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Atomika
Live fast and get fucked or whateverRegistered User regular
Live fast and get fucked or whateverRegistered User regular
CBS has officially fired Charlie Sheen from Two and Half Men.
I'm sure Sheen is looking forward to spending more time with his family. And by family, I don't mean Emilio, Martin, and Uncle Joe, but rather as many barely-legal porn stars as he can fit into a McMansion before he runs out of cocaine and/or money.
Seriously, we're going to hear about Charlie Sheen dying in about five minutes.
I'm sure Sheen is looking forward to spending more time with his family. And by family, I don't mean Emilio, Martin, and Uncle Joe, but rather as many barely-legal porn stars as he can fit into a McMansion before he runs out of cocaine and/or money.
Seriously, we're going to hear about Charlie Sheen dying in about five minutes.
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also known as an Andy Kaufman
Most people who have had problems with drug abuse, domestic violence, and erratic behavior don't suddenly decide to do performance art to trick people into believing they're having issues with drug abuse, domestic violence, and erratic behavior.
Like, Chris Brown can't go telling jokes about beating women. Bernie Madhoff can't tell jokes about con men. Mark David Chapman can't tell jokes about The Beatles.
Yeah, explaining this as performance art is a stretch; and an unnecessary one.
The man is a train wreck. Has been for years. One day he flips on the TV and he sees all these lesser media spectacles getting reality shows. Your Jersey Shores, your VH1 celeb shit, your Jon & Kates, and he says:
"What the fuck? I'm way more sensational than these dipshits. Where's my reality money?"
So now that he's lost his job on CBS; maybe he figures that if he just turns it up to 11, he might just get paid for it.
More real than you know
Except Charlie Sheen isn't acting like a rock star. Rock stars don't have to pay to have hookers; groupies sleep with them for free. Rock stars don't do a ton of cocaine; their lives are so hectic, they generally turn to downers in their off-time, like pot or heroin. Rock stars don't seek out every media outlet on the planet to assure everyone how awesome they are; they buy reclusive mansions in Tennessee and only show up to melt your face off every couple years.
Rock stars also, you know, create a product. When Mick Jagger and David Bowie were crossdressing and sleeping with each other, no one gave a shit because A), that's just too weird to comment on, and
Well, Carlos, you're living the life of excess like the king of rock. And what have you done to earn a pardon from that behavior? Ten seasons of one of the worst sit-coms, ever? Starring roles in such "winning" films like The Arrival and Scary Movie 3? Hardly.
You're living a Rick James lifestyle, but with output of Rupert Holmes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcxpbhM0DaA
Kieth Richards shows up at the Sober Valley Lodge to lick Charlie Sheen and get high.
True story.
This is exactly it. A bored actor discovering he can fall back on his vices and become a much more successful caricature in the process. Or, that's his point of view. If he's smart about it, he's not wrong. But I question if he's smart.
Where?
I heard Platoon was a thing
Ergo, Charlie Sheen is a rock star.
Oh yeah, and Henry Rollins too.
No, it probably doesn't.
I bet he could be all "Yo, (Kacey|Tanner|Capri), wasn't I a fucking laugh-riot in Hot Shots Part Deux?" And they'd be all "what year did that come out in? Was I born yet? Also why are you paying me to just sit on this couch and watch this shit?" ... Ok, that last part might be me thinking "why's he paying all this money to have them sit and watch shit with him?! THEY'LL DO THINGS, CHARLIE. THINGS!"
what the fuck
what happened to that comic
Violence again women: not a fireable offense
Talking shit about your boss: fireable offense
Probably for the best, he's going to melt down soon and he'll probably be wearing the other girl as a suit before to long.
Somewhere between Mage and Hunter, if there isn't already a Charlie Sheen: The Cokening source book.
Hot Shots: Part Deux was awesome.
Not that I'm going to watch it again because instead of laughing i'll probably just cringe at some of it.
The first one was funny too.
Wall Street
Young Guns
Cadence
Platoon
were all pretty damn good films.
all having to deal with this crap with his son
all being the overshadowed, less successful brother
...they should totally hire him to replace Charlie Sheen for the show! And pay him 3 million an episode. It would be the perfect "fuck you" move. I mean, I still wouldn't watch it, because the show sucks, but come on...
I haven't seen all of these, but Wall Street was good in spite of Charlie Sheen, not because of him.
Sure, hes been less successful financially, but hes been in some great movies:
The Mighty Ducks
Repo Man
The Breakfast Club
St. Elmos Fire (I havent seen it, but a lot of people like it)
Maybe hes been shunned because he was married to Paula Abdul?
It's either because the whole situation with his kids as sobered him up or he's manic depressive or he really is sober again after his few months of partying and trying to ride the train out.
The website WWTDD's tag of Charlie Sheen dates back to 2007 documenting every thing he's done since then. Most of them are hilariously wacky but a couple are "what the fuck?"
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