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Academia
Torso Boy
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Disclaimer: I don't frequent H/A too often, and with the search function down, I don't know if there's ever been a similar thread. If I'm creating a redundancy, let me know.
Here I am, rounding out the third year of my bachelor's degree in political science. I'm reading outlines for fourth-year courses and contemplating topics for an honours essay. Panic is setting in, because I'm in for more work than I've ever done before; I'm scared it's more than I'm capable of. Yet as far as I can tell, academia is where I belong.
I came to university for a number of reasons, not the least of which was to stall because I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. In some sense, I still don't. But I discovered what is the most fulfilling thing in my life, the currency of my satisfaction, if that makes any sense: knowledge. Learning makes me feel alive; knowing things makes me comfortable; sharing knowledge makes me feel like I'm achieving something, and on a selfish level, it makes me feel smart- and feeling smart is, so far, my favourite feeling. If I had to express my hopes and dreams as succinctly as possible, I would say that I want to be wise, and known to be wise.
So I'm on track to begin a career in academia. Paradoxically, I'm intimidated by how hard it promises to be, yet I can't help but feel that to do something easy would be wasteful and unsatisfying. I'm scrambling to fix my stupid work ethic, cure myself of procrastination, and learn to speed read. I'm writing constantly, either here or on assignments. But what dwarfs all my other concerns is anxiety and doubt. Will I enjoy myself? Will I be any good? Will I be important, mediocre or pathetic? Are my fears unfounded, or am I running a legitimate risk of failure?
I'm not asking any one question with this thread so much as looking for any thoughts. If you are or have been in academia, or the humanities in particular, what have your experiences been? Do you think there are red flags indicating someone may not be suited for that kind of career? Most importantly, and the reason this isn't in D&D, can anyone offer any advice, reassurance or warning?
Here I am, rounding out the third year of my bachelor's degree in political science. I'm reading outlines for fourth-year courses and contemplating topics for an honours essay. Panic is setting in, because I'm in for more work than I've ever done before; I'm scared it's more than I'm capable of. Yet as far as I can tell, academia is where I belong.
I came to university for a number of reasons, not the least of which was to stall because I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. In some sense, I still don't. But I discovered what is the most fulfilling thing in my life, the currency of my satisfaction, if that makes any sense: knowledge. Learning makes me feel alive; knowing things makes me comfortable; sharing knowledge makes me feel like I'm achieving something, and on a selfish level, it makes me feel smart- and feeling smart is, so far, my favourite feeling. If I had to express my hopes and dreams as succinctly as possible, I would say that I want to be wise, and known to be wise.
So I'm on track to begin a career in academia. Paradoxically, I'm intimidated by how hard it promises to be, yet I can't help but feel that to do something easy would be wasteful and unsatisfying. I'm scrambling to fix my stupid work ethic, cure myself of procrastination, and learn to speed read. I'm writing constantly, either here or on assignments. But what dwarfs all my other concerns is anxiety and doubt. Will I enjoy myself? Will I be any good? Will I be important, mediocre or pathetic? Are my fears unfounded, or am I running a legitimate risk of failure?
I'm not asking any one question with this thread so much as looking for any thoughts. If you are or have been in academia, or the humanities in particular, what have your experiences been? Do you think there are red flags indicating someone may not be suited for that kind of career? Most importantly, and the reason this isn't in D&D, can anyone offer any advice, reassurance or warning?
Torso Boy on
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A lot of people are envious of my job - I feel pretty mediocre, and wish I had more to do honestly. Working for the state is extremely boring and unproductive. My pay doesnt reflect my effort in any shape or form.
If I want a job to hide in - this is it. If I want a job to work hard and get paid for my effort - this job sucks.
Its a question of perspective.
On the other hand you're in Ontario, and I'm not sure if Canadian schools pay for your PhD or not (I know English ones don't). I don't know if you're looking at America or what but obviously if you're going to have to go into debt to finance this then it's a different situation. I would talk with your professors much more than people on this forum, because they are literally right there, right now, and they know you extremely well. It's also crucial to talk with grad students to ask them how they're finding the experience in general, because although where you go makes a big difference, they'll at least be able to tell you whether being a grad student in the field is something you'd be able to do.
I went through this myself in university; it's very tempting to pursue knowledge to justify an ego.
If you are pursuing academia to pursue knowledge, then proceed. It will be one of the best ways to continue learning for your entire life, though I would also recommend teaching as a way to do that.
However, if you are pursuing academia so that others will think you are smart, reconsider. This is a response crafted through vanity. Especially when competing against notable academics, it's not likely that you'll rise to the highest levels of the field - that's OK if you want to study, but not OK if you want to be the best. Academics - and any industry which relies on creativity - become toxic when you move forward this way.
I am familiar with this because it is my own story; learn from my mistakes and do not pursue knowledge to gain prestige.
I'd say that going to grad school for the reasons you have put forth is a bad idea. Not that you should not go, but not based on those motivations. What questions in political science interest you? What do you think you will accomplish in academia? (hint: political science professors have close to zero impact on politics). Everyone in grad school is good at reading and writing, what makes you stand out above the crowd of your potential peers? That is, what skills, experience or ideas do you bring to the table?
I would say that most grad students have these fears from time to time, even after we're in. Here are the answers: You will enjoy yourself. You will have days you will hate grad school and your life. You will have days where you feel like you aren't smart enough to be there. You will not be important; even if you are mediocre, sometimes you will feel pathetic. You are running a legitimate risk of failure, and the burnout rate is non-trivial. Also you will not make or have any money during grad school, and poor job opportunities after.
I would echo Stuf - don't go to grad school in order to feel smart. Don't do it because you think it will feel good to tell your parents, friends, lover, or random strangers that you have a PhD. And definitely don't do it because reading and writing about political science is the best (only?) thing you have found that you are good at so far. Don't do it for prestige (rarely won) or money (rarely received in large amounts).
Some sage advice that was given to me as an undergrad: "Only go to graduate school if you are sure that working forever in your_discipline is the only thing that will make you happy. If you could be equally happy doing something else, go do that instead".
Also, from a different professor: "Only 5% of academics will make real advances in the discipline, and only 1% will really come up with something truly significant. Don't fool yourself into thinking you are in that 5%".
I took time off after undergrad, did some other things, and found myself working on my_discipline at nights, on weekends, and taking vacation time in order to volunteer on research projects, and turning down promotions so I could keep doing it. So I figured I better go to grad school. And I don't regret it at all. But you should explore other avenues before deciding on it.
So academia will be hard- if you want to go into it, do it- work your ass off, and see how far you get. You may succeed, or may not but one thing you will gain and never lose is the experience, be it of operating in such a context, interacting with others at that professional level, helping students, gaining self- discipline. Nothing worth having comes easy, but you will probably gain a lot if you are able to put in the effort. Also, it'll never be too late to make a change if you feel it isn't for you- i have a friend whose father was in banking, then at 45 went on to become a pilot.
The downsides of an academic career have already been spoken of here, and i'd also add that (in certain fields), there's no concept of 'just doing a good job'- you have to be publishing and making progress, otherwise it gets seen as though you were never there. Furthermore, there's being expected to help out with other people's projects, take on students, who often need your full time, but also being expected to do your own work to the same capacity, working odd hours, weekends etc. It's quite a high- pressure lifestyle, and one which suits some, but not others.
FWIW, i'm a postdoctoral researcher in an immunology lab, but am leaving academia to pursue a career in global health. I don't regret any of my time spent working, and feel that the experience i got working in an academic setting will definitely help me in the future.
When ever i start a project, be it cleaning the house, or shoveling the driveway or reading the syllabus for my upcoming semesters work, i always feel overwhelmed and want to quit. But the house goes one room at a time, the driveway is one shovel full at a time and the semester is one class at a time and it is totally manageable. Then at the end i always look back and say, "wow, that wasn't so bad" Don't psyche your self out.
Also, one theme i read in your post was that you are not sure if your whole life will turn out as you expect. Come on man, cut your self a break. You can't possibly predict what is coming down the pipe at you in the future. Handle what is on your plate now, do you very best, and make the best of every opportunity you can get your hands on.
That's the secret to life, no one knows what they are doing. The happy ones, are just making the best of the ride.
In case you're not convinced this is true, I submit the following evidence...
This!
I'm going to be starting a PhD track in the fall in Aerospace. I didn't even consider grad school when I started as an undergrad. BUT, i started working in a lab as an undergrad, worked my ass off, and now am in a position to have a PhD fully funded with a big research budget and pay well above a normal research stipend while simultaneously working for a government lab.
Am I uncertain about this? Yes. Do I worry about the fact that making a LOT more money in industry might make me happier? Yes.
Do I also think that I want to work in research as a career and that this opportunity would be absolutely stupid to pass up? Yes and Yes.
Look at what is on your plate now and what you want to do now. Then go for it. You don't know what the future holds and really, whats the worst that can happen?
Yeah, I may have given the wrong impression about my motivation. Being x and being known to be x means that I can't pretend not to care what others think. It's less that I want to be praised, and more that I want to deserve be praised. It's one of those strange kinds of things that is simultaneously altruistic and selfish. A desire to do good and be seen as good. I'm not enough of an egoist to enter a career for prestige; I'm also human, and couldn't bear thankless work.
A better expression would be that my fundamental motivation is to make an earnest attempt to improve the world. Success in this can be defined a number of ways, and it exists on a pretty long continuum. I accept that. It can mean contributing to good policy, creating influential literature, or even teaching or tutoring well. I'm not unreasonably ambitious- it's making the earnest attempt that's important to me.
On going into political science: My prospects in the field would consist of research/review, teaching, and perhaps work in policy analysis or consulting (eventually). I want to look at new areas and areas with a deficit of good policy or literature. The closest issues to my heart are drug & vice policy (with a focus on ethical issues, international structures, harmonization of policy, and multi-lateral co-operation), internet governance, education curricula (civic, historical and critical thinking), and the political implications of trans-humanism (highly speculative, an area of study that more or less does not exist yet). My interest is here and it isn't going anywhere; and the demands for research, education or better policy are clear. Indeed, my work will have to cater directly to those demands, and understanding them is the overarching goal of my undergrad years.
What I'm certain I bring to the table is a deep-seated, persistent interest in the subject matter. In terms of skills, at my best, my writing is lucid, concise and engaging; I have excellent critical thinking skills and a low tolerance for faulty reasoning; I have a sensitive, moderate and diplomatic manner, in writing, discussion and debate. I'm insecure and a perfectionist, which means I don't advance arguments without strong support, and I can't bear to make an argument in bad faith. I'm prepared to defend an idea I believe in; I'm also prepared to abandon it if I'm shown to be wrong. Many of these qualities mean I'm ill-suited for, and uninterested in, partisan politics- so I don't have any ill-conceived leadership ambitions.
So I do feel strongly that I'm highly compatible with political science. My interest in the field preceded any interest in professional academia- it's the subject matter itself that drew me in. It's definitely where my intellectual interests lie, and for the reasons indicated in my first post, my intellectual interests have come to define my career interests.
Since I've dealt with most of my course selection and committed myself to an honours essay, this has become my mindset. I saw myself looking too far ahead and thought, well, the honours essay is going to be a pretty good indicator of whether or not I'm suited for the field. Career choices should probably follow that rather than precede it.
Most reassurance is good, but that is some excellent reassurance.
Basically, to be blunt, nobody is going to care what you have to say aside from the other 12 people in your sub-sub-field. You're going to have trouble getting people to act interested in what you do at parties, let alone getting someone in a position of power to do something that they don't want to do just because you say it's correct. Of course, maybe you'll be trying to get them to do something they already want to do, but really, then, what's the point?
I'll reiterate my advice: TALK TO YOUR PROFESSORS. Walk into their office and say you're considering a PhD because you want to improve the world. They'll tell you to get a job at an NGO or something. Academia is for academics, and their job is teaching and writing stuff.
I realize what you're saying, and this is probably the best way to put it I've heard yet.
Yeah this. Academia is a unique thing where you can get advice from the very people you want to become someday.
It's too late for this year, but if you go to school in America, they pay you.
I might be wrong about this, but my impression was that phds get stipends everywhere, but it's more common for US universities to not require that you have a masters degree first.
My friend is doing her masters in the UK now, and even with the cost of going abroad, she's saving a ton of money over a US masters because tuition in the US is so freaking high.
I can't stress this enough. You need to break things down into little pieces. As an engineering grad student, just thinking about all of the work I need to accomplish in 2 months literally overwhelms me to the point where I think about dropping out. But, if grad school has taught me anything, is that you need to take it one day at a time.
Now, each day will most likely end with you working constantly (8 hrs a day or more) on academics (be it research or class work), but it goes by quickly, and you realize that it's not so bad... that is if you are cut out for it. Some people just can't handle it and drop out (be it from a lack of motivation or intelligence). If that so happens to be you, don't sweat it. Grad school is not for everyone.
Something else to consider: the academic job market is terrible right now, especially in the liberal arts (humanities and social sciences). If you want a job, make sure to pick a part of your field that is very relevant to contemporary society and doesn't already have a billion people doing it. For example, if you have an interest, studying the non-West (especially the Middle East, parts of Africa and China) will give you more job opportunities than studying the US or Europe (which have more jobs, but a lot more people qualified and applying for those jobs). If you're thinking private sector, that MIGHT change the equation a little bit.
Also, the academic life isn't what popular culture makes it out to be. In teaching institutions, you'll spend endless hours grading work, while generally still being expected to publish some research (you'll have to do the research on your various school breaks). Only in the lower tiers of schools, with very high teaching loads, will the expectations of publishing largely be absent. In research institutions, you'll have less teaching, but much higher expectations on research/publishing. In other words, you had better absolutely love your field (teaching and research) or you'll get burned out quite quickly...and I haven't even talked about the paperwork, committee work, etc.
A PhD is difficult, and while a general love for the subject is needed, the most important thing is having an unhealthy fascination with one tiny part of your subject (in the Arts and Humanities anyway). A Masters may well help you identify something that you think is really interesting that you want to pursue for a PhD, and will allow you to understand what academic research is and how it works.
(Currently in the 3rd year of a PhD in Classics in the UK, but also grew up in academia).