That, and they are hard to get into and if you're not on an insurance plan, can cost $$$ for one appointment.
Exactly. It's nice to get an outside perspective and have someone help you identify your problems and work to fix them
It might take you a couple of tries to find the right therapist for you. I had a therapist I saw a few times and she was very quick to judge. I didn't care for that so I severed ties and found someone who was more willing to listen. You could find the one for you on the first try but don't get discouraged if it doesn't happen
And kudos for you for willing to go see someone. I'm sure your SO will appreciate it and I hope it works out for you
And not everything in the head is a psychiatric issue. Chemical imbalances in the brain can't be talked away, but can be diagnosed and treated, and neurologists are just as capable as diagnosing problems. And the neurologist I see is no more expensive than any other specialized doctor I've been too.
You're a bit confused. The specialty you're describing is Psychiatry (a medical specialty, so therefore capable of prescribing medications). Neurologists treat diseases like Multiple Sclerosis, Parkinsons, and strokes - diseases that are neurological, not psychiatric. Psychologists (who can't prescribe medications) will focus a lot more on talk therapy (or psychotherapy) as opposed to drugs. If they think that a medication is needed, they need to recommend it to the patient's doctor. Psychiatrists sometimes engage in psychotherapy, but more commonly do less talking and more prescribing.
The last part of your statement is only partially true. Medications (from a Psychiatrist or your family doctor) are very useful, but so is psychotherapy (talking). Sometimes meds are sufficient on their own, or in combination with psychotherapy, but sometimes just talking is enough. The use of medication is strongly supported by evidence, but it isn't the only treatment that works (it depends on the patient).
To the original poster, I think a few others have already described what psychotherapy is very well. For many people, talking about these kind of problems and discussing solutions can be enough to help you overcome them. Considering your best friend's concern for you, it's definitely worth a shot. I would just go into it with an open mind and don't expect the psychologist/psychiatrist to tell you what to do, but rather try to help you work through any problems you might have. Keep in mind that not every "shrink" is the same, so I hopefully whoever you see is helpful and a good fit.
Hope it all works out for you.
I found it tremendously helpful. In the same way that having to write something down forces you to put your ideas into a coherent and logical sequence, talking out loud about stuff that confuses you makes you piece those things together in a way that makes sense when it might not have before.
Did it solve any of my problems? Not really. But it helped me figure out what a lot of my hangups really were, and that was really valuable. I'd definitely encourage you to at least try it for a couple of sessions.
I would say definately give it a shot. It won't hurt and can potentially change your life around if you let it.
Steam Username:Glirk_Dient
A little anecdotal, but I recently went to a therapist to deal with some problems. And I had to switch therapists, because I learned I was totally unable to open up to another man about my issues, I just couldn't put myself in a vulnerable place because of physical and emotional abuse I endured from my dad as a kid. The therapist didn't tell me that, I just learned that on my own, and it was something I didn't realize until just recently. And it really helped me understand my failures in my last relationship (becoming too reliant on my girlfriend) and showed me new ways to grow as a person. There's lots of other stuff I haven't been able to talk to her about, but you build an interesting relationship with these people, and they're a great asset for those who haven't had the most ideal start in life.
And yeah, it's weird to think that they're going to give you similar advice to someone else, but people are weirdly predictable. We have one part of our brain that's emotional, and thoughtful, and deep but, another part that's quite simple. We have needs and wants and disappointments, almost all of which are universal.
What that means is that if you have the freedom to do so you may need to shop around a bit. If you don't like the first one you see, try another one or two before dismissing the whole thing. My current therapist is the best I've seen. He's a talker, asking questions and providing feedback, and until I started seeing him I never saw therapy as being particularly useful. He's my fifth attempt at this, and the only one so far that's really been a good match for me.
I suppose its much like asking for help over the internet, except you get to meet them in person. :P
Most of the points have been covered, I think. In some ways, a therapist or counselour is just a friend, helping you sort out certain problems or issues. They certainly have thier own issues, but they are more or less there to help you with yours. Not everybody has people like this in thier circle of friends, and even if they do, there is always give and take (socially)- money just sort of rebalances that scale so they can focus on you completely.
Because its a personal and social thing, you need to find someone you're comfortable with, and not everybody will be a good fit for you. Play the field a bit. You likely won't have to search to hard, most of the therapists and counselours I know are extremely friendly people who get along well with just about anyone.
I keep talking myself out of it. SO turns out to just want to push me off onto this and we're not really together anymore. That's fine and well, though a big bummer.
I've battled with suicidal thoughts for years now and I feel them creeping up again despite a lot of good things going on for me. It's not that I feel bad about myself or I'm unhappy with my life, I just don't feel deserved enough.
And I have a lot of friends here and there, but none I'm all that close to. No one really knows me outside of ex-SO in the way I need help. And I don't want to just dump my problems on them and expect help, because this is a big thing but I'm fighting myself over it now and I have no idea who's going to win. This time feels different.
Do you have any family you're close to? Consider talking to them if so. If you feel like you're burdening someone, just consider whether you'd want them to come to you if they were considering suicide.
If that's not an option (or even if it is), I really recommend calling a hotline to talk this out with someone. If you're feeling suicidal, I really hope you'll consider calling. They should be a good resource. 1-800-273-TALK (8255) is the # for a national hotline, which will connect you to a more local service. It's confidential, too. They should be helpful in talking out your problems, helping brainstorm solutions, connect you with local resources, etc.
If you'd go to a mechanic when your car starts puking oil, there shouldn't be any holdup about seeing a psychiatrist about your brain.
Psychologists/Therapists are the people who actually talk to you about your life, and help you work through your problems.
Using both together is highly recommended!